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(The Sun)   When coming across a dead pigeon in the street do not try to give it CPR, let it go cause it's dead   ( thesun.co.uk) divider line
    More: Weird, The Sun, Group Newspapers Limited, News Group Newspapers, Newspaper, News of the World, The Times, News Corporation, News International  
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2615 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2017 at 11:20 AM (30 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2017-04-19 09:39:09 AM  
It's just resting.
 
2017-04-19 09:43:59 AM  
Wanted for questioning:

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2017-04-19 10:35:29 AM  
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2017-04-19 10:58:29 AM  
Tom Lehrer - Poisoning Pigeons In The Park
Youtube yhuMLpdnOjY


Spring is here, spring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time of the year
Is the spring, I do, don't you? Course you do
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me
And makes every Sunday a treat for me

All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park
Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me
As we poison the pigeons in the park

When they see us coming
The birdies all try and hide
But they still go for peanuts
When coated with cyanide

The sun's shining bright 
Everything seems all right
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We've gained notoriety
And caused much anxiety
In the Audobon Society
With our games
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety
And quite a variety of unpleasant names

But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon

So if Sunday you're free
Why don't you come with me
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park
And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We'll murder them amid laughter and merriment
Except for the few we take home to experiment

My pulse will be quickenin' 
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon
It just takes a smidgin
To poison a pigeon in the park
 
2017-04-19 10:58:47 AM  
Fire up the grill, we're having squab for dinner.
 
2017-04-19 11:02:57 AM  
It was just pining for the fjords
 
2017-04-19 11:26:13 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-04-19 11:29:00 AM  
Given that she's from the west of Scotland I'm sure that she's had far worse in her mouth.
 
2017-04-19 11:31:13 AM  
It was just shagged out after a long squawk.
 
2017-04-19 11:32:14 AM  
But I've seen it work before...

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2017-04-19 11:39:51 AM  
img1.etsystatic.comView Full Size
 
2017-04-19 11:40:05 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size


Proper technique for reanimate pigeons.
 
2017-04-19 11:41:26 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-04-19 11:42:02 AM  

Teaser: [img1.etsystatic.com image 570x356]


Reminds me of a chick I knew who put her cat in the freezer, after it died, so it wouldn't start smelling before she could get it buried. It goes without saying she wasn't a cook.
 
2017-04-19 11:42:51 AM  
poor thing. trying to eat the bird, but being from england, no teeth to chew with
 
2017-04-19 11:46:25 AM  
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-04-19 11:47:53 AM  
Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
 
2017-04-19 11:49:44 AM  
Bird flu pandemic in 3..2..1..
 
2017-04-19 11:49:47 AM  
CPR to a pigeon? It's a winged rat!
replygif.netView Full Size
 
2017-04-19 11:53:50 AM  
I think she's sweet for trying to resuscitate an animal like that. Dumb as a box of rocks, but sweet.
 
2017-04-19 12:01:24 PM  
It's a pest. It has no redeeming qualities. It's not even cute. It's like trying to CPR Dylann Roof after his lethal injection.
 
2017-04-19 12:04:21 PM  
She's doing it wrong. Open it's mouth and put it's *entire* head in your mouth and then , ensuring you have a clear airway, blow until you hear a POP. You may have to blow, really REALLY hard, but trust me, when you hear a "POP", you're good to go.
/certified cardiopulmonary resuscitation expert of the ornithological kind.
//Oh you haven't heard. Maybe a mass awareness of a certain avian variety.
///https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WNrx2jq184
 
2017-04-19 12:05:15 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-04-19 12:08:26 PM  
Birds.

"Concierge" clip from 1968 Mel Brooks' "The Producers"
Youtube aL6mTMShVyk

/i'm a concierge
 
2017-04-19 12:12:34 PM  

SoCalChris: I think she's sweet for trying to resuscitate an animal like that. Dumb as a box of rocks, but sweet.


I don't think it's sweet.  It's delusional.  It's a bird.  Feral pigeons only live 3 to 5 years in the wild.   Just let it go.  That pigeon can provide sustenance for other important species.
 
