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(Some Guy)   How to behave like an American, a short illustrated guide for the rest of the world   ( divider line
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

11538 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2002 at 12:28 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

319 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-01-11 06:43:49 AM  

Don't you remember Scots are tight with their money .. so it probably saves him money going to the red lights.
2002-01-11 06:45:39 AM  
finally a website i can use as ammo if an american says g'day or mate MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
2002-01-11 06:45:41 AM  
No I just find that the 3 I have on the go now are somehow not enough

Must be the brcing cold weather ( ;)
2002-01-11 06:50:09 AM  
Hey, did you guys see the little dance troupe I got together over the Iraq issue last night? I was really quite proud of myself.
2002-01-11 06:50:55 AM  
Lets have a look.
2002-01-11 06:51:44 AM  
Goatboy90210: Would my stiff dick pressed into the small of your back have enough thrust? I could take it further, if not. Just lemme know.
2002-01-11 06:53:10 AM  
Lench: G'doi, moit. (How do you like my accent?)
2002-01-11 06:53:33 AM  

Funny I have just had a quick flick ...... throught the Iraq comments ... seems you had a lot of fun last night.
2002-01-11 06:54:37 AM  
Hytes Xian: Judging by your posts, very probably not.
2002-01-11 06:55:04 AM  
Hytes Xian

Goatman666 prefers monks .. something to do with his spiritual side (?) and polished floors!
2002-01-11 06:58:52 AM  
Ransom: It's great, eh? Did you see the massive formulaic recount of The Grinch towards the end by B.f.d.? I was really pleased.

As for the monks and the polished floors, you can never beat a uniform, they say...
2002-01-11 06:59:20 AM  
I'm no monk. Sorry Goat. I thought we had something.
2002-01-11 07:00:48 AM  
I think you still do, Hytes.
2002-01-11 07:01:28 AM  
I like the way I got mentioned all the time without ever actually being there.
2002-01-11 07:01:31 AM  
As in?
2002-01-11 07:03:10 AM  
Harmonia: You are an institution on Fark, I believe. A bit like Unpopular Commie Troll, but mentally adept and informed.
2002-01-11 07:03:22 AM  
Hytes , you can be as bad as your detractors sometimes.
2002-01-11 07:04:11 AM  
WOW! He was such an institution his name gets filtered! Sorry Harmonia, but you are clearly not even close to him yet, then.
2002-01-11 07:04:33 AM  
How do you mean?
2002-01-11 07:04:40 AM  

And here was me thinking that I was universally loved!

I've not even been here ywo months yet.
2002-01-11 07:06:44 AM  
"01-11-02 06:51:44 AM Hytes Xian
Goatboy90210: Would my stiff dick pressed into the small of your back have enough thrust? I could take it further, if not. Just lemme know."

If that was a guy harrasing a woman like that we would flame him mercilessly.

Still, your life, your party as they say.
2002-01-11 07:11:04 AM  
You're absolutely right, Harmonia.
My apologies Goatman.

I'm very new to the net, and the opportunity to act like a badass, or like any type of idiot, without consequences is just too hard to pass up.

Turns out there are consequences though. I creep myself out.
2002-01-11 07:11:32 AM  
2002-01-11 07:12:35 AM  
That's what I mean. I once worked with a gay dude who was great until he got pissed, and then he came over all lecherous and stupid. He'd say things like "I'm going to go over and sit next to Chris, 'cos he's got such a great arse. I'd soo like to shag him but he'd never let me..."

I mean, for fark's sake, shut up. Talk like that is not big, clever or open, it's just sad and cheap.
2002-01-11 07:14:34 AM  
Yep, in any persuasion.
2002-01-11 07:14:41 AM  
I can understand it in a way, one way to get to homophobics is to be more and more camp, and I've seen it done by gay friends to great effect.

So wind up the bigots, fine, but we are not all small-minded idiots (present company excepted obviously) ;)
2002-01-11 07:15:05 AM  
Hytes Xian: You are a rare breed indeed, sir. Someone who backs down on Fark is like a rare thing - very rare.
2002-01-11 07:15:50 AM  
Im off for a nice hot lunch

see you this afternoon, when no doubt the Merkins will be here and we can all get good and argumentative!

