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(BBC-US)   UN counter-terrorism official: Obviously, we need to just ban all luggage, carry-on, and clothing for airline passengers   ( bbc.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Mr Laborde, foreign terrorist fighters, Terrorism, Jean-Paul Laborde, Arabian Peninsula, news agency Efe, new foreign recruits, laptop bomb attack  
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4108 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2017 at 1:35 AM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



58 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-05-18 08:56:08 PM  
If they got rid of all the passengers that would solve the whole problem. or you could pull a trump and not allow any brown people on the planes.
 
2017-05-18 09:28:26 PM  
I'm cool with flying naked. Not sure if everyone else is though.
 
2017-05-18 11:27:03 PM  
assets.amuniversal.comView Full Size
 
2017-05-18 11:28:25 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-05-18 11:47:25 PM  
Eddie Adams Airlines® takes care of all these problems.

At Eddie Adams Airlines®, we come to your house in the middle of the night and drug you into a deep coma state. Then you're loaded into one of our specially equipped vans and transported to the airport and loaded onto our wide body airliners like cord wood.

Upon arrival at your destination, you're transported to your hotel and tucked into your bed. A few hours, you awaken rested and ready to begin your business or vacation stay.
It's the only civilized way to fly.
 
2017-05-18 11:50:43 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Eddie Adams Airlines® takes care of all these problems.

At Eddie Adams Airlines®, we come to your house in the middle of the night and drug you into a deep coma state. Then you're loaded into one of our specially equipped vans and transported to the airport and loaded onto our wide body airliners like cord wood.

Upon arrival at your destination, you're transported to your hotel and tucked into your bed. A few hours, you awaken rested and ready to begin your business or vacation stay.
It's the only civilized way to fly.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-05-18 11:53:21 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


What airline passengers will soon look like.
 
2017-05-19 12:29:56 AM  
Mr Laborde said he did not know whether IS had the capacity to carry out a laptop bomb attack, but he was sure that organised criminal groups could.

Yes, they could do lots of sh*t, but why the f*ck would they do this?
 
2017-05-19 01:27:47 AM  

Sid_6.7: Mr Laborde said he did not know whether IS had the capacity to carry out a laptop bomb attack, but he was sure that organised criminal groups could.

Yes, they could do lots of sh*t, but why the f*ck would they do this?


It's fun to pretend terrorists are just plain criminals.
 
2017-05-19 01:38:39 AM  

naughtyrev: I'm cool with flying naked. Not sure if everyone else is though.


Seeing some people naked would be a crime against humanity. Or a war crime. Or possibly a biohazard. So no, not really.
 
2017-05-19 01:57:41 AM  
If you're scared of being killed by a terrorist and you aren't currently living in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan or a few other places you are simply a giant unamerican pussy who needs to be less of a coward. Cowboy up you pathetic biatches.
 
2017-05-19 02:04:01 AM  
So all that scanning equipment doesn't actually do anything useful.  Now they tell us.  Assholes.
 
2017-05-19 02:04:48 AM  

naughtyrev: I'm cool with flying naked. Not sure if everyone else is though.


You'll need a lot of eyebleach if I'm on the same flight.
 
2017-05-19 02:06:43 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2017-05-19 02:17:34 AM  
Maybe this hyperloop thing isn't such a bad idea after all.
 
2017-05-19 02:19:50 AM  
They'll charge extra for a clean towel to put down on your seat, THAT I'm sure of.
 
2017-05-19 02:25:51 AM  

naughtyrev: I'm cool with flying naked. Not sure if everyone else is though.


For those of us who are fit non-fatties it probably would be an interesting experiment, it's just the amount of eye bleach needed for the people of walmart types without body shame...
 
2017-05-19 02:33:40 AM  
Sitting on a United flight from LAX to Chicago right now....wish me luck!
 
2017-05-19 02:33:48 AM  

naughtyrev: I'm cool with flying naked. Not sure if everyone else is though.


