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(GQ)   Stop bringing your sh*tty cheap booze to parties. Just stop it, it makes you look cheap   ( gq.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Secret Luxury Liquor, Alcoholic beverage, previously benign closet, lightly tragic alcohol, powdered margarita mix, small sandwich bag, desperate hoarding behavior, Great Recession survivors  
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10941 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2017 at 5:55 AM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



194 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2017-06-30 04:15:35 AM  
Shows how much you know, subby - I never get invited to any parties.

/So there
 
2017-06-30 05:05:23 AM  
My cheap booze for parties:

img.fark.net

My less cheap booze for parties:

img.fark.net
 
2017-06-30 05:50:19 AM  
I only drink the finest Cambodian breast milks.
 
2017-06-30 06:01:39 AM  
Im sorry but no!
Ok, it's all alcohol.  Cheap booze is still booze. It's not as if some alcohol is magically better then others. It's pretty much all the same.

It's like those wine snobs who have to savor those 500$ bottles. A sucker is born every minute.
 
2017-06-30 06:06:45 AM  
 "A six pack of some sort of fancy, craft-looking beer will do. Two sixpacks if you're nasty.)"

DIAF
 
2017-06-30 06:09:08 AM  

viscountalpha: Im sorry but no!
Ok, it's all alcohol.  Cheap booze is still booze. It's not as if some alcohol is magically better then others. It's pretty much all the same.

It's like those wine snobs who have to savor those 500$ bottles. A sucker is born every minute.


I didn't read much of the article, it doesn't seem targeted at my demographic, more to the just-post-college crowd, but what I did read seemed to simply be saying don't bring a sixer of shiatty beer to a party and then drink all your hosts liquor. A few bucks can make a big difference when it comes to beer, it's certainly not all the same.
 
2017-06-30 06:13:17 AM  

viscountalpha: Im sorry but no!
Ok, it's all alcohol.  Cheap booze is still booze. It's not as if some alcohol is magically better then others. It's pretty much all the same.

It's like those wine snobs who have to savor those 500$ bottles. A sucker is born every minute.


That's not the price/quality difference they are talking about in the article.

And yes, there is a difference in taste between Pabst and whatever your local popular craft beer happens to be. I know it's all cool to say, "I drink whatever, I just want to get wasted!" However, this is the internet, so lets not be disingenuous.
 
2017-06-30 06:13:38 AM  

viscountalpha: Im sorry but no!
Ok, it's all alcohol.  Cheap booze is still booze. It's not as if some alcohol is magically better then others. It's pretty much all the same.


It is, but it tastes differently. Don't shop up to my place with six Coors Lites and then drink all my Old Speckled Hen. If you bring shiat, you drink it. If you bring the good stuff, I'll drink it and you are welcome to my good stuff.

It's like those wine snobs who have to savor those 500$ bottles. A sucker is born every minute.

Agree 100% on this.
 
2017-06-30 06:15:51 AM  

timujin: My cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 388x588]

My less cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 588x588]


Don't worry, I've got your back.  People will think that's cool, because I'm bringing this to go with it:

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com
 
2017-06-30 06:18:54 AM  
Bringing a six-pack of cheap beer and then drinking your host's fancy bottle of liquor? Not cool.

The low-class author needs to stop bringing his low-class friends to parties.
 
2017-06-30 06:22:22 AM  

eKonk: timujin: My cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 388x588]

My less cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 588x588]

Don't worry, I've got your back.  People will think that's cool, because I'm bringing this to go with it:

[images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 355x355]


And now it's a party!
 
2017-06-30 06:23:32 AM  
Don't worry I brought enough for everyone!
md2020wine.com
 
2017-06-30 06:24:34 AM  

eKonk: timujin: My cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 388x588]

My less cheap booze for parties:
Oh
[img.fark.net image 588x588]

Don't worry, I've got your back.  People will think that's cool, because I'm bringing this to go with it:

[images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 355x355]


Oh, also, that second bottle is cask strength, so the Mountain Dew will dilute it just right
 
2017-06-30 06:24:45 AM  

Feel_the_velvet: Bringing a six-pack of cheap beer and then drinking your host's fancy bottle of liquor? Not cool.