2017-04-19 12:15:29 PM  
Good way to contract salmonella. She might as well ate a snake shiat sandwich
 
2017-04-19 12:16:34 PM  
She wasn't trying to resuscitate it.  She was trying to Ozzy it.
 
2017-04-19 12:17:11 PM  
i1177.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2017-04-19 12:19:57 PM  
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2017-04-19 12:27:50 PM  
Now that's a new level of drunk! I've been drunk enough to try grilling pigeons, but I don't know if I could get plastered enough to try to resuscitate one.
 
2017-04-19 12:52:16 PM  
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First of all thank you pigeon lady for holding this town hall meeting.  My first question is, can I have you're telephone number and would you like to maybe get dinner and some drinks tonight?  I figure if you'd blow a pigeon you'll blow anything.
 
2017-04-19 12:57:10 PM  

dittybopper: SoCalChris: I think she's sweet for trying to resuscitate an animal like that. Dumb as a box of rocks, but sweet.

I don't think it's sweet.  It's delusional.  It's a bird.  Feral pigeons only live 3 to 5 years in the wild.   Just let it go.  That pigeon can provide sustenance for other important species.


Rats gotta eat.
 
2017-04-19 01:04:56 PM  
Some serious bewb in the sidebar!
 
2017-04-19 01:06:38 PM  

AugieDoggyDaddy: dittybopper: SoCalChris: I think she's sweet for trying to resuscitate an animal like that. Dumb as a box of rocks, but sweet.

I don't think it's sweet.  It's delusional.  It's a bird.  Feral pigeons only live 3 to 5 years in the wild.   Just let it go.  That pigeon can provide sustenance for other important species.

Rats gotta eat pizza.

FTFY
 
2017-04-19 01:10:04 PM  
i try to avoid the flying rats, thanks
 
2017-04-19 01:17:27 PM  
When coming across a dead pigeon

Rule 34?
 
2017-04-19 01:22:35 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Now, what's all this about then?
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2017-04-19 02:03:53 PM  
Wild At Heart 1990 Nicolas Cage Laura Dern (frogman bar scene)
Youtube SAcPoWeq5f8
 
2017-04-19 02:04:35 PM  

kobrakai: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/SAcPoWeq5f8 - 480x360]


Well hell. The above clip is supposed to start at 0:36.
 
2017-04-19 02:27:58 PM  
She's doing it all wrong.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrXUYjVCX2o
 
2017-04-19 02:29:40 PM  
It has ceased to be.
 
2017-04-19 03:51:30 PM  

jdog71: [img.fark.net image 690x960]


This made my day.
 
2017-04-19 06:19:36 PM  
'I'm not going to eat a DEAD bird, am I?'
 
2017-04-19 08:02:32 PM  
Genesis - Pigeons
Youtube uWTwiNzf100


W
 
2017-04-20 02:47:19 AM  
 Maybe it was just playing possum?
 
2017-04-20 12:30:49 PM  
Having a hard time not picturing the whole EMT movie scene : "Live, Damn you! <frantic CPR maneuvers> Why god?! Why?!"
 
2017-04-20 03:52:47 PM  
I saw a dead pigeon once. It was stripped by rats in the time it took to walk to the end of the Street and back, maybe five to ten minutes.

All that the rats left was the wings and the should bones connecting them. Every thing else was eaten or taken, even the bones and the beak.

Which reminds me of a poem. Surprised? You don't know me!

Here are the relevant verses:

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak -
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."
 
2017-04-20 03:55:42 PM  

Squab!


That's a funny word I know. Remember it. You may need to use a "Q" in Scrabble some day.
 
2017-04-20 04:01:47 PM  
Farkers sure do know their pigeon memes.

I think you pretty much hit all the highlights: Tesla, Lehrer, Python, The Producers (oriiginal), Mike Tyson.

We missed Woody Allen though.

Rats with wings.

Oh, wait. No we didn't.
 
2017-04-20 04:04:24 PM  
And let's not forget the non-canonical Treehouse of Horror "Hugo" episode of The Simpsons:

Hugo Simpson - The pigeon-rat
Youtube ntPEQbbHKAw
 
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