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(Metro)   Woman's plan to sell her irritating husband on Facebook backfires spectacularly   ( metro.co.uk) divider line
    More: Amusing, Rob, Teresa, Humour, Comedy, Humor, deeply aggravating husband, Defence mechanism, local Facebook groups  
•       •       •

18286 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2017 at 8:02 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2017-08-12 08:21:53 PM  
20 votes:
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
2017-08-12 09:50:39 PM  
19 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-08-12 08:37:35 PM  
12 votes:
I learned from the Metro that my crotch has less spice than I anticipated. Crotch Charms, I already have two dangling on the inside, apparently that is not enough. Spice up your crotch with crotch charms today! Thanks Metro.
2017-08-12 09:30:23 PM  
9 votes:
weknowmemes.comView Full Size
2017-08-12 08:27:54 PM  
8 votes:
So threesome?
2017-08-12 08:11:30 PM  
8 votes:
I'm usually on a liquid diet, so.... I'd do her.

/drinking
2017-08-12 10:27:15 PM  
7 votes:
The Mrs. used to blow off a little steam by complaining about me to her friends. One evening she complained with me sitting there. Two of them offered to swap her their ex husbands.  Immediate and permanent change in her behavior.
2017-08-12 08:14:23 PM  
7 votes:
'I just found this video of a person crunching really loudly, and she told me to stop playing it,' said Rob. 'I just played it to her over and over again

So, you know that irritates the shiat out of her, but you do it anyway.  Some might see this as mental abuse, and it hurts some people as much as physical abuse.
2017-08-12 09:21:51 PM  
6 votes:

Your Dance Instructor: bingethinker: After reading the article, I think he can do way better than her. He's far too forgiving of her childish tantrums.

Bro, it's a joke.  It's funny.   How long you been married? I am on year 19 and we do crap like this to each other all the time


Today's my 17th anniversary.  Wife said the blessing over the food, and she included she was thankful for the first 17 years, and hopes to have many more.  After she was done, I said, "Well, there goes my parole hearing.  I was denied."  If you take yourself too serious, you're only going to become insufferable, then bye-bye marriage.  It's just as important to know when to stop teasing as well, and no one outside should decide when that is.
2017-08-12 08:48:58 PM  
6 votes:
He should have totally gone and banged 300 of those chicks and posted the video on facebook for his coont wife to see.
2017-08-13 12:57:04 AM  
5 votes:

aerojockey: There was a kid who sat at my lunch table who would quite deliberately chew loud just to annoy people.  I don't care about eating sounds but that guy annoyed the hell out of me.

I got him back when I started leaving specks of food on my face, and refusing to brush them off whenever he pointed them out.


Here's one to try.

Wear a shirt with a breast pocket and a light jacket over it. Get a spool of thread of a colour that will stand out against the jacket and a needle. Pull a bit of thread through the jacket, back to front near the pocket. Cut it, leaving a small bit of thread outside. Leave the rest of the thread on the spool. It will look like a bit of thread is stuck to your jacket. Drop the spool into your shirt pocket.

Now wait for someone to try to pluck the stray bit of thread off your jacket.
2017-08-12 10:02:51 PM  
5 votes:

MSBFDffpm: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

That's why we have discussions around our dinner table...it drowns out the munching.

/except where there's always one person who talks with her mouth full of food

*giggity*


That freaking Benefull commercial where the "dog" narrates while eating makes me want to punch the Pope.
2017-08-12 09:54:34 PM  
5 votes:

abhorrent1: Phelon Hardtimes: abhorrent1: Phelon Hardtimes: abhorrent1: Thong_of_Zardoz: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

Same here. Corn on the cob is especially troublesome for me.
I don't know that there's any particular food for me. It's chewing/smacking sounds, heavy breathing and especially swallowing noises.

If I see a commercial for like Gatorade or some other drink and they use glug glug swallowing sounds as they show them drinking it, it makes me want to stab a baby.

And if you scrape your teeth on your fork, I will farking set you on fire.

Don't worry. I'm sure everyone is more than happy to let you eat alone in a different room/zip code.

edgy

You don't even know what that means, do you?

Apparently not. From a movie I assume?


Yes, from the "Cutting Edge".  It's an Ice Skating movie the broke down barriers and won every movie award that year.  It starred Gary Busey and Amanda Bynes.
2017-08-12 09:43:38 PM  
5 votes:

abhorrent1: Thong_of_Zardoz: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

Same here. Corn on the cob is especially troublesome for me.
I don't know that there's any particular food for me. It's chewing/smacking sounds, heavy breathing and especially swallowing noises.

If I see a commercial for like Gatorade or some other drink and they use glug glug swallowing sounds as they show them drinking it, it makes me want to stab a baby.

