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(All Access)   Woman calls police three times wanting to buy crack cocaine   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

16891 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2004 at 10:55 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

79 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2004-05-21 10:11:55 AM  
Drugs are bad, m'kay.
2004-05-21 10:31:14 AM  
Well she WAS desperate to get some so I guess that counts as an emergency so maybe she dialed 911.
2004-05-21 10:58:15 AM  
They can legally sell her some, and then arrest her for it.

/take the crack-ho to jail
2004-05-21 10:59:19 AM  
"Do I sound like a cop"

No, you sound like a moron.
2004-05-21 10:59:39 AM  
C'mon, really, it's not like the cops don't have any laying around in the evidence room. And it'll just sit there anyways.

Maybe she was just doing her city duty of helping to balance the town's budget.

2004-05-21 11:02:34 AM  
Stupid Crack User of the Day

So there are smart ones?
2004-05-21 11:04:01 AM  
2004-05-21 11:04:06 AM  

LOL, my thoughts exactly
2004-05-21 11:04:43 AM  
A whole new level of dumbassary.
2004-05-21 11:05:06 AM  
It sounds like she was just calling the place that had the largest supply onhand. Not *really* all that dumb.
2004-05-21 11:06:36 AM  
Maybe the police should set up a hotline for crack users to call... I can hear it now...

"For crack cocaine, Press 1... "
2004-05-21 11:06:57 AM  
Are we sure this wasnt Whitney Houston?
2004-05-21 11:07:26 AM  
No no no... you don't call 911 for a crack deal!

That's just silly. You call the officer's cell phone number for it.

/captain obvious
2004-05-21 11:07:51 AM  
Now that is a funny story.
2004-05-21 11:09:20 AM  
God I hate pushy people.
2004-05-21 11:11:53 AM  
that article cracked me up
2004-05-21 11:13:21 AM  
2004-05-21 11:14:31 AM  
We have a winner!
2004-05-21 11:14:35 AM  
you've just ot to think they answered the phone with something to the effect of "Police department."

you know, i aint exactly no crack expert, ner nuthin', but i gotta think that shoulda been a clue.

then again, maybe her dealer just has a number real similar to the local pd and a kooky sense of humor - maybe she was used to him pulling this sort of thing when she called.

then again, maybe she REALLY is as stupid as the article makes her seem.

/cough-cough-"crack whore!"-cough-cough
2004-05-21 11:15:56 AM  
Hey Mr. Copper,

You think you're slick
you sold crack to my sister
and now she's sick
but if she happens to die
because of your drug
I'm putting in your culo
a 38 slug.

/dope man
2004-05-21 11:21:08 AM  
there was once with this gal
who wanted some coke
so she called up the police
this aint no joke
along she went
requesting the goods
and she ended up
not in a crackhouse
not in the hood
but alas in a jail cell
for all to mock
for all to whack
the dumbass crackwhore
who called the cops
to get some crack
-timmahsath, circa 2004
2004-05-21 11:21:39 AM  
Seriously, folks. Who doesn't call the police station to get their crack?

Anyone? Anyone?
2004-05-21 11:22:14 AM  
a4dzac: Stupid Crack User of the Day -- So there are smart ones?

Debatably, Marion Barry. Either that or the voters in DC are abysmally stupid. Perhaps both.
2004-05-21 11:23:39 AM  
Daryl Strawberry unavailable for comment.

//waiting for depressing follow-up about her 4 kids...
2004-05-21 11:24:34 AM  
Didn't this happen a couple of days ago in a different town? Doesn't this girl watch CNN?
2004-05-21 11:25:09 AM  
A buddy of mine whose dad was a cop would sometimes give him some weed he took from other kids. Not evidence, but just the stuff he picked up and let the kids go. Whenever "Buster" was on patrol, he'd stop us and ask for a beer. There were some great things about the seventies. As long as we kids weren't breaking stuff, killing people or robbing places, the cops just looked the other way. I demolished my first car (a 67 Caprice SS) by slidding it sideways through a telephone pole, drunk on half a bottle of Southern Comfort. The cops came, called a tow truck and gave me a ride home. Two weeks later I got a bill for $145 for replacing the pole.
2004-05-21 11:34:26 AM  
We had a guy up here at work that was so stupid that he was going to call 911 to come and get him so he could pay his traffic fines.He no longer works here.
2004-05-21 11:35:36 AM  
Anyone else notice how poorly the story is written?