2002-01-11 07:16:13 AM  
I like to see myself as more of a bigoted sadistic pervert, but at least I try to justify it.
2002-01-11 07:19:43 AM  
Hytes Xian
2002-01-11 07:21:23 AM  
Hey. I'm here to have fun, but I gotta keep it real sometimes, and I don't go around in life picking fights and getting sadistic kicks outta flaunting. I'm really making an inspected effort with this new (for me) arena of socializing. It's very, very weird.
2002-01-11 07:23:19 AM  
Oi thawt yewd loik thot, moit.
2002-01-11 07:23:29 AM  
Hytes: It is pretty mad. Just keep a check on it and remember it's only a message board. I found myself Farking for 1/2 an hour after work once, and suddenly remembered I have a social life as well.

But it is pretty mad, eh?
2002-01-11 07:30:07 AM  
Goatman264: Yeah, when I first came here I lurked, as many do. I was immediately struck by the incredible aggression that you just don't see in standard meeting places. Of course that wasn't all I saw, but it was probably the most disturbing.

Low and behold a few weeks later, after getting a little comfortable, getting together a little posse, I suddenly one day find myself engaged in that crap. And it's addictive. So thanks for the tip.
2002-01-11 07:36:18 AM  
The aggression is quite odd. I like it when I get threatened or, in one case, someone told me they were better looking than me, which was funny.

But there are also a lot of very funny, witty and very switched on people here, and it's funny seeing the Stupids smashing into them.
2002-01-11 07:44:21 AM  
One of the things that tickles me is how a name that was very present will

My inauguration was the other day when Dave Thomas died and I made a comment that I knew wouldn't be popular but that I felt needed to be said. Whoa! There was so much hate thrown at me. It was really hard figuring out how to handle it. On the one hand, it's just text on a monitor. On the other hand, there are really people mad at me (though I think some just pretend), but, what's anyone going to do? Hate my name? Well, even that I don't want.

You know? There's a lot to think about there, first time out especially. Then, I started dishing it back with my special bite, saying things for no other reason than to whip the frenzy.
2002-01-11 07:47:42 AM  
That first sentence? It isn't there.
2002-01-11 07:50:20 AM  
Yeah, I thought that about the first sentence. Weird. Check this out - I think it's pretty accurate

"This is our town, this is Friday night
Dressed in our rags and our rage and our best
Piercing eyes looking for something - anything, anyone.
Stare across the floor as they begin to dance
Missing all the rhythms and the chosen right steps
And we laugh and we drink in our corner again
We're better than them
Divided we were born, divided we live
Divided we fall, divided we die
Still we tell ourselves over and over again
We're better than them
With our hunger and our hatred, we all walk this town
With our fear and our weakness - just holding on
With our doubt and our emptiness and this cold, cold frown
We've got to be so important, we'll put the whole damn world down
And we build the walls that we can hide behind
And our finest weapon is our poisoned pride
Here in this town where the jealousies burn
We're watching you
'Cause truth is only what we need it to be
To bring us survival through each and every day
When nowhere is safe and nowhere is home - just be cool
And what was she wearing and what did he say?
Who goes with who and what did they do?
We tell ourselves over and over again
We're better than them , we're not like them"

2002-01-11 07:58:02 AM  
Where is everybody?
2002-01-11 07:58:08 AM  
Aw, that hurts. That's very beautifully done. What a ball of pain, eh? Where's it from? Who are Sullivan/Morrow?
2002-01-11 08:00:16 AM  
Hytes Xian

Probably monks .. or terrorist huggers
2002-01-11 08:04:16 AM  
What are you doing, RansomTheBall?
2002-01-11 08:05:05 AM  
This article is so wrong. I totally got slapped last night pulling out the waist of a girls pants to check out her crack.
2002-01-11 08:05:36 AM  
anything requiring only one hand probably
2002-01-11 08:06:43 AM  
previous ppost was an answer to Hytes Xian's question
2002-01-11 08:09:43 AM  
Hytes Xian

Try to work and fark at the same time.
2002-01-11 08:12:11 AM  

Where's your Karate?
2002-01-11 08:14:18 AM  
You can only do that to cartoon girls. And only if you're a cartoon. Silly human!
2002-01-11 08:16:33 AM  
You make me feel like a little boy.
2002-01-11 08:16:35 AM  
HX: Ah, so that is why I fractured my skull when I had that anvil drop on me (instead of just making little birds fly around my head). It is all coming back to me now.
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