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(Motor Racing Network)   Brad is a horsie, Kyle is a Shrub, Danica is a person with feelings, and it's not a chicken it's a baby as the NASCAR Monster Chiller Horror Theater Cup Series heads to Michigan for the FireKeepers Losers Weepers Casino 400, 3pm ET on FS1   ( mrn.com) divider line
    More: Live, Sprint Cup Series, Monster Energy NASCAR, NASCAR Cup Series, Energy NASCAR Cup, Jeff Gordon, NASCAR XFINITY Series, Dale Earnhardt, Tony Stewart  
•       •       •

236 clicks; posted to Sports » on 18 Jun 2017 at 2:30 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



335 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-06-18 06:46:09 AM  
White-hot gas mileage excitement!
 
2017-06-18 07:52:56 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: White-hot gas mileage excitement!


I like fuel mileage races.  At least its not like tracks that have NO excitement.  And we all know there are far too many of those.
 
2017-06-18 09:28:58 AM  
I drove by the track yesterday. Luckily it was early and not completely packed yet. Parade of the trucks carrying the already done cars came through town last night.

Chance of some morning rain, but just briefly.
 
2017-06-18 11:18:30 AM  
fark FS1.
 
2017-06-18 01:26:16 PM  

Are you not sports entertained?

img.fark.net
Nap begins at lap 2.  Before your Michigan-induced coma, here's....

Your weekly NASFARK checklist!  Ever-changing and updated on-the-fly, just like the NASCAR rulebook, but not written on an Etch-A-Sketch!
(Created and tweaked by bluorangefyreDanZero, with contributions from Professor FarksworthQueenMamaBeeMzltplx, and a bunch of other Fark racing fans!)


1) Hardcore gredunzas count, and every 1,100th post is a form of, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"   (Defending double winner:  DanZero - claimed at the World 600!)
1.MIC)  Post 1,262 is any form of, "Forget the double and screw the gredunza, I've done the triple!!!"  (Defending triple winners:  mikaloyd & bluorangefyre - simulclaimed at the Daytona 500!)
2) While we were away!
3)  Constant reminders that Junior is retiring and what it'll do to the sport
4) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
5.1)  NO KYLE BUSCH IDOLS DUE TO THEY'RE FARKING DANGEROUS!!!
6) BOOGITY in some form when race starts
7) Green flag pit party
8) The inevitable race commentator foul up
9) Phantom cautions (Use Code 4-n, where n=car number of the beneficiary)
10) Pony deployment if Danica wrecks or is in the top 10
10.1) UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL Q/DISCORD BE DEPLOYED!
11)  HARUMPH! at each "competetion" caution or segment caution, and checking Brainless Fat France the Least's moisture levels
12-4-A1) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins and celebrations from his fan(s)
12-4-A2) Every single driver tries to take out Team Penske, specifically HWSNBN 2.2
13) Race is official when any BK Racing driver, ABow, or Michael Annett brings out the caution (can be more than one)
14) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
15) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track
16) Something not meant to catch fire does
16.1) Something not meant to fly does
17) Shut up DW!
17.1)  Referring to DW as 'Lawler' when he starts talking about Danica
18) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
19) "Because #3 car" or "Crayons!"
20) Red flag classic car parade
21) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination that it won't end well
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Idol collateral damage warning
24) DanZero's commercial/side-by-side mid-race report and recap
25) The Bestest with your current standings
26) Danica will kick somebody in the family jewels even after having something mansplained to her
27) "Here comes Dick Trickle!"
28) No third slashie because fark Austin Dillon!
29) Harvick shoves somebody into a fight
30) Do NOT deploy narwhals unless you want Macarena
31) Somebody questions the checklist
 
2017-06-18 01:27:35 PM  
Also, congrats to my Pens for winning Lord Stanley's Cup again!
img.fark.net
 
2017-06-18 02:32:06 PM  
world.korupciya.com

SOMEONE ASKED ME FOR AN AUTOGRAPH!!!  I'M A HUMAN BEING DAMMIT!!!
 
2017-06-18 02:36:31 PM  
So what'd everybody do today?
 
2017-06-18 02:44:07 PM  
Wow, Fox, interviewing Erik Jones about  his recently dead father on Father's Day.

Will the next segment be Mikey tap dancing in Steve Byrne's grave while Bryson watches on?
 
2017-06-18 02:48:14 PM  

emonk: So what'd everybody do today?


Checking in...Watch the finish of LeMans then back to bed...
 
2017-06-18 02:50:44 PM  
Maybe we'll get lucky, and Shrub will find Horsie before the end of Lap 1 and decide to introduce himself again.
 
2017-06-18 02:51:34 PM  

ClavellBCMI: Maybe we'll get lucky, and Shrub will find Horsie before the end of Lap 1 and decide to introduce himself again.


media4.s-nbcnews.com
 
2017-06-18 03:01:04 PM  

foo monkey: fark FS1.


So, you thought Fox would bump the final round of the U.S. Open for the FireKeepers?
 
2017-06-18 03:02:06 PM  
Where's my mute button?
 
2017-06-18 03:02:07 PM  
You shouldn't be bragging that she's yours, Michigan International Speedway.
 
2017-06-18 03:03:25 PM  
Couldn't just sing it but had to put her spin to it....
 
2017-06-18 03:03:32 PM  
This was the "drunk karaoke chick who's had one too many and thinks she's Bette Midler" version of the anthem, wasn't it?
 
2017-06-18 03:04:58 PM  

bluorangefyre: 5.1) NO KYLE BUSCH IDOLS DUE TO THEY'RE FARKING DANGEROUS!!!