The low-class author needs to stop bringing his low-class friends to parties.


Exactly.  When I host Farkers, it's Faygo and MD20/20 all the way.  When the Baptists come over, we break out the Arbor Mist.  Know your demographic.
 
2017-06-30 06:27:10 AM  
I bring good weed to parties.
F**k booze. Why not just sniff glue? Gets you high by the same mechanism.
 
2017-06-30 06:37:44 AM  
If you're worried about what other people are bringing to a party for themselves to drink, the problem is you not them.
Just don't take my beer without asking.
 
2017-06-30 06:41:27 AM  
I don't care, I'll do what I want.
 
2017-06-30 06:46:33 AM  

Cozret: viscountalpha: Im sorry but no!
Ok, it's all alcohol.  Cheap booze is still booze. It's not as if some alcohol is magically better then others. It's pretty much all the same.

It's like those wine snobs who have to savor those 500$ bottles. A sucker is born every minute.

That's not the price/quality difference they are talking about in the article.

And yes, there is a difference in taste between Pabst and whatever your local popular craft beer happens to be. I know it's all cool to say, "I drink whatever, I just want to get wasted!" However, this is the internet, so lets not be disingenuous.


I should qualify that beer is it's own catagory and yes, the cheap stuff is awful. I thought the the article meant liquors.

Also, they are making Zima again. I'm morbidly curious.
 
2017-06-30 06:48:16 AM  

Catlenfell: If you're worried about what other people are bringing to a party for themselves to drink, the problem is you not them.
Just don't take my beer without asking.


I don't get bringing something to a party that's supposed to be just yours.

No if you bring it to a party it becomes party property.
 
2017-06-30 06:49:16 AM  

Swiss Colony: It is, but it tastes differently. Don't shop up to my place with six Coors Lites and then drink all my Old Speckled Hen. If you bring shiat, you drink it. If you bring the good stuff, I'll drink it and you are welcome to my good stuff.


Conversely, I rock up with a bag full of pricey beers precisely because I don't want to have to drink whatever pisswater has been thrown in the ice bucket.

If you're the host, I will share, otherwise go and drink your bloody Fosters or shiatty Heineken (yeah i went there.  Heineken is shiate).

I buy beers that I like the taste of.  I would rather have a non alcoholic drink than a shiat beer.

 Also, no I don't want a jager bomb,  I'll have almost any other shot, but fark off with your nasty tasting shiate, a friend of my wife's actually took offence when I refused a jagerbomb from a round he was buying.  fark you buddy, it tastes like cough medicine, and not the good sort, the shiatty coal tar stuff that grandma used to have.
 
2017-06-30 06:50:31 AM  
Adulting life hack!
 
2017-06-30 06:52:45 AM  

Pinko_Commie: Swiss Colony: It is, but it tastes differently. Don't shop up to my place with six Coors Lites and then drink all my Old Speckled Hen. If you bring shiat, you drink it. If you bring the good stuff, I'll drink it and you are welcome to my good stuff.

Conversely, I rock up with a bag full of pricey beers precisely because I don't want to have to drink whatever pisswater has been thrown in the ice bucket.

If you're the host, I will share, otherwise go and drink your bloody Fosters or shiatty Heineken (yeah i went there.  Heineken is shiate).

I buy beers that I like the taste of.  I would rather have a non alcoholic drink than a shiat beer.

 Also, no I don't want a jager bomb,  I'll have almost any other shot, but fark off with your nasty tasting shiate, a friend of my wife's actually took offence when I refused a jagerbomb from a round he was buying.  fark you buddy, it tastes like cough medicine, and not the good sort, the shiatty coal tar stuff that grandma used to have.


