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(Fark)   Ever get the sense that you were supposed to do something, and just didn't manage to remember? Ever think you should write it down so you don't forget? Huh. About that. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread, 4/20 edition   ( fark.com) divider line
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1684 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Apr 2017 at 2:45 PM (30 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-04-20 02:21:05 PM  
It's that time again!  *only slightly delayed*

Are you a writer wanting to etch your name on the world's collective memory?  Are you hoping that, in the annals of literature, you'll be forever remembered?  Did you forget to post the writer's thread yesterday?  I know I did!  Regardless, it's . . .

Through A Scanner Farkly: The 2017 Fark Fiction Anthology

THROUGH A SCANNER FARKLY is a fiction anthology we're putting together from the best writers here in the Fark community, with all proceeds going to charity! That's right, you can share your wisdom and wit with the world, assuming you manage to remember to submit!  And even if the clouds of forgetfulness whisk you away, you can still help out a good cause!

We're looking for previously unpublished short fiction or poetry submissions up to 10,000 words in length, in the genres of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, Humor or Mystery/Thriller.  That's right, this year there's no minimum length, so send us that flash fiction!

We'll be accepting submissions until May 15, and the entries chosen by our panel of editors will be published on Amazon e-books, Amazon Kindle Unlimited and Amazon print on demand for physical bound copies.  You can see what we came up with last year here!

Interested?  If you are, check out the terms and conditions, and then send us what you've got on this page:

Through A Scanner Farkly Submissions
 
2017-04-20 02:24:53 PM  
It's called Proscriptive memory:  remembering things in the future.  Like remembering to do something you know you need to do later.

I have generally a very good memory but my proscriptive memory is shiat.  Even since I was a kid.  Adults kept telling me "No, it's not that you didn't remember, you just didn't care".  No biatch, I completely forgot!  If I have to remember something for tomorrow, I literally have to keep telling myself over and over and over until it happens or I lose it in my sleep.  I have forgotten stuff I needed to do 5 min in the future.  "Oh, don't forget to do that", then gone.
 
2017-04-20 02:51:44 PM  

Ambivalence: It's called Proscriptive memory:  remembering things in the future.  Like remembering to do something you know you need to do later.

I have generally a very good memory but my proscriptive memory is shiat.  Even since I was a kid.  Adults kept telling me "No, it's not that you didn't remember, you just didn't care".  No biatch, I completely forgot!  If I have to remember something for tomorrow, I literally have to keep telling myself over and over and over until it happens or I lose it in my sleep.  I have forgotten stuff I needed to do 5 min in the future.  "Oh, don't forget to do that", then gone.


Perhaps you just don't care about the future.
 
2017-04-20 02:52:42 PM  
Once upon a time there was a stoner who took a bong hit. then he looked around for some Doritos.
 
2017-04-20 02:56:56 PM  
Once upon a time, I had trouble figuring out how to get back down.
 
2017-04-20 02:59:18 PM  
Mmmmm...

After the Sale

PNSFW
 
2017-04-20 03:03:26 PM  
Not a bad week.  Sold a reprint to an anthology.  Been selling mostly reprints lately.  One advantage of being patient.

Work on the novel has mostly been planning.  Last night, I found something that first perfectly into what I've been doing, and which simplified the narrative.  I'll be going back to set the seeds.  I'm still up to 40K words, thought there are things I'll be cutting -- one chapter and one character I really wanted to include, but it's beginning to look more and more as though he serves no function in the story (that can't be done by someone else).
 
2017-04-20 03:44:41 PM  
Thanks to the Internet, every would-be writer or Earnest Scribbler can be igored and forgotten forever in record time.

Like those of us who sent our names to be inscribed on CDs sent to Mars or Deep Space with NASA probes.

Long after we are all dead and gone, some of us will live on to puzzle aliens of the distant future. They will never decode those disks! Neveeeeer!

It is impossible to decode something in an unknown language. Codes are arbitrary (Ferdinand de Saussure). Despite what TV and other fiction tells us, even super-intelligent aliens would have to our languages to recognize a list of names and distinguish it from a number or from Sacred Scriptures.

The most incomprehensible thing ever written by Brantgoose, is, in fact, my name.
 
