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(Fark)   I accidentally ran over a squirrel driving to work this morning and feel horrible about it. I just needed to get that out   ( fark.com) divider line
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741 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 19 May 2017 at 11:50 AM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-05-19 11:15:31 AM  
A squirrel driving to work?
theequinest.comView Full Size


Sorry subby.
 
2017-05-19 11:18:11 AM  
Don't feel bad, squirrels are suicidal. They make it pretty impossible to NOT hit them with their whole "I'm going to run 95% of the way across the street and then turn around at the last minute and throw myself under your tires" routine.
 
2017-05-19 11:21:39 AM  
I ran over a chicken once, so I'm getting a kick...
 
2017-05-19 11:23:54 AM  
If they could make a decision and stick with it longer than a millisecond we'd be hip-deep in the chittering little bushy-tailed tree rats within a single season

/Nature has a way of balancing these things out
//You were just playing your part, subby
///♫ It's the circle of LLLLL-IIIIIFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEE... ♫
 
2017-05-19 11:29:43 AM  
Happened to a girl I was riding with once.

The worst part was that it was driver's ed. Literally her first time behind the wheel on a public road.  We pulled out of the school parking lot, turned onto the road, and hadn't gone more than 100 yards before the squirrel ran in front of us and the car made that little 'bump' as we went over it. She screamed.

Having a couple of teenage boys in the backseat who instantly burst into laughter couldn't have helped either.
 
2017-05-19 11:30:14 AM  
Seinfeld George and the Squirrel Prognisis
Youtube FieGqyLJYHc
 
2017-05-19 11:32:36 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-05-19 11:33:22 AM  
I understand how you feel.  Lots of trees and lots of squirrels in the area where I live.  Also lots of little cottontail bunnies.  I tend to drive very slow until I get out to the main boulevard, day or night.  I brake for any critter crossing the road.

My moment of absolute horror at hitting an animal with my car came 20 years ago.  I was driving along the freeway at about 2 AM, doing 70 MPH when I had a burst of feathers fly up into my field of vision.  Pulled off at the next exit, pulled the car into a parking lot and discovered I'd hit a white pigeon with my vehicle.  I felt terrible as I removed the remains from the grill of the car and laid it under a tree.
 
2017-05-19 11:37:09 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-05-19 11:39:34 AM  
I almost hit a guy head on the other day who swerved coming around a curve to avoid a squirrel. It's a good thing we were only going <30mph and were both able to stop (without being rear-ended, because it was 5:15pm and there was plenty of traffic) a few feet apart. Think about that a second... he almost caused thousands of dollars in damage, and possible injury to humans to avoid hitting a rat with a fluffy tail.
 
2017-05-19 11:41:58 AM  
Don't feel bad.  Squirrels are tiny little monsters.  That squirrel probably had it coming.  You probably saved someone's life killing that squirrel.  You're a god damned hero, subby!
 
2017-05-19 11:43:17 AM  
One time I went out for a run and there was some asshole dog across the street. It saw me and immediately went into "HEY I'M A DOG F*CK YOU" mode and started to dash across the street to chase and bark at me...

...when it was immediately struck and killed by a passing pickup truck. I didn't even feel remotely bad.

F*cking asshole dog.
 
2017-05-19 11:44:22 AM  
This is sad news.  Poor little squirrel.  It's funny because I stopped in the street this morning to avoid hitting a squirrel.  He/she was small so probably just learning the ropes of food gathering.  Little thing was confused.  Took it a few seconds and maybe some chatter from nearby squirrels to get out of the road.  Squirrels are cool.
 
2017-05-19 11:44:46 AM  
I feel your pain because I have been in the same boat. I just had to convince myself that there are lots of squirrels out there and I didn't have a wreck to avoid hitting it.

 I don't know how I would react if I hit a dog or a cat that was someone's pet though.....
 
2017-05-19 11:49:37 AM  
Don't fool yourself Subby. Given a chance that squirrel would kill you and everyone you love.
 
2017-05-19 11:51:05 AM  
I once hit a jackrabbit while driving my VW Rabbit at highway speeds.  The ensuing mess left one of the poor guy's rear legs dangling from the brake line.

When I got home several hours later, I removed it, and tried to convince my younger sister to keep it as a lucky rabbit's foot.

She wasn't amused.
 
2017-05-19 11:52:23 AM  

NikkiPoooo: I almost hit a guy head on the other day who swerved coming around a curve to avoid a squirrel. It's a good thing we were only going <30mph and were both able to stop (without being rear-ended, because it was 5:15pm and there was plenty of traffic) a few feet apart. Think about that a second... he almost caused thousands of dollars in damage, and possible injury to humans to avoid hitting a rat with a fluffy tail.


That's why they say never swerve to avoid hitting anything you can eat in a single sitting.
 
2017-05-19 11:52:56 AM  
Squirrels, like deer, are complete morons when it comes to cars. I had a deer run into the passenger side door one night while I was driving. That's a special kind of stupid.
 