 If you bring beer for yourself and maybe the host you're a douche.
 
2017-06-30 06:53:02 AM  

MugzyBrown: Catlenfell: If you're worried about what other people are bringing to a party for themselves to drink, the problem is you not them.
Just don't take my beer without asking.

I don't get bringing something to a party that's supposed to be just yours.

No if you bring it to a party it becomes party property.


You can fark off with that shiat.

I don't bring beer that costs me almost £10 for 4 bottles, just so you can swap it for your shiate you picked up at the petrol station for 16 for £12.
 
2017-06-30 06:53:50 AM  
I *really* miss parties. The last one I went to was kind of a wake, and I brought a not cheap bottle of Reposado Tequila. Everyone loved it. I should have brought beers though- it was zero Pacificos or Negra Modelos all about the place, and I was frankly not in a tequila mood.
 
2017-06-30 06:56:02 AM  
FTA/ He proceeds, subtly but confidently, to totally abandon his own questionable offering in favor of my Secret Luxury Liquor


Rich people problems .
 
2017-06-30 06:56:08 AM  

Pinko_Commie: MugzyBrown: Catlenfell: If you're worried about what other people are bringing to a party for themselves to drink, the problem is you not them.
Just don't take my beer without asking.

I don't get bringing something to a party that's supposed to be just yours.

No if you bring it to a party it becomes party property.

You can fark off with that shiat.

I don't bring beer that costs me almost £10 for 4 bottles, just so you can swap it for your shiate you picked up at the petrol station for 16 for £12.


 Do you bring your own food to bbqs too?
 
2017-06-30 06:56:47 AM  
I thought this article was written by man and I was really relating to it and the the author throws in that the real reason she puts on house parties is that she doesn't like to wear bras, and that's where I decided that I've maybe had the wrong group of friends my whole life.
But, then again, maybe these bra-less housebound lushes are less attractive than I imagine them to be.
 
2017-06-30 07:01:06 AM  
In my experience, i'm a beer snob.  I bring what i like and absolutely will not be consuming your Coors or Busch Light (or Heineken which also sucks) so, no, i'm not sharing what i brought with just anyone.  I can't say i agree with the concept of "party property" beyond a keg.

Not much of an issue seeing as i dont like being around drunks much.
 
2017-06-30 07:04:16 AM  
Svedka is her "secret luxury liquor "? I think she's part of the problem.
 
2017-06-30 07:05:08 AM  

MugzyBrown: Pinko_Commie: MugzyBrown: Catlenfell: If you're worried about what other people are bringing to a party for themselves to drink, the problem is you not them.
Just don't take my beer without asking.

I don't get bringing something to a party that's supposed to be just yours.

No if you bring it to a party it becomes party property.

You can fark off with that shiat.

I don't bring beer that costs me almost £10 for 4 bottles, just so you can swap it for your shiate you picked up at the petrol station for 16 for £12.

 Do you bring your own food to bbqs too?


No, but then again I don't go to BBQs where I know they'll be serving shiat cheap meat...

I don't drink shiat beer.  Often at parties beer is purchased for quantity and not quality.  Rather than offend by complaining, I bring my own.  If it so happens that others are not uncultured swine who just want to get as blasted as possible as cheaply as possible, then there will be sharing of beer.

But if you rock up with a carrier bag full of Fosters, you sit in the corner and think about what you have done and drink your shiatty tasting fizzy piss and you like it, while the rest of us adults actually enjoy our drinks.

/yes I'm a beer snob
//Vodak on the other hand, use the cheap shiat if making mixed drinks
 
2017-06-30 07:05:34 AM  

MugzyBrown: Pinko_Commie: MugzyBrown: Catlenfell: If you're worried about what other people are bringing to a party for themselves to drink, the problem is you not them.
Just don't take my beer without asking.

I don't get bringing something to a party that's supposed to be just yours.