2017-04-20 03:58:53 PM  
Hi!  Pardon me.  I'm not a writer...  But my sister is!  She did a few articles for writers on "world building" and somedude210 said it would be helpful, so here's the link.  The page further links to four of her articles.  I hope you all find them helpful!

http://kimalexanderonline.com/wp/?p=1746#
 
2017-04-20 04:01:25 PM  
Did you ever think maybe you were the bong?
 
2017-04-20 04:17:49 PM  
It's so weird what happens when you share a story. I wrote something I thought was a completely obvious parody of anti-abortion protest groups as part of the Scifi London 48 hour challenge. Shared it with my group last night and everyone had a different take. Some thought I was making a statement about gay relationships, a trans person thought it was a metaphor for being trans, and one guy nastily commented that I just wanted to bash all religious people. Not one got that it was about forced birth advocates.

Everyone but the "y u h8 religion" guy liked it, though. So it can't be a terrible story, even though it seems like I didn't really get my point across.
 
2017-04-20 04:17:54 PM  

Another Government Employee: Mmmmm...

After the Sale

PNSFW


That was really, really good.
 
2017-04-20 05:15:02 PM  

Ambivalence: It's called Proscriptive memory:  remembering things in the future.  Like remembering to do something you know you need to do later.

I have generally a very good memory but my proscriptive memory is shiat.  Even since I was a kid.  Adults kept telling me "No, it's not that you didn't remember, you just didn't care".  No biatch, I completely forgot!  If I have to remember something for tomorrow, I literally have to keep telling myself over and over and over until it happens or I lose it in my sleep.  I have forgotten stuff I needed to do 5 min in the future.  "Oh, don't forget to do that", then gone.


I tried writing it down the moment I heard it. Later, I'd forget to read my notes. So I wrote "read your notes" on my hand, and it worked, sort of. I forgot where I put my notes.
 
2017-04-20 05:26:51 PM  
Here is my website with some of my writings. Just in case anyone is interested.

http://scottwfowler6.wixsite.com/fowlerfunnyfarm
 
2017-04-20 05:40:24 PM  

withay: Hi!  Pardon me.  I'm not a writer...  But my sister is!  She did a few articles for writers on "world building" and somedude210 said it would be helpful, so here's the link.  The page further links to four of her articles.  I hope you all find them helpful!

http://kimalexanderonline.com/wp/?p=1746#


Thanks! I trust somedude210's judgment whole-heartedly, so I'll check them out.
 
2017-04-20 05:42:54 PM  
After getting comments on my TASF submission I've done some edits and resubmit it tonight.

I also started on writing the sequel to Brass Automatonand think it's coming together nicely.
 
2017-04-20 06:13:48 PM  
(Just a sample)

Majesty had several fine eateries. If food critics had bothered to journey as far as Majesty, several of those fine dining establishments surely would've been generously praised in online restaurant reviews and visited by hordes of hungry foodies. Some of the eateries had been around for as long as three and four generations. But none were finer or more popular in Majesty than Harry Bush's Taco Shop.

Harry Bush was half Korean and half Oregonian. His mother had been a lounge singer in Seoul and his father had been an all-American G.I. Joe whose job had been watching the vulgar and mean-spirited soldiers of Best Korea on the other side of the DMZ through a pair of binoculars making obscene gestures at him for nearly two decades.

Harry was their only son. And it was only until after the ink had dried on his birth certificate that his parents realized their tragic mistake in naming their son. But Harry learned to cope and in time he made delicious hard lemonade out of the lemons that were handed to him.

Harry Bush's Taco Shop was probably the best Mexican restaurant in the entire state. Harry Bush's steak tacos were legendary. Harry's patrons even claimed that his steak tacos were magical and that the steak tacos gave them "powers."

Darrell and Bebe Dunlap had been married for over a decade and were unable to have any children. After moving to Majesty, Darrell and Bebe started to partake of Taco Tuesday specials at Harry's and shortly thereafter Bebe started popping out heirs to the throne. After number seven was born, Darrell and Bebe both went strictly vegan for financial reasons.

