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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: A woman of 26 in my social circle was diagnosed with cancer. She needs help with meals and child care. But, she's a self-absorbed biatch and has alienated everyone, including me. I feel bad for the kids. Am I obligated to help?"   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, drunk driving, Parent, mental health, mom, Tom, Q. Wannabe mom, boyfriend, community volunteer project  
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900 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 25 Jul 2017 at 8:20 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-07-25 07:59:10 AM  
Is she voting for TrumpCare?
 
2017-07-25 08:02:38 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: Is she voting for TrumpCare?


Drew's Law: The longer a conversation goes on Fark.com the likelihood of Trump being brought up approaches 100%

/And to the article, no. No needa feel bad. The kids are probably little shiats like their mom.
 
2017-07-25 08:05:46 AM  
If you have 26 women in your social circle, you can probably afford to lose one
 
2017-07-25 08:26:10 AM  
no
 
2017-07-25 08:38:22 AM  
I hate when Dear Prudy letters sound like they could be real. It throws off my entire sense of how the internet works, kind of like when a Farker claims to be female.
 
2017-07-25 08:38:35 AM  

DammitIForgotMyLogin: If you have 26 women in your social circle, you can probably afford to lose one


Also from headline: 'She needs help with meals and child car.'

She sounds like an irresponsible parent, children should not drive.

/Subby, can you smell toast
 
2017-07-25 08:41:18 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: Is she voting for TrumpCare?


These days that seems to be the threshold at which self-annointed intellectually and morally superior people get to discard all pretenses of decency and indulge in the spiteful tribalism they claim to be above.
 
2017-07-25 08:45:02 AM  
Nobody is -obligated- to help someone. But, even if the woman with cancer is a complete asshole, it would be compassionate help her, assuming she's not getting help from others.
 
2017-07-25 08:48:36 AM  
This is a question better suited for Ask Ivan Drago.
 
2017-07-25 08:54:12 AM  
Help the kids; fark the biatch (and her dad).
 
2017-07-25 09:02:08 AM  
You will have to judge for yourself: are the kids little assholes like mom or are they just stuck in the middle? If they are just stuck then definitely help out.
 
2017-07-25 09:03:49 AM  

dionysusaur: Help the kids; fark the biatch (and her dad).


I'm sure her dad would very much appreciate that kind of help...
 
2017-07-25 09:12:43 AM  

dionysusaur: Help the kids; fark the biatch (and her dad).


Ditto- take the kids out for an afternoon.  Take them to the pool, go shopping for clothes, pick up some dinner they want.  They're under a ton of stress as well, she will probably really appreciate not having to worry about them for a while and being nice to them will fulfill all your karmic duties.

/Wife had cancer a while back
 
2017-07-25 09:16:01 AM  
She's dying. I'm inclined to overlook a person's shortcomings in that circumstance. Helping her through the most difficult period anybody can ever go through seems worth some effort.

Depends on how high compassion is on your to-do list, but nobody ever says, "I wish I hadn't been nice to her before she died."
 
2017-07-25 09:18:09 AM  

MrBallou: Depends on how high compassion is on your to-do list, but nobody ever says, "I wish I hadn't been nice to her before she died."


....welcome to Fark?
 
2017-07-25 09:21:23 AM  
Help her children.

If she's as self-absorbed as the letter writer describes her, she's paying the "whoa is me!" card for all it's worth.. and the children need an out from that, if only temporarily.
 
2017-07-25 09:22:25 AM  

MrBallou: Depends on how high compassion is on your to-do list, but nobody ever says, "I wish I hadn't been nice to her before she died."


No, I think I've heard that sentiment before.
 
2017-07-25 09:38:59 AM  

cman: OtherLittleGuy: Is she voting for TrumpCare?

Drew's Law: The longer a Every conversation that goes on Fark.com the likelihood of Trump being brought up approaches 100%

 
2017-07-25 09:57:31 AM  

GoldSpider: MrBallou: Depends on how high compassion is on your to-do list, but nobody ever says, "I wish I hadn't been nice to her before she died."

....welcome to Fark?


Yeah, there is a "fark the biatch" comment 4 posts up from mine. I don't expect it to be the last.

img.fark.net
 
2017-07-25 10:00:57 AM  

DammitIForgotMyLogin: If you have 26 women in your social circle, you can probably afford to lose one


Yeah, you can lose the C
 
2017-07-25 10:01:46 AM  
If she's horrible because she's in pain, or sick from meds that's one thing... if she's horrible because she's a biatch that's different. I would say something. Gently and constructively, but it's never too late for her to learn to behave.
 
2017-07-25 10:02:08 AM  

MrBallou: She's dying. I'm inclined to overlook a person's shortcomings in that circumstance. Helping her through the most difficult period anybody can ever go through seems worth some effort.

Depends on how high compassion is on your to-do list, but nobody ever says, "I wish I hadn't been nice to her before she died."


*Raises hand* I have.
 
2017-07-25 10:18:25 AM  
Is she rich and going to leave you a lot of money when she dies?
 
2017-07-25 10:30:54 AM  
I had a childhood friend who later became a real weirdo but I'd still keep in contact with him. At some point he vanished but later returned being as weird as ever, always telling stories of his accomplishments which could not have been true. At that point, I decided to not contact him again or return his calls. I heard from him years later and he wanted to see me but I didn't return his calls. Not long afterwards he died of cancer.