It would be pointless, since someone could just jam a small bomb up their ass in the service of Allah anyway.

Better to just pre-ship our belongings to our intended destinations on a cargo plane and have us quickly and efficiently drop our pants and spread our cheeks, assembly line style, on the way to our flights.
 
2017-05-19 02:34:01 AM  
"Mr Laborde also said Islamic State (IS) fighters returning to Europe would be "more dangerous" than previous waves."

Here's a thought, STOP LETTING THEM RETURN!  Trump tried that but you loons screamed that idea was racist.  Who knew terrorist was now a biological subspecies of the human race.
 
2017-05-19 02:36:56 AM  

Badafuco: Sitting on a United flight from LAX to Chicago right now....wish me luck!


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-05-19 02:39:48 AM  

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: Badafuco: Sitting on a United flight from LAX to Chicago right now....wish me luck!

[img.fark.net image 376x216]


Shakes tiny fist!
 
2017-05-19 02:45:04 AM  

Closed_Minded_Bastage: sex_and_drugs_for_ian: Badafuco: Sitting on a United flight from LAX to Chicago right now....wish me luck!

[img.fark.net image 376x216]

Shakes tiny fist!


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-05-19 02:46:13 AM  

Sean VasDeferens: "Mr Laborde also said Islamic State (IS) fighters returning to Europe would be "more dangerous" than previous waves."

Here's a thought, STOP LETTING THEM RETURN!  Trump tried that but you loons screamed that idea was racist.  Who knew terrorist was now a biological subspecies of the human race.


3/10.  You're being way too obvious.
 
2017-05-19 03:04:12 AM  
But they'll still allow laptops in checked luggage? Something is wrong with this cunning plan.
 
2017-05-19 03:05:14 AM  
16411-presscdn-0-65.pagely.netdna-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2017-05-19 03:06:47 AM  
Whenever someone freaks out about the possibility that an airport scanner might see their pixellated junk, I think "Hey, you people are lucky I showed up wearing pants at all!"

Might want to bring my own towel for the seat though.
 
2017-05-19 03:11:35 AM  
Anyone read to the end of TFA? Last sentence is less bombs in the cabin, many more fires in cargo. Well done safety experts
 
2017-05-19 03:20:30 AM  
Born free, as free as the wind blows
As free as the pubes grow
Born free to follow your heart
Live free and the airline surrounds you
The world still astounds you
Each time you look at next seat
Stay free where no pants divide you
You're free as your hairy ass,
So there's no need to hide
Born free and life is worth living
flapping free and worth living
'Cause you're born free
Stay free where no clothing divides you
You're free as your hairy hide
So there's no need to hide
Born free and life is worth living
But only worth living
'Cause you're born free
 
2017-05-19 03:20:40 AM  
I really don't want to have to fly naked. I just know I'll get some fatty next to me. The big girl who hits everyone in the aisle seats with an ass cheek as we waddles down, and then has to lift your armrest, and jam herself into 1/3rd of your seat while having the nerve to ask you to scoot over a little. Just the thought of her bacon greasy skin sliding down the outside of my leg....ugh. I need an air sick bag.
 
2017-05-19 03:20:50 AM  
Sooo... The French are braver than the US, now.

This is getting more and more hysterical.
 
2017-05-19 03:34:10 AM  
Or we could just say fark it and accept the occasional airliner being blown up as the price for airtravel.

We seem to be ok with all the death on the road or in hospitals or due to smoking and drinking ect.
 
2017-05-19 03:47:24 AM  
UN = United Nations, UKIPmitter.
 
2017-05-19 04:03:20 AM  

tuskahoma man: If they got rid of all the passengers that would solve the whole problem. or you could pull a trump and not allow any brown people on the planes.


You mean the more than 77.5 million people he let in were all white? I did not know that. Thanks for the info.
 
2017-05-19 04:32:08 AM  

lucksi: Or we could just say fark it and accept the occasional airliner being blown up as the price for airtravel.

