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(Guardian)   You're singing the wrong way   ( theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Singing, vocal cords, Opera, vocal cord, voice, Adele, Paglin, Brilla  
•       •       •

6557 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2017 at 5:29 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2017-08-12 05:52:16 PM  
20 votes:

FriarReb98: bingethinker: Anything I've heard her sing, it's like she's bellowing as loud as she can. Maybe back off a little. They have amplifiers now.

This was the argument my friend made a few days ago. She's a voice and piano teacher. I would add to it that it's so obvious how many little things she does wrong hi there because she wants to or hasn't been told not to.  I admit, I am sometimes guilty of the same, but I'm not out there making millions, just a couple of grand around Christmas time.


Hi there!
2017-08-12 05:37:46 PM  
18 votes:
I sing best solo. Solo no one can hear me.
2017-08-12 08:52:16 PM  
16 votes:
My friends always ask me to sing Tenor.... Tenor fifteen miles away...
2017-08-12 05:55:25 PM  
13 votes:

AstroJesus: Bel canto.


More like can belto
2017-08-12 06:18:35 PM  
9 votes:
Remember:

it should never hurt to sing or fart.
2017-08-12 07:10:34 PM  
8 votes:

RJReves:  Mercury, on the other hand, averaged a value of 0.57, meaning he was vibrating something in his throat even Pavarotti couldn't move.


There's a gay joke in there somewhere, but I'm not gonna be the one...
2017-08-12 06:16:28 PM  
8 votes:

FriarReb98: bingethinker: Anything I've heard her sing, it's like she's bellowing as loud as she can. Maybe back off a little. They have amplifiers now.

This was the argument my friend made a few days ago. She's a voice and piano teacher. I would add to it that it's so obvious how many little things she does wrong hi there because she wants to or hasn't been told not to.  I admit, I am sometimes guilty of the same, but I'm not out there making millions, just a couple of grand around Christmas time.


Do you know "Freebird"?
2017-08-12 06:03:41 PM  
7 votes:
Baby, baby, I know you don't  believe me but it really will make your throat feel better
2017-08-12 10:35:23 PM  
4 votes:
"What do mean, that's it? It's farking Stonehenge! Look at the diagram, it's supposed to be 18 meters tall!"
"It says 18mm."
"Right, 18 meters. This thing's so small I could bloody well swallow it. See?"

img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-08-13 01:15:07 PM  
3 votes:

cyberspacedout: ecmoRandomNumbers: feanorn: Could we at least start to get some singers who can properly enunciate? Mushmouth must be catching.

Concerts might be a challenge, but I've never understood why studio recordings are sometimes mixed in such a way as to make the vocals unintelligible.


Check the lyrics. The sound engineer might have been doing them a favour.
2017-08-12 09:45:25 PM  
3 votes:
As a karaoke host, I consider myself a leading authority on "singing the wrong way".

If I could sing as wrong as Adele, I wouldn't be a karaoke host.
2017-08-12 09:29:40 PM  
3 votes:

Smock Pot: Remember:

it should never hurt to sing or fart.


0.o

I'm in trouble...
2017-08-12 06:30:04 PM  
3 votes:

RJReves: I sing best solo. Solo no one can hear me.


With me it's more like baseball.  'Aannnd the pitch is low and outside'.
2017-08-12 05:47:33 PM  
3 votes:
ctrl + f: smoke

no matches

She smoked multiple cigarette packs a day for years. On top of that she didn't have training or discipline over her voice as it matured.

