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(Some Guy)   Naked man hurts self breaking into home, then severely beaten by resident. Sent to Ball Hospital   ( divider line
    More: Ironic  
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5463 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2002 at 10:27 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

39 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-01-10 10:28:43 AM  
if i only had a dollar for every time that happened to me.
2002-01-10 10:30:33 AM  
That's pretty messed up.

No comment from the naked guy?
2002-01-10 10:33:08 AM  
How about: "Owww.."
2002-01-10 10:36:14 AM  
"I just grabbed my grandfather's cane and swung, hoping he didn't have a gun"

Where? In his ass?
2002-01-10 10:37:03 AM  
did someone go to Obscure store today and link evertyhing from them here?

2002-01-10 10:37:37 AM  
I really hate when naked men break into my house. No good things come from it.
2002-01-10 10:37:38 AM  
and BTW, I am an ecsalunt spellaR

2002-01-10 10:38:43 AM  
So THAT'S why Fb- hasn't been around much lately!
2002-01-10 10:43:39 AM  
I am waiting for the day someone does this to my houseto try out the old make my day law

2002-01-10 10:44:05 AM  
it would suck if this were just some poor schmuck who was robbed of his clothes and trying to stop from freezing to death. otherwise, I say good shot w/ the cane.
2002-01-10 10:44:08 AM  
"I wasn't expecting to see anyone naked in this cold weather," the homeowner said. "After the lights were on and I saw a butt-naked guy on my table I thought, 'Wow, this is weirder than I thought."

This seems as if the 'homeowner' expects to see a naked guy in warmer weather...(?)
2002-01-10 10:45:12 AM  
Anyone find humor in the fact a naked man was beaten and sent to "Ball" Hospital?
2002-01-10 10:46:32 AM  
that's just a few blocks from my house.. his ass would've gotten shocked many o times, if he'd busted in my home.
2002-01-10 10:46:49 AM  
So why was the guy running around in the snow naked anyway/
2002-01-10 10:49:09 AM  
MunzoMan: Durr.... why do you think that detail was included in the headline?
2002-01-10 10:56:50 AM  
I thought the banner on the bottom of this page said " Donate your unwanted kidney for a tax deduction. "
2002-01-10 11:00:07 AM  
Next week, we'll see an article posted on how the naked guy is suing the homeowner for damages, and how the homeowner is being brought up on charges of assault. Where I'm from, an intruder can break into your home, threaten you verbally and hold a gun to your head. If you were somehow able to overpower and beat said person, YOU would be charged. That sucks.
2002-01-10 11:04:59 AM  
How is this ironic?

And you've got to admire the bravery of someone who beats up a badly injured naked guy...
2002-01-10 11:10:53 AM  
So does that bravery come closer to crashing a plane into a building or living with a family?
2002-01-10 11:21:21 AM  
Why didn't he ask the naked guy why he was there before caning him? Did the naked guy pose a threat? I would love to hear his side of this. He was probably mugged or some shiat, clothes stolen, and was looking for a place to warm his jewels... poor guy
2002-01-10 11:22:39 AM  
I heard a naked woman broke into Bob Dole's house and was injured by a cane.
2002-01-10 11:23:06 AM  
Perrin, Wulph: That is what I was thinking too. The guy was yelling that he was coming in through the window.

Maybe he was just trying to get the wife to join him in the basement.
2002-01-10 11:23:08 AM  
The thing is ......I wonder if he was in critical condition from frostbite in places I would rather not discuss. Snow and nekkidness doesn't mix too well.
2002-01-10 11:23:46 AM  
Sadly, I think what Meshman described will happen in this case. It's rather farked up when you can have a criminal, who admits to breaking and entering with an intent to rob a person sue that person for getting locked in their garage, or because the admitted robber fell through the roof, etc etc etc.

If the person is a criminal and admits to the crime, hell if there is even a reason to believe that the person was going to commit a crime like that, they shouldn't have the option of suing the home-owner. Once they have the intent to commit a crime, they lose every right not covered in the Miranda. IMHO.

If this happened to me, (nekkid dude breaking into my house) he'd have probably gotten the shiat kicked out of him.

I mean, you could have a guy break into a museum, steal some stuff from exhibits and then fall down stairs and break his legs and he could sue the museum and would most likely win. The court don't seem to care that the only reason the guy was there was to break the law, only that he got injured. The fact that he should not have been there in the first place is totally irrelevant for some reason. Shows just how farked up stuff can be.
2002-01-10 11:30:21 AM  
Naked man dubbed "The Turd Burglar"
2002-01-10 11:32:06 AM  
Blackvampyr: you're kidding.

No expressed intent to rob was ever even remotely implied. Except maybe a pair of pants he probably wouldn't have robbed shiat.

Robbers don't usually announce their entry nor do it without clothes. Or was this all part of his master plan?
2002-01-10 11:57:57 AM  
'Ball Hospital'!!!???

To get his knutz fixed?
2002-01-10 12:04:18 PM  
"I just grabbed my grandfather's cane and swung, hoping he didn't have a gun. I just hit him until he stopped coming forward."

How many places can a naked man hide a gun?
2002-01-10 12:08:00 PM  
'How many places can a naked man hide a gun?'

well, obviously there are three... duh :b
2002-01-10 12:12:16 PM  
Oh no! If movies have taught me anything it's that when a naked man breaks into your house, he's obviously from a possible future he has now traveled back in time to prevent. Don't people know you can't travel back in time with clothes on??? And you just thought Hollywood was just trying to put in more pooper shots.
2002-01-10 12:31:06 PM  
Rabb- I thought you of al people would realize, he was actually sent to Cock and Ball hospital for further torture.
2002-01-10 01:27:38 PM  
Good thing this clown didn't show up at my house because I'd rip his dick off, implant it in his anal cavity, then send him on his merry way.
2002-01-10 02:01:35 PM  
How is this ironic?

Yay first to complain about the irony tag!
2002-01-10 02:08:05 PM  
Alright, a few people have caught on, but I don't think this guy was a criminal at all:

At best, he was the victim of a prank, like a frat hazing dropping him off with no clothes.

At worst, he was carjacked & robbed of his clothes, then beaten when he was trying to get help.

He wasn't trying to be a stealthy criminal, he'd knocked on other doors trying to get in, probably desperate for clothes and to keep his cajones from falling off in the snow!

I actually think the person who beat the shiat out him is an asshole... I don't like the idea of someone entering my house either, but I think he was just desperate. He obviously didn't live in the area, or he would have broken into his own house! I feel sorry for the poor bastard.

I like the reference however... could be! (heh)
2002-01-10 02:08:54 PM  
In other news, "Gay man tries to find shelter after being thrown out of boyfriend's appartment"
2002-01-10 02:21:26 PM  
Try this again...

If the naked dude had bothered to read Fark before his B&E, he might have known it was legal to carry a concealed weapon.
Only problem is, what kind of weapon can a naked guy conceal, where could he hide it... and how long would it take to pull it out?
2002-01-10 02:22:38 PM  
And you may find yourself, wrapped in an ugly curtain
And you may find yourself, bleeding from shards of broken glass
And you may find yourself, being beaten by an angry homeowner

And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
2002-01-10 02:31:58 PM  
There butt for the Grace of God go I.
2002-01-10 10:03:55 PM  
For Captain_Blasphemy:

[image from too old to be available]
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