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(The New York Times)   Beach-spreading overtakes man-spreading as the latest Jersey Shore craze   ( nytimes.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, New Jersey, beach, annual family beach, Seaside Heights, POINT PLEASANT BEACH, jersey shore, foldable beach chairs, New Jersey shore  
•       •       •

8935 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2017 at 4:19 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2017-08-12 05:31:30 PM  
14 votes:
Yeah it's the hot new outrage, just started this year.

angelpig.netView Full Size
2017-08-12 04:45:31 PM  
13 votes:
Up next, jam-spreading.  I'm looking at you toast.
2017-08-12 02:35:41 PM  
13 votes:
Is this a Chris Christie thread?
2017-08-12 05:26:24 PM  
11 votes:
a.spirited.mediaView Full Size

/ next time just rent a dumpster
2017-08-12 04:51:51 PM  
11 votes:

Smoking GNU: WickerNipple: Is this a Chris Christie thread?

BLAAAARGH!

/bastard


quickmeme.comView Full Size
2017-08-12 04:47:03 PM  
11 votes:

WickerNipple: Is this a Chris Christie thread?


image.cagle.comView Full Size
2017-08-12 05:02:06 PM  
10 votes:

nicoffeine: People are enjoying themselves. Call the police.


Don't sit so
Don't sit so
Don't sit so close to me
2017-08-12 05:14:03 PM  
9 votes:

cloudofdust: Watubi: Meh, I bring a small canopy to the beach now, shades two comfortably.  I remember when I could spend the entire day at the beach with one application of spf 4 sunscreen and not get any change in color.  Nowadays, I'll get red just walking from the car to the beach.

My wife's family goes to the Jersey shore every summer and I guess we're part of the problem. There are 10 of us, all but my SIL of pasty Irish extraction. If we all go to the beach together we end up with five umbrellas lined up across the beach.

No music though. Only douchebags blast their music on the beach.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-08-12 05:27:14 PM  
8 votes:

Ow! That was my feelings!: Ow! That was my feelings!: Being from a mountain tribe, I've never gotten 'beach culture'.

Laying around getting skin cancer always seemed to be a waste of time to me.

Doing stuff, not so much.

Seriously. You pack up all your shiat, fight traffic and head to the beach already clogged with humanity..

And just lay there.

And that is 'relaxing' to you?

Ok. To each his own.


90% 0f us blacks agree. If I'm near a body of water just sitting there, it would be a rod and reel in my hands.
/I had a Polish ex who asked me "Why don't you come to the beach and tan with me?"
//I gave her a look that could crush a diamond
2017-08-12 04:48:18 PM  
5 votes:
The Dead Milkmen - Beach Song
Youtube 6KIVbsnW0is
2017-08-12 07:25:55 PM  
4 votes:
I hate the beach, but was there a couple weeks ago. I saw several of these canopies and my only two thoughts were, wish I thought of that and things might get interesting if the wind picks up.
2017-08-12 04:41:41 PM  
4 votes:
People are enjoying themselves. Call the police.
2017-08-12 05:32:07 PM  
3 votes:

nicoffeine: RJReves: WickerNipple: Is this a Chris Christie thread?

[image.cagle.com image 850x490]

Oh man, fat people are so funny.


You got offended by a Christie joke?
2017-08-12 05:30:51 PM  
3 votes:
These guys are pros. They practice all winter with chair-saving parking place, which is a gateway drug. Sad little lives, going "down the shore" for a day in the frickin' sun at a washed out crowded beach. The entire neighborhood travels together. So the parking space guard chair to keep the neighbor away -- it's the same neighbor who's at the shore, too, vying for more space.


img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-08-13 12:15:24 AM  
2 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size

They got it wrong. GTLB..Gym Tan Laundry Beating
2017-08-12 07:36:08 PM  
2 votes:

