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(Washington Post)   Five myths about Fark's favorite state   ( washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Myth No., Florida, South Florida, Miami, Southern United States, real estate, part-time Florida Man, Prove South Florida  
•       •       •

4756 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jul 2017 at 2:08 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-07-15 11:19:00 AM  
Sixth myth is this guy knows what he's talking about. Been long in the schlong for over forty years, and this article is full of shiat.
 
2017-07-15 11:23:55 AM  
My supply of f*cks has been depleted by Trump new lately, so I'm going to pass on this one.

Really, it's a place, with people living there. Snark on them if you want, from your place, with people living there.
 
2017-07-15 11:28:40 AM  
nonsense. neptune beach is actually the former home of the greek sea god. they still have the pointy castle and everything
 
2017-07-15 11:44:44 AM  

MrBallou: My supply of f*cks has been depleted by Trump new lately, so I'm going to pass on this one.

Really, it's a place, with people living there. Snark on them if you want, from your place, with people living there.


To me it will always be a place where some relatives live.  Also there's something about a mouse or something that the kid loves.
 
2017-07-15 12:25:57 PM  
We seem to throw around words like "favorite" like they have some morphing definition.
 
2017-07-15 02:15:14 PM  
Who ever thought Florida is ready for a big hurricane?
 
2017-07-15 02:28:19 PM  

Russ1642: Who ever thought Florida is ready for a big hurricane?


They're a hell of a lot more ready now than pre-Andrew.

I lived in Florida from 1985 to 2007.  It had it's fair share of weird and having lived on both FL coasts as well as central and South Florida I can say South Florida is a planet of its own.

These days I live in Georgia a few miles from lots of people and a few miles from the sticks.  I love it.
 
2017-07-15 02:28:29 PM  
Native Floridian here. IMHO the issues with Florida really the fault of all the transplants. That said, Florida can be blamed for not having a fence to keep out all the northern undesirables. Come to Florida and spend all you money except for enough to get you back to wherever you came from. We don't need y'all moving here anymore.
 
2017-07-15 02:42:44 PM  

Cewley: Sixth myth is this guy knows what he's talking about. Been long in the schlong for over forty years, and this article is full of shiat.


Seventh myth is that Florida is full of morons morans. Idiots, maybe. Dumbasses, certainly...but morons morans?

Oh, who the fark am I kidding...

/it was funnier in my head
 
2017-07-15 02:59:54 PM  
Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.
 
2017-07-15 03:27:24 PM  
Fark Florida.

That is all.

/ex-Floridian
 
2017-07-15 03:29:28 PM  

Psychette: Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.


You met Donald Trump? CSS.
 
2017-07-15 03:33:20 PM  

baronbloodbath: Fark Florida.That is all. /ex-Floridian


Well, Bye.

Psychette: Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.


Enough about your mom.

SoFlaNative52: Native Floridian here. IMHO the issues with Florida really the fault of all the transplants. That said, Florida can be blamed for not having a fence to keep out all the northern undesirables. Come to Florida and spend all you money except for enough to get you back to wherever you came from. We don't need y'all moving here anymore.


Farkin'-A, Bubba. This to 11.
 
2017-07-15 03:40:02 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-07-15 03:43:38 PM  

StrikitRich: baronbloodbath: Fark Florida.That is all. /ex-Floridian

Well, Bye.

Psychette: Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.

Enough about your mom.

SoFlaNative52: Native Floridian here. IMHO the issues with Florida really the fault of all the transplants. That said, Florida can be blamed for not having a fence to keep out all the northern undesirables. Come to Florida and spend all you money except for enough to get you back to wherever you came from. We don't need y'all moving here anymore.

Farkin'-A, Bubba. This to 11.


Fark all y'all.  I just moved to Florida from Pa., and my neighbors on one side are from Connecticut and the other side Massachusetts.  We're taking over.
 
2017-07-15 03:48:25 PM  
Ya'll got stopped by the 'subscribe' block too. Didn't you?

Having lived in Florida since I was two years old, I can say it was a great place in the 50's and 60's but sometime in the 70's all hell broke loose and people from the northern states started moving down like like a plague of Locusts. They brought with them a mass of developers who promptly ruined every pristine acre they could buy, inflated prices to astronomical highs and crowded thousands of new folks into cities whose infrastructures were not designed to handle the population boom.

Along with them came a host of their problems, a huge criminal element, dramatic illegal drug increases, major pollution, packed traffic on roads and an irritable population along with the weird and crazy and down right nuts.

Actually, I haven't met a real Floridian in decades.
 
2017-07-15 04:15:20 PM  

Psychette: Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.


I wasn't aware I had a sibling. So how IS mother these days? Is she still gold digging in the Orange orchards?

FTA: "One can find defenses of individual cities (for example, Jacksonville)

No. No you can't. Jacksuckvile is every bit as much a shiat hole as Odessa Texas, just with more trees and slightly less Mexicans.
 