2017-05-19 11:58:54 AM  
There are railroads tracks near a ConAgra plant I used to drive past.  As they grain cars pass by, grain falls onto the tracks which are lower than the surface street.  I drove over the tracks and didn't notice a flock of morning doves feeding on the grain.  Must have killed like 10 birds.
 
2017-05-19 12:02:54 PM  
Fark those bucktoothed tree-rats!

CSB:
My grandmother taught one to climb up her pants leg to take a nut out of her hand.  The day she decided to show me this amazing feat, I was wearing a suit.  Do you know what toe nails, sharp enough to cling to trees do to legs protected by the thin material of a suit?  He got his nut and almost got one of mine too!
 
2017-05-19 12:03:52 PM  

The Goddamn Batman: Squirrels, like deer, are complete morons when it comes to cars. I had a deer run into the passenger side door one night while I was driving. That's a special kind of stupid.


No shiat, you carjack from the Driver side, not the passenger side.
 
2017-05-19 12:04:40 PM  
It could be worse.

I once took out three raccoons at once while driving back to college after dark.  It wasn't a simple *bump*, but more like a drum solo being played on the underside of my Volvo.
 
2017-05-19 12:05:11 PM  
Hate that feeling.  Was trying to avoid two squirrels chasing each other around when one decided to dart in front of my car anyway.  Saw the other squirrel standing over its fallen comrade in my rear view mirror.  Was hard not to feel like an asshole even though I tried my damnedest.
 
2017-05-19 12:05:17 PM  
<--   FREE SQUIRREL
 
2017-05-19 12:11:55 PM  
Think about it in terms of having run over a rat with a stylish tail.
 
2017-05-19 12:13:04 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
"Oooooooo!" says the squirrelghost.
 
2017-05-19 12:17:32 PM  
Brian chasing squirrel
Youtube _ySshr_5z9Y
 
2017-05-19 12:20:16 PM  

Fear the Clam: "Oooooooo!" says the squirrelghost.


Kenton, TN, home of the white squirrels.

Not albino, either, just snow-white squirrels.
 
2017-05-19 12:23:00 PM  

NikkiPoooo: I almost hit a guy head on the other day who swerved coming around a curve to avoid a squirrel. It's a good thing we were only going <30mph and were both able to stop (without being rear-ended, because it was 5:15pm and there was plenty of traffic) a few feet apart. Think about that a second... he almost caused thousands of dollars in damage, and possible injury to humans to avoid hitting a rat with a fluffy tail.


This right here.  Unless you're on a date, don't even try to avoid the little farks.
 
2017-05-19 12:35:13 PM  

markie_farkie: Fear the Clam: "Oooooooo!" says the squirrelghost.

Kenton, TN, home of the white squirrels.

Not albino, either, just snow-white squirrels.


I'm assuming the local chapter of the KKK drove out the squirrels of color.
 
2017-05-19 12:41:32 PM  

markie_farkie: Kenton, TN, home of the white squirrels.


I hear they're gonna win state this year.
 
2017-05-19 12:52:35 PM  
♪ I crush a squirrel and I liked it
 The look of the squirrely road slick. ♪
 
2017-05-19 12:53:24 PM  
My sister hit a Cooper's hawk. It swooped down to grab a crow that was eating roadkill, and because it came from behind and above her car, she didn't see it until *crunch*. The thing got lodged in the grill. It was still alive and alert.

My sister, heart bleeding and eyes full of tears, called the police. The officer showed up and kind of scratched his head. There was no good way to handle it. Moving toward it at all meant it tried to slash you with its beak. Its feet and tail were wedged in somehow, wings and head were free.

The officer was on the radio with animal control when my sister got a blanket and decided she could maybe wrap it up somehow and help free it. The blanket got slashed open, she got clipped by a wing and knocked backwards... and the bird shook itself loose and flew away.

I guess the moral of the story is: don't get hit by a car.

/CSB
 
2017-05-19 12:54:13 PM  
Was it frantic and indecisive?
 
2017-05-19 12:59:26 PM  

PoweredByIrony: My sister hit a Cooper's hawk. It swooped down to grab a crow that was eating roadkill, and because it came from behind and above her car, she didn't see it until *crunch*. The thing got lodged in the grill. It was still alive and alert.

My sister, heart bleeding and eyes full of tears, called the police. The officer showed up and kind of scratched his head. There was no good way to handle it. Moving toward it at all meant it tried to slash you with its beak. Its feet and tail were wedged in somehow, wings and head were free.

The officer was on the radio with animal control when my sister got a blanket and decided she could maybe wrap it up somehow and help free it. The blanket got slashed open, she got clipped by a wing and knocked backwards... and the bird shook itself loose and flew away.

I guess the moral of the story is: don't get hit by a car.

