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(Talk Radio (UK))   Spanish government admits it would be woefully unprepared to deal with a zombie apocalypse   ( talkradio.co.uk) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Question, senator Carles Mulet, equally flippant question, somewhat flippant remarks, Zombie, Spanish government, Doubt, specific contingency plans  
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1651 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2017 at 6:10 PM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



26 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-04-19 11:55:54 AM  
meme-lol.com
 
2017-04-19 01:30:34 PM  
No one can really prepare for the zombie apocalypse.
 
2017-04-19 04:08:52 PM  
The survivors will envy the dead-dead.
 
2017-04-19 06:13:15 PM  
Are we talking science or magic zombies?  It matters.
 
2017-04-19 06:13:22 PM  
How about Planet X . What's their plan ?
 
2017-04-19 06:15:57 PM  
Can the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing go away now?

I know, I know, stop liking what I don't like, blah blah blah.
 
2017-04-19 06:19:14 PM  
I can't wait for the Shambling of the Bulls
 
2017-04-19 06:27:00 PM  
Silly Spaniards. Claim that Los Illuminados are responsible and Leon Kennedy will take care of the rest.
 
2017-04-19 06:32:35 PM  

eyeq360: Silly Spaniards. Claim that Los Illuminados are responsible and Leon Kennedy will take care of the rest.


I was going to say, Spain doesn't have to worry about zombies, they need to worry about Las Plagas.
 
2017-04-19 06:37:24 PM  
The brains in Spain fall mainly on the plain.
 
2017-04-19 06:39:20 PM  
one of the most bizarre and pointless exchanges in political history

img.fark.net

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
 
2017-04-19 06:47:13 PM  
Besides Cuba... Which country is ready?.
 
2017-04-19 07:13:17 PM  
Provided the zombies are the old, slow, dumb kind, the following measures should be adopted.

a) Close and lock all doors. Do not answer them if you hear a knock or groaning.
b) Shut off all escalators except the golden one in Trump Tower.
c) Shut off all elevators just in case zombies accidentally hit a button.
d) Move to the highest floor you can occupy.
e) Board up all windows on ground level as if a hurricane were coming.
f) Do your shopping at small botegas and convenience stores owned by Koreans. They are less likely to be Zombie infested than shopping malls or stores with electronic eye doors. The owners and shop clerks probably already have shotguns and baseball bats to defend themselves against regular customers.
g) Install motion sensitive lights where possible. Don't go crazy with noisy alarms. Somebody may have to turn them off or shoot them.

It is not rocket science to fight zombies. The idiots in zombie movies do it all the time. Use common sense and simple, inexpensive anti-zombie measures. A ditch or a palisade of pointed logs might be all you need to make your home zombie proof and safe.
 
2017-04-19 07:13:49 PM  

CygnusDarius: Besides Cuba... Which country is ready?.


Haiti. Pretty obvious once you read it.
 
2017-04-19 07:14:23 PM  

Heamer: Can the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing go away now?

I know, I know, stop liking what I don't like, blah blah blah.


I have to agree. It is a bit long in the tooth.
 
2017-04-19 07:17:33 PM  

brantgoose: Heamer: Can the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing go away now?

I know, I know, stop liking what I don't like, blah blah blah.

I have to agree. It is a bit long in the tooth.


It just shambles on.
 
2017-04-19 07:22:36 PM  

Ambivalence: No one can really prepare for the zombie apocalypse.


Their chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear!
 
2017-04-19 07:34:17 PM  

CygnusDarius: Besides Cuba... Which country is ready?.


They'd quickly run out of maraschino cherries and the little plastic swords, though.
 
2017-04-19 08:49:39 PM  

StatelyGreekAutomaton: Ambivalence: No one can really prepare for the zombie apocalypse.

Their chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear!


And the chief defense against zombies is a good pair of shoes and being able to walk.
 
2017-04-19 11:10:01 PM  

brantgoose: Provided the zombies are the old, slow, dumb kind, the following measures should be adopted.

a) Close and lock all doors. Do not answer them if you hear a knock or groaning.
b) Shut off all escalators except the golden one in Trump Tower.
c) Shut off all elevators just in case zombies accidentally hit a button.
d) Move to the highest floor you can occupy.
e) Board up all windows on ground level as if a hurricane were coming.
f) Do your shopping at small botegas and convenience stores owned by Koreans. They are less likely to be Zombie infested than shopping malls or stores with electronic eye doors. The owners and shop clerks probably already have shotguns and baseball bats to defend themselves against regular customers.
g) Install motion sensitive lights where possible. Don't go crazy with noisy alarms. Somebody may have to turn them off or shoot them.

It is not rocket science to fight zombies. The idiots in zombie movies do it all the time. Use common sense and simple, inexpensive anti-zombie measures. A ditch or a palisade of pointed logs might be all you need to make your home zombie proof and safe.


h) Minimize light and sound as that attracts them.
 
2017-04-19 11:38:49 PM  
What always gets me about zombies is that simple motorcycle leathers and most clothing would make you nearly invulnerable save for a horde of zombies that would be able to overcome you and crush you under their weight.

The actual fighting of zombies could be accomplished mostly by some rudimentary traps and the effective use of terrain or environment. If you were on the run or needed to clear zombies, guns seem like a pretty terrible choice. Assuming an apocalyptic scenario, your ammunition would be extremely limited, you can miss a death blow easily, and it will attract other zombies or scavengers.

