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(Mashable)   Only thing more depressing than losing your wallet is finding out some people have been getting together for a drinking challenge in your honor for 14 years without inviting you   ( mashable.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Tim Burrows, Instant messaging, Tim Burrows Drinking, cider drinking competition, wallet, overwhelming feeling, Facebook messenger, hilarious conversation  
•       •       •

14717 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2017 at 9:50 AM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-04-19 08:08:47 AM  
imagizer.imageshack.us
 
2017-04-19 08:13:28 AM  
Depressing? I'd think it was hilarious.
 
2017-04-19 08:29:27 AM  
3-4 litres of cider, 5 people per team?

I'm game.
 
2017-04-19 09:41:24 AM  

Slaxl: 3-4 litres of cider, 5 people per team?

I'm game.


That sounds good.  But I'm a lightweight....

/Have some ice cider at home that's now calling my name...
 
2017-04-19 09:52:35 AM  
So hilarious.
 
2017-04-19 09:53:14 AM  

Slaxl: 3-4 litres of cider, 5 people per team?

I'm game.


Bring it.

img.fark.net
 
2017-04-19 09:56:45 AM  
I'd lose my wallet on purpose if I knew this would happen.
 
2017-04-19 09:57:39 AM  

Slaxl: 3-4 litres of cider, 5 people per team?

I'm game.


Wait - why do you measure cider in liters but beer in pints? Measurements in the UK are crazypants.
 
2017-04-19 10:04:57 AM  
I'd have thought it was caught between the cushions of his couch, and when he found it he'd have such a nice surprise.
 
2017-04-19 10:06:13 AM  

meanmutton: Slaxl: 3-4 litres of cider, 5 people per team?

I'm game.

Wait - why do you measure cider in liters but beer in pints? Measurements in the UK are crazypants.


I'd like to see you drink more than one or two crazypants full of gin......
 
2017-04-19 10:07:43 AM  
heh, my buddies used to do the white lightning challenge before heading out to the bars every weekend.  each person buys one 3 Liter and chugs until its gone, first person done wins.  sort of like edward 40 hands but with an extra hand available.
 
2017-04-19 10:17:21 AM  
TIL that "white lightning" means something different in the U.K.

Downing a liter of white lightning here in the U.S. isn't a pre-game drink, it's a suicide attempt.

Damn Poms need to step their game up...
 
2017-04-19 10:22:37 AM  
www.reactiongifs.com
 
2017-04-19 10:30:34 AM  
So he lost his wallet at a festival and didn't go back to the festival at the end to ask them to look in the lost and found?
 
2017-04-19 10:41:47 AM  
Thanks to a certain weekly thread here, I am now incapable of hearing or seeing the word "cider" without thinking of this:
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-19 10:55:24 AM  

SirSigsegV: Thanks to a certain weekly thread here, I am now incapable of hearing or seeing the word "cider" without thinking of this:
[img.fark.net image 729x480]


Mine:

frinkiac.com
"If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there, fella. If it's tangy and brown, you're in cidertown!"
 
2017-04-19 11:08:26 AM  
I lost my wallet in Korea and it was eventually returned minus the 80 bucks I had. I'm willing to bet that money was used to shag some whores.
 
2017-04-19 11:27:05 AM  
When I was on Guam in the 70's they used to hold "Rodney's Birthday Party" every year. Most people there didn't know who Rodney was, as he had left some years before.
 
2017-04-19 11:54:45 AM  
Next challenge, make Tim the honored guest and buy his drinks. Everybody wins.
 
2017-04-19 11:57:28 AM  
 
2017-04-19 12:02:50 PM  

PolyHatSnake: TIL that "white lightning" means something different in the U.K.

Downing a liter of white lightning here in the U.S. isn't a pre-game drink, it's a suicide attempt.

Damn Poms need to step their game up...


There's a reason they say you're  "shining" around here and it usually just takes a bit of "river water" to start your shine.  A bit more and somebody usually writes a simple song to commemorate your night of stupidity.  Unless the shine is cut way down by infusing peach, apple, cinnamon etc... you're usually drinking around 120 proof to 140 proof alcohol, and only a few true farkers can handle that high octane while consuming more than a sip here and there. I've watched many try and many fail.

/it took me a couple attempts and finally a song about me to realize I will never win a battle against the shine.
//now I write the songs
///3chords and the truth
 
2017-04-19 12:04:42 PM  

Mongo No.5: heh, my buddies used to do the white lightning challenge before heading out to the bars every weekend.  each person buys one 3 Liter and chugs until its gone, first person done wins.  sort of like edward 40 hands but with an extra hand available.


