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(Boston Globe)   Man tries to avoid court appearence by attempting to ship himself to Cape Verde. Does not anticipate shipping company leaving the box he's in on the dock during 90-degree weather. Hilarity ensues   (boston.com) divider line 103
    More: Dumbass  
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25243 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2004 at 10:35 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-05-19 08:48:58 AM
But someone called Somerville police four days later to tell them of Schempp's plan.

Good thing someone was thinking outside the box.
 
2004-05-19 08:57:33 AM
But someone called Somerville police four days later to tell them of Schempp's plan. Somerville, AKA Scummerville, AKA Suburbville... god why am I not surprised to find out this story originates there...
 
2004-05-19 09:08:46 AM
Damn, that's about as bad as being burried alive. Scary.
 
2004-05-19 09:38:35 AM
Heh... Fall River. I'm not suprised
 
2004-05-19 10:14:54 AM
well, alcoholic_entropy, when I think of someone being buried alive, i think of it as being unintentional or against said person's will. this was self-inflicted, which is scary, but only because of the degree of stupidity involved
 
2004-05-19 10:38:05 AM
Did he hide in a hot cocoa sampler box? Now that's hot!
 
2004-05-19 10:38:50 AM
Darwin snaps his fingers. "Missed him by that much."
 
2004-05-19 10:39:47 AM
Full name: Jonathan Schempp Howard
 
2004-05-19 10:39:51 AM

"Schempp had a someone seal him in the crate and drop him off at Atlantic Shipping Co. in Fall River on May 11. But someone called Somerville police four days later to tell them of Schempp's plan."


Police have an APB for the friends that help seal him in the crate; Moe and Larry.


Somervillle and Fall River: two greatly bad taste that never taste great together, or actually separate for that matter.

 
2004-05-19 10:41:39 AM
 
2004-05-19 10:41:46 AM
I think it's hysterical. I have no sympathy whatsoever.
It's comedy gold!!
 
2004-05-19 10:41:51 AM
"Schempp had a someone seal him in the crate and drop him off at Atlantic Shipping Co. in Fall River on May 11."

The Someones strike again.
 
2004-05-19 10:42:04 AM
How could he have possibly thought that was a good idea. What a tard.
 
2004-05-19 10:42:13 AM
He had food, water, and clothing in the box..yet he was dehydrated?
 
2004-05-19 10:44:15 AM
Xuge
The Someones? Sounds like a good name for a band!
 
2004-05-19 10:45:11 AM
It would have been funnier if it was Curly. I was never that fond of Schempp.
 
2004-05-19 10:46:58 AM

Unavailable for comment
 
2004-05-19 10:47:04 AM
Some people shouldn't be allowed to watch cartoons.
 
2004-05-19 10:47:16 AM
Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine!
 
2004-05-19 10:49:23 AM
Actually, I just made that up, but apparently they exist. Google rocks.
 
2004-05-19 10:51:10 AM
I know of someone who shipped himself to a potential employer as a way of 'breaking the ice' for an interview.. His crate was opened up by a very shocked mailroom worker.

He was charged with 'illegal shipping of human body parts'.

Teh funny.
 
2004-05-19 10:53:26 AM
"Man in a Box" lyrics by Alice in Chains in 3...2...1...

/DRTFA
 
2004-05-19 10:54:57 AM
He had warrants for "for minor motor vehicle violations."
Lame.
 
2004-05-19 10:55:25 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! what a dumbass! i hope letterman and leno pick up on this. this is a week's material!
 
2004-05-19 10:55:48 AM
"Schempp had a someone seal him in the crate and drop him off at Atlantic Shipping Co. in Fall River on May 11. But someone called Somerville police four days later to tell them of Schempp's plan."

Someone = Boxer?
 
2004-05-19 10:56:29 AM
Shemp?
 
2004-05-19 10:56:38 AM
What a dumbass! I have driven through Fall River several times, so I am not surprised this happened there (total shiathole).
 
2004-05-19 10:56:50 AM
St_Francis_P
Good thing someone was thinking outside the box.


That's some funny shiat
 
2004-05-19 10:59:20 AM
Er, wouldn't a bus ticket has cost the same as shipping a man-sized box?
 
2004-05-19 11:01:10 AM
Tori Amos unavailable for comment...

 
2004-05-19 11:02:04 AM
St_Francis_P, holy hell, that's funny shiznit!
 
2004-05-19 11:02:42 AM
Funny, because I just realized that most Cape Verdians wind up in Fall River to begin with.
 
2004-05-19 11:03:18 AM
One word: Dumbass.
 
2004-05-19 11:03:29 AM
Next time he'll pay extra for 2nd Day air
 
2004-05-19 11:03:53 AM
bus ticket from Massachussets ot Africa?

yes that works.

unless there is some other Cape Verde.
 
2004-05-19 11:04:44 AM
Waldo Jeffers had reached his limit...

/got nuthin' but "White Light / White Heat"
 
2004-05-19 11:05:14 AM
Did he bring a bunch of Krispy Kreme donuts with him in the box?

/Slummerville, local home of Krispy Kreme Doooooohnuts.
 
2004-05-19 11:05:46 AM
 
2004-05-19 11:05:56 AM
How about packing a hammer and saw next time.
 
2004-05-19 11:06:14 AM
 
2004-05-19 11:07:21 AM
"Schemmp was treated at a hospital for dehydration and arraigned on arrest warrants for minor motor vehicle violations."

Damn, he should have killed someone. He'd be looking at less time in jail for murder than for depriving the city of their revenue.
 
2004-05-19 11:08:51 AM
St_Francis_P

But someone called Somerville police four days later to tell them of Schempp's plan.

Good thing someone was thinking outside the box.


This is the post of the day.
 
2004-05-19 11:09:26 AM


Doubt they woulda chased you this far for "Driving Without a License," Schemmp.
 
2004-05-19 11:11:03 AM
I don't think it's even that bad, apart from the small point of "seal inside" ... if I had myself put in a box for any reason, the one thing I would make absolutely certain of is that I could get out again whenever I wanted, and on my own.

But that's just me, I guess. Schempp is as Schempp does.
 
2004-05-19 11:12:08 AM
WyattEarp
I think you meant to say

Dr Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.

Curly,M oe and Shemp were the Howard brothers along with Larry Fine. And Joe was just an annoying piece of crap.
 
2004-05-19 11:12:59 AM
I'm sure the family would have loved to received the dead body in the mail though. Kinda like Ed McMahon showing up at your front door.

/nuthin'
 
2004-05-19 11:17:32 AM
Doesn't seem to say anything about skipping out on a court appearance in the story. Hmmmmmm ... How that made it into the headline and has gone thus far uncommmented upon is beyond me.

/actually RTFU
 
2004-05-19 11:18:03 AM
Well I guess that doesn't work.. There goes my vacation plans...
 
2004-05-19 11:18:36 AM
OK, I can see how shipping ourself out of the country would be a "good" way to sneak out without anyone knowing, but my God, why would you slate a shipping date for 19 days after your dropped out. Ever hear of express mail?

//Nermil unavalable for comment
 
2004-05-19 11:20:06 AM
 
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