Darnell says some food was found in the cat exhibits about two weeks ago that wasnt distributed by the zoo.

"Food," huh? Clearly this is all some sort of elaborate body part disposal scheme.

I was wondering where I put my finger..stupid police!

a whole new meaning to the term fingering a pussy...

Maybe he really just wanted to give the jaguar the finger. So leave it be, zookeeper!

There's something strange about this story, but I can't quite put my finger on it...

The article is so poorly written, it should have appeared in The Sun.

They could just take a fingerprint of the finger.
Then fingerprints of the suspect whose finger may or may not be missing.

If they match... (here's the clever bit) then the finger is his!

No need for awkward questions about the finger.

Never play "pull my finger' with a jaguar.

Off-topic: Someone PLEASE go out with aidenshire so we don't have to see his Adam Ant face for a FOURTH day!

hey jaguar, pull my finger

Now, was it an Atari Jaguar with CD add on? Those things were dangerous.

Looks like someone knows how to press a Jaguar's buttons.

aufulperson
You awful awful person! DebauchedSloth and I need to learn to type faster.

Are you sure you are okay? How many fingers am I holding up? And do they belong to you?

I knew a guy who lost his finger after slamming in the door of a Jaguar.

or maybe it was a Ford Taurus, who can tell the difference anymore?

Hey don't point that finger at me. Oh you can't.Sorry.

I can't seem to put my finger on why this guy would stick his hand into a Jag cage.

So this dude got his finger bitten off when he was trying to hand feed a jaguar. And now he's too embarassed to admit it. I would be too, but then again I wouldn't stick my hand in a jaguars mouth. I wonder if he went to the hospital. What do you think he told them when they asked where his finger was?

So the guy gave a jaguar the finger...why is the zoo so concerned about giving it back?

0ok

oh, and they were watching the enclosure reaaaaal closely, weren't they? Must've been using MP's.

can anyone give me a working definition of a troll?

as a noun and a verb, if possible.

/trying to perfect my technique

Anyone else here from NM?

I love that zoo, I can't tell you how many school field trips i went on.


/Cougar Pride!

HEAY A GUY GZEV A JAGUER TEH FINGER!!!!@

Try a little harder, guys.

Nay officer, I did not linger
near the tip of this man's finger!
'Twas SherKhan, the rhyming wit
Did the fellow's finger bit!

that finger
+
berg's head
+ one piece of string
=

HE<->HO

Frodo of the nine fingers and the Ring of Doom...

[spoken by the Minstrel of Gondor:
It has its beginnings two ages past when Bilbo set forth
to reclaim the dwarves' gold from the dragon, Smogg,
and while on his quest, Bilbo stumbled into a deep, dank cave...]

When Bilbo found that shiny ring in Gollum's cave of gloom,
he never thought that it would turn into a Ring of Doom.
The dragon, Smogg, the spiders, too, the goblins, the elven king,
they came to know the power of the hobbit and his Ring.

Frodo of the nine fingers and the Ring of Doom.
It started with a Hobbit in Gollum's cave of gloom.

The power of the Ring it grew and Gandalf sat in thought.
He knew that it must be destroyed in fires where it was wrought.
For if in evil hands it fell the earth would know its end.
No force of arms would win the day.
No army could contend.

[Spoken by Gandalf:
For evil flourished every where and lay on the land like a
festering malignancy, There was one hope, though. In a distant
land, the noble Aragorn, heir to the empty throne of Gondor,
awaited with a small band to return and become king, but he
could not triumph until the Ring was destroyed.
So went the prophesy.]

Frodo of the nine fingers and the Ring of Doom.
Accepted a heavy burden for the fires to consume.

[Gandalf:
Frodo and his gallant companion,Samwise, had many brave adventures
until finally they reached the rocky boarder of Mordor, domain of
the black lord, Sauron. There, Frodo was captured and imprisoned
in the tower of Cirith Ungol. Samwise vowed to enter the Orc infested
tower alone to save him. And the Ring of Doom was missing from 'round
Frodo's neck.]

Frodo of the nine fingers and the Ring of Doom.
Why does he have nine fingers?
Where is the Ring of Doom?

gttim
Genious ..... thanks for the laugh

This retard shoulda stuck his head in.

Tastes like chicken

I'd like to see a digit-al of that scene.

Great headline :)

"They could just take a fingerprint of the finger.
Then fingerprints of the suspect whose finger may or may not be missing.

If they match... (here's the clever bit) then the finger is his!

No need for awkward questions about the finger."

Not so fast, Monsieur Poirot. Unless the "suspect" already has fingerprints on file (and in particular, that finger's print on file), having the severed finger isn't going to do them a lot of good. Not only are your set of fingerprints unique from other human beings' fingerprints, but each and every one of your fingers has a unique print. I imagine some correlations could be drawn from the size, general pattern, etc, but probably not enough to stand up in court.

Has anybody made the "pull my finger joke yet?"

/redundant redundant

LeaLoo

What do you think he told them when they asked where his finger was?

Maybe he stuck it somewhere other than the mouth?

The jaguar obviously decided he didn't like the taste of humans and promptly spat the finger out. After all, cats are picky eaters. Human? Bllleeeaahh!

Ahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa..... dumbass!!!!

ahahahah ahahahaha ahahahaha...

Oh, I needed a laugh ... it's friday. I need a beer or sumfin....

ahhhhahahahahaaa

This has a great headline, but I'd prefer some use of cliche...

'Finger found outside of jaguar cage. Bloody, screaming man seen leaving the scene. Chief Wiggum's insight ensues.'

LeaLoo
Ditto. I figure either:

1. He couldn't fit more than his finger through the cage bars
2. The jaguar was actually quarantined somewhere, and a Furry was stealing his.... *ahem*! ...limelight.

Of course, who said that this guy was the fingers' owner?

Maybe he's been feeding the jaguar ...evidence...

/conspiracy theorist

this is the fourth day in row that the fark personal has been that creepy looking guy.

I propose a new Fark cliche: Bloody Screaming Man.

I think he'd make a great counterpart to Naked Man.

zoo officials say the man who visited daily

Uhmmmm.....wtf? Who visits a farking jaguar every day? Someone needs to buy this guy a life-sized stuffed version so he can have his finger fun in the privacy of his own home. I bet he's one of those people who have 35 emaciated cats (and their shiat) in their house.

Need to be careful with the finger food.

Don't go pointing any fingers until you're sure of who the guilty party is.