She is not a singer. She's a shouter pretending to be a singer.
2017-08-12 05:43:57 PM  
3 votes:
I'm not singing, and trust me, you don't want me singing.
2017-08-12 05:43:55 PM  
3 votes:
Oh, no doubt about that. Everything I do is wrong when I sing. Don't care, I'll strum louder to make up for it.
2017-08-12 05:15:38 PM  
3 votes:
Very Angry Cat
Youtube 1hPxGmTGarM
2017-08-13 06:45:47 AM  
2 votes:
Wow! I had no idea that a thread about singing would include the subject of Freddie Mercury's vibrator.
2017-08-12 06:50:39 PM  
2 votes:

brandent: weddingsinger: Don't make me pull this car over: Here's the paragraph you clicked to see.
[img.fark.net image 422x750]

The flip of that is when Harry Connick, Jr. was giving advice on American Idol and gave advice to stop... oversinging(?).  (picks up more on point at around 3:30)

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/-QKZ_xp4va0 - 480x270]

I guess I'd never thought about WHY I liked him other than he's cool and the music is good.  I had no idea he was ever involved with American Idol.  His advice of back off and sing the damn song that was written is amazingly simple and good advice.  I get so tired of all the various made up notes and runs in music but never quite had the words to know what to say about it.  What a great video.  Thanks for posting.  Now I know exactly why I hate Mariah Carey's singing.


Indeed.  As I think of this, it might be why I like his version of "Don't Get Around Much" over Nat King Cole's which sounds so much peppier and cleaner.

Found another clip with Connick trying to school Jennifer Lopez.

Harry Connick, Jr. Teaches Jennifer Lopez About Pentatonics
Youtube pH9l8KlcuBA
2017-08-12 06:23:46 PM  
2 votes:
So, The Loudness Wars, a capella?
2017-08-12 06:23:14 PM  
2 votes:
Singin' in the rain - Diction coach
Youtube q3OkXi5osfU
2017-08-12 05:38:52 PM  
2 votes:

FriarReb98: bingethinker: Anything I've heard her sing, it's like she's bellowing as loud as she can. Maybe back off a little. They have amplifiers now.

This was the argument my friend made a few days ago. She's a voice and piano teacher. I would add to it that it's so obvious how many little things she does wrong hi there because she wants to or hasn't been told not to.  I admit, I am sometimes guilty of the same, but I'm not out there making millions, just a couple of grand around Christmas time.


I'm convinced that mainstream music is bereft of anyone who knows what they are doing.
2017-08-12 05:33:43 PM  
2 votes:
WATASHIWA TOKI (Kemono Friends) - Japanese Crested Ibis
Youtube Wor6McbmGQA
2017-08-12 10:07:49 PM  
1 vote:
Not me.

Nodules on the vocal cords are from strain. I taught choir. I can speak in a large room for quite a while without amplification. I had a genius choral pedagogy professor in college. You need enough air behind your voice so you don't tense your vocal cords. Also, for the love of God and Christina Aguilera, don't sing out of your range and stay away from melisma. You sound a mess.
2017-08-12 06:47:28 PM  
1 vote:
I blew my voice out singing back at my stereo speakers in my Nirvana fanboy days.  Lost my upper range to a steroidal inhaler.  

Now I have a pretty good old timey blues voice that I use to decent effect with a mic.  Band broke up though.
2017-08-12 06:23:16 PM  
1 vote:

Smock Pot: Remember:

it should never hurt to sing or fart.


Frozen - "Let It Go" Parody - the BEST Fart version
Youtube 2gtpRgW6goE
2017-08-12 06:12:37 PM  
1 vote:
Oh hell, just sing the track and then we'll smear half a jar of Auto-tune all over it.  The rubes lap that sh*t up like whatever it is that people lap up.  Like pancakes.
2017-08-12 06:00:47 PM  
1 vote:
Here's the paragraph you clicked to see.
img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-08-12 05:50:48 PM  
1 vote:
He says we're singing the wrong way.

Oh, he's drunk.  How would he know how we're singing?

Going the Wrong Way - Planes, Trains & Automobiles (5/10) Movie CLIP (1987) HD
Youtube _akwHYMdbsM
stk [TotalFark]
2017-08-12 05:34:59 PM  
1 vote:
Steve Martin - Sex Jokes
Youtube 7VmtNntThPo
Obligatory and delightfully NSFW.
 
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