Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Fark Open House: Today's listing is a 7400sf, five-bedroom beauty with interior decor by a tea shop lady on acid (click through gallery for increasing insanity)   ( har.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Rooms, room, Jones Creek, family room, hardwood floors, game room, formal living room, garage apartment  
•       •       •

15726 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jul 2017 at 7:50 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



164 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-07-17 05:10:21 AM  
Welcome to Fark Open House.
This is some nutbar decor, so we thought it might be fun to caption the various rooms for the realtor. What's going on in this room? What did the designer have in mind? Why is there a smurf painting in the middle of all that?
So have at it farkers.
 
2017-07-17 05:10:03 PM  
0_o


Someone is really into store mannequins, and not in a good way.
 
2017-07-17 05:26:45 PM  
img.fark.netJudging by the agents caption, I think they're smirking along with us.
 
2017-07-17 05:32:04 PM  
Some may say eccentric, I say serial killer. Where's the woman suit?
 
2017-07-17 05:32:48 PM  
Also, what the hell is with the child mannequins on the ceiling?
 
2017-07-17 05:37:41 PM  
"Unfortunately the art goes with the artist"
2 thoughts-
1- THANK GOD
2- HOW??? Unless they bring in dumpsters and just chuck it all in those, it will take months to pack up all that stuff.
 
2017-07-17 05:38:47 PM  
What's the over/under on number of full sized moving trucks needed to clear out that house?  I'm thinking 4 trucks.
 
2017-07-17 06:02:52 PM  
Could you image packing that house up to move? And for that matter, how would you unpack all of that?
"No, no, that child mannequin does in the study, silly, not the TV room..."
 
2017-07-17 06:07:25 PM  
Can you imagine the poor realtor trying to explain that "overwhelming creepiness" is not the feeling that you want to instill in potential buyers? No amount of fresh-baked cookies is going to make this place feel like home.
 
2017-07-17 06:08:54 PM  
I want to be rich enough one day to enjoy my insanity as thoroughly as this lady.
 
2017-07-17 07:42:45 PM  
If one decorative pillow is good, 45 are better.
 
2017-07-17 07:44:13 PM  

Biscuit Tin: Can you imagine the poor realtor trying to explain that "overwhelming creepiness" is not the feeling that you want to instill in potential buyers? No amount of fresh-baked cookies is going to make this place feel like home.


Unless your potential buyers are circus folk. Then again, probably not a big circus folk customer base for $1.2 million dollar homes.
 
2017-07-17 07:45:32 PM  
The Downstairs bedroom with Dr. Who scarf and Captain America stained glass shield is a cosplayers dream
 
2017-07-17 07:47:55 PM  
Oh good.  I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice the mannequins.

There is a point where all the money in the world can't turn crazy into eccentric.  This is one off those times.
 
2017-07-17 07:53:21 PM  

dumbandilikeit: What's the over/under on number of full sized moving trucks needed to clear out that house?  I'm thinking 4 trucks.


If I was the clearing out the place I'd contract with a garbage company to bring in several of their largest garbage trucks and have them compact the crap out of all that creepy stuff.
 
2017-07-17 07:54:38 PM  
img.fark.net

And when he's on the other side:

img.fark.net
 
2017-07-17 07:55:52 PM  
The mannequins give it a Sims like quality.
 
2017-07-17 07:57:55 PM  
Is this what it looks like when you combine hoarding and obsessive organization?
 
2017-07-17 07:59:06 PM  

Anastacya: Also, what the hell is with the child mannequins on the ceiling?


s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2017-07-17 07:59:25 PM  
i am more impressed by the fact that everything looks so clean. with all that shiat everywhere it must be a pain in the ass
 
2017-07-17 08:00:04 PM  
That's.... that's a lot of stuff.
 
2017-07-17 08:00:36 PM  
Is that a painting of skulls on the wall of stair well in the third picture?
 
2017-07-17 08:00:40 PM  
I'll be on the porch playing air hockey...
 
2017-07-17 08:00:54 PM  
I bet every single one of those mannequins has a name and backstory.

Also

Markoff_Cheney: I want to be rich enough one day to enjoy my insanity as thoroughly as this lady.


THIS
 
2017-07-17 08:01:09 PM  

Running Wild: Is this what it looks like when you combine hoarding and obsessive organization?


No, this is "artiste" with money.  Think about the boho chick in art appreciation class your first year of college.  Jump forward twenty years after she landed her doctor/lawyer/engineer husband.
 
2017-07-17 08:02:26 PM  
I will be putting my Denver Platte Park 'craftsman cottage' up for sale soon. 2 blocks off Pearl, 6 blocks from light rail.

img.fark.net
 
2017-07-17 08:02:33 PM  
"Don't worry. This comes with a pool net" or some such shiat. Yeah, thank goodness. I know when I'm looking for a 1.3 million dollar property, I care about a $20 glorified fishing net.

/beautiful house
//the arrow on the wall messed me up more than anything else
///threesies slashies
 
2017-07-17 08:04:25 PM  
Texas must be a freaking pit.
That place would go for 4x in my neighborhood.
 
2017-07-17 08:05:23 PM  
i.ytimg.com
 
2017-07-17 08:06:55 PM  
Geez!! Hoarding for the wealthy!!

I kept trying to imagine the house without all of that clutter, which is how a buyer would get it, but had to take a grateful break on the images of the lawns (and muddy creek) to settle my eyes and stomach.

I wonder if the agent told them/him/her that a sale would probably have a better chance if the place was cleaned up a tad. Meaning, throw a lot of that shiat in storage so buyers could at least see the walls.

