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(FOX6Now)   Machete-wielding homeowner fends off 5 would-be robbers in what barely qualifies as news in Florida   ( fox6now.com) divider line
    More: Florida, armed robbery, Robbery, sarasota county, surveillance video, Sarasota County Jail, Burglary, Crime, Police  
•       •       •

4173 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2017 at 8:35 AM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2017-06-19 07:54:21 AM  
Of course all are legal residents.
 
2017-06-19 08:38:20 AM  
Disarmed him! I'd pay to see that!
 
2017-06-19 08:39:11 AM  
Was this a sporting machete, or was this an assault machete?
 
2017-06-19 08:40:15 AM  

pcwolf: Disarmed him! I'd pay to see that!


Dang, beat me to it
 
2017-06-19 08:41:56 AM  
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a machete.
 
2017-06-19 08:42:00 AM  
Handsome Boy Modeling School dropouts.
 
2017-06-19 08:42:33 AM  
Was there a hyphen sale?
 
2017-06-19 08:47:12 AM  
Welcome to Trump's America.

/Thanks Donnie
 
2017-06-19 08:47:43 AM  
At least they arrest them in FL.  My husband caught two guys trying to break into our house and held them there with an axe until the cops got there.  Police stations was 3 blocks away and it took them 20 minutes to get there.  Then they tried to talk him out of pressing charges because they'd be out soon anyway (they just didn't want to do the paperwork).  Gotta love NJ.
 
2017-06-19 08:51:06 AM  

RJReves: Was there a hyphen sale?


Because. Look up why PIcasso took his mother's maiden name.
 
2017-06-19 08:51:23 AM  
No matter how you slice it. This guy is no hack.
Pretty sharp to defend yourself this way.
I think the intruders got the point.
 
2017-06-19 08:51:59 AM  

RJReves: Was there a hyphen sale?


What is up with that, seriously?
 
2017-06-19 08:52:10 AM  

idrow: tried to talk him out of pressing charges


What kind of dirty pigs do you hav....oh, New Jersey.
Never mind.
 
hej [TotalFark]
2017-06-19 08:55:06 AM  

idrow: At least they arrest them in FL.  My husband caught two guys trying to break into our house and held them there with an axe until the cops got there.  Police stations was 3 blocks away and it took them 20 minutes to get there.  Then they tried to talk him out of pressing charges because they'd be out soon anyway (they just didn't want to do the paperwork).  Gotta love NJ.


In other words, vigilante justice is the only justice.
 
2017-06-19 08:56:03 AM  

RJReves: Was there a hyphen sale?


I don't think they've gone on sale yet...

i.ytimg.com
 
2017-06-19 08:56:05 AM  
Homeowner should go to jail.  I work in the school system and there is a reason that we teach nonviolent resolution techniques.  The homeowner escalated the situation to violence and the man with the shotgun could have been hurt.

The correct response in this instance would have been the anti-bullying techniques which have been licensed and registered in the state of Massachusetts.  You stick your palm in the individuals face, and you say, with one forceful breath, "Stop bullying me!"  If this fails to resolve the situation, you immediately contact an adult supervisor and allow that person to take corrective action.

These techniques have been tried and tested in schools all around the country and have a success rate nearing 17 percent.  I am currently compiling legislation that would make daily training for these techniques compulsory up to the ninth grade, and if this legislation passes, that number will undoubtedly raise several percentage points.

I apologize for getting so worked up about this, but every time I see a human being resort to violence, I get so angry, makes me want to punch things.  You have an entire generation that is learning violence can be used to resolve violent situations, and it's wrong, I'm just sorry, it is.
 
2017-06-19 08:58:04 AM  

lycanth: Of course all are legal residents.


I would assume in Floriday, sporting an English name would label you as an illegal until the mid 1800s.  Unless your name was Ponce and unless it was between 1763 and 1783 when it was temporarily British..
 
