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Fark NotNewsletter: Farking in the hospital
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2017-06-19 11:58:32 AM (63 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

3484 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2017 at 8:36 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



________________________
 
A message from Drew Curtis: 
 
A quick reminder - I know it's a couple of steps to go through, but if you could sign up for either TotalFark or BareFark, and/or sign up a friend, it may not seem like much but it makes a huge difference to us!  Seriously, we would not have made it through the first six months of 2017 without the help of everyone who's signed up so far.  Thank you so much! 
 
We've been highlighting the top entries from a thread about the best things that have happened in real life to folks as a result of being a member of the Fark community, and this week the winning entry is from Zygar:
 
-----
 
Last year I had an aortic dissection, which, long story short, should have killed me. The 11-hour surgery was successful, but they did have to use the paddles to bring me back afterwards. I was fine for a day, but then my breathing became labored and I had to get a trach tube inserted and was put on a ventilator. I was unable to speak or really lift anything for about two months. I used to read Fark to my girlfriend daily before I was hospitalized. At first my visiting hours were just a few hours a day, one hour at a time. The only thing to occupy my time was a TV that I could barely see without my contacts. I was bored out of my mind. My girlfriend (now fiancee) remembered the fun times with Fark and decided to read the headlines to me (and the articles if I raised my hand ) while I was incapacitated. It was the highlight of my day, and really the only time I smiled while there. Now I'm back to semi-normal and still reading Fark every single day to her.
 
________________________
 
We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
 
________________________
 
 
Comment Mentions
 
The number of comments these words were mentioned in on Fark and TotalFark in the past week. Note: This does not mean they were the most-used words
 
Fire Mueller - 214
Witch hunt - 148
London - 321
Steve Scalise - 382
Bacon - 372
 
 
Comment Votes
 
Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
 
Funniest:
stk found a new slogan for Fox News
Mad Scientist reacted to reaction gifs with a reaction gif (warning: this thread is gif-heavy)
Pocket Ninja explained how a shark bite was a sign from God
Mad Scientist shared a reaction to Obama in the gif thread
docpeteyJ thought a ship had an unfortunate name
mrshowrules posted a classic reaction gif
Mad Scientist saw a problem with an article about tricking people with fake outlet stickers
moothemagiccow shared a helpful tweet from Rand Paul
Satanic_Hamster was going to submit this with a better headline
Pocket Ninja summarized an article by a millennial who doesn't like brunch
 
Smartest:
moothemagiccow shared a helpful tweet from Rand Paul
NutWrench had a message for a man who shot his child
Pocket Ninja summarized an article by a millennial who doesn't like brunch
scottydoesntknow shared a message from Jesus
Hyjamon gave some odds for a shooting thread
moothemagiccow explained why Philando Castile was killed
stk found a new slogan for Fox News
rzrwiresunrise figured out why a woman was kicked out of a mall for her attire
pkjun suggested that governments are spending money on the wrong things
docpeteyJ reacted to the idea that rainbows are scaring people away from Disney World
 
TotalFark Discussion:
Note: Comments in this section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers
Smart: Drew gave an update on Fark's financial situation
Smart: Hyperbolic Hyperbole reminded Farkers in TotalFark Discussion to do the needful rather than just complaining about not being listed in the Fark NotNewsletter more often :P
Funny: KiwDaWabbit had encouragement for a Farker who wasn't sure about hitting on an attractive woman who has ugly kids
 
CSB Sunday Morning:  Best CSBs and TotalFark gifts from a thread fan
Smartest:
Praise Cheesus told us about having lunch with Adam West
Funniest: 905 once farted on Rick Perry
 
If you would like to suggest a topic for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please email dugitman.
 
Politics Funniest:
RTOGUY argued that a kid's Trump shirt shouldn't have been altered for a yearbook photo
Redh8t illustrated the White House chain of command
impaler showed the Snekretary's reaction to a Farker's invitation
grokca recognized what happens when Trump won't go somewhere if he'll be booed
BizarreMan found someone's reaction to hearing that Trump might not visit again
 
Politics Smartest:
F5 F5 Esc gave a Briton's opinion of Trump not wanting to visit
Ambivalence commented on Donald Trump's priorities
August11 had some advice for Trump in defending himself against the Russia allegations
RTOGUY argued that a kid's Trump shirt shouldn't have been altered for a yearbook photo
blastoh argued that the Republican Party is a cult
 
Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
pkjun listed the different kinds of Brexit
 
 
Contest Votes
 
Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down
 
Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector came up with a way to make executions more fun
Don_cos showed us what can happen if you play with matches
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a very discourteous driver
Herb Utsmelz uncovered a heinous crime
Octafrye had a suggestion for a giant ape
Surly U. Jest gave this Photoshop figure the proper patina
ionthrust added some cool texture in a coloring contest
Yammering_Splat_Vector thought this fellow looked chilly
RedZoneTuba put a delicious topping on a pizza pie
ionthrust showed what happens when quadcopters go too far
 
Farktography:
henryhill won Farktography Contest No. 632: "Motorcycles" with this great NYC snap
 
If you would like to suggest a theme for a Farktography contest, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.
 
