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(The Smoking Gun)   Police search for man caught having sex with a chain-link fence after he fails to appear in court. Meanwhile, de fence rests   ( thesmokinggun.com) divider line
    More: Followup, judge orders arrest, Public indecency, Fence Sex Case, indecent exposure  
•       •       •

1838 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2017 at 4:46 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-08-16 02:54:00 PM  
Well done subby. You got the whole story, and a joke, into the headline, and even the name of the link is appropriate. Have one internet.
 
2017-08-16 02:57:51 PM  
Apparently, it was a cyclone offense
 
2017-08-16 03:10:03 PM  
kinky
 
2017-08-16 03:10:36 PM  
Was he considering whether or not he should vote for Donald Trump?
 
2017-08-16 03:18:42 PM  
Get that fence a sammich.
 
2017-08-16 03:34:47 PM  
I have to say, I have never considered having sex with a fence as a viable option.
I have, however, banged the gate a time or two.
 
2017-08-16 04:48:37 PM  
Thats really going to chafe his willy.

vignette3.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 04:49:33 PM  
Good fences make good farkbuddies
 
2017-08-16 04:50:21 PM  
I install fence for a living so this is very relevant to my interests.

I hope he caught his dick on a galvanized burr.
 
2017-08-16 04:50:32 PM  
FYI, do NOT Google fence sex

SO NSFW
 
2017-08-16 04:52:44 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 04:52:51 PM  

AquaTatanka: Thats really going to chafe his willy.

[vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x150]


You'd have to have a dick as round as a 20 oz bottle to get any pleasure from a chain link fence.  With a dick that big, I imagine it's hard finding a willing partner.  How many people really want to be farked by a 20 oz soda bottle?
 
2017-08-16 04:54:05 PM  

ChipNASA: FYI, do NOT Google fence sex

SO NSFW


All  got was this...

cdn.ebaumsworld.comView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 04:55:24 PM  
It starts off innocently enough and then it's a gateway thing and your original fetish is not enough and you move up to fences.
/totes understandable
//what comes after the fence?.
///the fence humper

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 04:56:02 PM  
c1.staticflickr.comView Full Size
/this could be a fun thread
//we need one of those
///off to the googles
 
2017-08-16 04:56:34 PM  
dlisted.comView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 04:57:02 PM  

hashtag.acronym: AquaTatanka: Thats really going to chafe his willy.

[vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x150]

You'd have to have a dick as round as a 20 oz bottle to get any pleasure from a chain link fence.  With a dick that big, I imagine it's hard finding a willing partner.  How many people really want to be farked by a 20 oz soda bottle?

A woman with a 19oz vagina.

/ "* hashtag.acronym runs off* "Hey MOM!???"
 
2017-08-16 05:00:02 PM  
static.fjcdn.comView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 05:03:52 PM  

ChipNASA: hashtag.acronym: AquaTatanka: Thats really going to chafe his willy.

[vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x150]

You'd have to have a dick as round as a 20 oz bottle to get any pleasure from a chain link fence.  With a dick that big, I imagine it's hard finding a willing partner.  How many people really want to be farked by a 20 oz soda bottle?

A woman with a 19oz vagina.
/ "* hashtag.acronym runs off* "Hey MOM!???"


I'm glad you waited for me to leave before you had sex with your mom.
 
2017-08-16 05:03:54 PM  
Golf clap on that headline. Best of the month
 
2017-08-16 05:04:20 PM  
It was a big, beautiful wall; and a Mexican laid with it. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED - Achievement Unlocked!
 
2017-08-16 05:05:00 PM  
FTA (Warrant): He put his mouth inside the chain link fence and stuck his tongue out moving it up and down. She stated that it appeared he was demonstrating a sexual act of "eating out the fence" (Cinnilingus).
Diana stated that he stuck his erected penis into the chain link fence and started "to have sex with the fence."

I know that it's a pretty lame response, but seriously: "You can't make this shiat up."
 
2017-08-16 05:07:41 PM  

hashtag.acronym: ChipNASA: hashtag.acronym: AquaTatanka: Thats really going to chafe his willy.

[vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x150]

You'd have to have a dick as round as a 20 oz bottle to get any pleasure from a chain link fence.  With a dick that big, I imagine it's hard finding a willing partner.  How many people really want to be farked by a 20 oz soda bottle?

A woman with a 19oz vagina.
/ "* hashtag.acronym runs off* "Hey MOM!???"

I'm glad you waited for me to leave before you had sex with your mom.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 05:07:44 PM  

hashtag.acronym: [dlisted.com image 500x527]


That's offensive.
 