2017-06-19 09:02:37 AM  

idrow: At least they arrest them in FL.  My husband caught two guys trying to break into our house and held them there with an axe until the cops got there.  Police stations was 3 blocks away and it took them 20 minutes to get there.  Then they tried to talk him out of pressing charges because they'd be out soon anyway (they just didn't want to do the paperwork).  Gotta love NJ.


Depends on the town. When I lived in NJ the response time was like 2 minutes.
 
2017-06-19 09:03:27 AM  
don't bring a gun to a machete fight
 
2017-06-19 09:03:47 AM  
Don't they just give you a machete at the border?  They should.
 
2017-06-19 09:05:54 AM  
That video cracked me up.
Someone should add Yakkity Sax to it.
I feel sorry for the one guy who was compliant at first.
As an aside, why do homeowners have better video systems then businesses?
Most of their videos come out all fuzzy.
 
2017-06-19 09:07:04 AM  

fireclown: Was this a sporting machete, or was this an assault machete?


Depends on whether it had a folding stock or bayonet lug.
 
2017-06-19 09:09:15 AM  

Bowen: idrow: At least they arrest them in FL.  My husband caught two guys trying to break into our house and held them there with an axe until the cops got there.  Police stations was 3 blocks away and it took them 20 minutes to get there.  Then they tried to talk him out of pressing charges because they'd be out soon anyway (they just didn't want to do the paperwork).  Gotta love NJ.

Depends on the town. When I lived in NJ the response time was like 2 minutes.


I lived in Garfield at the time (northern NJ).  I'm sure if the break-in occurred in Alpine or Upper Saddle River, they would have been there in 2 minutes.
 
2017-06-19 09:09:42 AM  

GDubDub: RJReves: Was there a hyphen sale?

What is up with that, seriously?


The way names work in Hispanic countries is that children get the paternal name from both parents, usually with the father's first. For example, the infamous Hugo Chavez's actual name was Hugo Rafael Chavez Frias. In typical English usage, the final name (Frias in that case) is disregarded.

So the child of Maria Lopez Martinez and Juan Garcia Cruz would be Pedro Garcia Lopez, and he'd be known as Pedro Garcia.

I'd guess that in this case, they gave their names at booking in the standard form, and the guy who wrote the story put in hyphens because he didn't know that Pedro Garcia Lopez is Pedro Garcia, not Pedro Garcia-Lopez, and thought he was "fixing" it.
 
2017-06-19 09:09:53 AM  

GDubDub: RJReves: Was there a hyphen sale?

What is up with that, seriously?


There were even a couple left over for subby to use.
 
2017-06-19 09:11:30 AM  

Claude Ballse: RJReves: Was there a hyphen sale?

I don't think they've gone on sale yet...

[i.ytimg.com image 850x562]


I'd hyphenate her, iykwim.

Gotta love the daisy-dukes.
 
2017-06-19 09:13:16 AM  

Worldwalker: GDubDub: RJReves: Was there a hyphen sale?

What is up with that, seriously?

The way names work in Hispanic countries is that children get the paternal name from both parents, usually with the father's first. For example, the infamous Hugo Chavez's actual name was Hugo Rafael Chavez Frias. In typical English usage, the final name (Frias in that case) is disregarded.

So the child of Maria Lopez Martinez and Juan Garcia Cruz would be Pedro Garcia Lopez, and he'd be known as Pedro Garcia.

I'd guess that in this case, they gave their names at booking in the standard form, and the guy who wrote the story put in hyphens because he didn't know that Pedro Garcia Lopez is Pedro Garcia, not Pedro Garcia-Lopez, and thought he was "fixing" it.


 yer damn-useful and accurate information has-no place on fark
 
2017-06-19 09:19:14 AM  

RJReves: yer damn-useful and accurate information has-no place on fark


But if I couldn't be pedantic, I couldn't be anything! :p

What I'm really doing this morning (mostly, working on font design) is putting me to sleep. So I'm chugging energy drinks and nattering on Fark. I'm not sure it's helping, but it's more fun.
 