 
Upcoming Fark Parties
 
See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats 
 
Saturday, June 24th: Bay Area Fark Party - Oakland Beer Trail
Wednesday, July 19th: 5th Annual Farks In The Wild at the Buffalo, NY Zoo
 
If you'd like to plan a Fark Party in your area, you can use the Fark Party submission form.
· · ·

63 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-06-19 12:03:22 PM  
Sick Farker.
 
2017-06-19 12:05:18 PM  

NoahBuddy: Sick Farker.


HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

I loved that story :)
 
2017-06-19 12:07:44 PM  
The shark-bite story is about the daughter-in-law of one of my coworkers. If she wasn't so religious, I'd share Pocket Ninja 's post.

Instead I'm just showing a coworker who has a better sense of humor. :D
 
2017-06-19 12:09:11 PM  
Drew, I wanted to re-up TF but I have been having on-going problems with my paypal account.  Why can't we use a credit card?
 
2017-06-19 12:09:29 PM  
Another dissection survivor! We are rare as f*ck, but it's an weird alumnae situation, but it's comforting to see someone else who beat back the Reaper.

Now I have an email to compose, because when you find another survivor...it's courtesy...
 
2017-06-19 12:12:52 PM  

aterry33: Drew, I wanted to re-up TF but I have been having on-going problems with my paypal account.  Why can't we use a credit card?


You can. That option has been available for a long time. :)
 
2017-06-19 12:14:24 PM  
BTW: does anyone have a link to Zygar's thread? I missed it, and I want to welcome our boy to that very tiny club.
 
2017-06-19 12:19:03 PM  
Is the headline sung to the tune of Smokin' in the Boys Room?
 
2017-06-19 12:19:53 PM  

hubiestubert: BTW: does anyone have a link to Zygar's thread? I missed it, and I want to welcome our boy to that very tiny club.


He didn't have his own thread for this as far as I know, but here's where that comment was posted.
 
2017-06-19 12:20:17 PM  

Teaser: Is the headline sung to the tune of Smokin' in the Boys Room?


It is now.
 
2017-06-19 12:21:27 PM  
damn zombie commenters
 
2017-06-19 12:23:05 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: hubiestubert: BTW: does anyone have a link to Zygar's thread? I missed it, and I want to welcome our boy to that very tiny club.

He didn't have his own thread for this as far as I know, but here's where that comment was posted.


Thank you. The Indestructibles of Fark need to get a clubhouse now.
 
2017-06-19 12:25:45 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: aterry33: Drew, I wanted to re-up TF but I have been having on-going problems with my paypal account.  Why can't we use a credit card?

You can. That option has been available for a long time. :)


Ok, I must have missed it, I'll try again, thanks :)
 
2017-06-19 12:26:06 PM  
Fark needs a history tab.
 
2017-06-19 12:30:50 PM  

Julius Pleaseher: Fark needs a history tab.


You mean like a tab with articles about history? I think that idea's been bounced around behind the scenes, but I'm not sure where it landed.
 
2017-06-19 12:34:36 PM  
begin whine:

"Instead of repeating in smartest/funniest, why not choose some other comments and just NOTE that a comment got both under whichever topic they got more votes for?"

/whine
 
2017-06-19 12:38:55 PM  

hubiestubert: Another dissection survivor! We are rare as f*ck, but it's an weird alumnae situation, but it's comforting to see someone else who beat back the Reaper.

Now I have an email to compose, because when you find another survivor...it's courtesy...


My (at the time) 80 year-old FIL went through a similar thing.  He was going through a routine MRI for his kidneys when they noticed he had an abdominal aneurism in his aorta.  We monitored it for years until it reached what they thought was critical mass  (6cm, IIRC)   Then they put a stent in to bypass it.  Four years later, they noticed the stent had 'slipped' and scheduled him for another 'routine' surgery to re-position/replace it.  Five days later, we buried him.  He bled-out right there in ICU.  Sorry to be a bummer, but I'm 60 and haven't been to a doctor in 20 years.  And I plan on keeping it that way.  DNR on file.
 