If Kyle starts like he did yesterday they won't have time to even get warmed up
 
2017-06-18 03:06:44 PM  

ElectricPeterTork: This was the "drunk karaoke chick who's had one too many and thinks she's Bette Midler" version of the anthem, wasn't it?


Phrasing was wrong. Breathing in the wrong places. Started flat. Tempo was inconsistent.

The only good thing is that there were no flourishes at the end.
 
2017-06-18 03:07:11 PM  

ElectricPeterTork: This was the "drunk karaoke chick who's had one too many and thinks she's Bette Midler" version of the anthem, wasn't it?


Seems like every week the Xfinity Anthem singer should do the Cup race, and the Cup race singer should be put to pasture
 
2017-06-18 03:08:09 PM  
I assume Asshat is writing the letter to his dad in crayon, and using a lot of crude stick figure drawings.
 
2017-06-18 03:08:17 PM  
They could be writing , Beer, Chips, Hot Dogs, Feed the cat...
 
2017-06-18 03:09:57 PM  
Waiting for the ode to military dads segment of the race

ALL THE 'MURICAS!!!!
 
2017-06-18 03:10:09 PM  
That duo won a Grammy ?
 
2017-06-18 03:10:26 PM  
DW , maybe it's time to call it quits...
 
2017-06-18 03:11:11 PM  

AngryDesertDweller: They could be writing , Beer, Chips, Hot Dogs, Feed the cat...


The Dillon Brothers with a special Father's Day message:

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2017-06-18 03:12:39 PM  

ElectricPeterTork: I assume Asshat is writing the letter to his dad in crayon, and using a lot of crude stick figure drawings.


thanks dad for marrying into a race team
 
2017-06-18 03:13:22 PM  

emonk: So what'd everybody do today?


Visited my dad for a bit. Ya know since he forgot my birthday again, it's the least I could do. >:(
 
2017-06-18 03:13:34 PM  
Read a really interesting xkcd piece last night about the G-forces at Daytona.  Basically it details several ways to kill a NASCAR driver without wrecking.  It's here.
 
2017-06-18 03:13:54 PM  

AngryDesertDweller: DW , maybe it's time to call it quits...


Maybe ? Like with your racing career it is embarassingly long overdue and take you brother with ya
 
2017-06-18 03:14:07 PM  

img.photobucket.com



Members of NASFARK,

FireNappers 400 is on!

Let's get a look at the naptastic past.

2014 - 19 breaks (on TNT, with a break on the very first lap which was a caution! Imagine FOX going to a break right after BOOGID-----)
2015 - 12 breaks (mercifully rain-shortened)
2016 - 17 breaks

Goal is set to 15!

Next week will be better, I promise! (Sonoma/Road America)

Your IN RACE COMMERCIAL REPORTER IS KEEPING THE FLAME ON DUTY.
 
2017-06-18 03:14:21 PM  

AngryDesertDweller: DW , maybe it's time to call it quits...


just now it's time?
 
2017-06-18 03:14:49 PM  
My picks , #4 Happy, #14 Clint and #41 Meds...
 
2017-06-18 03:15:09 PM  
Oh Fark. I forgot to do my Pooltracker lineup.
 
2017-06-18 03:16:18 PM  

AngryDesertDweller: My picks , #4 Happy, #14 Clint and #41 Meds...


www.racintoday.com

WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?
 
2017-06-18 03:16:19 PM  

QueenMamaBee: Oh Fark. I forgot to do my Pooltracker lineup.


I did too a few weeks ago. I'm still down around 70 pts. It was so much easier last year
 
2017-06-18 03:17:16 PM  

ElectricPeterTork: AngryDesertDweller: My picks , #4 Happy, #14 Clint and #41 Meds...

[www.racintoday.com image 300x199]

WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?


Isn't everybody against her ?
 
2017-06-18 03:17:18 PM  
until a few weeks ago i thought bowyer's crew chief was named 'bugger' ravic, not bugarewicz
 
2017-06-18 03:17:33 PM  
Heh. Ball shifter
 
2017-06-18 03:17:38 PM  
I forgot to switch my drivers so I've got 4,17, 31, 77 again.
 
2017-06-18 03:18:38 PM  
harrumph
 
2017-06-18 03:19:01 PM  
20 41 42 77
 
2017-06-18 03:19:25 PM  

AngryDesertDweller: ElectricPeterTork: AngryDesertDweller: My picks , #4 Happy, #14 Clint and #41 Meds...

[www.racintoday.com image 300x199]

WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?

Isn't everybody against her ?


I wouldn't say I'm against her.  However I sure as FARK don't like her much.  As long as she rolls around in the mid 20's I'm fine with that.
 
2017-06-18 03:19:36 PM  

QueenMamaBee: Heh. Ball shifter


nbcnascartalk.files.wordpress.com
 
2017-06-18 03:19:38 PM  
the groove is in the heart
 
2017-06-18 03:20:16 PM  

ElectricPeterTork: QueenMamaBee: Heh. Ball shifter

[nbcnascartalk.files.wordpress.com image 610x343]


Are you on a new alt today?
 
2017-06-18 03:21:04 PM  
DW is drunk already
 
2017-06-18 03:21:51 PM  

QueenMamaBee: DW is drunk already


What did he even say there?

LET'S GO #$(*&#(*$#YDHFLJKHRKLSDHF!!!
 
2017-06-18 03:22:24 PM  

DanZero: QueenMamaBee: DW is drunk already

What did he even say there?

LET'S GO #$(*&#(*$#YDHFLJKHRKLSDHF!!!


I believe that's a direct quote
 
2017-06-18 03:22:26 PM  
Harumph coming??

RAIN?!

or just cause
 
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