2017-08-16 05:08:13 PM  
woodesigner.netView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 05:08:55 PM  

ChipNASA: It starts off innocently enough and then it's a gateway thing and your original fetish is not enough and you move up to fences.
/totes understandable
//what comes after the fence?.
///the fence humper

[img.fark.net image 432x352]


I'm concerned. Is that a cat in the bag?
 
2017-08-16 05:11:56 PM  
Hes gunna be a registered sex 'o fencer for life.
 
2017-08-16 05:12:43 PM  

ChromoSomes: hashtag.acronym: [dlisted.com image 500x527]

That's offensive.


If fence posts carved into penises are offensive to you, please don't go to museums.  They have stone carved penises.
 
2017-08-16 05:14:35 PM  
Should have been a wall.
 
2017-08-16 05:14:39 PM  
He shouldn't be hard to catch - all they need is a very large fishing pole, with a segment of chain fence as bait.
 
2017-08-16 05:16:23 PM  
Ugh, I hope he gave a certain farker time to get off of that thing first.
 
2017-08-16 05:17:54 PM  

baorao: [img.fark.net image 200x112]


I always thought that was the most unrealistic part of the special effects to that. There is no way the skeletal remains would have hung on or clung to the fence that long.
 
2017-08-16 05:18:11 PM  

hashtag.acronym: ChromoSomes: hashtag.acronym: [dlisted.com image 500x527]

That's offensive.

If fence posts carved into penises are offensive to you, please don't go to museums.  They have stone carved penises.


Thanks for the warning, but let me try this again: That's of-fence-ive.
 
2017-08-16 05:19:13 PM  

ChipNASA: It starts off innocently enough and then it's a gateway thing and your original fetish is not enough and you move up to fences.
/totes understandable
//what comes after the fence?.
///the fence humper

[img.fark.net image 432x352]


I couldn't figure out why my neighbor's kid keeps stealing our garbage but maybe you're onto something.

//And, no, the five adults living in their two bedroom condo do not make her take it back out.  It never comes back out.
 
OOF
2017-08-16 05:19:50 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 05:22:19 PM  
Oh you mean that kind of fence.
So, he wasn't selling stolen goods then.
 
2017-08-16 05:22:56 PM  
Ugg, he was just taking a leak and then she pulled out a farking camera, so he put on a show. Stupid, definitly,  but more immature than rapey.
 
2017-08-16 05:24:30 PM  
Put 'er there, neighbor!

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 05:24:37 PM  
Some people taking being on a fence way too seriously.
 
2017-08-16 05:28:29 PM  

ChromoSomes: hashtag.acronym: ChromoSomes: hashtag.acronym: [dlisted.com image 500x527]

That's offensive.

If fence posts carved into penises are offensive to you, please don't go to museums.  They have stone carved penises.

Thanks for the warning, but let me try this again: That's of-fence-ive.


I got it after posting, but since everyone else was spelling it in a pun-like manner, it went over my head at first.  I can smell dinner being cooked and it's distracting me.  Chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, biscuits, green beans.
 
2017-08-16 05:30:33 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 05:33:08 PM  

hashtag.acronym: [static.fjcdn.com image 600x426]


So thats what an Askavarian looks like...
 
2017-08-16 05:35:24 PM  

Kirablue42: baorao: [img.fark.net image 200x112]

I always thought that was the most unrealistic part of the special effects to that. There is no way the skeletal remains would have hung on or clung to the fence that long.


Thank You!  I've been thinking that for 25 years!
 
2017-08-16 05:42:53 PM  
Get a small scrape on your wang after farking a chain-link fence, then picket till it bleeds.
 
2017-08-16 05:45:35 PM  

21-7-b: kinky


I think you meant linky
 
2017-08-16 05:47:51 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


So the guy must have been a real square shooter....
 
2017-08-16 06:00:32 PM  

AquaTatanka: Kirablue42: baorao: [img.fark.net image 200x112]

I always thought that was the most unrealistic part of the special effects to that. There is no way the skeletal remains would have hung on or clung to the fence that long.

Thank You!  I've been thinking that for 25 years!


Yes, that is absolutely true, but the skeleton exploding back out of frame at a hundred miles a second wouldn't have had quite the visual impact that the filmed scene did.
 
2017-08-16 06:05:00 PM  

OOF: [img.fark.net image 504x282]


awesome f#cking movie, I never get tired of it.
You know how it's gonna end, and yet you're rooting for the guy the whole time.
The scene in the McDonalds is legendary.
 
2017-08-16 06:10:03 PM  

smed7: OOF: [img.fark.net image 504x282]

awesome f#cking movie, I never get tired of it.
You know how it's gonna end, and yet you're rooting for the guy the whole time.
The scene in the McDonalds Whammy Burger is legendary.

 
2017-08-16 06:49:16 PM  
So they were sending their best.
 
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