While I was still curious what all he had been up to over the years, I don't regret not returning his calls. There's a point at which I gave up on him.
 
2017-07-25 10:34:37 AM  

Fano: MrBallou: She's dying. I'm inclined to overlook a person's shortcomings in that circumstance. Helping her through the most difficult period anybody can ever go through seems worth some effort.

Depends on how high compassion is on your to-do list, but nobody ever says, "I wish I hadn't been nice to her before she died."

*Raises hand* I have.


OK, let's say rarely, instead of never.

I've done it, too. Some people are just a waste of a life, but I believe it demeans yourself to be cruel, even to somebody who deserves it.

I can think of a couple people whose funerals I will be very happy to attend someday, but I still wouldn't be mean to them while they were dying.
 
2017-07-25 11:30:03 AM  
"SHUT THE F*CK UP!!

img.fark.net

"If you weren't such a b*tch, we would feel sorry for you."


img.fark.net
 
2017-07-25 11:36:43 AM  

IgG4: no


No on is "Obligated" to help, but the woman claims she is being driven by a sense of compassion.   Newsflash honey:  if you are only doing it because the person is a friend of you like them, that ain't compassion, and it ain't even altruism.   Compassion comes from something  elemental-an empathy for others no matter WHO they are .  If you claim compassion as a motive, then the equation is simple:  they are in need, you are in a position to help, so you do.

She can help or not, as she chooses, but she can't pretend she is a good, compassionate person, if she only  decides  to help people she likes
 
2017-07-25 12:07:00 PM  

Some Bass Playing Guy: Nobody is -obligated- to help someone. But, even if the woman with cancer is a complete asshole, it would be compassionate help her, assuming she's not getting help from others.


Go check the "watch him drown" thread.  It should still be in the "last week" farkives.  Fark's required obligation seemed a bit higher at the time.
 
2017-07-25 12:12:24 PM  

GoldSpider: OtherLittleGuy: Is she voting for TrumpCare?

These days that seems to be the threshold at which self-annointed intellectually and morally superior people get to discard all pretenses of decency and indulge in the spiteful tribalism they claim to be above.


Spiteful tribalism. That is a superb turn of phrase. Can't wait to use it.
 
2017-07-25 12:16:26 PM  
If you view helping others as an obligation, GTFO.  You're the self-absorbed asshole.

You help people in your family, your social circle, even the world at large because you care about others.  It's pretty simple, that.
 
2017-07-25 12:19:25 PM  
Yes, it is the humane and Christian thing to do.
 
2017-07-25 01:11:22 PM  
I treat others based on how I'd want to be treated, and not on how they treat me.

/I get taken advantage of a lot
 
2017-07-25 01:24:58 PM  

MrBallou: Depends on how high compassion is on your to-do list, but nobody ever says, "I wish I hadn't been nice to her before she died."



No, they usually say something along the lines of "I wasted a lot of time on that biatch."
 
2017-07-25 01:25:41 PM  

cman: OtherLittleGuy: Is she voting for TrumpCare?

Drew's Law: The longer a conversation goes on Fark.com the likelihood of Trump being brought up approaches 100%

/And to the article, no. No needa feel bad. The kids are probably little shiats like their mom.


Its actually helpful for filling out my ignore list.  I have four headings:

Puts Trump in everything
Puts Hillary in everything
Puts Obama in everything
asshole

Its getting kinda lonely around here...
 
2017-07-25 01:39:09 PM  

Atomic Jonb: cman: OtherLittleGuy: Is she voting for TrumpCare?

Drew's Law: The longer a conversation goes on Fark.com the likelihood of Trump being brought up approaches 100%

/And to the article, no. No needa feel bad. The kids are probably little shiats like their mom.

Its actually helpful for filling out my ignore list.  I have four headings:

Puts Trump in everything
Puts Hillary in everything
Puts Obama in everything
asshole

Its getting kinda lonely around here...


I bash Trump all the time. Just in the Trump threads. Dont bring that shiat into other threads and ruin the experience for others is what I believe.
 
2017-07-25 02:16:03 PM  

cman: Atomic Jonb: cman: OtherLittleGuy: Is she voting for TrumpCare?

Drew's Law: The longer a conversation goes on Fark.com the likelihood of Trump being brought up approaches 100%

/And to the article, no. No needa feel bad. The kids are probably little shiats like their mom.

Its actually helpful for filling out my ignore list.  I have four headings:

Puts Trump in everything
Puts Hillary in everything
Puts Obama in everything
asshole

Its getting kinda lonely around here...

I bash Trump all the time. Just in the Trump threads. Dont bring that shiat into other threads and ruin the experience for others is what I believe.


And that's why I can still see your comments!  But there are a lot of people not as enlightened as you.
 
2017-07-25 02:48:15 PM  
Only morally, so it generally does not apply here.
 
2017-07-25 07:42:46 PM  

MrBallou: She's dying. I'm inclined to overlook a person's shortcomings in that circumstance. Helping her through the most difficult period anybody can ever go through seems worth some effort.

Depends on how high compassion is on your to-do list, but nobody ever says, "I wish I hadn't been nice to her before she died."


But see a lot of people survive cancer. That's the problem here. What if that biatch survives and you did all that nice shiat for her?
 
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