2017-06-19 12:39:07 PM  

mama2tnt: begin whine:

"Instead of repeating in smartest/funniest, why not choose some other comments and just NOTE that a comment got both under whichever topic they got more votes for?"

/whine


I don't go to your work and tell you how to s-- never mind.
 
2017-06-19 12:43:16 PM  

mama2tnt: begin whine:

"Instead of repeating in smartest/funniest, why not choose some other comments and just NOTE that a comment got both under whichever topic they got more votes for?"

/whine


You mean, like the post about RAND PAUL?

/I just wanted to type "RAND PAUL"
//RAND PAUL
 
2017-06-19 12:52:50 PM  
Heck no.  That is what put my wife in the hospital the last time.
 
2017-06-19 12:55:57 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: I don't go to your work and tell you how to s-- never mind.


Boss?

/oops
 
2017-06-19 12:57:41 PM  
img.fark.net
Are we not doing these anymore?
 
2017-06-19 12:59:46 PM  

real_headhoncho: [img.fark.net image 640x426]
Are we not doing these anymore?


I was trying to come up with a new one (was unsuccessful), but then y'all started commenting, so I didn't worry about it. :)
 
2017-06-19 01:05:33 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: real_headhoncho: [img.fark.net image 640x426]
Are we not doing these anymore?

I was trying to come up with a new one (was unsuccessful), but then y'all started commenting, so I didn't worry about it. :)


*scrolls up*  Who's y'all? Did he post something borderline and fed his comments to the FarkTM squirrel and you sent him to the cornfield?
 
2017-06-19 01:18:27 PM  

AllYourFarkAreBelongToMe: hubiestubert: Another dissection survivor! We are rare as f*ck, but it's an weird alumnae situation, but it's comforting to see someone else who beat back the Reaper.

Now I have an email to compose, because when you find another survivor...it's courtesy...

My (at the time) 80 year-old FIL went through a similar thing.  He was going through a routine MRI for his kidneys when they noticed he had an abdominal aneurism in his aorta.  We monitored it for years until it reached what they thought was critical mass  (6cm, IIRC)   Then they put a stent in to bypass it.  Four years later, they noticed the stent had 'slipped' and scheduled him for another 'routine' surgery to re-position/replace it.  Five days later, we buried him.  He bled-out right there in ICU.  Sorry to be a bummer, but I'm 60 and haven't been to a doctor in 20 years.  And I plan on keeping it that way.  DNR on file.


In fairness, surviving an aortic aneurysm dissection is a ridiculously tiny club. Most people bleed out in a very short time. Most in their homes or at work or where-ever they're at. Repairing an aneurysm is a serious sort of surgery, but it's not uncommon. When they blow...that's when it get real dicey. I'm sorry for your loss, but I just had another aneurysm repaired this year. 21 years after the first one. And I went in to the doctor, because I noticed something wasn't right, because part of recovery has been biking, and it's not even habit, it's just what I do. When I noticed performance going down, not being able to take hills like I used to, I went in. And found out my aorta was doing an impression of a banana slug, and I got that sh*t repaired. I'm back at work now, and the thing is, everything is a LOT more precious to me now. You can make your own decisions, but you can survive one of these things, and certainly your chances are better if you catch them early. But you have to be your own advocate. Life is too damn precious, and too damn fragile, in my mind, to chance it. It's also too damn precious and too damn fragile to not live a life because of being scared. Like anything, it's a balancing act.
 
2017-06-19 01:22:56 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Julius Pleaseher: Fark needs a history tab.

You mean like a tab with articles about history? I think that idea's been bounced around behind the scenes, but I'm not sure where it landed.


Yes. As it stands now, history articles get submitted to the main page. There's already stiff competition for the main page for general news. Historical references tend to be obscure so even if you come up with that witty headline for the anniversary of the eruption of Krakatoa, or the Battle of Somme, or Peary and Henson reaching the North Pole, odds are few will get it.

Basically, there are quite a few farkers who have rather astounding historical knowledge. It would be nice to be able to engage them regularly instead of waiting for the next blue moon for a relevant article that gets greened or just threadjacking a somewhat related thread.
 
2017-06-19 01:29:40 PM  

Julius Pleaseher: DisseminationMonkey: Julius Pleaseher: Fark needs a history tab.