3 liters of white lightning?   Cheesus Crust, how many extra livers do you have?
 
2017-04-19 12:13:30 PM  

listernine: Mongo No.5: heh, my buddies used to do the white lightning challenge before heading out to the bars every weekend.  each person buys one 3 Liter and chugs until its gone, first person done wins.  sort of like edward 40 hands but with an extra hand available.

3 liters of white lightning?   Cheesus Crust, how many extra livers do you have?


100 oz of hard cider.  its the equivalent of like 9 or 10 beers.  so its not all that much.
 
2017-04-19 12:37:32 PM  
I'm both intrigued and frightened by the prospect of high octane cider.  Good thing "the homeless" can be scapegoated for its disappearance.

Dammit, why do you people who have nothing have to ruin EVERYTHING!
 
2017-04-19 12:42:44 PM  
Oh man. I used to get messed up on White Lighting 2 Liters. I think there is a monument to that era in some corner of my Liver.

img.fark.net
 
2017-04-19 12:49:28 PM  
I'm looking at a mason jar of california white lightning. 140 proof, with 2 sticks of cinnamon in it. Very smooth for its incredible strength...
 
2017-04-19 01:03:14 PM  

Nezorf: Oh man. I used to get messed up on White Lighting 2 Liters. I think there is a monument to that era in some corner of my Liver.


That stuff is a) vile and b) lethal in large quantities.  We used to drink Special Brew and White Lightning snakebite, because you could get properly hammered for next to nothing.  Also, we were 16, so its possible that that was overkill.
 
2017-04-19 01:06:11 PM  

Nezorf: Oh man. I used to get messed up on White Lighting 2 Liters. I think there is a monument to that era in some corner of my Liver.

[img.fark.net image 425x315]


joke's on you!  they are 3 liters.
 
2017-04-19 01:17:32 PM  

Mongo No.5: Nezorf: Oh man. I used to get messed up on White Lighting 2 Liters. I think there is a monument to that era in some corner of my Liver.

[img.fark.net image 425x315]

joke's on you!  they are 3 liters.


TIL that the UK goes harder than the US on cheaply priced hooch.
I thought the 3 liter plastic bottles of beer from Bulgaria were a sign of low cost intoxication.static1.squarespace.com
 
2017-04-19 01:17:42 PM  

Mongo No.5: heh, my buddies used to do the white lightning challenge before heading out to the bars every weekend.  each person buys one 3 Liter and chugs until its gone, first person done wins.  sort of like edward 40 hands but with an extra hand available.


1. I think I'd need a full day just to consume 3 liters of any liquid.

2. 3 l of white lightning? As in, moonshine? I call BS on you drinking 3l and going anywhere but hospital.
 
2017-04-19 01:39:57 PM  

Nezorf: Oh man. I used to get messed up on White Lighting 2 Liters. I think there is a monument to that era in some corner of my Liver.

[img.fark.net image 425x315]


Never heard of that.
1. Good thing.
2. Don't live in the UK.
Your Brand of Thunderbird or Cisco but 3 litre? 2 pounds. DAMN!!!

White Lightning was a brand of English white cider
 
2017-04-19 01:41:52 PM  

meanmutton: Slaxl: 3-4 litres of cider, 5 people per team?

I'm game.

Wait - why do you measure cider in liters but beer in pints? Measurements in the UK are crazypants.


Actually, crazy pants are a UK measure of length.
 
2017-04-19 01:44:05 PM  
A good friend makes "Lemoncello" by marinating the zests of several lemons in a bottle of Everclear for a couple of months. She strains the resultant yellowish liquid and stores it in the freezer. When consumed, it's pretty much the total opposite of what you expect in a 190-proof liquor. It's thick, sweet, smooth, coats the mouth, and soothes the throat. Once it hits the stomach, however, all of its disguises are cast aside, and you can feel it sitting there, after the original "bloom".
 
2017-04-19 02:13:07 PM  

mcmnky: 3 l of white lightning? As in, moonshine?


It's strong cider from the UK.  Vile tasting, cheap as chips but  7.5% ABV.
 
2017-04-19 02:13:25 PM  

HAMMERTOE: A good friend makes "Lemoncello" by marinating the zests of several lemons in a bottle of Everclear for a couple of months. She strains the resultant yellowish liquid and stores it in the freezer. When consumed, it's pretty much the total opposite of what you expect in a 190-proof liquor. It's thick, sweet, smooth, coats the mouth, and soothes the throat. Once it hits the stomach, however, all of its disguises are cast aside, and you can feel it sitting there, after the original "bloom".