Madeleine Pruitt had eaten steak tacos prior to her father's accident. Her father had been working underneath his truck in his driveway when the jack slipped and his beloved truck started crushing him like a bug. Madeleine heard her father holler for help and ran outside to help him. Madeleine sized up the situation in a heartbeat, strode over to the truck like a titan, and not just lifted the truck off of her father, but flung it aside like an empty washtub. Mr. Pruitt's life was saved and Madeleine became a local celebrity. Unfortunately for us, Madeleine had no interest whatsoever in wrestling, professional or otherwise, and her story ends right here.

Lily Baker was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor when she was seventeen. Her parents tried everything they could to save their daughter, including taking her regularly to Harry's for steak tacos. Lily died when she was nineteen. But when she passed, not only were her parents present at her bedside, but also the nice boy who used to serve Lily and her parents at Harry's, and the baby daughter they had together when Lily was eighteen.
 
2017-04-20 06:17:46 PM  
The problem: you're just filling in background and haven't started the story. By the second paragraph, something has to start to happen. You can add background later.
 
2017-04-20 06:48:25 PM  
I was one of the "share your weird/cool Fark story" contest winners; does that count for something?
 
2017-04-20 06:53:47 PM  
A writer buddy had her Harlequin book made into a Lifetime movie that comes out June 2nd.
The upshot? They made the movie without telling her anything about it until it about 48 hours before they started advertising it.
 
2017-04-20 06:56:46 PM  

SVenus: A writer buddy had her Harlequin book made into a Lifetime movie that comes out June 2nd.
The upshot? They made the movie without telling her anything about it until it about 48 hours before they started advertising it.


What did her contract say?
 
2017-04-20 07:02:18 PM  
"It was early in the Writer's Thread submission time table and I'd been a good lad, submitting my work ahead of the deadline. A finely crafted whodunit in under 10,000 words. I received a lovely reception on the other end. Things were looking up for the next FARK anthology until an editor sent me an email calling into question my construction and story line.

"That's when the killings started ... "
 
2017-04-20 07:06:18 PM  

RealityChuck: SVenus: A writer buddy had her Harlequin book made into a Lifetime movie that comes out June 2nd.
The upshot? They made the movie without telling her anything about it until it about 48 hours before they started advertising it.

What did her contract say?


Harlequin, as you can imagine, decides it will own every possible right, and they own the ability to do with the product as they wish. Ms. SV used to be a Harlequin author and the old contracts were all encompassing. In other words, that's what Harlequin can do. I don't know what compensation Harl and the author(&agent)  would get from the production company, but the old contracts would split the "writer's fee" for things like film 50-50.
 
2017-04-20 07:39:28 PM  

toraque: It's that time again!  *only slightly delayed*

Are you a writer wanting to etch your name on the world's collective memory?  Are you hoping that, in the annals of literature, you'll be forever remembered?  Did you forget to post the writer's thread yesterday?  I know I did!  Regardless, it's . . .

Through A Scanner Farkly: The 2017 Fark Fiction Anthology

THROUGH A SCANNER FARKLY is a fiction anthology we're putting together from the best writers here in the Fark community, with all proceeds going to charity! That's right, you can share your wisdom and wit with the world, assuming you manage to remember to submit!  And even if the clouds of forgetfulness whisk you away, you can still help out a good cause!

We're looking for previously unpublished short fiction or poetry submissions up to 10,000 words in length, in the genres of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, Humor or Mystery/Thriller.  That's right, this year there's no minimum length, so send us that flash fiction!

We'll be accepting submissions until May 15, and the entries chosen by our panel of editors will be published on Amazon e-books, Amazon Kindle Unlimited and Amazon print on demand for physical bound copies.  You can see what we came up with last year here!

Interested?  If you are, check out the terms and conditions, and then send us what you've got on this page:

Through A Scanner Farkly Submissions


immagonnahavetocontributeoneoftheseyears....

in the meantime, today's savage chickens was spot on:

img.fark.net
 
2017-04-20 07:46:41 PM  

SVenus: RealityChuck: SVenus: A writer buddy had her Harlequin book made into a Lifetime movie that comes out June 2nd.
The upshot? They made the movie without telling her anything about it until it about 48 hours before they started advertising it.

What did her contract say?

Harlequin, as you can imagine, decides it will own every possible right, and they own the ability to do with the product as they wish. Ms. SV used to be a Harlequin author and the old contracts were all encompassing. In other words, that's what Harlequin can do. I don't know what compensation Harl and the author(&agent)  would get from the production company, but the old contracts would split the "writer's fee" for things like film 50-50.


