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(Fark)   Ok, tell the truth farkers, how many of you wake up b/w 3-6am for no reason and automatically find yourself checking Twitter? Bonus: You do this while you're still asleep?   ( fark.com) divider line
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535 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 15 Aug 2017 at 10:50 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-08-15 06:43:11 AM  
3:39am and BOOM telling his peeps that Governor Strange is sofaking boss, see him at 7:15 on Fox and Frenemies!!!

Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
Senator Luther Strange, who is doing a great job for the people of Alabama, will be on @foxandfriends at 7:15. Tough on crime, borders etc.

What's the love for this dude?  Is he the one that switched back to being a Republican after claiming D to get elected in the 1st place?  Ok back to watching for...new developments
 
2017-08-15 08:25:26 AM  
What is Twitter?
 
2017-08-15 09:00:11 AM  

BalugaJoe: What is Twitter?


Well you sir are missing out on "Deep Thoughts" from the one and only, Orange Hitler
 
2017-08-15 09:00:43 AM  
I often wake up between 3 and 6 AM and find myself using the shiatter. Sometimes I apparently do this while asleep.

Does that count?
 
2017-08-15 09:06:56 AM  
No.
Get some professional help, insanemitter
 
2017-08-15 10:08:49 AM  
If I don't drink any liquids after about 8 pm then no waking up until 6 am-ish or thereabouts. Check twitter? Are you highmitter? No farking way.
 
2017-08-15 10:37:19 AM  

BalugaJoe: What is Twitter?


It voted for Hillary.
 
2017-08-15 10:53:24 AM  
Twitter? No. Fark? Yes.
 
2017-08-15 10:57:34 AM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: I often wake up between 3 and 6 AM and find myself using the shiatter. Sometimes I apparently do this while asleep.

Does that count?


Only those times you actually get out of bed first.
 
2017-08-15 11:00:40 AM  
I don't use twitter.  The only bird I'm checking between 3 and 6 am is my own and it's for the purpose of aiming for the toilet.
 
2017-08-15 11:04:16 AM  
I have chronic insomnia.   Mostly due to meds.  Sometimes I snark on fark, sometimes I try and exercise to exhaustion (no, it doesn't work for insomnia), sometimes I zone out to crap movies / tv / htpc / twitch streams.

But wake up and check twitter?   No.   I don't even have a twitter account.   I do check on trumps sometimes.
 
2017-08-15 11:15:05 AM  
No. All the nos.  I don't wake up between 3 and 6am for SEXYTIME**, let alone some stupid social media.
 
2017-08-15 11:22:57 AM  
Ambien is a hell of a drug

i.imgur.com
 
2017-08-15 11:30:59 AM  
If I wake up in that time frame, it's usually to be grateful it's still dark out and roll over to go back to sleep.
 
2017-08-15 11:44:32 AM  

mama2tnt: That Guy What Stole the Bacon: I often wake up between 3 and 6 AM and find myself using the shiatter. Sometimes I apparently do this while asleep.

Does that count?

Only those times you actually get out of bed first.


I don't have a bedpan, so that would be all of the times.


Incidentally, my wife has taken to sleeping in a separate room. No idea why.
 
2017-08-15 12:26:40 PM  
What's Twitter?
 
2017-08-15 12:37:33 PM  
My job requires me to be in front of a computer for 9-10 hours a day, 5 days a week.  The last thing I'm going to do in the middle of the night is stare into a computer, handheld or otherwise.
 
2017-08-15 12:42:03 PM  
How the hell did subby know the pet name for my willy?  C'mon, Twitter, we're outta here.
 
2017-08-15 12:57:47 PM  
I barely check Twitter once a month. If I wake up in the middle of the night, it's to piss, not tweet.
 
2017-08-15 02:47:04 PM  

BalugaJoe: What is Twitter?


MasterAdkins: What's Twitter?


Twitter is a tool for people who think they are important (a tool for tools) and think that everyone wants to know how many bowel movements they have a day.

For some reason, there are actually people out there who care about the bowel movements of others (don't judge.)

Whoever gets the most people to read about their bowel movements wins.
 
2017-08-15 02:53:56 PM  

Keeve: BalugaJoe: What is Twitter?

MasterAdkins: What's Twitter?

Twitter is a tool for people who think they are important (a tool for tools) and think that everyone wants to know how many bowel movements they have a day.

For some reason, there are actually people out there who care about the bowel movements of others (don't judge.)

Whoever gets the most people to read about their bowel movements wins.


So, is here is where I say I had a bowel movement around 9:30 this morning?
 
2017-08-15 03:20:21 PM  

MasterAdkins: Keeve: BalugaJoe: What is Twitter?

MasterAdkins: What's Twitter?

Twitter is a tool for people who think they are important (a tool for tools) and think that everyone wants to know how many bowel movements they have a day.

For some reason, there are actually people out there who care about the bowel movements of others (don't judge.)

Whoever gets the most people to read about their bowel movements wins.

So, is here is where I say I had a bowel movement around 9:30 this morning?


Yes, yes it is.

But be warned that you are not likely to win unless you are actually famous in real life also. Apparently celebrity bowel movements are much more exciting than regular people bowel movements.*

I think maybe celebrity b.m.s are glittery or animal-shaped or something.

* double entendre unintended
 
2017-08-15 03:41:14 PM  

Keeve: MasterAdkins: Keeve: BalugaJoe: What is Twitter?

