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(NPR)   You know things are bad when the Mormons say, "Fark it, I need a drink"   ( npr.org) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Utah, alcoholic drinks, Zion Curtain, Alcoholic beverage, owner Joel LaSalle, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, restaurant owner Joel, Utah restaurant owner  
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3140 clicks; posted to Geek » on 02 Jul 2017 at 7:50 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-07-02 07:57:57 PM  
I will literally never visit Utah unless I have to.

Fark that place. Fark those people.
 
2017-07-02 08:01:42 PM  
My God. Behold... the glamour of bartending!


img.fark.net
 
2017-07-02 08:08:56 PM  

skozlaw: I will literally never visit Utah unless I have to.

Fark that place. Fark those people.


Some beautiful hiking and skiing.  Just stay out of cities, you'll be fine.
 
2017-07-02 08:14:02 PM  
Way to go, Utah. Don't let your 'sincerely held religious beliefs' get in the way of your pursuit of mammon.
 
2017-07-02 08:34:28 PM  
Shame on these and and all religious kooks and shame on us and the federation for allowing this ongoing blue/sharia law bullshiat to control victims of all creeds in multiple states.  Damn you to your hells.
 
2017-07-02 08:38:47 PM  
Remember to always bring two Momons with you when you go fishing. If you bring just one he'll drink all of your beer.
 
2017-07-02 08:55:44 PM  

Candygram4Mongo: My God. Behold... the glamour of bartending!

[img.fark.net image 221x174]

img.fark.net
 
2017-07-02 09:10:48 PM  

Candygram4Mongo: My God. Behold... the glamour of bartending!


[img.fark.net image 221x174]


Ol Lon usually wasn't on the selling side of a bar.
 
2017-07-02 09:18:19 PM  
Not fair.  Mormons drink.  They drink quite a bit.  But that whole "state mandated watery piss beer" needs to go.
 
2017-07-02 09:18:52 PM  
Wow, people get all upset about "Sharia Law" but Utah had a mandatory partition so that you cant see alcohol ?!?
 
2017-07-02 09:48:28 PM  

Cpl.D: Mormons drink.  They drink quite a bit.


That's why you always take two Mormons out fishing with you. If it's just one, he'll drink all your beer.
 
2017-07-02 09:50:37 PM  

Cpl.D: Not fair.  Mormons drink.  They drink quite a bit.  But that whole "state mandated watery piss beer" needs to go.


Draft beer is limited to 4%ABV, true. But bottled beer doesn't have a limit. There are some amazing bottled and cask conditioned strong brews coming from Utah breweries.
 
2017-07-02 10:02:14 PM  
Why is this in the geek tab?
 
2017-07-02 10:03:23 PM  

unicron702: skozlaw: I will literally never visit Utah unless I have to.

Fark that place. Fark those people.

Some beautiful hiking and skiing.  Just stay out of cities, you'll be fine.


Came here to say this. ( I liked Park City )

/ ...and I'd like to visit Zion National Park.
 
2017-07-02 10:03:52 PM  

Hal5423: Why is this in the geek tab?


Shiat from the politics tab winds up on the main page so why not this?
 
2017-07-02 10:05:24 PM  
Massachusetts doesn't allow Happy Hours, Mississippi won't let you drink any beer that is more than 10ABV% even when bottled or canned, Kansas has more confusing laws about what constitutes beer vs cereal malt beer vs liquor, Pennsylvanians still can't get bourbon and beer in the same place. It's not just Utah.
 
2017-07-02 10:10:42 PM  
Plus a lot of visitors to the ski resorts deal with altitude sickness issues anyways. Adding strong beer to that would not be fun.
 
2017-07-02 10:13:59 PM  

Forbidden Doughnut: unicron702: skozlaw: I will literally never visit Utah unless I have to.

Fark that place. Fark those people.

Some beautiful hiking and skiing.  Just stay out of cities, you'll be fine.

Came here to say this. ( I liked Park City )

/ ...and I'd like to visit Zion National Park.


Zion is awesome.  Hiking The Narrows is one of the top five coolest things I've done
 
2017-07-02 10:18:04 PM  

Homr: Massachusetts doesn't allow Happy Hours, Mississippi won't let you drink any beer that is more than 10ABV% even when bottled or canned, Kansas has more confusing laws about what constitutes beer vs cereal malt beer vs liquor, Pennsylvanians still can't get bourbon and beer in the same place. It's not just Utah.


Here in my home town the city council has and will always deny any business that sells gas to also sell beer.
 