From what I could tell, the house itself is nice. The muddy creek is not so nice. All of the dummies stationed around the place are just creepy. The acreage is OK along with the sloped lawn. I did like the out door entertainment room.

However, I figure that 70% of prospective buyers will take one look at the cluttered interiors and just look elsewhere. I mean, looking through that place is hard.
 
2017-07-17 08:08:09 PM  
Join us next week, on our newest episode of "Hoarders...."
 
2017-07-17 08:09:37 PM  
It reminds me of a house I attended a party at back in the nineties.

"It just goes to show you can spend 100 grand at K-mart."
 
2017-07-17 08:11:02 PM  
I'd quit my job and start an ebay business just so I could see the floors again. Holy shart.
 
2017-07-17 08:11:17 PM  

cherryl taggart: Running Wild: Is this what it looks like when you combine hoarding and obsessive organization?

No, this is "artiste" with money.  Think about the boho chick in art appreciation class your first year of college.  Jump forward twenty years after she landed her doctor/lawyer/engineer husband.


These interiors scream "ex husband told his attorney 'give the biatch whatever she wants in alimony, just as long as the decree includes a provision that all alimony ends  the minute she ever tries contact me directly or comes within 100 yards of me."
 
2017-07-17 08:12:06 PM  
A lot of tchotchkes in there.
 
2017-07-17 08:12:27 PM  

Anastacya: Also, what the hell is with the child mannequins on the ceiling?


Where do you put your child mannequins?
 
2017-07-17 08:12:35 PM  

farrrrrt: [img.fark.net image 543x364]

And when he's on the other side:

[img.fark.net image 500x278]


i7.photobucket.com
 
2017-07-17 08:12:43 PM  
All of it seems quite well-maintained, if gawd awful. That is, until you get to the overgrown outdoor kitchen. Could they not at least remove the dead plants? Or is there some agoraphobia issue?
 
2017-07-17 08:12:58 PM  
Ya...I'm going with pet cemetery level of body count somewhere under that $300,000 slab and
"engineered" slope..
 
2017-07-17 08:13:37 PM  

Rik01: Geez!! Hoarding for the wealthy!!

I kept trying to imagine the house without all of that clutter, which is how a buyer would get it, but had to take a grateful break on the images of the lawns (and muddy creek) to settle my eyes and stomach.

I wonder if the agent told them/him/her that a sale would probably have a better chance if the place was cleaned up a tad. Meaning, throw a lot of that shiat in storage so buyers could at least see the walls.

From what I could tell, the house itself is nice. The muddy creek is not so nice. All of the dummies stationed around the place are just creepy. The acreage is OK along with the sloped lawn. I did like the out door entertainment room.

However, I figure that 70% of prospective buyers will take one look at the cluttered interiors and just look elsewhere. I mean, looking through that place is hard.


I'd offer a bonus if it closed on time and she wasn't at the closing.
 
2017-07-17 08:13:54 PM  
She's about 2 steps away from being a hoarder.
 
2017-07-17 08:14:23 PM  

Zevon's Evil Twin: It reminds me of a house I attended a party at back in the nineties.

"It just goes to show you can spend 100 grand at K-mart."


That guys apartment that was the party/concert venue and violated all kinds of codes and burned down....in San Francisco maybe
 
2017-07-17 08:14:34 PM  

Driedsponge: Anastacya: Also, what the hell is with the child mannequins on the ceiling?

[s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 560x450]


Well.

I'll be sleeping soundly tonight...
 
2017-07-17 08:14:44 PM  

Running Wild: Is this what it looks like when you combine hoarding and obsessive organization?


My stepmother is someone with both. Two 4 bedroom houses, their attics, garages, porches and closets packed very neatly with stuff. All of the tables have tablecloths and items are stacked underneath.

Imagine the house in TFA with lots more, crafty-tacky stuff. I'll have to take weeks off work to deal with it when she passes.

I think that's why I'm a minimalist with objects.
 
2017-07-17 08:14:55 PM  
Rather than sell the house, slap $300 stickers on everything and call it an Antiques warehouse.
 
2017-07-17 08:15:03 PM  

Anastacya: Also, what the hell is with the child mannequins on the ceiling?


Kids these days are off the wall.
 
2017-07-17 08:16:53 PM  
I dunno....

That $300 annual maintenance fee seems kinda steep. I'll have to sleep on it.

That, and my gold and diamond encrusted sheets made from virgin alpaca wool.
 
2017-07-17 08:17:10 PM  
Single family asylum! Some staircases don't go anywhere!

Hear those bells coming from the attic? The sound is free but you don't get to keep the bells... because there aren't any! It's just a sound that comes from there!

And that creek is pretty. But when there's a drought, you can see the bones. Those come with the property as well!

Do you see that kid riding a tricycle on the ceiling? Unfortunately, you're the only one who does!

The only down payment we need is half your soul! You can pay us the other half monthly in tiny pieces over the next 30 years!

The pool boy is a leprechaun! The maid is a harpy!

The cowboy at the bar can keep you company. But only on the weekends. During the week, he's out mutilating cattle and putting the blame on UFOs!

Is that shiplap? No, it's reclaimed wood from the actual hull of the Mary Celeste!

Buy it today! This one won't stay in our dimension for long!
 
2017-07-17 08:18:49 PM  
While we don't know any of the details on the seller, I can guarantee this is a woman who lives alone.
 
2017-07-17 08:19:34 PM  
Yeah.

That's one of those houses where they put up a bet of $10,000 that you can't spend the night in it without sprinting out of the house screaming bloody murder.
 
Displayed 50 of 164 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report