MasterAdkins: What's Twitter?

Twitter is a tool for people who think they are important (a tool for tools) and think that everyone wants to know how many bowel movements they have a day.

For some reason, there are actually people out there who care about the bowel movements of others (don't judge.)

Whoever gets the most people to read about their bowel movements wins.

So, is here is where I say I had a bowel movement around 9:30 this morning?

Yes, yes it is.

But be warned that you are not likely to win unless you are actually famous in real life also. Apparently celebrity bowel movements are much more exciting than regular people bowel movements.*

I think maybe celebrity b.m.s are glittery or animal-shaped or something.

* double entendre unintended


If a b.m.s. comes out glittery, or animal shaped consistently, you deserve to be twitter famous
 
2017-08-15 03:45:01 PM  

tdyak: Keeve: MasterAdkins: Keeve: BalugaJoe: What is Twitter?

MasterAdkins: What's Twitter?

Twitter is a tool for people who think they are important (a tool for tools) and think that everyone wants to know how many bowel movements they have a day.

For some reason, there are actually people out there who care about the bowel movements of others (don't judge.)

Whoever gets the most people to read about their bowel movements wins.

So, is here is where I say I had a bowel movement around 9:30 this morning?

Yes, yes it is.

But be warned that you are not likely to win unless you are actually famous in real life also. Apparently celebrity bowel movements are much more exciting than regular people bowel movements.*

I think maybe celebrity b.m.s are glittery or animal-shaped or something.

* double entendre unintended

If a b.m.s. comes out glittery, or animal shaped consistently, you deserve to be twitter famous


Does corn count? I have corn.
 
2017-08-15 05:27:10 PM  
I don't use Twitter but, I frequently wake up and check Fark.
 
2017-08-15 05:48:18 PM  
In my time zone, the Orange Menace usually hits the fan between midnight and 3 am. I'm a night owl, so I'm usually awake for it.

This is why I often can't get to sleep until 4, 6, or even 7 am.
 
2017-08-15 06:24:20 PM  
My name literally means dawn. Doesn't matter when I go to sleep, I'm up at 6am.
 
2017-08-15 08:58:02 PM  

cretinbob: No.
Get some professional help, insanemitter


You will have no entry in my disco boogie bomb shelter
 
2017-08-15 09:38:22 PM  

Keeve: Twitter is a tool for people who think they are important (a tool for tools) and think that everyone wants to know how many bowel movements they have a day.


Are there seriously still people who think this is what Twitter is all about?
 
2017-08-15 09:40:46 PM  

MasterAdkins: What's Twitter?


How dare you question the administration?  Take your arms away from the back of your head!  Quit resisting!  Quit resisting!
 
2017-08-15 10:01:43 PM  
I usually wake up at 3am, not by choice.  Some sort of need.  Yes, i am compelled to see what Trumps angle is that day.  International trade?  Eh.  Bashing random victims in his cabinet?  Unprofessional but not deadly.  It's the "WE HAVE DEPLOYED TWO NUCLEAR WARHEADS TO HIT NORTH KOREA IN 06:45.  I REPEAT, WE ARE GONNA NUKE THE HELL OUTTA THE NORKS.  NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR that I am waiting for

I figure by season two premiere.  Which will be preempted by "Profiles in Courage: Barack Obama", to which Trump will need to be psychically restrained at this point using force, Thorazine and Jell-O shots.  Champagne, of course
 
2017-08-15 10:02:44 PM  

Hollie Maea: Keeve: Twitter is a tool for people who think they are important (a tool for tools) and think that everyone wants to know how many bowel movements they have a day.

Are there seriously still people who think this is what Twitter is all about?


I do recall Twitter being quite instrumental for the Egyptians when they protested.
 
2017-08-15 10:04:07 PM  

mama2tnt: That Guy What Stole the Bacon: I often wake up between 3 and 6 AM and find myself using the shiatter. Sometimes I apparently do this while asleep.

Does that count?

Only those times you actually get out of bed first.


Thats klass.  I just pee the bed when I've downed a gallon of Popov
 
2017-08-16 09:32:48 AM  

Hollie Maea: Keeve: Twitter is a tool for people who think they are important (a tool for tools) and think that everyone wants to know how many bowel movements they have a day.

Are there seriously still people who think this is what Twitter is all about?


Well, to be honest,, that's what I think all social media is about.
 
2017-08-16 11:55:21 AM  
If I wake up at 3, that means I have a flight to catch.
 
2017-08-16 01:52:08 PM  
I wake up bc:

Have to pee
Back is screaming in pain
This morning at 2 with a 102 fever

/my life sucks
//that is all
 
2017-08-16 05:04:13 PM  

Keeve: Hollie Maea: Keeve: Twitter is a tool for people who think they are important (a tool for tools) and think that everyone wants to know how many bowel movements they have a day.

Are there seriously still people who think this is what Twitter is all about?

Well, to be honest,, that's what I think all social media is about.


Twitter is whatever you decide it to be. I used it as a curated news source. As such it is irreplaceable.
 
2017-08-16 06:15:21 PM  
This morning, I woke up at 3am and checked Facebook.  But I didn't post anything.

In my defense, I had flown across ten timezones just 24 hours prior, so I was heavily jet-lagged and having difficulty sleeping.
 
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