You mean like a tab with articles about history? I think that idea's been bounced around behind the scenes, but I'm not sure where it landed.

Yes. As it stands now, history articles get submitted to the main page. There's already stiff competition for the main page for general news. Historical references tend to be obscure so even if you come up with that witty headline for the anniversary of the eruption of Krakatoa, or the Battle of Somme, or Peary and Henson reaching the North Pole, odds are few will get it.

Basically, there are quite a few farkers who have rather astounding historical knowledge. It would be nice to be able to engage them regularly instead of waiting for the next blue moon for a relevant article that gets greened or just threadjacking a somewhat related thread.


I'll bring it up again, but in the meantime (or if it doesn't happen), you can always submit them to the discussion tab.
 
2017-06-19 01:33:24 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-06-19 01:34:30 PM  

Julius Pleaseher: As it stands now, history articles get submitted to the main page.


History in MY Fark??? But...wouldn't that cause a great many argu-

Oh. Never mind.

/keep your peanut butter out of my chocolate?
 
2017-06-19 01:35:08 PM  

Julius Pleaseher: DisseminationMonkey: Julius Pleaseher: Fark needs a history tab.

You mean like a tab with articles about history? I think that idea's been bounced around behind the scenes, but I'm not sure where it landed.

Yes. As it stands now, history articles get submitted to the main page. There's already stiff competition for the main page for general news. Historical references tend to be obscure so even if you come up with that witty headline for the anniversary of the eruption of Krakatoa, or the Battle of Somme, or Peary and Henson reaching the North Pole, odds are few will get it.

Basically, there are quite a few farkers who have rather astounding historical knowledge. It would be nice to be able to engage them regularly instead of waiting for the next blue moon for a relevant article that gets greened or just threadjacking a somewhat related thread.


I'd LOVE a history tab, fwiw!
 
2017-06-19 01:37:50 PM  

Julius Pleaseher: Basically, there are quite a few farkers who have rather astounding historical knowledge. It would be nice to be able to engage them regularly instead of waiting for the next blue moon for a relevant article that gets greened or just threadjacking a somewhat related thread.


What some call "threadjacking" is what other people call "putting things into perspective"...
 
2017-06-19 01:38:12 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 360x264]


That's amazing. I'm stealing it. Did you make it or did someone else?
 
2017-06-19 01:40:35 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 360x264]

That's amazing. I'm stealing it. Did you make it or did someone else?


I only added the phrase at the bottom.
 
2017-06-19 01:43:47 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: DisseminationMonkey: Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 360x264]

That's amazing. I'm stealing it. Did you make it or did someone else?

I only added the phrase at the bottom.


Well done.
 
2017-06-19 01:44:54 PM  
raerae1980:
I'd LOVE a history tab, fwiw!

I know. That's why I made the request. I'm still waiting to hear your opinion on the reforms of Justinian I. :)
 
2017-06-19 01:50:18 PM  

Julius Pleaseher: raerae1980:
I'd LOVE a history tab, fwiw!

I know. That's why I made the request. I'm still waiting to hear your opinion on the reforms of Justinian I. :)


Oh, my bad!   Where did we leave off the discussion?
 
2017-06-19 01:53:41 PM  

hubiestubert: AllYourFarkAreBelongToMe: hubiestubert: Another dissection survivor! We are rare as f*ck, but it's an weird alumnae situation, but it's comforting to see someone else who beat back the Reaper.

Now I have an email to compose, because when you find another survivor...it's courtesy...

My (at the time) 80 year-old FIL went through a similar thing.  He was going through a routine MRI for his kidneys when they noticed he had an abdominal aneurism in his aorta.  We monitored it for years until it reached what they thought was critical mass  (6cm, IIRC)   Then they put a stent in to bypass it.  Four years later, they noticed the stent had 'slipped' and scheduled him for another 'routine' surgery to re-position/replace it.  Five days later, we buried him.  He bled-out right there in ICU.  Sorry to be a bummer, but I'm 60 and haven't been to a doctor in 20 years.  And I plan on keeping it that way.  DNR on file.

