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(Daily Mail)   Skydiver goes to hospital after "accident" which is better than going to the morgue which is what usually happens when a skydiver has an accident   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary, Daily Mail Australia, Bryant Hevesi, EDT  
•       •       •

6346 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2017 at 4:16 PM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-04-18 07:56:05 AM  
My cousin broke his leg in what he called a "bad landing".  There's more that can go wrong than just the chute not opening.

/Who would have thought skydiving could be so complicated?
 
2017-04-18 09:37:25 AM  
It's the Daily Mail. I'm now obligated to question the existence of the sky.
 
2017-04-18 01:03:26 PM  
I rolled my ankle pretty hard on a landing once. There seem like plenty of ways to get hurt if you are taunting gravity that aggressively.
 
2017-04-18 04:15:21 PM  
s1.postimg.org
 
2017-04-18 04:23:55 PM  
If I were skydiving the only 'accident' I would have could easily be contained with Depends.
 
2017-04-18 04:27:07 PM  
I had a teacher in high school who apparently stuck his leg out straight at the last second on his first solo jump.  He ended up breaking the leg in several places and teaching for the next year from an electric wheelchair.
 
2017-04-18 04:29:20 PM  

TommyDeuce: My cousin broke his leg in what he called a "bad landing".  There's more that can go wrong than just the chute not opening.

/Who would have thought skydiving could be so complicated?


I think the most common way a skydiver dies is by power lines.  I think I heard that once.
 
2017-04-18 04:29:58 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2017-04-18 04:31:23 PM  
...director of Sydney Skydiving, said the woman was an experienced recreational skydiver.
'She's just had a hard landing... she's all fine,' he said.


I'm in the United States reading a piece on a UK website about a person in Australia the same day when "she's all fine"?
 
2017-04-18 04:31:33 PM  
High speed dirt
 
2017-04-18 04:32:16 PM  
I did seven jumps when I was 16 in cadets. Jumping out of the plane was easy compared to getting my parents to sign the waiver.
/when you're a teenager you think you're immortal.
//by 55 you'll settle for "good for another 20."
 
2017-04-18 04:32:18 PM  

TommyDeuce: My cousin broke his leg in what he called a "bad landing".  There's more that can go wrong than just the chute not opening.

/Who would have thought skydiving could be so complicated?


Most injuries are caused by pilot error under a good canopy.

/A-19507
 
2017-04-18 04:38:02 PM  
I have a buddy who is a Neurosurgeon.
A Chiropractor who was skydiving had a failed chute, got hurt pretty bad, including an unstable neck fracture. Ended up paralyzed. Three guesses who he sued?
 
2017-04-18 04:39:31 PM  

Nesher: I have a buddy who is a Neurosurgeon.
A Chiropractor who was skydiving had a failed chute, got hurt pretty bad, including an unstable neck fracture. Ended up paralyzed. Three guesses who he sued?


Frank Stallone?
 
2017-04-18 04:40:23 PM  
"A female patient... had fallen some distance and had some pain to the back and pelvis."

Today I learned that "some" is British for "a metric shiat-ton".
 
2017-04-18 04:48:08 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 04:50:19 PM  
Was it Larry Skydiver? The weird bear probably pushed him.

img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 04:50:30 PM  

guestguy: [img.fark.net image 640x492]


I just did a spit take and the folks around me at the restaurant are staring.

/Bravo
 
2017-04-18 04:51:47 PM  
See you in hell, Johnny!
 
2017-04-18 04:52:18 PM  

Nesher: I have a buddy who is a Neurosurgeon.
A Chiropractor who was skydiving had a failed chute, got hurt pretty bad, including an unstable neck fracture. Ended up paralyzed. Three guesses who he sued?


The pilot of the perfectly good airplane he jumped out of, the jump school, the parachute manufacturer, and the farmer who owned the land he trespassed on?
 
2017-04-18 04:53:05 PM  
LordOfThePings:

[img.fark.net image 470x345]

"Cocaine?"
"Cocaine."
 
2017-04-18 04:55:35 PM  
Wanted for questioning:

vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net

/the best of Coleman Francis' movies
//that's not saying a whole hell of a lot
 
2017-04-18 04:58:35 PM  

jake_lex: Wanted for questioning:

[vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net image 269x206]

/the best of Coleman Francis' movies
//that's not saying a whole hell of a lot


That's a bit like picking out the best case of explosive diarrhea.
 
2017-04-18 05:02:09 PM  

Eirik: jake_lex: Wanted for questioning:

[vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net image 269x206]

/the best of Coleman Francis' movies
//that's not saying a whole hell of a lot

That's a bit like picking out the best case of explosive diarrhea.