2017-07-02 10:37:08 PM  
What's sad, is that even with the 2% price hike to liquor, Utah STILL has cheaper liquor than Washington State.
 
2017-07-02 10:41:59 PM  

skozlaw: I will literally never visit Utah unless I have to.

Fark that place. Fark those people.


You mean you won't visit to see the Great Salt Lake, Salt Flats, and...uh...salt?
 
2017-07-02 10:46:23 PM  
So when you order from a zion's curtain, do you have to knock three times, then push your thigh groin and shoulder together and do secret handshakes, like they do at the curtain ceremony in the temple?  I just ask, because Mormons get upset when you bring up their temple crap, especially when you include details.
 
2017-07-02 10:50:37 PM  

fusillade762: Candygram4Mongo: My God. Behold... the glamour of bartending!

[img.fark.net image 221x174]
[img.fark.net image 500x300]


img.fark.net
 
2017-07-02 11:01:41 PM  
You can refrain from having a cocktail without being a dick about it to others.

Stone Meadow: Way to go, Utah. Don't let your 'sincerely held religious beliefs' get in the way of your pursuit of mammon.


On the plus side, they do a hell of a job of caring for their local homeless population.
 
2017-07-02 11:31:09 PM  

Homr: Cpl.D: Not fair.  Mormons drink.  They drink quite a bit.  But that whole "state mandated watery piss beer" needs to go.

Draft beer is limited to 4%ABV, true. But bottled beer doesn't have a limit. There are some amazing bottled and cask conditioned strong brews coming from Utah breweries.


Low alcohol beer made from barley are specifically allowed by the Words of Wisdom.

17 Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.
 
2017-07-03 12:19:20 AM  

Homr: Plus a lot of visitors to the ski resorts deal with altitude sickness issues anyways. Adding strong beer to that would not be fun.


wat
 
2017-07-03 01:00:05 AM  

Homr: Plus a lot of visitors to the ski resorts deal with altitude sickness issues anyways. Adding strong beer to that would not be fun.


This really doesn't seem to be an issue in Colorado.
 
2017-07-03 01:08:09 AM  

Far Cough: Shame on these and and all religious kooks and shame on us and the federation for allowing this ongoing blue/sharia law bullshiat to control victims of all creeds in multiple states.  Damn you to your hells.


Wut?
 
2017-07-03 01:12:34 AM  

vernonFL: Wow, people get all upset about "Sharia Law" but Utah had a mandatory partition so that you cant see alcohol ?!?


Discovering that fact would have required research or travel into Utah.

For once, I can forgive ignorance.
 
2017-07-03 01:14:26 AM  

knbwhite: Far Cough: Shame on these and and all religious kooks and shame on us and the federation for allowing this ongoing blue/sharia law bullshiat to control victims of all creeds in multiple states.  Damn you to your hells.

Wut?


Back when Christianity was a more powerful force in the States, there was a system of Blue Laws in various states that made things like opening retail stores and selling alcohol on a Sunday illegal.
 
2017-07-03 01:15:38 AM  
Or Blue Laws, even...
 
2017-07-03 01:19:28 AM  

TedCruz'sCrazyDad: Homr: Cpl.D: Not fair.  Mormons drink.  They drink quite a bit.  But that whole "state mandated watery piss beer" needs to go.

Draft beer is limited to 4%ABV, true. But bottled beer doesn't have a limit. There are some amazing bottled and cask conditioned strong brews coming from Utah breweries.

Low alcohol beer made from barley are specifically allowed by the Words of Wisdom.

17 Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.


I can't have barley now? Great.
 
2017-07-03 01:42:50 AM  

skozlaw: I will literally never visit Utah unless I have to.

Fark that place. Fark those people.


A huge loss for Utah, I'm sure.

I've got 6 world-class ski resorts within 30 minutes.  If the trade off for that is some wonky liquor laws, I'd say its absolutely worth it.

/not Mormon
//been here for 21 years
///love it
 
2017-07-03 01:54:38 AM  

Mad_Radhu: Remember to always bring two Momons with you when you go fishing. If you bring just one he'll drink all of your beer.


Your beer it's safe, I have it on good authority that they go for opiates these days.
 
2017-07-03 01:57:02 AM  

winedrinkingman: So when you order from a zion's curtain, do you have to knock three times, then push your thigh groin and shoulder together and do secret handshakes, like they do at the curtain ceremony in the temple?  I just ask, because Mormons get upset when you bring up their temple crap, especially when you include details.


