If some uppity toilet tried to tell me what to do, I'd piss all over the damn room just to show it who's boss.

Men need to mark their territory, and no talking crapper is gonna stop me!

These are going to be the nastiest bathrooms around... I would so piss on that farking thing. Talk about how NOT to get a guy to aim properly.

Warren Schmidt surrenders.

Does anybody have a link to that Arabic bathroom sign that directs men to sit during urination? It's amusing.

Wow, this sounds like a good way to ensure I just piss all over the bathroom, then the biatch who installs this POS can clean it all up.

and if you follow the instructions, it then snips the obvously ineffectual low-hanging fruit.

Some days I hate women. Seriously. If your man can't aim, don't spend money on a talking toilet. Just han him a damn mop and bucket.

They can make me sit down when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.

I prefer sitting down, especially at night. I don't have to turn the light on and wake myself up.

/enthusiasm fully curbed

I would put the seat down and pee all over the seat. See how she likes that.

Solution: Leave the seat down while urinating standing up. biatch will get the hint soon enough.

Alsace - I too prefer sitting down. When I stand, it sort of makes a mess.

It's not really the poor aim, but the microscopic splash back that occurs...

I'll be sure to hose the ghost down, short his shiat out, I'm like annie oakley in there.

Jack Nicholson surrenders.

i have the perfect solution:

pee out the window. problem solved

Crap surrenders!

Here is a translated German site about this device, with a picture.

God damn it, women, stop trying to emasculate men. We have peni for a reason.

BTW, anyone else here a fan of the old punk band, Rudimentary Peni?

I wish the guys in my dorm would put the farking seat up...

not to mention just walk their lazy asses to the boys bathroom down the hall...

A toilet yelling at you in German...

Every day another of my nightmares comes true.

Ever since we could afford a house with more than 1 bathroom my wife and I each have our own crapper. It's just easier. Toilet time is the one thing you really don't need to share with your spouse (YMMW).

Dhakbar
Peni is not the plural of penis.

UDel_Kitty

That can't possibly be as disgusting as all the used tampons that went unflushed in my dorm. Blood and feces always trump urine, in my book.

panda

Yes, I know. But I wanted to talk about a band that I sorely miss, which used the non-word "peni." I know that men have penises, not peni.

I'd pee in it.

Random_McEric beat me to it, but I wouldn't take orders from a damn toilet.

What happens if you had diarrhea?

There should be a sound detector for farts and THEN have the german voices come on.

There are plenty of people that have "shy bladders" that can't pee when somone else is nearby. I forsee many urinary tract infections from this thing.

Peni is not the plural of penis

It may not be, but it sure sounds edumacated-like!

/redneck

One night a few years ago, I was at a bar in San Francisco that had only one small bathroom (Dalva, in the Mission District). There was a single toilet in the corner, and it, along with the surroundings, was covered with piss. I couldn't believe guys could aim so poorly. Later, though, an associate offered a more plausible explanation: the mess was due to women who didn't sit, and weren't adept at that method.

Hey Optimus, what part of Buffalo are you from?

dhakbar

Oh, well it extends past them missing the toilet. Blinky guy down the hall can stop clogging up our toilets after he's clogged up both men's bathrooms too...

/apologizes deeply for guys who've had to deal w/ feminine products, girls think it's nasty too

YMMW?

Acronym contest!

Shouln't spill a drop if she swallows it all.

dhakbar

The tampons have feces on them? That is one freaky place you're going to school.

emilykp: located right off of Windspear Ave. by UB south campus.

Originally from Niagara Falls though.

Jeffy Jeff
"YMMW"? I can't find what that means and I don't know... I know what "YMMV" is and what "YMMD" is, but, uh.. yeah... YMMW? I found a site that says it means "Your mileage may vary" (like YMMV) but that makes no sense at all... *sigh*

Optimus - Know exactly where you are! I am originally from Amherst.

Ah yes, yet another example of the continued pussification of western culture. How lazy does someone have to be to just put the seat up or down BEFORE they use the crapper? biatches complain that they have to put the seat down or they might fall in. Are you retarded? When I take a dump I ALWAYS CHECK to see where the seat is and happily PUT IT DOWN when I need to. Are women so amazingly lazy they can't do the same? What's that I hear -- "why should we?"??

Why should you have special rights? You can adjust your own damn seat for the same reason I have to lift the seat UP to pee into the toilet while standing -- because it is SIMPLE.

Now shut up and find something important to complain about.

Like nail polish.

Wheres the obligatory "woman's lips" urinal pic?

Oh yeah. ANd how the hell do I do the bold thingy again? I used to know but that was in another life...

does it make a gurgling/choking sound when you pee on it? sounds amusing enough.

I had a great idea for a peeing game. You make a target appear inside the toliet, something like a bullseye or perhaps ducks moving in a row. Then you get points for hitting them.

Fecal Pandora... it makes perfect sense!!!

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=68178

Until that happens.

It's too hard to sit on the sink.

/ and it's a damn pee stream NOT a laser beam. There's side spray like ANY stream of liquid. We'll sit when you get a friggin brain.

It's become very apparent that the majority of farkers have no significant other.

Every custodian you will ever ask will assure you of the same fact: Women's bathrooms are far nastier and more unsanitary than men's.