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(Stuff.co.nz)   There you are enjoying your beer, when suddenly ... dead lizard   ( stuff.co.nz) divider line
    More: Sick, Poison, decomposing Australian lizard, Metcalfe, little baby lizard, Donna Metcalfe, Pure Blonde, new hated pizza, Christchurch sportswear shop  
•       •       •

4318 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2017 at 11:21 PM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2017-07-24 05:21:46 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-07-24 05:42:59 PM  
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ya got your DEAD LIZARD
In the bottom of the glass...
 
2017-07-24 07:55:40 PM  

naughtyrev: [img.fark.net image 312x161]


aaaand we're done here
 
2017-07-24 07:56:50 PM  
Dead lizards do nothing suddenly.
 
2017-07-24 07:59:49 PM  
the Pure Blonde beverage had been bottled across the ditch.

WAT
 
2017-07-24 08:15:02 PM  

fusillade762: the Pure Blonde beverage had been bottled across the ditch.

WAT

"I'm waiting for the poisoning to kick in."



WAT
 
2017-07-24 08:30:56 PM  
Alas poor Larry. I knew him, Horatio...
 
2017-07-24 08:33:28 PM  
They REALLY hate Geico down there, don't they?
 
2017-07-24 08:56:24 PM  

mama2tnt: fusillade762: the Pure Blonde beverage had been bottled across the ditch.

WAT

"I'm waiting for the poisoning to kick in."


WAT


"Across the ditch": The beer was made in Australia
"I'm waiting for the poisoning to kick in": Everything in Australia is trying to kill you, so it's a reasonable reaction.
 
2017-07-24 09:00:11 PM  
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Dead lizard king of beers?
 
2017-07-24 11:24:17 PM  
Rat, Mouse, Lizard...
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-07-24 11:24:52 PM  
awardsdaily.comView Full Size
 
2017-07-24 11:28:42 PM  
Picks lizard out, violently hits it on its back, "spit it out, ya bastard!!!"
 
2017-07-24 11:30:02 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-07-24 11:36:14 PM  
You see, the alcohol preserves the lizard. The idea is that by the time you reach the bottom of the bottle, you're already so plastered that eating the lizard seems like a good idea.
 
2017-07-24 11:36:14 PM  
"Dehd leezahd: New Zeelahd for bee-ah."
 
2017-07-24 11:40:13 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: You see, the alcohol preserves the lizard. The idea is that by the time you reach the bottom of the bottle, you're already so plastered that eating the lizard seems like a good idea.


You're thinking of cheap 80 proof mezcal + worm. 12 ounces (minus the mass of the lizard) of kiwi Budweiser ain't gettin nobody drunk enough to nom rotting reptile.
 
2017-07-24 11:49:29 PM  
It's still better than that Foster's goat piss.
 
2017-07-24 11:49:29 PM  

AckAckAck: AverageAmericanGuy: You see, the alcohol preserves the lizard. The idea is that by the time you reach the bottom of the bottle, you're already so plastered that eating the lizard seems like a good idea.

You're thinking of cheap 80 proof mezcal + worm. 12 ounces (minus the mass of the lizard) of kiwi Budweiser ain't gettin nobody drunk enough to nom rotting reptile.


That's why it comes in cases.
 
2017-07-24 11:52:36 PM  
I personally think most of the people who find weird disgusting things in their food and beverage containers to be fraudsters who faked the entire thing.  That said, how you determine who is a fraudster, and who actually legitimately found a lizard in their beer is a question whose answer I do not know.
 
2017-07-24 11:54:34 PM  
Funny, I was thinking about the slang term "gotta go drain the lizard",maybe because my prostate is the size of a medium sized plum.  But I digress.
 
2017-07-25 12:01:27 AM  
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2017-07-25 12:02:37 AM  
It happens to a lot of guys when they drink that much.
 
2017-07-25 12:03:28 AM  
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2017-07-25 12:06:11 AM  

winedrinkingman: I personally think most of the people who find weird disgusting things in their food and beverage containers to be fraudsters who faked the entire thing.  That said, how you determine who is a fraudster, and who actually legitimately found a lizard in their beer is a question whose answer I do not know.


The person who actually finds one is the person who says "ahhh, goddammit" and gets a fresh beer, throws out the lizardy one, and no one ever hears about it.
 
2017-07-25 12:09:40 AM  
You're not supposed to drink the lizard.
 