Shazam999: FormlessOne: Hey, this is what Americans want. They want to compete with each other at every possible social level, whether it's "my kid's dressed better than your kid at school" or "my beach toys are bigger and more garish than your beach toys" or "my truck's bigger and louder than your truck" and so on. They want to ignore social niceties like taking into consideration other people, or keeping the noise down to a reasonable level, or not blowing hookah smoke over half the beach, or not getting drunk and picking fights, or not setting up huge goddamned pavilions like they're Tudors vacationing on the Thames. They want to ignore authority and tell anyone who complains to "fark off," because they're loud, they're proud, and they're assholes. They have to be managed like farm animals, because if cops take their eyes off them, they're picking fights, pissing on the boardwalk, stealing shiat from each other, getting injured on the rocks, and drowning in the water.
They're the same folks that complain when the beach is covered in trash, broken glass, cigarette butts, and drug paraphernalia. They're the same folks that wonder why their taxes keep going up to cover the damage they do and the supervision they require. They're the same folks that make the tourists uneasy, then wonder why tourists don't want to show up any more. They're mystified when they discover that Jersey Shore town populations have been steadily shrinking for the last decade - some by 30% or more - because no one wants to live next to loud, obnoxious assholes happy to ruin their farking neighborhood because, hey, they don't live here and it's your job to pay for their assholiness.

You really need to get out more.  Maybe actually interact with other humans directly.


I am actually against him doing this. I do not want to interact with him.
2017-08-12 05:59:14 PM  
2 votes:

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Dead for Tax Reasons: Ow! That was my feelings!: Being from a mountain tribe, I've never gotten 'beach culture'.

Laying around getting skin cancer always seemed to be a waste of time to me.

Doing stuff, not so much.

people in the mountains seem to like hunting and fishing.  that seems excruciatingly boring to me.  to each their own

I like to fish at the beach.  I'm not sure whose side I'm on.


i've went fishing with my dad maybe a dozen times when i was a kid.  i managed to catch a sea robin, a 2 foot sand shark and an oarlock
2017-08-12 05:09:59 PM  
2 votes:

Ow! That was my feelings!: Being from a mountain tribe, I've never gotten 'beach culture'.

Laying around getting skin cancer always seemed to be a waste of time to me.

Doing stuff, not so much.


people in the mountains seem to like hunting and fishing.  that seems excruciatingly boring to me.  to each their own
2017-08-12 04:26:49 PM  
2 votes:

WickerNipple: Is this a Chris Christie thread?


BLAAAARGH!

/bastard
2017-08-12 09:41:10 PM  
1 vote:

Watubi: Meh, I bring a small canopy to the beach now, shades two comfortably.  I remember when I could spend the entire day at the beach with one application of spf 4 sunscreen and not get any change in color.  Nowadays, I'll get red just walking from the car to the beach.


I prep for sun season by CAREFULLY doing indoor tanning and building up, or rather damaging my skin enough to have some sun resistance.  I love diving and the rule is no sun screen while reef diving.

My wife spends an hour in the sun and she gets dark as hell.  Jealous.
2017-08-12 07:46:38 PM  
1 vote:

Shazam999: FormlessOne: Hey, this is what Americans want. They want to compete with each other at every possible social level, whether it's "my kid's dressed better than your kid at school" or "my beach toys are bigger and more garish than your beach toys" or "my truck's bigger and louder than your truck" and so on. They want to ignore social niceties like taking into consideration other people, or keeping the noise down to a reasonable level, or not blowing hookah smoke over half the beach, or not getting drunk and picking fights, or not setting up huge goddamned pavilions like they're Tudors vacationing on the Thames. They want to ignore authority and tell anyone who complains to "fark off," because they're loud, they're proud, and they're assholes. They have to be managed like farm animals, because if cops take their eyes off them, they're picking fights, pissing on the boardwalk, stealing shiat from each other, getting injured on the rocks, and drowning in the water.
They're the same folks that complain when the beach is covered in trash, broken glass, cigarette butts, and drug paraphernalia. They're the same folks that wonder why their taxes keep going up to cover the damage they do and the supervision they require. They're the same folks that make the tourists uneasy, then wonder why tourists don't want to show up any more. They're mystified when they discover that Jersey Shore town populations have been steadily shrinking for the last decade - some by 30% or more - because no one wants to live next to loud, obnoxious assholes happy to ruin their farking neighborhood because, hey, they don't live here and it's your job to pay for their assholiness.

You really need to get out more.  Maybe actually interact with other humans directly.