2017-07-15 04:17:52 PM  
fark the florabama.   Those bastards cant put in a gotdamned crosswalk bridge.   Even though it farks up traffic and you have to make sure some drunk bastard doesn't walk out in front of you while you are driving.  Do I sound bitter?  I am.  3 close calls so far this year.
 
2017-07-15 04:29:40 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-07-15 04:32:32 PM  

Psychette: Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.


Please come back to Florida, babe! <<sniff>> I promise I'll change!!
 
2017-07-15 04:42:21 PM  
I was visiting people there last fall. They tell me that cities around the Treasure Coast had tried to attract tech industry businesses in recent years, and failed. I'm guessing much of the existing tech crowd wouldn't want to move to what's basically suburban sprawl in the middle of nowhere, and recently graduated techies entering the workforce would know that they'd have more job prospects out of state.

We also spent some time on one of the barrier islands. There were a few high rise apartment buildings right by the water, which I'm told went for fairly high prices. Then I stepped out onto the beach, and noticed the water level was barely a few feet lower than the ground on the rest of the island. I get the feeling that a rising sea level will eventually make those apartments worthless, if hurricanes don't damage the buildings too much before it happens.
 
2017-07-15 05:00:45 PM  
Myth FACT No. 1Florida is a cultural wasteland.
 Myth FACT No. 2Florida is separate from the Deep South.
Myth No. 4Floridians are impossibly divided along political lines.
Because 99% of the population supports Trump.
 
FNG [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2017-07-15 05:09:49 PM  
A girl I was flirty with in HS moved to Florida at some point, and when I was about 30 she contacted me out of the blue.  She was still hot and single, and I was single, so we eventually started an LDR that she promised would only last six months, when she would move back to Virginia and in with me.  I had a history with this girl, so it wasn't really moving too quickly (in my mind at the time).

So I flew down to Fort Lauderdale every other weekend for a few months, and learned quickly that she had spiked the hot/crazy scale.  I tolerated it because lust and she kept putting off moving.  After six months, she decided her best path was an evangelical college and she couldn't move just yet (her parents were extreme religious right), so I said "You be you, but not with me, goodbye for the last time."

There was very little "Christian" about this woman, in the sense of the word.  She drove up from Florida a few times (afraid to fly), mostly after I would tell her I never wanted to see her again.  Finally threatened to call the cops if she ever came near me again.

So Florida does things to you.

Another thing about Florida - at least the Fort Lauderdale / Daytona areas.  Every time we went to a bar, even though we were obviously a couple, people kept hitting on us individually.  Constantly.  She's really hot, but I'm only average looking at best, and still, it was like a college meat market in every bar.  Sleazy place with slimy critters - do not recommend, unless you find a hot piece who lives there.  Then enjoy it while it lasts and be on your way, but don't dally too long.
 
2017-07-15 05:22:26 PM  

Psychette: Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.


Does she have an affinity for clove cigarettes and stickshifts?
 
2017-07-15 05:35:05 PM  

SoFlaNative52: Native Floridian here. IMHO the issues with Florida really the fault of all the transplants. That said, Florida can be blamed for not having a fence to keep out all the northern undesirables. Come to Florida and spend all you money except for enough to get you back to wherever you came from. We don't need y'all moving here anymore.


So which tribe do you belong to?
 
2017-07-15 05:37:05 PM  
5 myths about Florida:
1) it is full of old people - reality: we have lots of rednecks and their moronic spawn too, celebrate diversity!
2) alligators are everywhere - reality: they are mostly found in the everglades and near canals, the everglades, canals and golf courses, the everglades, canals, golf courses and by those stupid "water features" they put in every housing development, sorry where were we again?
3) it is always hot - reality: ever wonder why tickets and hotels are so cheap before Christmas and after New Years?  I know 60 degrees doesn't sound that bad but you try swimming or sunning on the beach then
4) it looks like everywhere else - reality welcome to gated communities, long highways full of strip malls, and...yeah OK suburbia everywhere else is starting to look like Florida
5) Florida drivers are the worst - reality: ever been to Boston, Louisville, Italy, France, or worse yet South America?  Seriously at least old people drive slow and not 60 in a 30 mph zone while travelling 6 abreast down a 4 lane highway like in Buenos Aires.
 
2017-07-15 05:40:56 PM  

StrikitRich: baronbloodbath: Fark Florida.That is all. /ex-Floridian

Well, Bye.

Psychette: Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.

Enough about your mom.

SoFlaNative52: Native Floridian here. IMHO the issues with Florida really the fault of all the transplants. That said, Florida can be blamed for not having a fence to keep out all the northern undesirables. Come to Florida and spend all you money except for enough to get you back to wherever you came from. We don't need y'all moving here anymore.

Farkin'-A, Bubba. This to 11.


2/3 peo2/3 living in FL right now are not natives.  About 1/4 were born outside the USA.  Around 8% were born in NY.  
http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/florida-has-the-second-fewest-nativ​e​-residents-of-any-state-6548292

The Crackers of Florida are not exactly a heritage worth preserving.

And I live here.  And I'm from NY.  Stop making us all look bad with your provincial bullshiat.
 