Does your drink have a name?

It does.

Will you give it to me?

I will through the Zion curtain
 
2017-07-03 03:14:23 AM  

winedrinkingman: So when you order from a zion's curtain, do you have to knock three times, then push your thigh groin and shoulder together and do secret handshakes, like they do at the curtain ceremony in the temple?  I just ask, because Mormons get upset when you bring up their temple crap, especially when you include details.


They get upset because that's stolen from Freemasonry. The secret drinking too.
 
2017-07-03 04:07:30 AM  

KidKorporate: winedrinkingman: So when you order from a zion's curtain, do you have to knock three times, then push your thigh groin and shoulder together and do secret handshakes, like they do at the curtain ceremony in the temple?  I just ask, because Mormons get upset when you bring up their temple crap, especially when you include details.


I'm not upset, I but I would like to clarify a couple of things: Yes, a mallet is tapped three times to let the ordinance worker know when to begin the requisite recitations at the veil, a sacred place in the temple, similar to the veil in the Hebrew Temple that was rent in two at the time of Christ's crucifixion.
It's nota "curtain".
In the 25 years I have been attending the temple. I have never once been asked to push thigh, groin, and shoulder together during the rite. There's nothing in the least untoward or remotely sexual about it.
I think that you have picked up some serious misinformation along the way, which is not uncommon.
 
2017-07-03 06:27:52 AM  

BullBearMS: Back when Christianity was a more powerful force in the States, there was a system of Blue Laws were enacted in various states that made things like opening retail stores and selling alcohol on a Sunday illegal.


/ftfy, since they still exist
 
2017-07-03 07:13:45 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: BullBearMS: Back when Christianity was a more powerful force in the States, there was a system of Blue Laws were enacted in various states that made things like opening retail stores and selling alcohol on a Sunday illegal.

/ftfy, since they still exist


Yes.  No "back when" about it.  This odious religious control of marketplaces - not just liquor stores but shutting down all retail stores of any kind - is still in place through much of New Jersey, for example.  Only have one day off from work, tons of family responsibility, and need to pick up some new shoes?  Too bad for you, the god nuts have forced you to try to travel to a slightly more civilized county, because all the stores are closed.
 
2017-07-03 09:27:50 AM  
"Wine is a gift from God that gladdens the heart."

Also in Proverbs, "give wine to him who's life is bitter, that he may forget his pain.  Give strong drink to him who's life is perishing... "  strong drink was wine mixed with cabinoids and opposed IIRC.
 
2017-07-03 09:45:04 AM  

0z79: What's sad, is that even with the 2% price hike to liquor, Utah STILL has cheaper liquor than Washington State.


Yes, amazing that a state with no income tax would make up for it in Sales Tax right?

Annoying they did chose Sin taxes in particular, but regardless, unless you spend upwards of 10% of your income on booze, you are still coming out ahead.

\Could always drive to Oregon and buy your booze Tax free.
\\Use tax may apply
 
2017-07-03 10:43:04 AM  

Far Cough: Shame on these and and all religious kooks and shame on us and the federation for allowing this ongoing blue/sharia law bullshiat to control victims of all creeds in multiple states.  Damn you to your hells.


It's the hyperbole, man.  I think blue laws are silly and outdated, but sharia it ain't.  I've had a few good times in bars in Utah and never got sentenced to lashes in the public square.
 
2017-07-03 11:16:15 AM  

knbwhite: Far Cough: Shame on these and and all religious kooks and shame on us and the federation for allowing this ongoing blue/sharia law bullshiat to control victims of all creeds in multiple states.  Damn you to your hells.

It's the hyperbole, man.  I think blue laws are silly and outdated, but sharia it ain't.  I've had a few good times in bars in Utah and never got sentenced to lashes in the public square.


Fair point.  But people really are victims of this theocratic bullcrappery.  Especially when it extends from "can't buy a recreational drug" to "can't buy anything" and "can't work on XYZ's holy day because they say so".  It's odious.
 
2017-07-03 03:12:16 PM  

Far Cough: ArcadianRefugee: BullBearMS: Back when Christianity was a more powerful force in the States, there was a system of Blue Laws were enacted in various states that made things like opening retail stores and selling alcohol on a Sunday illegal.

/ftfy, since they still exist

Yes.  No "back when" about it.  This odious religious control of marketplaces - not just liquor stores but shutting down all retail stores of any kind - is still in place through much of New Jersey, for example.  Only have one day off from work, tons of family responsibility, and need to pick up some new shoes?  Too bad for you, the god nuts have forced you to try to travel to a slightly more civilized county, because all the stores are closed.