The danger really would boil down to how the disease is spread. If it is through fluids or contamination, that would be difficult as many water sources would be in jeopardy. If it is through being bitten, well, during the initial phase it would be crazy, but after a time the threat would be minimal. If we are all infected and anyone who passes comes back, it seems like it could be contained fairly easily.

Running vs Walking zombies and zombies that decay vs ones that don't, or zombies that must feed vs ones that don't also make a huge difference. It would be extremely difficult for any scenario to spread to an apocalyptic level. If it accompanied another event, then yes, it would suck. Personally, I think the bigger threat would be other survivors and just surviving in a post apocalyptic world when we are so accustomed to life currently. Mundane sicknesses, food, water, and shelter would be a huge obstacle. Zombies would be potentially manageable.
 
TWX
2017-04-20 12:01:04 AM  

CygnusDarius: Besides Cuba... Which country is ready?.


Sealand?

Gibraltar might have have fighting chance if they can figure out how to barricade that 4000' border with Spain.

The Falkland Islands might be OK if Argentina has bigger things to worry about, even if Britain falls. St. Helena would probably also be OK, they're so remote that only now are they building a usable airport and it's a several day sea voyage to get there, so there'd be a good chance that ships attempting to call at the port could be quarantined.

Australia might even have a good chance, they could basically close their airports except in Western Australia and open only a few rural airfields to international flights, and quarantine arrivals in dispersed, small refugee camps. Camps without outbreaks would probably more resemble those the United States kept those of Japanese ancestry in during WWII; camps with outbreaks would probably more resemble the camps the Germans ran. Sheer distance from the bulk of populated Australia would probably make it safe, again so long as they can keep arrivals from bringing infection where it can reach the Eastern part of the country.
 
2017-04-20 12:27:46 AM  

the money is in the banana stand: What always gets me about zombies is that simple motorcycle leathers and most clothing would make you nearly invulnerable save for a horde of zombies that would be able to overcome you and crush you under their weight.

The actual fighting of zombies could be accomplished mostly by some rudimentary traps and the effective use of terrain or environment. If you were on the run or needed to clear zombies, guns seem like a pretty terrible choice. Assuming an apocalyptic scenario, your ammunition would be extremely limited, you can miss a death blow easily, and it will attract other zombies or scavengers.

The danger really would boil down to how the disease is spread. If it is through fluids or contamination, that would be difficult as many water sources would be in jeopardy. If it is through being bitten, well, during the initial phase it would be crazy, but after a time the threat would be minimal. If we are all infected and anyone who passes comes back, it seems like it could be contained fairly easily.

Running vs Walking zombies and zombies that decay vs ones that don't, or zombies that must feed vs ones that don't also make a huge difference. It would be extremely difficult for any scenario to spread to an apocalyptic level. If it accompanied another event, then yes, it would suck. Personally, I think the bigger threat would be other survivors and just surviving in a post apocalyptic world when we are so accustomed to life currently. Mundane sicknesses, food, water, and shelter would be a huge obstacle. Zombies would be potentially manageable.


Your points are why I asked up-thread if they were scientific or magical zombies.  If they are magical zombies, you're screwed.  No exceptions.  For scientific zombies, I agree with all your points.  In fact, my zombie plan includes my biker leathers, a couple of .45 pistols, and a viking axe (yes, I have all of these items).  The human teeth kind of suck, so my leathers and full face helmet will be plenty of protection against bites (note to self, get neck guard).  Going out for foraging will be necessary since I am not a survivalist with a two year supply of army rations.  Using the pistols would be last resort since the sound would attract more zombies.
 
2017-04-20 02:57:07 AM  

OgreMagi: Your points are why I asked up-thread if they were scientific or magical zombies.  If they are magical zombies, you're screwed.  No exceptions.  For scientific zombies, I agree with all your points.  In fact, my zombie plan includes my biker leathers, a couple of .45 pistols, and a viking axe (yes, I have all of these items).  The human teeth kind of suck, so my leathers and full face helmet will be plenty of protection against bites (note to self, get neck guard).  Going out for foraging will be necessary since I am not a survivalist with a two year supply of army rations.  Using the pistols would be last resort since the sound would attract more zombies.


That's one of the things I never understood about The Walking Dead: why Rick insists on using that stupid .357. Get a .22. It's quieter, holds more ammo, the ammo itself is lighter so you can carry more, and it's not like you need a bigass bullet to scramble a zed's brains.
 
2017-04-20 02:57:39 AM  

Ambivalence: No one can really prepare for the zombie apocalypse.


Not with that attitude.
 
2017-04-20 03:03:17 AM  

fusillade762: OgreMagi: Your points are why I asked up-thread if they were scientific or magical zombies.  If they are magical zombies, you're screwed.  No exceptions.  For scientific zombies, I agree with all your points.  In fact, my zombie plan includes my biker leathers, a couple of .45 pistols, and a viking axe (yes, I have all of these items).  The human teeth kind of suck, so my leathers and full face helmet will be plenty of protection against bites (note to self, get neck guard).  Going out for foraging will be necessary since I am not a survivalist with a two year supply of army rations.  Using the pistols would be last resort since the sound would attract more zombies.

That's one of the things I never understood about The Walking Dead: why Rick insists on using that stupid .357. Get a .22. It's quieter, holds more ammo, the ammo itself is lighter so you can carry more, and it's not like you need a bigass bullet to scramble a zed's brains.


A head shot with a .22 is a bit iffy.  They don't have the greatest penetration.  I suppose if you are willing to put the barrel right up to the head it would work.
 
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