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(The Raw Story)   Creationists mock flat-earthers as idiots, say Bible isn't to be taken literally   ( rawstory.com) divider line
    More: Ironic, flat earth, Torah, Religious text, Book of Genesis, Biblical canon, Friendly Atheist blog, Tanakh, scientists Georgia Purdom  
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7157 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jul 2017 at 5:20 PM (21 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-07-17 03:54:31 PM  
I assume they're referring to the bit in OT where it was apparently possible to see the four corners of the Earth if you were high enough up a mountain.

Which of course is a perfectly sensible thing for a pre-literate society peasant to believe -.

But a little bit troublesome if you're trying to tell us the Bible written/dictated by a perfect, all-knowing creator.

I await Ken Ham's response with great interest
 
2017-07-17 03:56:36 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2017-07-17 03:59:03 PM  
"For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.
 
2017-07-17 04:04:50 PM  
"So nobody believes the bible is completely literal", until being literal supports a pet belief and pushes their narrative. You know, like with the gays, or the age of the Earth, or how women should be subservient, or...

Christ, I can't write it all out because it would take too damn long.
 
2017-07-17 04:21:40 PM  

i45.tinypic.comView Full Size

 
2017-07-17 04:26:48 PM  
Catholics never taught the young earth creationist view. That idea came from fundemental Protestants who decided they didn't need no stinking experts telling them what the Bible "stories" meant. Any person could read the Word and catch the meaning. It was a trap they created themselves, and now cannot escape.
 
2017-07-17 04:28:19 PM  

naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.


Those were speed holes.
 
2017-07-17 04:33:06 PM  
Are you saying the flat earthers got caught flat footed?
 
2017-07-17 04:36:32 PM  
Faulkner blamed atheists for inspiring the flat earth movement, whose adherents denigrate the majority as "globe heads."

Oh, go fark yourself.
 
2017-07-17 04:40:48 PM  
educatetruth.comView Full Size
 
2017-07-17 04:42:03 PM  

Anastacya: "So nobody believes the bible is completely literal", until being literal supports a pet belief and pushes their narrative. You know, like with the gays, or the age of the Earth, or how women should be subservient, or...

Christ, I can't write it all out because it would take too damn long.


It's literal when it supports their desires and biases.  It's not meant to be literal when it contradicts them.

Think of it in Trumpese -- if it favors him it's accurate/the best that ever existed/great/beautiful.  If it doesn't then it's fake/wrong/unfair.

You just have to be thoroughly intellectually dishonest and hypocritical.  THEN it all starts to make sense.
 
2017-07-17 04:50:32 PM  
Young Earth creationism is entirely based on Biblical literalism. For Answers in Genesis, it's in the f*cking name.
 
2017-07-17 05:04:43 PM  
WAT?
 
2017-07-17 05:11:53 PM  

edmo: [www.educatetruth.com image 500x1355]


No. The earth is flat. So that shadow on the first turtle should just be a line.
 
2017-07-17 05:23:01 PM  
My response to both parties:
img.fark.netView Full Size


Why yes, I have found a way to feel superior.
 
2017-07-17 05:23:23 PM  
Take it up with Eratosthenes, flatheads.
 
2017-07-17 05:23:31 PM  
pics.me.meView Full Size
 
2017-07-17 05:23:44 PM  
titaniumteddybear.netView Full Size
 
2017-07-17 05:27:18 PM  

Diogenes: It's literal when it supports their desires and biases.  It's not meant to be literal when it contradicts them.


It's a terrible thing when carefully constructed fantasy world views collide.
 
2017-07-17 05:27:36 PM  

naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.


I'm going to market a Jesus on the cross 'door knocker'.
 
2017-07-17 05:28:26 PM  
Holy SHIAT!!!  All these idiot morons, I mean "Flat Earthers," have to do is buy a frickin GoPro and a helium balloon and film it!  They'll see the curvature of the earth!  Done, over, finished, now shut up!!!
 
2017-07-17 05:28:42 PM  

naughtyrev: Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.


You don't "mount" a door.  You hang it.
 
2017-07-17 05:28:48 PM  

naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-07-17 05:28:56 PM  
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-07-17 05:30:14 PM  
Of course, the only sensible way to handle this is by waging holy war and cleansing the heretics with fire.

It's what Jesus wants.
 
2017-07-17 05:32:14 PM  

naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.


Well, he did have built-in knob.

On the other hand, he was clearly unhinged...
 
2017-07-17 05:32:16 PM  
All this edginess is making my OHSA rep nervous.
 
2017-07-17 05:32:22 PM  

cowgirl toffee: [s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 426x427]


It's almost like gravitic attraction has mass somewhere in the formula....
 
