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(Modesto Bee)   Man sets underwear on fire after "accident" in Walgreens bathroom, prompts evacuation   ( modbee.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, 45-year-old Andrew Cheadle, Fire, Sergeant, American films, Modesto Police Sgt., Bathroom, Randy Anderson, Toilet  
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3063 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2017 at 11:28 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-06-17 09:58:55 PM  
Steve Hinkley said he'd had an accident and was trying to get his underwear off but couldn't, so he used a lighter to burn them off.

img.fark.net
 
2017-06-17 11:29:52 PM  
Sounds like he evacuated first.
 
2017-06-17 11:30:57 PM  
So he crapped his pants and then tried to burn his underwear off.

I'm gonna have to try that next time.
 
2017-06-17 11:31:36 PM  
Yeah, whenever my underwear is difficult to remove, I reach for my Bic, too

/don't even act like you haven't
 
2017-06-17 11:35:14 PM  
img.fark.net

img.fark.net
 
2017-06-17 11:35:44 PM  
A flamethrower is more efficient
 
2017-06-17 11:37:52 PM  
c1.staticflickr.com
 
2017-06-17 11:37:59 PM  

MSBFDffpm: A flamethrower is more efficient


Yeah, but they're really more for home use due to the bulkiness
 
2017-06-17 11:40:03 PM  
img.fark.net
seems relevant
 
2017-06-17 11:42:01 PM  
Steve Hinkley said he'd had an accident and was trying to get his underwear off but couldn't, so he used a lighter to burn them off.

Seems like a reasonable course of action.
 
2017-06-17 11:47:54 PM  
[insert Taco Bell joke]
 
2017-06-17 11:49:19 PM  

almejita: So he crapped his pants and then tried to burn his underwear off.


We call that a "Nugent" 'round these parts.
 
2017-06-17 11:49:32 PM  
Did not RTA, but I'm glad he had time to dispose of his dope and rig after nodding off and setting himself on fire.  The guy may have a drug problem, but at least he can think on his feet.
 
2017-06-17 11:57:28 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-06-17 11:58:38 PM  
[Yo came Taco Bell joko]
 
2017-06-18 12:04:36 AM  

hawaiijenno: [img.fark.net image 425x377]


Good.  Gonna need it

img.fark.net
 
2017-06-18 12:18:00 AM  
I guess you could say he was
*Takes off sunglasses*
Going commando
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah
 
2017-06-18 12:27:26 AM  
He was trying to get the shiat-soaked underpants off without getting shiat on his legs.  He didn't have scissors so he tried burning them off.  No big mystery, no meth required to explain it.

As for why his underpants were shiat-soaked, I'd look into his last meal.
 
2017-06-18 12:51:54 AM  
Is this not a thang wheer you peeple live cawse I don't no nobody don't carry no liter casin they need ta bern offen a shiat filled pair of draws.
 
2017-06-18 01:22:50 AM  
"Man sets underwear on fire.."

I read that as underwater at first and thought that was a hell of a feat!
 
2017-06-18 01:26:08 AM  

Boo_Guy: "Man sets underwear on fire.."

I read that as underwater at first and thought that was a hell of a feat!


Same here.  Satan David Blaine would probably accept that challenge.
 
2017-06-18 01:34:23 AM  
My wife burned a hole in her panties. I come home from the field one day and my wife met me up at mah front door. She was just wearing some panties, and the whole crotch was gone. She puts her hand down round her pussy and she sez  "Hey, ya'nt some of this?" And I sez back "Hell no woman. Look what et it to your undies!"

\Just joking. I *did* have sex with her.
\\I didn't say it twice
\\\big as a house
 
2017-06-18 01:40:07 AM  
And although asbestos diapers may cause horrible ass and ball cancer, they seem a preferable option to the incident which unfolded here.
 
2017-06-18 02:10:03 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: He was trying to get the shiat-soaked underpants off without getting shiat on his legs.  He didn't have scissors so he tried burning them off.  No big mystery, no meth required to explain it.

As for why his underpants were shiat-soaked, I'd look into his last meal.


Phrasing...
 
2017-06-18 02:28:26 AM  
Did he have the Ryan's macaroni and beef or something?
 
2017-06-18 04:36:32 AM  
Liar, liar!
 
2017-06-18 05:52:16 AM  

jaytkay: [c1.staticflickr.com image 500x500]


i672.photobucket.com
 
2017-06-18 05:54:27 AM  
Look, who hasn't had a dreaded shart at an inopportune time? (Not that there is an opportune time for it). I was installing a drive through system at a new construction Wendy's and my brother sharted. He didn't know what do to, so he went into the walk in cooler, stripped off his underwear, and slid them under one of the racks.
Well, the cooler was nice and cold, so it's not like they'd stink up the place. But if any of you got brown tomatoes on your chicken club, he is totes sorry.
 
2017-06-18 06:24:08 AM  
For some reason, I think the poo bandit in this was, um, cognitionally challenged, iykwim.
 
2017-06-18 06:46:40 AM  
Aint nobody got time for dat.
 
2017-06-18 09:05:57 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: He was trying to get the shiat-soaked underpants off without getting shiat on his legs.  He didn't have scissors so he tried burning them off.  No big mystery, no meth required to explain it.

As for why his underpants were shiat-soaked, I'd look into his last meal.


Not even with your eyes !
 
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