Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Talking toilet orders men to sit down   ( divider line 114
    More: Strange  
•       •       •

8237 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 May 2004 at 8:28 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

114 Comments   (+0 »)

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
2004-05-20 08:58:03 PM  
It's become very apparent that the majority of farkers have no significant other.
2004-05-20 08:58:06 PM  
Every custodian you will ever ask will assure you of the same fact: Women's bathrooms are far nastier and more unsanitary than men's.
2004-05-20 08:58:47 PM  
<b>text that's bold goes here</b>

There ya go!
2004-05-20 09:00:06 PM  
i wonder how many of them have been recovered by water-treatment plant workers. i know i'd flush the thing.
2004-05-20 09:01:34 PM  

Well, what do you expect what with the couches and all? Cleanliness?

/wouldn't be surprised to find a vending machine in one...
/to answer Emilykp you use the code with < b> stuff </b> -- hopefully fark won't filter that to unreadability.
2004-05-20 09:01:42 PM  
BTW, when I pee it's like indirect fire. I have to use a forward observer.

"Request fire mission, over."

"Roger, Tango charlie one. Fire for effect."

"End fire mission."
2004-05-20 09:02:25 PM  
Load up on chicken vindaloo and then grease the seat,that'll show it who's boss.
2004-05-20 09:02:44 PM  
That's axiomatic, ONeal.
If they did, most of their wives would nag them until they stop farking and 'stop wasting time and do something for us*' (*her).

If they had wives they wouldn't have any time free for farking.
2004-05-20 09:05:12 PM  
Panda and Optimus - Thanks!
2004-05-20 09:05:19 PM  
If I ever come across one of those I'm peeing on the floor. Or I'll leave the seat down while I take a standing leak.
2004-05-20 09:06:52 PM  
Gee, I just saved a lot not buying this toilet...
2004-05-20 09:06:55 PM  
Anyone ever sit down on a toilet only to discover that one of those one sheet at a time toilet paper rollers is installed. I thought the sheer audacity of placing that in men's room was astounding until I read this quote from the article.

"Hello, what are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a right mess..."

The paper roller is easily remedied with one good kick. I take it this... "inovation" can be dealt with similarily.
2004-05-20 09:08:00 PM  
I for one salute our talking toilet overlords.
2004-05-20 09:09:04 PM  
Huh. And I thought the Germans were into pissing all over everything.
2004-05-20 09:09:28 PM  
What do I do if I have to puke?
2004-05-20 09:11:03 PM  
Dano - You can puke, but just make sure you put the toilet seat up first.
2004-05-20 09:11:41 PM  
Wife: "Hi hon, how was your day?"

Husband: "Well, the strangest thing happened. When I went to take a leak after I came home, the toilet got all uppity. Said I'd make a mess if I pissed into it standing up."

Wife: (curious and smiling) "So did you take the toilet's advice?"

Husband: "I figured I probably should. After I put the lid back down, I walked over to the sink and pissed in it. It didn't complain."
2004-05-20 09:14:07 PM  
How soon before someone modifies one to say "Ow! Lay off the ding-dongs, bubblebutt" for the ladies' room?
2004-05-20 09:15:48 PM  
Is this for public restrooms? I can't see how this would be even moderately acceptable in a domestic setting. If a girl I was seeing had one of these, I'd climb out the bathroom window and never come back.
2004-05-20 09:16:03 PM  

Some kids did that for a university final or something.
I think it was on slashdot like a year ago.

Touch sensitive tft screens or something.
They even had a picture of some girl with a water bottle
contraption between her legs so she could try too.
2004-05-20 09:17:16 PM  
I bet they get a co-branding deal with Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up.
2004-05-20 09:17:48 PM  
2004-05-20 09:17:52 PM  
Baaaa, everyone always has my idea first it seems. I'll never find my "pet rock"
2004-05-20 09:22:23 PM  
Stupidiest. Invention. Ever.

$10 on the fact it will make guys piss on the seat more so out of spite.
2004-05-20 09:25:29 PM  
If only they could make splash-proof crappers, I will be happy. Nothing worse in this world than dropping a log and getting a shot of cold, dirty water on the starfish.
2004-05-20 09:26:26 PM  
FYI, penes, I believe, is the proper Latin plural for penis.

And if you want the genitive (possessive - heehee, I said 'genitive') case for it, it's apparently penibus. Heehee, penibus.

/latin dork
2004-05-20 09:28:57 PM  
Notice the US is not in the list of countries it's being marketed to? I think most reactions on this list indicate why. However, how whipped are Italians, Brits, and Canadians that some firm thinks they won't do the same thing?

On the other hand, this guy pretty much summed up my thoughts when I first read the idea:

"Is ' really class, dat hiring! But I hardly believe ', dat my age dat registered, if de totally knuelle comes in the evening from de Pinte home."
2004-05-20 09:29:05 PM  
Why not just were a diaper all the time? Then non of this would be a problem.

Please are just so stupid.
2004-05-20 09:29:49 PM  
2004-05-20 09:30:01 PM  
Talking toilets?

What's next? Talking Toaters?