No if you bring it to a party it becomes party property.

You can fark off with that shiat.

I don't bring beer that costs me almost £10 for 4 bottles, just so you can swap it for your shiate you picked up at the petrol station for 16 for £12.

 Do you bring your own food to bbqs too?


I did that when i went thru a vegan phase in my 20s.  I didnt expect a host to cater to me for that just like i dont expect just any party to provide beer i will actually drink/enjoy.
 
2017-06-30 07:15:15 AM  

Pinko_Commie: Swiss Colony: It is, but it tastes differently. Don't shop up to my place with six Coors Lites and then drink all my Old Speckled Hen. If you bring shiat, you drink it. If you bring the good stuff, I'll drink it and you are welcome to my good stuff.

Conversely, I rock up with a bag full of pricey beers precisely because I don't want to have to drink whatever pisswater has been thrown in the ice bucket.

If you're the host, I will share, otherwise go and drink your bloody Fosters or shiatty Heineken (yeah i went there.  Heineken is shiate).

I buy beers that I like the taste of.  I would rather have a non alcoholic drink than a shiat beer.

 Also, no I don't want a jager bomb,  I'll have almost any other shot, but fark off with your nasty tasting shiate, a friend of my wife's actually took offence when I refused a jagerbomb from a round he was buying.  fark you buddy, it tastes like cough medicine, and not the good sort, the shiatty coal tar stuff that grandma used to have.


I'm with you on the jager bombs. Tastes like NyQuil, so I just bring that and some soda water. I hope the host doesn't mind the party turning into a sleepover.
 
2017-06-30 07:16:16 AM  
Here's what I got from reading that-

1. Stop being poor
2. Do a better job hiding your good booze
 
2017-06-30 07:18:55 AM  
Stopped reading after "drains my Svedka, which had been hiding in the freezer as my Secret Luxury Liquor for Special Occasions (other Great Recession survivors will recognize this desperate hoarding behavior)."
 
2017-06-30 07:23:24 AM  

viscountalpha: Also, they are making Zima again. I'm morbidly curious.


As I recall, it wasn't great, but it wasn't as horrendous as people made it out to be.  Add a splash of vodka to some lemon flavored sparkling water, and that should replicate the experience.
 
2017-06-30 07:24:02 AM  

timujin: My cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 388x588]

My less cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 588x588]


My house is always a party and you good sir or madam are always invited.

I can't even GET my Eagle Rare fix in these parts. It's as rare as hens teeth. I have to drive over 2 hours one way to get my fix when I get desperate.
 
2017-06-30 07:25:02 AM  

mrwknd: Stopped reading after "drains my Svedka, which had been hiding in the freezer as my Secret Luxury Liquor for Special Occasions (other Great Recession survivors will recognize this desperate hoarding behavior)."


Isn't that stuff like $15 for a handle?
 
2017-06-30 07:26:18 AM  
This article sponsored by Big Alcohol
 
2017-06-30 07:26:36 AM  
Hide your booze better if you don't want your guests drinking it.

I wonder if the author really means she doesn't like the ugly dudes drinking her booze. I bet she wouldn't mind a good looking guy sipping on the glass. I know, she didn't really give me any reason to think that, but you don't throw a party hoping the ugly folks show up.

I bring good beer to parties and try to get other people who appreciate good beer to drink it so I can feel cool knowing my favorite beer is better than their favorite beer. No, your beer is too hoppy.
 
2017-06-30 07:27:06 AM  
Choo-choo!!!!

img.fark.net
 
2017-06-30 07:27:33 AM  

garandman1a: timujin: My cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 388x588]

My less cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 588x588]

My house is always a party and you good sir or madam are always invited.

I can't even GET my Eagle Rare fix in these parts. It's as rare as hens teeth. I have to drive over 2 hours one way to get my fix when I get desperate.


That's a tragedy. There was a shortage of the stuff a couple of years ago, but now you can find it at just about any grocer. It's frequently on sale, too, I think the last 750 I picked up was under $30.
 