2017-06-19 09:22:33 AM  
Too bad the homeowner didn't hack off the robbers head once he had him under control.
 
2017-06-19 09:27:50 AM  
Why would you bring a gun if you don't intend to use it?  That just adds years to your sentence.
 
2017-06-19 09:29:04 AM  

lycanth: Of course all are legal residents.


img.fark.net
 
2017-06-19 09:30:07 AM  
So not one of those idiots had a gun? Really?
 
2017-06-19 09:30:08 AM  

puckrock2000: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a machete.


img.fark.net
 
2017-06-19 09:31:01 AM  

jmr61: So not one of those idiots had a gun? Really?


worse... the guy with the gun was the one who he disarmed and held for the police... I can't imagine how bad it's going to go in jail for him.
 
2017-06-19 09:31:06 AM  
nerdpopculture.files.wordpress.com
 
2017-06-19 09:33:05 AM  

his name is my name too: puckrock2000: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a machete.

[img.fark.net image 570x381]


I was wondering when he was going to show up.
 
2017-06-19 09:34:41 AM  
Another successful case of Defensive Machete Use. The following two topics will not be discussed:

1. Was the machete legally owned?

2. How many cases of Offensive Machete Use occur in the US?
 
2017-06-19 09:37:07 AM  
I'm all for this shiat...love a machete and all...
But DAMN, that was risky...he was staring down the business end of a 12 gauge shotgun and JUST KEPT COMING.
We're talking ALL BALLS, NO BRAINS...if dude had wanted to end him, machete dude would've eaten point blank lead from that shotgun.
He's seriously lucky those home invaders were pussies.
What the homeowner did would have gotten you killed 9 time out of ten...
Not saying sit back and be violated, but damn he's lucky he didn't get shot. Badly.
 
2017-06-19 09:42:01 AM  
Was that a collection of mug shots or was it promo shots for a gay boy band?

/nttawwt
 
2017-06-19 09:47:26 AM  

Rawhead Rex: But DAMN, that was risky...he was staring down the business end of a 12 gauge shotgun and JUST KEPT COMING.
We're talking ALL BALLS, NO BRAINS...if dude had wanted to end him, machete dude would've eaten point blank lead from that shotgun.


Either way, you're placing a bet and taking your chances.  He could have done exactly what the criminal with the gun told him to do, and the guy could still have shot him.  So you have to make a decision to fight or comply, and either way can get you killed.
 
2017-06-19 09:48:59 AM  

Rawhead Rex: I'm all for this shiat...love a machete and all...
But DAMN, that was risky...he was staring down the business end of a 12 gauge shotgun and JUST KEPT COMING.
We're talking ALL BALLS, NO BRAINS...if dude had wanted to end him, machete dude would've eaten point blank lead from that shotgun.
He's seriously lucky those home invaders were pussies.
What the homeowner did would have gotten you killed 9 time out of ten...
Not saying sit back and be violated, but damn he's lucky he didn't get shot. Badly.


I'm not so sure that shotgun was loaded.  I find it difficult to believe he didn't fire at a guy coming at him with a big knife just by reflex alone.
 
2017-06-19 09:50:48 AM  

Mike_LowELL: Homeowner should go to jail.  I work in the school system and there is a reason that we teach nonviolent resolution techniques.  The homeowner escalated the situation to violence and the man with the shotgun could have been hurt.

The correct response in this instance would have been the anti-bullying techniques which have been licensed and registered in the state Commonwealth of Massachusetts.  You stick your palm in the individuals face, and you say, with one forceful breath, "Stop bullying me!"  If this fails to resolve the situation, you immediately contact an adult supervisor and allow that person to take corrective action.

