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(BBC)   Guiness Book of records hurting for new things to record   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

8683 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 May 2004 at 2:06 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

46 Comments     (+0 »)
2004-05-27 02:09:48 PM  
There was this one time that I belched the entire Star-Spangled Banner - they can have that if they want it.
2004-05-27 02:10:30 PM  
highest stack of naked Iraqi POW's?
2004-05-27 02:10:45 PM  
speed record for number of posts before turning an unrelated thread into a political flamewar: two.
2004-05-27 02:10:53 PM  
This article wins the world record for least amount of posts.
2004-05-27 02:10:55 PM  
438,470 articles submitted before I got one approved
2004-05-27 02:11:20 PM  
This should have been a photoshop contest, or at least enable voting on FARKers ideas, for crying out loud.
2004-05-27 02:12:41 PM  

Slacker. I've submitted over three million articles and haven't had one listed.
2004-05-27 02:14:06 PM  
Least number of posts in thread used by an obsessed Farker to turn a non-political thread into a policical one: two.
2004-05-27 02:14:17 PM  
Next up. Largest fark post.
2004-05-27 02:14:55 PM  
remeber when the Guiness Book of records actualy had intersting records? It's just a freak show now, with the freakiest attention whores on the planet. world teeter-totter record? Swallowing the most goldfish? Smoking the most cigarettes at once? They hold the record for largest number of stupid records
2004-05-27 02:14:58 PM  
Number of headlines I've had greenlit with a typ-o in them: Too farkin' many.

/Guinness. d'oh.
2004-05-27 02:15:45 PM  
Didn't the Brady Bunch kids win the teeter-totter record?
2004-05-27 02:16:18 PM  
Most Valentines sent to a guinea pig - Sooty, 206
2004-05-27 02:17:39 PM  
Record for the largest book that lists all kinds of records?
2004-05-27 02:18:02 PM  

no, I think it was broken by 2 college chicks from Berkley

Yes I am a fountain of useless information
2004-05-27 02:19:29 PM  
largest number of thongs/panties collected by a Japanese business man perhaps?
2004-05-27 02:20:56 PM  
The record for...
"Farthest squirt of milk out of an eye socket"
"Longest time a tarantula was held in a mouth"

Gee, I wonder why their TV show bombed?
2004-05-27 02:23:32 PM  
The books now are lame... "highest paid supermodel" etc.
2004-05-27 02:24:57 PM  
Amount of people who farkin' care about world records (besides Alex Trebek): 0

no record there.
2004-05-27 02:28:11 PM  
Longest time someone held a thumb up their arse while trying to finish a Fark Photoshop before going to the bathroom...
2004-05-27 02:29:10 PM  
My uncle has walked a total of 28,000 miles since his accident 5 or 6 years ago.
2004-05-27 02:32:05 PM  
I guess I'm the only nerd who found that article relatively interesting...
2004-05-27 02:39:58 PM  
World's most stupid person?

Bad Boat Tow
2004-05-27 02:40:53 PM  
No, no it isn't. What they need to do is go back to the old-style Book of World Records, about 500 pages with 6 pt. type. Today, the damn thing is a picture book, with about 70 ages and about 10 records a page. Somewhere they have a huge vault of records excised from the current crappy book. But I'm not bitter or anything.
2004-05-27 02:46:49 PM  
How about the record for the most times the word, "Guinness" is misspelled?

2004-05-27 02:51:43 PM  
Wurld's wurrest spellur?
2004-05-27 02:55:44 PM  
They need to burn it to the ground and start over. The book ceased being interesting when they started letting people into the book for thinking up stupid things that other people just haven't done before. Knowing the fastest sprinter, or the smallest arthropod is a long way from knowing who can cram the most eggs into their anus without breaking them while being suspended above a crowd who bats them like a pinata.
2004-05-27 02:57:31 PM  
Ultra Niktastic

the record for "actually reading the articles before posting"
2004-05-27 02:59:11 PM  
How about "Most gunshot wounds in a single suicide"? I think Abu Nidal holds the current record.
2004-05-27 03:07:18 PM  
I wonder who has the record for the largest pyramid dedicated to Ramesses? The biggest wall in China? What an enlightening story.
2004-05-27 03:16:47 PM  
Toronto, ON - May 26, 2004 - Come help us BREAK THE WORLD RECORD in "the greatest feat of lung power of our time" on May 30th at Dundas Square. Join T.R..U. (Tobacco Reality Underground), The Shuffle Demons and special celebrity guests as we attempt to shatter the Guiness Book of World Records record for most saxophones playing one song. The song of choice will be the legendary "Hockey Night in Canada" theme.

I mean come ON, people.

/trumpeter feeling left out
2004-05-27 03:17:01 PM  
Still hoping for a "Longest Time Spent Waiting For Guinness Towel" record.

BTW, they're nowhere near as fact-checky as they used to be. They pretty much took Norma Stitz at her word for "World's Largest Breasts" (and rewarded her by using her real name), and I've seen bigger.

/not in person
2004-05-27 03:17:43 PM  
the book was developed to prevent brawls in irish pubs over mundane facts and figures.
they need to get back to that.
not that i'm a perve, but i always wanted to know who had the largest cock. it never said. stoopid book.
2004-05-27 03:23:05 PM  
Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness
Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness
Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness
Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness
Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness
Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness
2004-05-27 03:29:32 PM  
How about "Book of records felt most indifferent about?"

Does anyone actually still read it? Or watch the stupid show? (is it even on anymore?)
2004-05-27 03:33:27 PM  
no one has ever recorded the stinkiest shiat
2004-05-27 03:42:00 PM  
I nominate the Fark vs. TF/TF vs. Fark thread yesterday for the world's largest syncophantic gangbang.
2004-05-27 03:59:10 PM  
Most Valentines sent to a guinea pig. Fmeh.
2004-05-27 04:17:01 PM  
Nobody's commenting about a copper mine from the Bronze age?

/got nothin'
2004-05-27 04:25:27 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-05-27 04:38:15 PM  
In my mind, those guys jumped the shark when they wanted to have that Letterman freak girl in their book, the one who could bulge her eyes way out in front of her face. So they created a new record called.... Furthest eye bulging, or some such crap. They even measured it somehow.
2004-05-27 05:07:30 PM  
Guiness is really hurting because they don't allow the really stupid, easily-get-killed stunts any more.

2004-05-27 05:42:05 PM  
Amount of dirt eaten.
2004-05-27 06:12:34 PM  
Largest number of nerds at their computers, making supposedly humorous comments about supposedly humorous news stories?

/ironic, isn't it...
2004-05-27 10:24:50 PM  
I have to parrot the others here who said the book started to suck when they quit with the cool records. I don't care about spitting or most cockroaches sat on or whatever.

And what happened to Believe it or Not? Ripley had some really strange shiat in his cartoon every day. But when the tv show finally comes on, it just shows stuff that sucks. I don't like stuff that sucks. Makes me sad.
2004-05-28 10:05:44 AM  
As a longtime fan of the Guinness Book, I have to agree that it's really gone downhill. I remember years ago when it was almost like a serious reference book. There were some "wacky" records, like "most cigarettes smoked" and "tallest unicycle," but it could also be counted on to find interesting trivia such as "fastest land mammal" or "earliest nuclear reactor."
I've received the latest edition for Christmas twice in the last few years, and was sorely disappointed. Nearly every page is plastered with huge color photos of movie stars, TV actors, and pop singers, with useless "records" as "highest-grossing" and "most downloaded."
Sold both my Guinness books at a garage sale last weekend.
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