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(Reuters)   Kabul golf course reopens. Hitting a land mine is a two-stroke penalty   (story.news.yahoo.com ) divider line
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6212 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 May 2004 at 12:00 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



110 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2004-05-24 12:03:23 PM  
golf carts equpiied with RPG's.


booo yah!
 
2004-05-24 12:03:54 PM  
What's the penalty for hitting an Iraqi prisoner?
 
2004-05-24 12:04:06 PM  
I heard the sand traps were HUUUGE.
 
2004-05-24 12:04:40 PM  
Fooooooooooor Alllah!!!!!!
stroke penalties on the green traps?
 
2004-05-24 12:05:00 PM  
Da yi dian gao er fu qiu?

.
 
2004-05-24 12:06:06 PM  
Hitting a land mine is a two-stroke penalty.

I have to disagree. I would think you would get a two clublength drop from the crater, with no stroke penalty. Kind of like winter rules...
 
2004-05-24 12:06:17 PM  
I guess I'll try the wedge.
 
2004-05-24 12:07:22 PM  
Watch out for Osama's bunker.
 
2004-05-24 12:07:48 PM  
Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. THE LITTLE BROWN, FURRY RODENTS.
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
 
2004-05-24 12:08:51 PM  
The last thing Afghanistan needs is a golf course. It is an arid country and any water diverted for irrigation should go to crops, not fat-heads playing a silly game invented where it rains two days out of three.

The same thing goes for Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, California...

/a desert rat who hates to see water wasted
 
2004-05-24 12:08:56 PM  
"Hitting a land mine is a two-stroke penalty."

Somebody's been watching too much M.A.S.H.
 
2004-05-24 12:10:06 PM  
No Mulluhgans allowed, right Omar?
 
2004-05-24 12:10:22 PM  
skikvt - I would think you would get a two clublength drop from the crater, with no stroke penalty

I guess you have to do that since the nearest point of relief no closer to the hole is probably in India.
 
2004-05-24 12:11:07 PM  
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that there aren't going to be any beer carts on this here course.
 
2004-05-24 12:12:17 PM  
No Ugly, but i'm sure there are plenty of limbs in and around the course.
 
2004-05-24 12:12:19 PM  
What's the average Afghan handicap? 8, maybe 9 handicap or worse no arm or no leg?
 
2004-05-24 12:13:07 PM  
Fore...more years!

/ Ducks and covers
 
2004-05-24 12:13:10 PM  
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
 
2004-05-24 12:13:34 PM  
I realize that this course is only a 9-holer, but being Afghanistan, what good is golf without beer?
 
2004-05-24 12:13:44 PM  
Where's the halfway house? Cuba?
 
2004-05-24 12:15:15 PM  
skinink beat me to it, per usual, so I'll just say cue the Kenny Loggins!
 
2004-05-24 12:15:19 PM  
A club membership is....$60!?!?!

I've easily paid 4 times that for a single ROUND of golf.


canyoneer
The same thing goes for Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, California...

Hey, Afghanistan is one thing, but there's a lot of good golf in Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, and especially California.
 
2004-05-24 12:15:39 PM  
Those taliban guys the article mentioned seem like a rough group. Someone should do something about their reign.
 
2004-05-24 12:16:18 PM  
DistendedPendulusFrenulum

wo bu yao, wo tai lan, lei le.
 
2004-05-24 12:16:34 PM  
Yeah, it's not so bad, but you have to pay a toll to the warlord who controls the back 9.
 
2004-05-24 12:16:37 PM  
Overlord: "What's the penalty for hitting an Iraqi prisoner?"

Give the man a skip shot.

/giggling as I slurp my Hi-C.
 
2004-05-24 12:17:34 PM  
hey Cayoneer

you're right! golf courses don't belong in the desert. neither do people. move to the city and drink crappy
water like the rest of us.
 
2004-05-24 12:20:01 PM  
So a smoking bomb crater is considered ground under repair?
 
2004-05-24 12:20:49 PM  
2004-05-24 12:20:01 PM culturemock


So a smoking bomb crater is considered ground under repair?


Sounds about right.
 
2004-05-24 12:21:05 PM  
Improve your lie!