[image from too old to be available]
2004-05-20 09:33:45 PM  
pee in the sink
2004-05-20 09:34:48 PM  
wow... that post made no sense :/
2004-05-20 09:38:12 PM  
2004-05-20 09:38:42 PM  
I'd ignore it.
2004-05-20 09:44:58 PM  

I meant YMMV. I can't type worth a danm.
2004-05-20 09:45:04 PM  
If only they could make splash-proof crappers, I will be happy. Nothing worse in this world than dropping a log and getting a shot of cold, dirty water on the starfish.

Try this: Take toilet paper strips and let them float on top of the water. You will have no more splashes. It will however cause toilet paper to not last as long.
2004-05-20 09:47:08 PM  
I don't even put the seat back down. Any honest analysis of the logic shows that it is just as valid to argue that women should put the seat back UP when they are done squatting. Any male who gives in to this idiotic foolishness deserves his pussyfied fate. Anyone try to tell me to put the seat back down I would just laugh at them for being and idiot.
2004-05-20 09:47:38 PM  
what a perfect gift for teresa to buy john kerry.

of course, that eunich probably already pees sitting down.
2004-05-20 09:47:44 PM  
As a former janitor, I have to second Nanookanoo's comment. Public ladies' rooms were typically about twice as nasty, and about four times as likely to have heroin parahpernalia. The emplyee restrooms were about equal, though. So, I'd say crackhead/whitetrash ladies' restrooms are way worse, normal peoples' don't differ significantly on the basis sex.
2004-05-20 09:59:19 PM  
This reminds me of the battles I used to have with my Mother-in-law. She used a more low tech strategy to hinder any attempt to piss standing up. That's right she used the "very thick lid". So thick the seat couldn't get past vertical and wouldn't stay up.

She first used this stupid fuzzy cover over the lid. I would simply take it off and drop it on the floor. Eventually she got a lid that was extra cushy, and extra thick. This drove me crazy. I'm over 6 feet and simply couldn't stand to piss and hold on to the lid simultanously (like her shorter husband and son could do). Eventually, in a fit of rage (I really am a calm and gentle person) I tore off the lid and put is next to toilet.

She must have gotten the hint never put another lid on the stupid toilet.

(I think this has been theraputic)
2004-05-20 10:01:10 PM  
Red Slayer: Just because you work with the people doesn't mean they're "normal." Just today, one of my co-workers got curious about the cooler that had been sitting on the top shelf of the breakroom for, like, ever. On opening it, he discovered a bottle of cologne floating in ancient vomit.


On a side note, I've decided that removing the toilet seat altogether might be a better idea than peeing on it.
2004-05-20 10:02:00 PM  
Who does the voice for the talking toilet?
2004-05-20 10:02:47 PM  
you dont say i discovered this on my own like a month ago. i was so proud of myself.
also completely eliminates any sound produced on impact.
2004-05-20 10:04:34 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

One of my son's favorite books. He's 8 years old, but somehow I feel that the average farker would probably find it quite amusing, based on the typical thread content
2004-05-20 10:06:36 PM  
Agreed. There were some real weirdos there. I was just contrasting them with the crackheads, white trash, and poor sphinter/bladder control crowd that seemed to frequent the public one. I don't know how many times we had to scrub some couch or other because some homeless person passed out on a couch and then pissed/shiat themselves. Normal really just means won't "shotgun", as we used to call it, all over the back of the toilet, back and side walls. We're talking at least a gallon feces, ALL OVER the goddam thing. It happened about 2-3 times a week, but only in the public restroom.
2004-05-20 10:14:50 PM headline wasn't funny enough.
2004-05-20 10:21:22 PM  
Maybe next they'll invent a levitating robot pod that fires laser bolts at any male who dares to pee while standing. What's with this insistance on placing the seat back down -- they should be eternally grateful the guy is thoughtful enough to lift the seat. Why do some women demand the right to throw themselves at the toilet without looking?
2004-05-20 10:30:37 PM  
Most do not realize that this is a mainly German thing. The toilets there are vastly different from the ones elsewhere. I'd go into detail, but this website will tell you all you need to know, and believe me, it's worth the click. To give you a teaser, here's an image from the site:
[image from too old to be available]

Ok, now that you've looked at the website, you'll see why the Women there don't want the men standing up. They have barely nothing to aim at! Most of the toilet is a flat shelf, which is sure to splatter everywhere. Their solution? Sit down.


No wonder the Germans love David Hasselhoff....or something.
2004-05-20 10:45:07 PM  
Ah yes. I worked in Germany in the seventies. I remember the 'shelf'. The flush sweeps it forwards as well. After a night of too many schnitzels and altbier, I would sit there above an ever-growing stalagmite and worry that the next flush might sweep the whole mess right out of the bowl and into my pants.

I heard somewhere that the shelf is to allow easy inspection of the stool. People who eat uncooked, smoked sausage tend to get a lot of intestinal parasites. I don't know if it's true.
2004-05-20 11:11:00 PM  
Id have one question for the woman who installed this.....

"Hey honey, where's the sink?"

[image from too old to be available]
Displayed 50 of 114 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

In Other Media

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.