Provided they've all been stored correctly, picking the best case shouldn't be that hard.
 
2017-04-18 05:04:00 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 05:12:27 PM  

Nesher: I have a buddy who is a Neurosurgeon.
A Chiropractor who was skydiving had a failed chute, got hurt pretty bad, including an unstable neck fracture. Ended up paralyzed. Three guesses who he sued?


Sued? I thought chiropractors adjusted.
 
2017-04-18 05:14:45 PM  
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
 
2017-04-18 05:15:02 PM  
It happened in Australia, so she was falling up. It makes less of an impact.
 
2017-04-18 05:17:11 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

...it tolls for you.

/would work better if it was a Bell helicopter
 
2017-04-18 05:17:43 PM  

pounddawg: TommyDeuce: My cousin broke his leg in what he called a "bad landing".  There's more that can go wrong than just the chute not opening.

/Who would have thought skydiving could be so complicated?

Most injuries are caused by pilot error under a good canopy.

/A-19507


Target fixation is a biatch.   (don't look at the pole, don't look at the pole, don't looWHAM!)

/broke both arms on a hard landing 8 years ago
//not current on my license
///can't even remember my number offhand
 
2017-04-18 05:19:12 PM  
I'm having an accident, right now
 
2017-04-18 05:24:50 PM  

trappedspirit: I'm having an accident, right now


That's no accident...
 
2017-04-18 05:27:35 PM  

SansNeural: trappedspirit: I'm having an accident, right now

That's no accident...


It's a crap!
 
2017-04-18 05:29:58 PM  

NotThatGuyAgain: SansNeural: trappedspirit: I'm having an accident, right now

That's no accident...

It's a crap!


It's a BASE station.
 
2017-04-18 05:55:49 PM  
img.fark.net
"Passenger volunteered for reaccommodation."
 
2017-04-18 06:14:09 PM  
img.fark.net
It was supposed to be a secret
 
2017-04-18 06:22:16 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 06:36:00 PM  

TommyDeuce: My cousin broke his leg in what he called a "bad landing".  There's more that can go wrong than just the chute not opening.

/Who would have thought skydiving could be so complicated?


Coleman Francis understood its complicated nature.
 
OOF
2017-04-18 06:43:30 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 06:45:17 PM  
A roommate went to Airborne school after college and there was a Marine Colonel going through at the same time.  Now I know little about jumping but this guy had some sort of failure that his chute didn't deploy completely and only sorta slowed him down and he hit hard.  Hard as in barely conscious thrown in an ambulance and taken to ICU hard.  So my buddy tells me that some Army guy on the ground is screaming at the colonel "Good news Colonel!  Odds are you only have one catastrophic failure in your jump career and you survived yours!"
 
OOF
2017-04-18 06:47:12 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 08:35:50 PM  
Hard landings are no fun.
 
2017-04-18 08:59:57 PM  

Mock26: Hard landings are no fun.


Better than not landing.
 
2017-04-18 10:40:23 PM  
Landings in skydiving are like aircraft- if you can walk away and file a report, it's good.
 
2017-04-18 10:46:54 PM  

Skyd1v: /broke both arms on a hard landing 8 years ago
//not current on my license
///can't even remember my number offhand


Ouch. I got some road rash on the side of my lower leg from sliding on dirt at the end of a landing once, but that's the worst I did to myself in 13 years.

The "she'll be fine" thing is funny though in skydiving, there's basically no consideration for surgery counts or recovery time when talking among skydivers about someone who injured themselves. "Yeah he made a stupid low turn... hit the ground almost the same time as his canopy... broke his pelvis, open fracture on the left femur, and right tib/fib... he'll be okay though..." "Oh, well that's good to hear."

/D-28302
 
2017-04-19 11:08:08 AM  
Jumped once a long time ago, before tandem jumps were a thing. To help me get over a fear of heights and to be able to say I did it. Was pretty cool and worked for a while (the height thing).

But it's THE hospital. What, you Brits figure that with all the extra "U"s you guys put into all your words have to be balanced out by dropping the THE before the word hospital?

/separated by a common language indeed.
 
2017-04-19 04:24:02 PM  
I got hurt more from two attempts at floorball than I did from 850+ skydives. It's the ground that's dangerous and I prefer to spend as much time as possible where it can't reach me.
Two friends of mine got quite badly hurt skydiving (both in sudden high winds), but they got well after surgeries and one of them still jumps. Then again my girlfriend got badly hurt going down a water slide.
 
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