2017-07-17 05:33:23 PM  
Looks like Mitch McConnell's kids just got a new job.

edmo:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-07-17 05:33:24 PM  

ko_kyi: naughtyrev: Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.

You don't "mount" a door.  You hang it.


Don't tell me what to do with my doors
 
2017-07-17 05:33:28 PM  
The Earth is clearly flat.  The Bible says Jesus ascended into heaven, but it would not be possible for this to happen if the Earth was NOT flat.  If that were the case, the Bible would say that Jesus flew sideways into heaven.  These Creationists shall burn in Hell for their blasphemy!!!!!
 
2017-07-17 05:33:45 PM  
Aside from a vanishingly small number of true mendicant monks, all self-described Christians take a smorgasbord approach.

Ooh, I like this bit, but that bit looks yucky so I'll skip it.

"You still lack one thing: Sell everything you own and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me."
 
2017-07-17 05:34:46 PM  

Dave2042: Aside from a vanishingly small number of true mendicant monks, all self-described Christians take a smorgasbord approach.

Ooh, I like this bit, but that bit looks yucky so I'll skip it.

"You still lack one thing: Sell everything you own and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me."


Seeing as the Bible was compiled the same way, that shouldn't surprise us.
 
2017-07-17 05:35:07 PM  

grokca: naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.

Those were speed holes.


Careful guys, let's not start a holey war.
 
2017-07-17 05:35:39 PM  

grokca: naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.

Those were speed holes.


Imagine the whistling noise if he rode a motorcycle.
 
2017-07-17 05:37:25 PM  
If the Earth was flat, Noah's ark would've fallen off of it during the flood.
This proves that the world is round
 
2017-07-17 05:38:04 PM  
It would be pretty funny if this flat-earth shiat was just a long con to engage fundamentalists in an inane argument that taints both sides.
 
2017-07-17 05:38:21 PM  

Soccerhead: If the Earth was flat, Noah's ark would've fallen off of it during the flood.
This proves that the world is round


Maybe that's why they can't find the ark now.
 
2017-07-17 05:39:32 PM  

naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.


Mounted?
Phrasing!
 
2017-07-17 05:40:54 PM  

ehahn: Holy SHIAT!!!  All these idiot morons, I mean "Flat Earthers," have to do is buy a frickin GoPro and a helium balloon and film it!  They'll see the curvature of the earth!  Done, over, finished, now shut up!!!


The demo for Kerbal Space Program is free.
 
2017-07-17 05:40:54 PM  

Barfmaker: grokca: naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.

Those were speed holes.

Imagine the whistling noise if he rode a motorcycle.


popkey.coView Full Size


Maybe Bubb Rubb could help Jesus lighten things up with some whistle tips?

/aisle seat please
 
2017-07-17 05:41:17 PM  

ko_kyi: naughtyrev: Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.

You don't "mount" a door.  You hang it.


What you do in your bedroom is up to you.
 
2017-07-17 05:42:24 PM  

ehahn: Holy SHIAT!!!  All these idiot morons, I mean "Flat Earthers," have to do is buy a frickin GoPro and a helium balloon and film it!  They'll see the curvature of the earth!  Done, over, finished, now shut up!!!

That's just fish-eye lens distortion, don'cha know.
 
2017-07-17 05:43:45 PM  

CoysOdie: naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.

I'm going to market a Jesus on the cross 'door knocker'.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-07-17 05:43:45 PM  

cowgirl toffee: [s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 426x427]


In case someone actually makes that argument
 
2017-07-17 05:44:44 PM  

Soccerhead: If the Earth was flat, Noah's ark would've fallen off of it during the flood.
This proves that the world is round


... Just like The Crimson Permanent Assurance ...
 
2017-07-17 05:45:00 PM  
Explain the criticality of nachash
 
2017-07-17 05:45:24 PM  

dv-ous: ko_kyi: naughtyrev: Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.

You don't "mount" a door.  You hang it.

What you do in your bedroom is up to you.


That brings new meaning to the phrase, "behind closed doors."
 
2017-07-17 05:46:49 PM  

naughtyrev: "For instance, Jesus said, 'I am the door,'" Faulkner said. "Well, did he have hinges? Did he have a latch on it? Did he have a handle? Of course not. We understand that it's not a literal door. So nobody really believes that the Bible's completely literal."

Well, he had the holes drilled. Maybe he was going to be mounted as a door.


A 6000 year old door would look different to our modern eyes,
 
2017-07-17 05:47:38 PM  

Soccerhead: If the Earth was flat, Noah's ark would've fallen off of it during the flood.
This proves that the world is round


Do not blaspheme God's pool liner, that holds all the worlds oceans in.
 
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