That sounds both delicious and frightening, simultaneously. Not sure if I have the fortitude to give it a try.
 
2017-04-19 02:31:43 PM  

TheAlgebraist: meanmutton: Slaxl: 3-4 litres of cider, 5 people per team?

I'm game.

Wait - why do you measure cider in liters but beer in pints? Measurements in the UK are crazypants.

I'd like to see you drink more than one or two crazypants full of gin......


Wait.  Isn't a crazypants worth about 1.4 hammersmith wheelbarrows?  Nobody could handle that much cider!
 
2017-04-19 02:39:30 PM  

Mongo No.5: listernine: Mongo No.5: heh, my buddies used to do the white lightning challenge before heading out to the bars every weekend.  each person buys one 3 Liter and chugs until its gone, first person done wins.  sort of like edward 40 hands but with an extra hand available.

3 liters of white lightning?   Cheesus Crust, how many extra livers do you have?

100 oz of hard cider.  its the equivalent of like 9 or 10 beers.  so its not all that much.


Ok. Here in the US white lightning looks like this
cdn.shopify.com

And 3 liters of it is enough to kill you.  And your friends.
 
2017-04-19 02:52:26 PM  

listernine: Mongo No.5: listernine: Mongo No.5: heh, my buddies used to do the white lightning challenge before heading out to the bars every weekend.  each person buys one 3 Liter and chugs until its gone, first person done wins.  sort of like edward 40 hands but with an extra hand available.

3 liters of white lightning?   Cheesus Crust, how many extra livers do you have?

100 oz of hard cider.  its the equivalent of like 9 or 10 beers.  so its not all that much.

Ok. Here in the US white lightning looks like this
[cdn.shopify.com image 480x480]

And 3 liters of it is enough to kill you.  And your friends.


Mason Jar and all.

Note: never mistake a glass of shine for water and try to chug. My 13 year old self didn't do much the rest of the weekend. Didn't hurl though.
 
2017-04-19 04:27:20 PM  

gwowen: mcmnky: 3 l of white lightning? As in, moonshine?

It's strong cider from the UK.  Vile tasting, cheap as chips but  7.5% ABV.


Actually, sounds better than some of the cheap high alcohol shiat we get here:

img.fark.net
5.9% ABV but the 32 oz above sells for a dollar at our local grocery store.

www.bevindustry.com
8% ABV ad like a buck and a half for a pint can.
 
2017-04-19 05:23:43 PM  

mcmnky: Mongo No.5: heh, my buddies used to do the white lightning challenge before heading out to the bars every weekend.  each person buys one 3 Liter and chugs until its gone, first person done wins.  sort of like edward 40 hands but with an extra hand available.

1. I think I'd need a full day just to consume 3 liters of any liquid.

2. 3 l of white lightning? As in, moonshine? I call BS on you drinking 3l and going anywhere but hospital.


Morgue
 
2017-04-19 07:07:31 PM  

Splinthar: Mongo No.5: Nezorf: Oh man. I used to get messed up on White Lighting 2 Liters. I think there is a monument to that era in some corner of my Liver.

[img.fark.net image 425x315]

joke's on you!  they are 3 liters.

TIL that the UK goes harder than the US on cheaply priced hooch.
I thought the 3 liter plastic bottles of beer from Bulgaria were a sign of low cost intoxication.[static1.squarespace.com image 298x334]


Love a beer with the sound "chuck" in its name.

Also used to love Chuck Chunder or the Space Patrol.
 
2017-04-19 07:17:03 PM  
Picture the house I grew up in.  Front door opened to a closet, left was a wall (garage), right the living room.  Take 2 steps right, turn left.  You're looking at the dining room, and next to the wall is a sewing machine mom used to leave her purse on.  Walk through the dining room, thru the kitchen, and you were in the family room we all spent our time in.

One day the purse disappeared.  That was the genesis of me always locking the front door when I'm home.

Why is it a story?  7-8 years later the Safeway 1/2 mile away was re-doing their roof, and they found mom's purse minus the cash.

/ the Safeway is long gone
// sadly, so is mom
/// 4 years next week
 
2017-04-20 02:49:39 AM  

listernine: Ok. Here in the US white lightning looks like this
[cdn.shopify.com image 480x480]


That looks like it ought to be carried in this basket:

img.fark.net
 
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