/CSB


i48.tinypic.comView Full Size
 
2017-05-19 01:07:50 PM  
Ah man, I ran over a squirrel last week. The worst part was I just got the back half of him. He kept scurring a cross the street dragging his back half. I felt like absolute shiat.
 
2017-05-19 01:28:11 PM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size


It tried to move out of the way but it was impossible with those huge nuts :(
 
2017-05-19 01:42:09 PM  
CSB: When I was in high school, one Saturday evening I had just picked up a girl I really liked for our first date. Not a quarter mile from her house, a cat darted out and under the wheels before I could react.

There was an audible CRUNCH sound and my date turned to me with a "How could you?" look. We dated for a while after that, but she never really forgave me for squashing her neighbor's cat.
 
2017-05-19 01:44:59 PM  
About 20 years ago driving through the hills a squirrel ran out in front of my car.
Being a curving road and going about 40mph I didn't dare swerve, that could have been the end of me.
Anyway I felt the bump, looked in my rear-view mirror and saw that it's head was still rolling across the road.
Snapped that thing right off.

/ Yes I felt bad about it, but better him than me.
 
2017-05-19 01:47:43 PM  
2 things:
I live in a rural area with alot of trees so I have dodged many a squirrel. They suck at getting out of the way properly but I didn't hit one for years. First happened to be when I was fairly depressed anyway and it felt terrible. Worse is its buddy was standing over him when I drove back that way, felt worse. But he f'ed up and swerving would be dangerous. Which leads to my second point.

Don't swerve for an animal, it can get you killed. It is ingrained in my brain to think of yourself first. This is because when I was a kid my mom pointed at a scar she has and told me she got in a wreck dodging an animal. Not worth it, squirrel or otherwise. Their is a place in my home town where one direction of the road splits off before an intersection, and their is a rock wall on one side and a drop off on the other. When my wife and I started dating we were on it at night and 2 raccoons were in the road. They ran to the rock wall and 1 panicked at the last second and tried to run back. My moms advice stayed in my head and didn't do much except lay off the gas. I ran over its head with my back tire. I could have lost control if I had swerved because I lost traction for that moment (it was a fair bump) and that would have meant rock wall or 20 ft drop off to the other lane.

I know it sucks subby but your safe and there are 1000 more squirrels within a mile. Nature is cruel but efficient, you provided food for something else.
 
2017-05-19 01:51:01 PM  

MrBallou: CSB: When I was in high school, one Saturday evening I had just picked up a girl I really liked for our first date. Not a quarter mile from her house, a cat darted out and under the wheels before I could react.

There was an audible CRUNCH sound and my date turned to me with a "How could you?" look. We dated for a while after that, but she never really forgave me for squashing her neighbor's cat.


Did you get a second date?
 
2017-05-19 01:54:05 PM  
One more csb in the it could have been worse category: my mom hit a deer on the way to pick me up from a friends house when I was in high school. Shows up with a dents and blood on her SUV. Ok, bad but not too bad right? I shiat you not there was the deers ear stuck on the wiper blade somehow. How that happened in will never know but I saw it and decided to stay the night at my friends.
 
2017-05-19 01:55:55 PM  

PoweredByIrony


I guess the moral of the story is: don't get hit by a car.


That's good advice for just about everyone, I think.
 
2017-05-19 02:05:57 PM  
I ran over a baby bunny with my lawnmower last year, as he was apparently hiding out in some extra tall grass.  Managed to get it out of there without my 1 year old seeing it.  Then saw the mommy bunny looking for it later.  Sad, sad day.

Now the mice that went all John McClane through an exhaust pipe to get into my poured concrete basement and ate/shiat all over a bunch of my stuff those farkers deserved to die.
 
2017-05-19 02:23:42 PM  

HighlanderRPI: MrBallou: CSB: When I was in high school, one Saturday evening I had just picked up a girl I really liked for our first date. Not a quarter mile from her house, a cat darted out and under the wheels before I could react.

There was an audible CRUNCH sound and my date turned to me with a "How could you?" look. We dated for a while after that, but she never really forgave me for squashing her neighbor's cat.

Did you get a second date?


Yeah, but I was always "the cat killer" in her mind, so there was a distance between us. I took her shopping once and she teared up when she saw a fur-trimmed coat. :(
 
2017-05-19 02:23:54 PM  
Hey, free tire grease!
 
2017-05-19 02:24:54 PM  
Aww, subster. Sorry. You sound like a very sweet soul. Hope your weekend is much better.
 
2017-05-19 02:29:43 PM  
I ran over a chipmunk yesterday.  I felt bad.
 
2017-05-19 02:39:18 PM  

sarek_smile: I ran over a chipmunk yesterday.  I felt bad.


Not as bad as the chipmunk did.
 
2017-05-19 02:58:54 PM  

rummonkey: sarek_smile: I ran over a chipmunk yesterday.  I felt bad.

Not as bad as the chipmunk did.


Nonsense.  It probably didn't feel a thing.
 
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