What state still refuses to allow retail stores to open on Sunday?
 
2017-07-03 03:17:15 PM  

BullBearMS: Far Cough: ArcadianRefugee: BullBearMS: Back when Christianity was a more powerful force in the States, there was a system of Blue Laws were enacted in various states that made things like opening retail stores and selling alcohol on a Sunday illegal.

/ftfy, since they still exist

Yes.  No "back when" about it.  This odious religious control of marketplaces - not just liquor stores but shutting down all retail stores of any kind - is still in place through much of New Jersey, for example.  Only have one day off from work, tons of family responsibility, and need to pick up some new shoes?  Too bad for you, the god nuts have forced you to try to travel to a slightly more civilized county, because all the stores are closed.

What state still refuses to allow retail stores to open on Sunday?


http://www.newyorker.com/business/currency/americas-last-ban-sunday-sh​opping
 
2017-07-03 04:21:10 PM  

Far Cough: BullBearMS: Far Cough: ArcadianRefugee: BullBearMS: Back when Christianity was a more powerful force in the States, there was a system of Blue Laws were enacted in various states that made things like opening retail stores and selling alcohol on a Sunday illegal.

/ftfy, since they still exist

Yes.  No "back when" about it.  This odious religious control of marketplaces - not just liquor stores but shutting down all retail stores of any kind - is still in place through much of New Jersey, for example.  Only have one day off from work, tons of family responsibility, and need to pick up some new shoes?  Too bad for you, the god nuts have forced you to try to travel to a slightly more civilized county, because all the stores are closed.

What state still refuses to allow retail stores to open on Sunday?

http://www.newyorker.com/business/currency/americas-last-ban-sunday-sh​opping


So one county somewhere a couple of years ago?

Sorry, but comprehensive nation wide blue laws are a thing of the past.

Hell, we're down to 12 states that ban the sale of booze on Sunday.
 
2017-07-03 05:02:46 PM  

BullBearMS: Far Cough: BullBearMS: Far Cough: ArcadianRefugee: BullBearMS: Back when Christianity was a more powerful force in the States, there was a system of Blue Laws were enacted in various states that made things like opening retail stores and selling alcohol on a Sunday illegal.

/ftfy, since they still exist

Yes.  No "back when" about it.  This odious religious control of marketplaces - not just liquor stores but shutting down all retail stores of any kind - is still in place through much of New Jersey, for example.  Only have one day off from work, tons of family responsibility, and need to pick up some new shoes?  Too bad for you, the god nuts have forced you to try to travel to a slightly more civilized county, because all the stores are closed.

What state still refuses to allow retail stores to open on Sunday?

http://www.newyorker.com/business/currency/americas-last-ban-sunday-sh​opping

So one county somewhere a couple of years ago?

Sorry, but comprehensive nation wide blue laws are a thing of the past.

Hell, we're down to 12 states that ban the sale of booze on Sunday.


Why are you insisting on things that aren't true?  I made clear I was referencing NJ before you even asked for a reference.   It's the article that happened to be 2 years old.  The restrictions didn't end.  And there are plenty of blue laws in effect on more than just alcohol.  Cars are a big target and there are lots more.

  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_laws_in_the_United_States
 
2017-07-03 05:37:21 PM  

Far Cough: Why are you insisting on things that aren't true?


Because the comprehensive system of blue laws that once blanketed the entire nation are a thing of the past, despite a few holdout areas?

Hell, I'd like to see a comeback of one of the religion based laws we used to have.

Usury used to be illegal.
 
2017-07-03 05:42:31 PM  

BullBearMS: Far Cough: Why are you insisting on things that aren't true?

Because the comprehensive system of blue laws that once blanketed the entire nation are a thing of the past, despite a few holdout areas?

Hell, I'd like to see a comeback of one of the religion based laws we used to have.

Usury used to be illegal.


So the laws aren't despicable because now they only affect a relative minority of citizens?  Is that your position?  'Cause that position stinks.

They're not charming relics.  They are a continuing affront to liberty.  And I barely drink and don't live in those areas.
 
2017-07-03 05:55:02 PM  

Far Cough: So the laws aren't despicable because now they only affect a relative minority of citizens?


I believe I already stated my position.

BullBearMS: You can refrain from having a cocktail without being a dick about it to others.


This doesn't change the fact that the blue laws which once blanketed the entire nation are largely a thing of the past.
 
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