These techniques have been tried and tested in schools all around the country and have a success rate nearing 17 percent.  I am currently compiling legislation that would make daily training for these techniques compulsory up to the ninth grade, and if this legislation passes, that number will undoubtedly raise several percentage points.

I apologize for getting so worked up about this, but every time I see a human being resort to violence, I get so angry, makes me want to punch things.  You have an entire generation that is learning violence can be used to resolve violent situations, and it's wrong, I'm just sorry, it is.



/ftfy
 
2017-06-19 09:58:56 AM  
Does the home owner text?
 
2017-06-19 09:59:26 AM  

his name is my name too: puckrock2000: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a machete.

[img.fark.net image 570x381]


That's one sharp dressed man!
 
2017-06-19 10:06:53 AM  

his name is my name too: Rawhead Rex: I'm all for this shiat...love a machete and all...
But DAMN, that was risky...he was staring down the business end of a 12 gauge shotgun and JUST KEPT COMING.
We're talking ALL BALLS, NO BRAINS...if dude had wanted to end him, machete dude would've eaten point blank lead from that shotgun.
He's seriously lucky those home invaders were pussies.
What the homeowner did would have gotten you killed 9 time out of ten...
Not saying sit back and be violated, but damn he's lucky he didn't get shot. Badly.

I'm not so sure that shotgun was loaded.  I find it difficult to believe he didn't fire at a guy coming at him with a big knife just by reflex alone.


It's not at all uncommon for robbers to have broken or unloaded guns.  If they had money for a working firearm and ammunition they likely wouldn't be reduced to robbing residences.  Street toughs don't really have any opportunity to practise with their guns and likely don't have the  tools or experience necessary to maintain them.

The gun in question is a pump action shotgun and an inexperienced user could very easily put shells in the tube, and then assume they just pump to load their first shell and never see or know about the slide release until it's time to shoot.

That said there is no way the dude with the machete could have known this so he has some balls.
 
2017-06-19 10:10:09 AM  

his name is my name too: puckrock2000: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a machete.

[img.fark.net image 570x381]


Could you imagine if he ever tumbled down the stairs in that?
 
2017-06-19 10:10:19 AM  

NotThatGuyAgain: Was that a collection of mug shots or was it promo shots for a gay boy band?

/nttawwt


It was a motley crew.
 
2017-06-19 10:12:14 AM  

fireclown: Was this a sporting machete, or was this an assault machete?


Yes.
img.fark.net
Shooting Machetes
 
2017-06-19 10:16:17 AM  

Rawhead Rex: I'm all for this shiat...love a machete and all...
But DAMN, that was risky...he was staring down the business end of a 12 gauge shotgun and JUST KEPT COMING.
We're talking ALL BALLS, NO BRAINS...if dude had wanted to end him, machete dude would've eaten point blank lead from that shotgun.
He's seriously lucky those home invaders were pussies.
What the homeowner did would have gotten you killed 9 time out of ten...
Not saying sit back and be violated, but damn he's lucky he didn't get shot. Badly.


If the shotgun was a regular full length hunting weapon vs. a short defense/police model it isn't too hard to imagine how the gun wielder might have been disarmed.  (begin harp music and wavy let-you-know-its-imagination-time screen)  When the barrel of the long gun comes through the door it can be grabbed by the machete holder.  Once that happens, given the mechanical advantage of holding the stick at the far end vs. the closer hand-hold position the shooter is engaged in, the weapons muzzle is going to be held off-target fairly easily with one hand.  Then the machete holder will make it clear with a couple demonstration hacks he is about to take the gun-holder's hands or head off...and the gun gets surrendered.  (end harp music)
 
2017-06-19 10:36:15 AM  

his name is my name too: jmr61: So not one of those idiots had a gun? Really?

worse... the guy with the gun was the one who he disarmed and held for the police... I can't imagine how bad it's going to go in jail for him.


Either the gun was unloaded, and they thought they could just bluff, or he was too scared to actually kill someone. He is lucky he didn't die or lose a limb.
 
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