We seem to be ok with all the death on the road or in hospitals or due to smoking and drinking ect.


The problem is that when a plane crashes it kills hundreds all at once, and people seem to care a lot more about that. If all the people who die in car related accidents died all at once at the same rate as plane crashes you sure as well would see a reaction to that. If this happened with a lot of things that kill many over a long period, like guns, alchohol, drugs and bad health choices there sure as hell would be many more changes related to it. It's dumb, but it is the truth.
 
2017-05-19 04:36:26 AM  
 
2017-05-19 05:38:37 AM  

phygz: It's fun to pretend terrorists are just plain criminals.


Think how much blood and treasure we'd have saved, post-9/11, if we'd done exactly that.
 
2017-05-19 06:37:09 AM  

maxheck: Whenever someone freaks out about the possibility that an airport scanner might see their pixellated junk, I think "Hey, you people are lucky I showed up wearing pants at all!"

Might want to bring my own towel for the seat though.


I worry about cancer.  I avoid the machines and in exchange, I get my bits massaged for free.
 
2017-05-19 06:39:42 AM  

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: naughtyrev: I'm cool with flying naked. Not sure if everyone else is though.

It would be pointless, since someone could just jam a small bomb up their ass in the service of Allah anyway.

Better to just pre-ship our belongings to our intended destinations on a cargo plane and have us quickly and efficiently drop our pants and spread our cheeks, assembly line style, on the way to our flights.


Fark is not your personal erotica site.
 
2017-05-19 07:48:57 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

The future of airline travel
 
2017-05-19 07:55:40 AM  
OMFG!@#  ISIS IS MAKING LAPTOP BOMBZ!  Grampa, what's a lap top?
 
2017-05-19 08:13:44 AM  
(Sigh)
 
2017-05-19 08:15:36 AM  
The Obvious Solution To The Airline Problem (United Airlines)
Youtube 8QTq-HEEnn4
 
2017-05-19 08:28:25 AM  
Or just ban the death cult that made us this way
 
2017-05-19 08:54:53 AM  
For years I've been wondering what they could really do about this. It certainly would be trivial to make a working laptop where all but say a raspberry pi is c4. That said it'd look pretty funny on the X-ray I would think.

Not sure how you'd make one look normal, other than the obvious options like adding a false thickness with a C4 layer, like a double decker taco.
Either way, considering business travel must be the majority of flight, I can't see how banning laptops would work out well for the airlines.
 
2017-05-19 09:01:50 AM  

Elzar: naughtyrev: I'm cool with flying naked. Not sure if everyone else is though.

For those of us who are fit non-fatties it probably would be an interesting experiment, it's just the amount of eye bleach needed for the people of walmart types without body shame...


Haterade don''t have a lot of calories.  Slug another Nalgene bottle full, then head to the gym.
 
2017-05-19 09:02:42 AM  
I'll stand, thanks.
 
2017-05-19 09:20:32 AM  

lucksi: Or we could just say fark it and accept the occasional airliner being blown up as the price for airtravel.

We seem to be ok with all the death on the road or in hospitals or due to smoking and drinking ect.


Oddly, nobody ever seems to think of that one. 5500 car deaths annually, meh, cost of being able to drive here & there as we please. 20 airplane deaths annually ZOMG! TERRORISM! BLOOD! BANS! FREAK! XRAYS! NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN!
 
2017-05-19 09:57:16 AM  

fusillade762: [img.fark.net image 600x600]

What airline passengers will soon look like.


"She's still wearing a buttplug, get her! " will become an affirmative defense when a TSA agent inevitably uses excessive force.

/remember when people used to get dressed up to fly?
//I don't
///I have only been flying the hobo skies for the past decade
 
2017-05-19 11:28:23 AM  

King Something: [16411-presscdn-0-65.pagely.netdna-cdn.com image 850x257]


You would have to pay extra for all that leg room.
 
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