That's a brutal contract, but I would imagine that's standard for quite a few publishers. There was one advertising on twitter this week for new submissions, but their contract was for the story and whatever world it created. So they could invite other writers to "play in your sandbox." All with a single payment up front too so there was no uncertainty.
 
2017-04-20 07:50:34 PM  

docpeteyJ: Another Government Employee: Mmmmm...

After the Sale

PNSFW

That was really, really good.


Thank you.
 
2017-04-20 08:08:12 PM  
AN OLD FABLE

Misstranslated from the Greek of Aesop

Have you ever heard the tale of the tortoise and the hare?
Here's the way that it was told to me by someone who was there.

The torrid little turtle was really rather tricky.
She told the randy rabbit, "I sure could use a quickie.
We have time if we hurry. I swear I'll never tell.
My friends all say it will do me good to come out of my shell."

So the rabbit gave the turtle an energetic screw
Then rolled over and fell asleep the way men sometimes do
And several hours later he awoke to find
The race was nearly over and he was far behind.

Now he can joke about it for it's all in the past.
He says, "I finished second. The turtle was next to last."
But every newly hatched turtle knows if she would earn first place
She mustn't ever close her eyes until she's won the race.

----------
Yes, my checker says there's only one s in Misstranslated.
 
2017-04-20 08:25:49 PM  
Oops I meant
only two esses in Misstranslated.
 
2017-04-20 09:02:06 PM  

D_PaulAngel: SVenus: RealityChuck: SVenus: A writer buddy had her Harlequin book made into a Lifetime movie that comes out June 2nd.
The upshot? They made the movie without telling her anything about it until it about 48 hours before they started advertising it.

What did her contract say?

Harlequin, as you can imagine, decides it will own every possible right, and they own the ability to do with the product as they wish. Ms. SV used to be a Harlequin author and the old contracts were all encompassing. In other words, that's what Harlequin can do. I don't know what compensation Harl and the author(&agent)  would get from the production company, but the old contracts would split the "writer's fee" for things like film 50-50.

That's a brutal contract, but I would imagine that's standard for quite a few publishers. There was one advertising on twitter this week for new submissions, but their contract was for the story and whatever world it created. So they could invite other writers to "play in your sandbox." All with a single payment up front too so there was no uncertainty.


Harlequin's contract is hardly standard.  Most publishers only ask for first rights, and the author is free to market the book elsewhere.  The anthology you're talking about (or one much like it) got a lot of derision by the writers I'm friends with.
 
2017-04-21 06:18:44 AM  

felching pen: I tried writing it down the moment I heard it. Later, I'd forget to read my notes. So I wrote "read your notes" on my hand, and it worked, sort of. I forgot where I put my notes.


Maybe you should get a tattoo on your hand like that guy in memento.  seriously, I can remember being 14 years old (30some years ago) and sitting on the toilet wondering if I'd remember this moment the rest of my life but I can't remember to stop at the grocery store and pick up something for dinner.
 
2017-04-21 11:08:54 AM  

RealityChuck: D_PaulAngel: SVenus: RealityChuck: SVenus: A writer buddy had her Harlequin book made into a Lifetime movie that comes out June 2nd.
The upshot? They made the movie without telling her anything about it until it about 48 hours before they started advertising it.

What did her contract say?

Harlequin, as you can imagine, decides it will own every possible right, and they own the ability to do with the product as they wish. Ms. SV used to be a Harlequin author and the old contracts were all encompassing. In other words, that's what Harlequin can do. I don't know what compensation Harl and the author(&agent)  would get from the production company, but the old contracts would split the "writer's fee" for things like film 50-50.

That's a brutal contract, but I would imagine that's standard for quite a few publishers. There was one advertising on twitter this week for new submissions, but their contract was for the story and whatever world it created. So they could invite other writers to "play in your sandbox." All with a single payment up front too so there was no uncertainty.

Harlequin's contract is hardly standard.  Most publishers only ask for first rights, and the author is free to market the book elsewhere.  The anthology you're talking about (or one much like it) got a lot of derision by the writers I'm friends with.


I'm glad to hear that. Thanks!
 
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