2017-07-15 05:41:48 PM  
That's what I get for not previewing.  2/3 of the people living in FL...etc
 
2017-07-15 06:16:12 PM  
Born, bred, and raised in Florida.

We have better Cuban food than anywhere in Havana

Famous horses bred in Florida

We don't shovel much snow during winter

There's more to Florida than Disney World

We have hidden gems if you just look

I love my crazy state ... but don't mess with The Mouse.

img.fark.net
 
2017-07-15 06:38:27 PM  

NephilimNexus: Because 99% of the population supports Trump.


Really? He didn't even get 50% of the Florida vote.

http://www.politico.com/2016-election/results/map/president/florida/
 
2017-07-15 06:59:11 PM  
If Trump would build a wall around Florida's border, I would support him and global warming.
 
2017-07-15 07:21:01 PM  
Look, we've ramped up the crazy about as much as we can in an effort to slow down all the immigration from up north but you farkers keep moving here in bigger numbers every year. If we're so farked up, carry your ass home.
 
2017-07-15 07:38:14 PM  

SoFlaNative52: Native Floridian here. IMHO the issues with Florida really the fault of all the transplants. That said, Florida can be blamed for not having a fence to keep out all the northern undesirables. Come to Florida and spend all you money except for enough to get you back to wherever you came from. We don't need y'all moving here anymore.


i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2017-07-15 07:41:26 PM  

thespindrifter: Psychette: Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.

I wasn't aware I had a sibling. So how IS mother these days? Is she still gold digging in the Orange orchards?

FTA: "One can find defenses of individual cities (for example, Jacksonville)

No. No you can't. Jacksuckvile is every bit as much a shiat hole as Odessa Texas, just with more trees and slightly less Mexicans.


Show us on the doll where Jacksonville hurt you.
 
2017-07-15 07:41:46 PM  
I'm glad FARK told me to go to incognito tab for those stupid paywalls or whatever you call that thing that says I must be enjoying good urinalsm.
 
2017-07-15 07:49:38 PM  

Rik01: Ya'll got stopped by the 'subscribe' block too. Didn't you?

Having lived in Florida since I was two years old, I can say it was a great place in the 50's and 60's but sometime in the 70's all hell broke loose and people from the northern states started moving down like like a plague of Locusts. They brought with them a mass of developers who promptly ruined every pristine acre they could buy, inflated prices to astronomical highs and crowded thousands of new folks into cities whose infrastructures were not designed to handle the population boom.

Along with them came a host of their problems, a huge criminal element, dramatic illegal drug increases, major pollution, packed traffic on roads and an irritable population along with the weird and crazy and down right nuts.

Actually, I haven't met a real Floridian in decades.


Hi. Nice to meet you
 
2017-07-15 07:51:13 PM  

hodge-podge: [img.fark.net image 425x345]


Idk the meaning of this picture, but this is a friend of my sister. I have been to the house this picture was taken at, and I used to babysit for her o.O
 
2017-07-15 08:05:18 PM  

interstellar_tedium: 5) Florida drivers are the worst - reality: ever been to Boston, Louisville, Italy, France, or worse yet South America? Seriously at least old people drive slow and not 60 in a 30 mph zone while travelling 6 abreast down a 4 lane highway like in Buenos Aires.


I've driven in Boston, Louisville, and Florida.  I've not driven in Italy or France, but I've been there, the drivers are good.  They're crazy in Rome, but they're not as bad as Florida

Florida drivers are the worst.  Boston drivers are great, they want to get somewhere, and they're going to get there.  Louisville drivers are unremarkable.  And Florida drivers should not be on the road.  Not only are they slow, they're reckless while they're being slow.  Seeing Florida plates here is far too common an occurrence, but at least it's a warning to watch that car more carefully.

I'd rather go 60 in a 30 than 25 in a 45.
 
2017-07-15 08:31:39 PM  

Tor_Eckman: StrikitRich: baronbloodbath: Fark Florida.That is all. /ex-Floridian

Well, Bye.

Psychette: Indisputable Fact: Florida is home to the most awful, destructive, pathological lying, cheating, superficial, narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and I only open Florida links hoping some day that massive waste of space will be involved in a typical Florida freak show so I can point and laugh.

Enough about your mom.

SoFlaNative52: Native Floridian here. IMHO the issues with Florida really the fault of all the transplants. That said, Florida can be blamed for not having a fence to keep out all the northern undesirables. Come to Florida and spend all you money except for enough to get you back to wherever you came from. We don't need y'all moving here anymore.

Farkin'-A, Bubba. This to 11.

Fark all y'all.  I just moved to Florida from Pa., and my neighbors on one side are from Connecticut and the other side Massachusetts.  We're taking over.


Hehe, classic
 
2017-07-15 09:54:57 PM  
"Lynyrd Skynyrd, Doors frontman Jim Morrison, Flo Rida, Johnny Depp, Tom Petty, Norman Reedus, Zora Neale Hurston, Tao Lin and Kate DiCamillo."

too lazy to google but I would wager few to none of the above maintained a primary residence in Florida after they became of age
 
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