In fairness, surviving an aortic aneurysm dissection is a ridiculously tiny club. Most people bleed out in a very short time. Most in their homes or at work or where-ever they're at. Repairing an aneurysm is a serious sort of surgery, but it's not uncommon. When they blow...that's when it get real dicey. I'm sorry for your loss, but I just had another aneurysm repaired this year. 21 years after the first one. And I went in to the doctor, because I noticed something wasn't right, because part of recovery has been biking, and it's not even habit, it's just what I do. When I noticed performance going down, not being able to take hills like I used to, I went in. And found out my aorta was doing an impression of a banana slug, and I got that sh*t repaired. I'm back at work now, and the thing is, everything is a LOT more precious to me now. You can make your own decisions, but you can survive one of these things, and certainly your chances are better if you catch them early. But you have to be your own advocate. Life is too damn precious, and too damn fragile, in my mind ...


I wish you nothing but the best.  And thank you.  My FIL was one helluva man.  I just can't help but think how much longer he may have lived had they not tried to 'fix' him.  Granted, he was a couple weeks short of his 85th birthday when he passed, but still, I wonder.
 
2017-06-19 02:25:46 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-06-19 02:45:02 PM  
I can't put this in the thread it appeared because it's locked now from 3 months ago(and I'm a dirty lurker who mostly hangs in the politics threads) but one of the articles I wrote got featured here at Fark and I didn't find out til today and it MADE MY LIFE. ONE OF MY TFA GOT TORN APART BY FARK, I'M SO HAPPY. It was about the HAM radio closing and how I know nothing about HAM (which I don't) and if one of you farkers would have emailed me to let me know I'd have made a correction XD
 
2017-06-19 02:50:17 PM  
One more.

img.fark.net
 
2017-06-19 02:59:02 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: One more.

[img.fark.net image 300x168]


You were in that thread. I am the girl and fark is the pie. I've loved this site since I was a teenager. I'm framing that thread and this thread
 
2017-06-19 03:10:58 PM  
Fark totally is my personal erotica site. Ok, back to lurking in politics
 
2017-06-19 03:14:00 PM  

Ruggahissy: Fark totally is my personal erotica site.


"And Fark's server fails with the sudden influx of clicking on Ruggahissy's profile...."

/poor Mike
 
2017-06-19 03:20:15 PM  

raerae1980: Julius Pleaseher: raerae1980:
I'd LOVE a history tab, fwiw!

I know. That's why I made the request. I'm still waiting to hear your opinion on the reforms of Justinian I. :)

Oh, my bad!   Where did we leave off the discussion?


I don't want to threadjack here so unfortunately you'll have to fill me in another day. I'll try to submit an article on the Byzantines to TFD this week; hopefully it will attract your attention.
 
2017-06-19 04:01:36 PM  

Julius Pleaseher: raerae1980: Julius Pleaseher: raerae1980:
I'd LOVE a history tab, fwiw!

I know. That's why I made the request. I'm still waiting to hear your opinion on the reforms of Justinian I. :)

Oh, my bad!   Where did we leave off the discussion?

I don't want to threadjack here so unfortunately you'll have to fill me in another day. I'll try to submit an article on the Byzantines to TFD this week; hopefully it will attract your attention.


Okay :-D
 
2017-06-19 04:35:26 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Julius Pleaseher: Fark needs a history tab.

You mean like a tab with articles about history? I think that idea's been bounced around behind the scenes, but I'm not sure where it landed.


Probably the dustbin.
 
2017-06-19 04:39:22 PM  
Thanks for including pkjun's Brexit post in the "Bonus FarkStaff Pick".

img.fark.net

This was me while reading it. My sides ache from laughing so much.
 
2017-06-19 05:16:47 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-06-19 05:43:50 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Julius Pleaseher: DisseminationMonkey: Julius Pleaseher: Fark needs a history tab.

You mean like a tab with articles about history? I think that idea's been bounced around behind the scenes, but I'm not sure where it landed.

Yes. As it stands now, history articles get submitted to the main page. There's already stiff competition for the main page for general news. Historical references tend to be obscure so even if you come up with that witty headline for the anniversary of the eruption of Krakatoa, or the Battle of Somme, or Peary and Henson reaching the North Pole, odds are few will get it.

Basically, there are quite a few farkers who have rather astounding historical knowledge. It would be nice to be able to engage them regularly instead of waiting for the next blue moon for a relevant article that gets greened or just threadjacking a somewhat related thread.

I'll bring it up again, but in the meantime (or if it doesn't happen), you can always submit them to the discussion tab.


Does everything submitted to the Discussion tab automatically show up there? And is it the same for TF Live and TF Advice? I had taken an internet break for a few months last October into the early part of this year, and didn't see the info when those were launched.
 
2017-06-19 05:44:53 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 360x264]


You always have stuff I've never seen before!
Just wanted to say I really enjoy that.
 
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