And if you scrape your teeth on your fork, I will farking set you on fire.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-08-12 09:10:52 PM  
5 votes:

Hyjamon: "...house trained..."  I am sure referring to a spouse in the same manner as you would a dog would be perfectly acceptable if genders were reversed.


Shut up biatch I'm watching TV.
2017-08-12 08:13:05 PM  
4 votes:
Looks like a specimen of early bro culture.
2017-08-12 10:22:09 PM  
3 votes:
Don't mind me. I'm just here for the undeservedly smug, pseudo intellectual , liberal women.
2017-08-12 09:47:34 PM  
3 votes:

MSBFDffpm: Your Dance Instructor: bingethinker: After reading the article, I think he can do way better than her. He's far too forgiving of her childish tantrums.

Bro, it's a joke.  It's funny.   How long you been married? I am on year 19 and we do crap like this to each other all the time

THIS!

/going on 31 years
//still crazy after all these years
///Zero Burnout slashies


32 here...it helps to pinch the booty.
2017-08-12 09:41:21 PM  
3 votes:

abhorrent1: Thong_of_Zardoz: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

Same here. Corn on the cob is especially troublesome for me.
I don't know that there's any particular food for me. It's chewing/smacking sounds, heavy breathing and especially swallowing noises.

If I see a commercial for like Gatorade or some other drink and they use glug glug swallowing sounds as they show them drinking it, it makes me want to stab a baby.

And if you scrape your teeth on your fork, I will farking set you on fire.


Don't worry. I'm sure everyone is more than happy to let you eat alone in a different room/zip code.
2017-08-12 09:24:15 PM  
3 votes:

abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.


I have it as well and divorced over it. Well, that and I wanted sex and he wanted WoW.
But yes, I do have this and will stab a biatch.
2017-08-12 08:29:17 PM  
3 votes:
Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.
2017-08-13 08:55:31 AM  
2 votes:

Your Dance Instructor: ihateallofyou: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

I have it as well and divorced over it. Well, that and I wanted sex and he wanted WoW.
But yes, I do have this and will stab a biatch.

Ooohhh and just saw your pic.  You are much better looking than anything in WOW.  Actualky, you are WOW.  Hubba Hubba, Dayum, and all that !


Someone's thirsty. Damn son. Put your tongue back in your mouth.
2017-08-13 12:47:41 AM  
2 votes:
I read this whole article and the voice readi g it in my head for the whole thing was Ali G doing a bit part on coronation street.
2017-08-12 11:23:58 PM  
2 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-08-12 10:09:01 PM  
2 votes:

Spanky McStupid: MSBFDffpm: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

That's why we have discussions around our dinner table...it drowns out the munching.

/except where there's always one person who talks with her mouth full of food

*giggity*

That freaking Benefull commercial where the "dog" narrates while eating makes me want to punch the Pope.


OK...But Sinead gets first dibs!
2017-08-12 09:44:17 PM  
2 votes:

abhorrent1: Phelon Hardtimes: abhorrent1: Thong_of_Zardoz: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

Same here. Corn on the cob is especially troublesome for me.
I don't know that there's any particular food for me. It's chewing/smacking sounds, heavy breathing and especially swallowing noises.

If I see a commercial for like Gatorade or some other drink and they use glug glug swallowing sounds as they show them drinking it, it makes me want to stab a baby.

And if you scrape your teeth on your fork, I will farking set you on fire.

Don't worry. I'm sure everyone is more than happy to let you eat alone in a different room/zip code.

edgy


You don't even know what that means, do you?
2017-08-12 09:39:25 PM  
2 votes:

solokumba: Been FB free for a year and 7 months. Hi I'm Solokumba. Screw you bookers.


Signed up, got requests to play random games all day, and quit a few weeks in.

Signed up for Twitter last year, still haven't done the confirmation email

img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-08-12 08:22:30 PM  
2 votes:
I leave my docks on the floor to. Sure its ok it dirty kids clothes and undies get thrown in the hallway but god forbid my socks!!

Well I say my socks are just fine and I'll pick them up right now sorry dear please stop yelling at me.
2017-08-12 08:05:45 PM  
2 votes:
I'd leave that alone...

Meryl Streep of the Gangbang
Youtube RyYlBEZxmZg
2017-08-12 04:58:36 PM  
2 votes:
Is there any plan that involves posting on Facebook that *DOESN'T* backfire?
2017-08-13 01:47:06 PM  
1 vote:
I recall a female comedian talking about one of her young just-married friends complaining to her that her husband left the cap off the toothpaste etc.  She told her to suck it up and "come back when he's farking your sister and beating you."
2017-08-13 12:21:23 PM  
1 vote:

HanShotPreemptively: My wife and one of my daughters have misophonia. You understand it's a real thing when you see an otherwise tough 12 year old girl in tears holding her head because her sister is eating chips.