Speaking for other humans everywhere, no thanks, they can stay at home.
2017-08-12 07:37:01 PM  
1 vote:
Used to go to Water Country, got turned off by the yellow tint of the water and the brown stain behind kids in diapers...  did you know that if you are underwater, you can hear farts?  They sound different..
2017-08-12 07:02:15 PM  
1 vote:
It's the one place where you can just lay around being lazy and not be criticized because you are "working" on your tan.
2017-08-12 05:54:15 PM  
1 vote:

FormlessOne: Hey, this is what Americans want. They want to compete with each other at every possible social level, whether it's "my kid's dressed better than your kid at school" or "my beach toys are bigger and more garish than your beach toys" or "my truck's bigger and louder than your truck" and so on. They want to ignore social niceties like taking into consideration other people, or keeping the noise down to a reasonable level, or not blowing hookah smoke over half the beach, or not getting drunk and picking fights, or not setting up huge goddamned pavilions like they're Tudors vacationing on the Thames. They want to ignore authority and tell anyone who complains to "fark off," because they're loud, they're proud, and they're assholes. They have to be managed like farm animals, because if cops take their eyes off them, they're picking fights, pissing on the boardwalk, stealing shiat from each other, getting injured on the rocks, and drowning in the water.
They're the same folks that complain when the beach is covered in trash, broken glass, cigarette butts, and drug paraphernalia. They're the same folks that wonder why their taxes keep going up to cover the damage they do and the supervision they require. They're the same folks that make the tourists uneasy, then wonder why tourists don't want to show up any more. They're mystified when they discover that Jersey Shore town populations have been steadily shrinking for the last decade - some by 30% or more - because no one wants to live next to loud, obnoxious assholes happy to ruin their farking neighborhood because, hey, they don't live here and it's your job to pay for their assholiness.


You really need to get out more.  Maybe actually interact with other humans directly.
2017-08-12 05:52:34 PM  
1 vote:
Hey, this is what Americans want. They want to compete with each other at every possible social level, whether it's "my kid's dressed better than your kid at school" or "my beach toys are bigger and more garish than your beach toys" or "my truck's bigger and louder than your truck" and so on. They want to ignore social niceties like taking into consideration other people, or keeping the noise down to a reasonable level, or not blowing hookah smoke over half the beach, or not getting drunk and picking fights, or not setting up huge goddamned pavilions like they're Tudors vacationing on the Thames. They want to ignore authority and tell anyone who complains to "fark off," because they're loud, they're proud, and they're assholes. They have to be managed like farm animals, because if cops take their eyes off them, they're picking fights, pissing on the boardwalk, stealing shiat from each other, getting injured on the rocks, and drowning in the water.
They're the same folks that complain when the beach is covered in trash, broken glass, cigarette butts, and drug paraphernalia. They're the same folks that wonder why their taxes keep going up to cover the damage they do and the supervision they require. They're the same folks that make the tourists uneasy, then wonder why tourists don't want to show up any more. They're mystified when they discover that Jersey Shore town populations have been steadily shrinking for the last decade - some by 30% or more - because no one wants to live next to loud, obnoxious assholes happy to ruin their farking neighborhood because, hey, they don't live here and it's your job to pay for their assholiness.
2017-08-12 05:11:17 PM  
1 vote:
Is it a law in Jersey to get a trashy tattoo? Can't the photographer take pictures of normal people at the beach and not the extras from weeds?
2017-08-12 04:58:14 PM  
1 vote:

RJReves: WickerNipple: Is this a Chris Christie thread?

[image.cagle.com image 850x490]


Oh man, fat people are so funny.
2017-08-12 04:46:01 PM  
1 vote:
translation: A bunch of whiny entitled douches didn't get to the beach early enough and had to deal with all of the other people there. "OMG! OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO USE THE BEACH AT THE SAME TIME I DO! SOMEBODY SHOULD MAKE A LAW!"
if you want space, don't go to the touristy beaches. if you don't want other people, don't go to the touristy beaches. IF YOU WANT PRIVACY, DON'T GO TO A TOURISTY BEACH! there are 95,000 miles of coastline in the US. if their music is too loud, just move further down. The beach my girl and I go to is a state park around 16 miles from the big tourist beach nearby. it's never that crowded, the people are nice, and you don't have to deal with the bullshiat. "waaaahhhhhh, I'm on myrtle beach on july 4th and there are OTHER PEOPLE HERE!!!!!". plan better next time, asshole.
2017-08-12 04:31:59 PM  
1 vote:
I farking hate people that play music at the beach. No one wants to listen to your shiatty reggaeton

Listen to the waves, birds and children laughing like a civil person
 
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