/cranky today
2004-05-21 11:41:05 AM  
You know, if we didn't have this stupid War on Drugs going on, the woman could've just gone to 7-11, picked up some crack, and this whole situation would've been avoided. The woman would be happy off doing her own business, the police could spend their time trying to catch actual criminals, and we as a society wouldn't be spending our time housing, feeding, and prosecuting a woman who hasn't harmed anyone.

But I guess that would just make too much sense.
2004-05-21 11:41:58 AM  

Probably because the writer was gut-laughing for about 3 hours but needed to get the story out. Close enough.
2004-05-21 11:43:44 AM  
"I'm jus' tryin' to get some crack rocks!"
2004-05-21 11:44:39 AM  
She heard there was a free 5 o'clock crack giveaway at the police station, realizing she was going to be late she decided to call in.
2004-05-21 11:44:42 AM  
you've just ot to think they answered the phone with something to the effect of "Police department."

Why should I think that? Seriously, I had to call the police last week and the operator who picked up said, "Yeah?" I had to ask if I was speaking to the police.
2004-05-21 11:48:26 AM  
"I'm gonna be honest with you, Joe Rogan....I smoke rocks."
2004-05-21 11:52:02 AM  

I'm about as libertarian as they come, but anyone who says that COCAINE, of all things, should be freely available at the Seven-Eleven hasn't tried coke lately.

Cocaine is far, far too wonderful a drug to be readily available. Legally or otherwise.
2004-05-21 11:55:34 AM  
I wonder if this was her work as well:

Hey Crackhead!
2004-05-21 11:56:41 AM  
Tyrone Biggums unavailable for comment.
2004-05-21 11:57:38 AM  
Much like strangers have the best candy, cops have the best drugs.

/calls 911
2004-05-21 12:13:25 PM  
we should be more sympathetic and understand her plight.

don't you realize that "crack whore" has been named the number one worst job in america 5 years in a row?
2004-05-21 12:14:36 PM  
my bad
"crack whore" is the second worst job

first is "assistant crack whore"
2004-05-21 12:16:55 PM  
Can't wait for the Smoking Gun pics.
2004-05-21 12:17:02 PM  
But why did she have to call 3 times before they made an arrest?
2004-05-21 12:17:20 PM  

my bad
"crack whore" is the second worst job

first is "assistant crack whore"

I thought that had been replaced by "crack whore trainee"?
2004-05-21 12:21:49 PM  
"I thought that had been replaced by "crack whore trainee"?"

Actually, it's now "Crack Whore Apprentice". It's a new show on NBC where "The Donald" shouts "You're Fired!" from a dark alley.
2004-05-21 12:22:52 PM  

i'm still giggling over the thought of the training manual that accompanies this position...
"No, you smoke your fill, then put these kneepads on...we don't want an OSHA violation, do we?"
2004-05-21 12:31:12 PM  

Yeah, probably. Good point.

/not so cranky anymore
2004-05-21 12:31:58 PM  
I am still lobbying for the ohio tag
2004-05-21 12:34:11 PM  
Stop making fun of my mom!!
2004-05-21 12:38:15 PM  
But why did she have to call 3 times before they made an arrest?

They thought it was a prank caller.
2004-05-21 12:38:17 PM  
Debatably, Marion Barry. Either that or the voters in DC are abysmally stupid. Perhaps both.

Um, I think the latter. Barry ain't smart and neither were the voters.
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