2017-06-30 07:31:45 AM  

Pinko_Commie: MugzyBrown: Catlenfell: If you're worried about what other people are bringing to a party for themselves to drink, the problem is you not them.
Just don't take my beer without asking.

I don't get bringing something to a party that's supposed to be just yours.

No if you bring it to a party it becomes party property.

You can fark off with that shiat.

I don't bring beer that costs me almost £10 for 4 bottles, just so you can swap it for your shiate you picked up at the petrol station for 16 for £12.


But isn't that the entire point of the article? That people shouldn't be bringing swill?

I'd also add that it depends on the group - if you have regular get-togethers and once in a while a person forgets to bring something or brings something lesser that's one thing. If they never bring anything that's another. I run a monthly board game night and people generally bring wine or beer. If someone forgets to bring something now and then, it happens. People run behind schedule. Whatever. But one person who is no longer invited used to bring wine just above the level of cooking wine, then proceed to drink anything but that.

It's the people that recognize there's an obligation to bring something because they'll otherwise look like freeloaders but are too cheap to actually bring something commensurate with everyone else. If you bring absolute shiat, you drink it. If you bring something on the rough level of everyone else, then it's a party, be communal.
 
2017-06-30 07:34:50 AM  
Get a keg and tell people to bring what they want if they have special drinking needs, but you've got plenty.
 
2017-06-30 07:34:58 AM  
Long story short, the author has a drinking problem and shady friends.  Maybe she should work on that.
 
2017-06-30 07:35:21 AM  
Also, stop bringing Grey Goose or Crystal Skull vodka to parties and preening like some pretentious douchecanoe. Nobody gives a shiat about your overpriced celebritard-hyped hooch.
 
2017-06-30 07:35:52 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-06-30 07:38:52 AM  

timujin: mrwknd: Stopped reading after "drains my Svedka, which had been hiding in the freezer as my Secret Luxury Liquor for Special Occasions (other Great Recession survivors will recognize this desperate hoarding behavior)."

Isn't that stuff like $15 for a handle?


its about $23 for 750ml

i buy it but for cheap mixing vodak. another farker suggested sobreiska sp? and i picked up a bottle of that recently. about same price.
 
2017-06-30 07:42:53 AM  
Half of it is quality and half is presentation.

They key to booze is, as she hinted, volume as much as presentation.  If you show up with a bottle of something then it's the property of the party and by extension the person throwing it.  If you only want it for yourself and don't want to share it then do what normal people do; bring it in a flask.  No reasonable person asks for anyone to share what's in a flask unless they're pinned down in a foxhole or they're an asshole, in which case you can come up with a good solid excuse to get them to fark right off (I backwashed in it, I have mouth sores, etc).

If you don't want to share beer then don't bring it.  Unless you have significant dietary concerns that prevent you from consuming other things then tough shiat.  Having been a beer snob since the early 90's I can tell you that it was SOP to have anything good I brought to parties immediately ganked while I got left to drink Coors out of a keg.  You need to come up with something that you enjoy and are willing to part with.  If you can't bear to part with it then drink it at home.

And yes, I have had parties where guests honed in on my "good stuff" and I told them to piss off.  You don't have to be mean about it saying something like "I'm not prepared to see two c-notes worth of booze get decimated by people who won't remember it in the morning."

Or, just tell them to fark off.  It'll go a long way to helping the fact that such a thing isn't being heard by enough people in this world.
 
2017-06-30 07:44:15 AM  

timujin: My cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 388x588]

My less cheap booze for parties:

[img.fark.net image 588x588]


Would you like to come over Saturday, or any other day?
 
2017-06-30 07:48:15 AM  

viscountalpha: Also, they are making Zima again. I'm morbidly curious.


I picked up a six-pack for nostalgia's sake. Waiting for a friend to return from vacation before cracking one open.
 
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