If she asked him to stop, and the husband continued, then he's being a abusive.


So if a guy asks his wife to stop nagging, and she continues, shall we assume that she is abusive, too?
2017-08-13 10:04:20 AM  
1 vote:

Your Dance Instructor: Unikitty: Your Dance Instructor: ihateallofyou: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

I have it as well and divorced over it. Well, that and I wanted sex and he wanted WoW.
But yes, I do have this and will stab a biatch.

Ooohhh and just saw your pic.  You are much better looking than anything in WOW.  Actualky, you are WOW.  Hubba Hubba, Dayum, and all that !

Someone's thirsty. Damn son. Put your tongue back in your mouth.

Broseph, this lady's ex picked WOW over the booty.   THE BOOTY.


Perhaps there's more to it than picking WOW...
2017-08-13 07:24:41 AM  
1 vote:

FizixJunkee: Thong_of_Zardoz: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

Same here. Corn on the cob is especially troublesome for me.


For me, it's any periodic sound, including ticking clocks and windshield wipers.  I have to keep some Ativan or Xanax on hand.


Wait a sec. The windshield wipers thing is legit. My husband forgets they are on and lets them screech. Why? Because he's talking! I have to reach over anf turn them off before they catch fire.
2017-08-13 02:11:46 AM  
1 vote:

abhorrent1: Thong_of_Zardoz: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

Same here. Corn on the cob is especially troublesome for me.
I don't know that there's any particular food for me. It's chewing/smacking sounds, heavy breathing and especially swallowing noises.

If I see a commercial for like Gatorade or some other drink and they use glug glug swallowing sounds as they show them drinking it, it makes me want to stab a baby.

And if you scrape your teeth on your fork, I will farking set you on fire.


So I guess messy oral sex is off the menu?...
2017-08-13 12:29:51 AM  
1 vote:
Grammar Police desperately needed here and there ..
2017-08-12 11:28:15 PM  
1 vote:
There was a kid who sat at my lunch table who would quite deliberately chew loud just to annoy people.  I don't care about eating sounds but that guy annoyed the hell out of me.

I got him back when I started leaving specks of food on my face, and refusing to brush them off whenever he pointed them out.
2017-08-12 11:05:25 PM  
1 vote:

basemetal: 'I just found this video of a person crunching really loudly, and she told me to stop playing it,' said Rob. 'I just played it to her over and over again

So, you know that irritates the shiat out of her, but you do it anyway.  Some might see this as mental abuse, and it hurts some people as much as physical abuse.


Bingo. And why the hell would you do that to someone you love? He's a ass. A great big giant ass.
2017-08-12 10:13:06 PM  
1 vote:

Alunan: I'd leave that alone...


Meryl Streep of the Gangbang
Youtube RyYlBEZxmZg


I don't remember that scene from X-Men Origins:  Wolverine.
2017-08-12 09:32:58 PM  
1 vote:

Thong_of_Zardoz: abhorrent1: Misophonia, if you didn't know, is a sensitivity to certain noises. Teresa can't handle listening to people eating loudly.

I totally have that. I CAN NOT stand eating sounds. I've had to get up from the table and leave the room to go eat my myself more times that I can remember. If we're at my house, I usually have a radio or TV on for some background noise, but sitting silently at a table listening to people eat makes me murdery.

Same here. Corn on the cob is especially troublesome for me.

I don't know that there's any particular food for me. It's chewing/smacking sounds, heavy breathing and especially swallowing noises.

If I see a commercial for like Gatorade or some other drink and they use glug glug swallowing sounds as they show them drinking it, it makes me want to stab a baby.

And if you scrape your teeth on your fork, I will farking set you on fire.
2017-08-12 09:27:50 PM  
1 vote:

dittybopper: Is there any plan that involves posting on Facebook that *DOESN'T* backfire?


Well, that's how I got my 2 adopted kittens from a woman who lives nearby, so yeah there are some.
2017-08-12 09:08:34 PM  
1 vote:
Been FB free for a year and 7 months. Hi I'm Solokumba. Screw you bookers.
2017-08-12 08:58:52 PM  
1 vote:
I liked the beachtail advertising on that site.
2017-08-12 08:43:22 PM  
1 vote:
People will take anything if its free.
2017-08-12 08:38:54 PM  
1 vote:

basemetal: 'I just found this video of a person crunching really loudly, and she told me to stop playing it,' said Rob. 'I just played it to her over and over again

So, you know that irritates the shiat out of her, but you do it anyway.  Some might see this as mental abuse, and it hurts some people as much as physical abuse.


Aw man.  It's called teasing.  How long you been married?   She cut up his soccer cleats so he couldn't play.   It's funny.
 
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