2017-07-25 12:19:20 AM  

Raoul Eaton: winedrinkingman: I personally think most of the people who find weird disgusting things in their food and beverage containers to be fraudsters who faked the entire thing.  That said, how you determine who is a fraudster, and who actually legitimately found a lizard in their beer is a question whose answer I do not know.

The person who actually finds one is the person who says "ahhh, goddammit" and gets a fresh beer, throws out the lizardy one, and no one ever hears about it.


You are probably right about that, but in the back of my mind is always the question about "what if they are telling the truth?" because I have seen enough big businesses lie, cheat, and cut corners, that it wouldn't really surprise me if this kind of thing happened from time to time.
 
2017-07-25 12:20:59 AM  
Better than a dead Izzard.
 
2017-07-25 12:26:34 AM  
These hipster micro-brews are getting farking weird.
 
2017-07-25 12:30:44 AM  
I thought that's normal for Australian beer. You know, like how there's a worm in tequila bottles? Hmm, I learn something new everyday. Thank you fark!
 
2017-07-25 12:32:43 AM  

bearded clamorer: [img.fark.net image 566x616]

Dead lizard king of beers?


I didn't realize Morrison was still alive in 2013.
 
2017-07-25 12:38:24 AM  
iwaspoisoneddotcalm
 
2017-07-25 12:40:50 AM  

Biledriver: Better than a dead Izzard.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-07-25 12:48:31 AM  
It's not quite a slug in a bottle of ginger beer, but close enough.
 
2017-07-25 12:52:03 AM  

fusillade762: the Pure Blonde beverage had been bottled across the ditch.

WAT


"Across the ditch" means over the Tasman Sea. Much as "over the pond" means across the Atlantic.
 
2017-07-25 12:54:26 AM  
I refer to that as a flavor enhancer. Call yourself lucky and gypsies charge for that.
 
2017-07-25 12:58:50 AM  
In Florida that appears intentional.
 
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2017-07-25 01:01:02 AM  

berylman: I refer to that as a flavor enhancer. Call yourself lucky and gypsies charge for that.


And hey - free lizard!
 
2017-07-25 01:05:54 AM  
 
2017-07-25 01:17:00 AM  

doglover: AckAckAck: AverageAmericanGuy: You see, the alcohol preserves the lizard. The idea is that by the time you reach the bottom of the bottle, you're already so plastered that eating the lizard seems like a good idea.

You're thinking of cheap 80 proof mezcal + worm. 12 ounces (minus the mass of the lizard) of kiwi Budweiser ain't gettin nobody drunk enough to nom rotting reptile.

That's why it comes in cases.


Then it sounds like you need to drink that beer on a case by case basis. And just in case, you should always have an extra case on hand for those special case scenarios where five cases is just not enough.
After all that, you might have a case for the beginnings of a buzz.

/Caaaaaaaaaase
 
2017-07-25 01:18:16 AM  
That harkens me back to the time I was in Tijuana eating BBQ Iguana.
 
2017-07-25 01:19:25 AM  

Harry_Seldon: That harkens me back to the time I was in Tijuana eating BBQ Iguana.


What was on the radio?
 
2017-07-25 01:22:45 AM  
Was it also a broken lizard?

static1.squarespace.comView Full Size
 
2017-07-25 01:33:19 AM  
One lizard never ends
One lizard never began
It keeps me standing still
It takes all my will
And then suddenly
Dead lizard


THE MOTELS SUDDENLY LAST SUMMER (HD)
Youtube hBgpA1_SzXI
 
2017-07-25 01:47:57 AM  

frostus: Harry_Seldon: That harkens me back to the time I was in Tijuana eating BBQ Iguana.

What was on the radio?


I couldn't understand a word of it.
 
2017-07-25 02:01:43 AM  

Harry_Seldon: frostus: Harry_Seldon: That harkens me back to the time I was in Tijuana eating BBQ Iguana.

What was on the radio?

I couldn't understand a word of it.


Whoa-oh
 
2017-07-25 02:40:27 AM  

fusillade762: the Pure Blonde beverage had been bottled across the ditch.

WAT


We'll, you've heard of ditch-weed, right?
 
2017-07-25 02:54:50 AM  
Au get a  Vera . I kill PepsA my Gond.
 
2017-07-25 03:04:16 AM  
This is stupid, if she wanted a live lizard she should have told them. A bit extra that way, but got to give 'em what they want.
 
2017-07-25 04:33:18 AM  
Am I a bad person for hoping she actually got poisoned after reading her b*tch through the whole thing?
 
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