/winter rules
 
2004-05-24 12:21:10 PM  
The next thing that will happen is that Coyote will try some hairbrained scheme to lure the roadrunner onto the landmine.

DistendedPendulusFrenulum

What are you saying? It looks like Klingon or Al Bhed, or Greek to me...
 
2004-05-24 12:22:19 PM  
2004-05-24 12:15:19 PM HomerSamson113: That's right, and there shouldn't be any. Water is too scarce out here to be wasted on such frivolous, silly pursuits.

I presume you're from wetter climes and have absolutely no clue about what scarce water really means.

People are starving in Afghanistan, and this nimrod wants to piss water away on a golf course?!?
 
2004-05-24 12:23:12 PM  
The Beer Cart girl wears a Burqa.
 
2004-05-24 12:23:31 PM  
Celebratory gunfire on the greens is frowned upon.
 
2004-05-24 12:24:00 PM  
Hitting a land mine is a two-stroke penalty.

I have to disagree. I would think you would get a two clublength drop from the crater, with no stroke penalty. Kind of like winter rules...



See, the only way that would work is if you couldn't find the ball. C'mon, you might get another 100 yards out of landmine detonation and a better lie.
 
2004-05-24 12:25:24 PM  
So instead of wasting water on the opium fields, they are now wasting it on golf courses....i think that's an improvement!
 
2004-05-24 12:25:35 PM  
What they're not telling you is that the ball is actually a rats head.
 
2004-05-24 12:25:36 PM  
canyoneer: Golf course, Prision, School; what's the difference? Westernize Democratize that shiat!
 
2004-05-24 12:26:55 PM  
I thought you could only improve your lie in the rough if you could roughly prove you weren't lying.
 
2004-05-24 12:27:06 PM  
[image from portal.telegraph.co.uk too old to be available]


I am gonna start giving my caddie a machine gun..
 
2004-05-24 12:28:34 PM  
The_Boob

that cracked me up, thanks.
 
2004-05-24 12:29:16 PM  
"Oh Mrs. Crane...you're a little monkey woman..."

[image from sportsmed.starwave.com too old to be available]
 
2004-05-24 12:29:29 PM  
those aren't golfer, they're terrorists!
 
2004-05-24 12:29:47 PM  
2004-05-24 12:22:19 PM canyoneer


2004-05-24 12:15:19 PM HomerSamson113: That's right, and there shouldn't be any. Water is too scarce out here to be wasted on such frivolous, silly pursuits.

I presume you're from wetter climes and have absolutely no clue about what scarce water really means.

People are starving in Afghanistan, and this nimrod wants to piss water away on a golf course?!?

***************

Actually,

A golf course makes a great spray field for waste-water percolation. Makes the grass grow nice, and provides a cheap, simple method for waste-water treatment.

Just saying.

Moose
 
2004-05-24 12:31:10 PM  
2004-05-24 12:17:34 PM mtbmike: Actually, you would just happen to be 100% wrong on that, fella. Pick up a history book, and you'll find that the first civilizations were all located in desert river valleys, crops were irrigated, and they didn't waste their water on golf courses. Of course, the despotic rulers would waste water on ornamental gardens, but that wasn't too smart, either. I guess people haven't progressed much since then.

Civilization existed for thousands of years in deserts before the savages in the dripping wet forests learned to wipe their asses. Then they learned just about everything else from desert people.

BTW, most paleontological evidence suggests humans and their ancestors evolved in and inhabited arid and semi-arid climates. Habitation of wetter environments is relatively recent.
 
2004-05-24 12:31:37 PM  
If I were a hater of the Great Satan, and I saw some Americans playing the ninth at Kabul, I think I would be inclinded to shoot a hole in one.
 
2004-05-24 12:33:23 PM  
2004-05-24 12:31:10 PM canyoneer: Well, how many of those first civilization are still around...or have the perished?
 
2004-05-24 12:33:38 PM  
canyoneer:

Makes sense. It's hard to get malaria in the desert.
 
2004-05-24 12:34:21 PM  
HanShotFirst

HAHHAHAHAAA!!!!
 
2004-05-24 12:34:41 PM  
Yeah, it's all fun and games until some wiseass terrorist fills the ball with nitroglycerin...
 
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