Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(USA Today)   Natalie Portman appears nearly nude in video filmed during her pregnancy. Her daughter was born February 22, her son shipped off in secrecy to Tatooine   ( usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Jonathan Safran Foer, Natalie Portman, singer/producer James Blake, Saturday Night Live, new music video, Anna Rose Holmer, Music video, friend Jonathan Safran  
•       •       •

3991 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Mar 2017 at 6:50 PM (21 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-03-20 05:01:56 PM  
img.fark.net

"No worries, I've got his back."
 
2017-03-20 05:03:46 PM  
Wow, did you see the stretch marks on her belly?
 
2017-03-20 05:10:24 PM  
Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.
 
2017-03-20 05:53:09 PM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?


Well, technically, since she's preggers, she is more naked than she would have been...in an exposed skin surface area sort of way.
 
2017-03-20 06:57:46 PM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.


It's technically correct.  You can't remove much more from a bikini without actually being nude.

Prove me wrong Farkers.  I eagerly await your research.
 
2017-03-20 07:01:29 PM  

ilikestuff: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.

It's technically correct.  You can't remove much more from a bikini without actually being nude.

Prove me wrong Farkers.  I eagerly await your research.


Didn't she play a stripper in "Closer"?
 
2017-03-20 07:06:41 PM  
I wonder what it's called.

Her new movie, that is.
 
2017-03-20 07:13:17 PM  
I nearly enjoyed that
 
2017-03-20 07:13:21 PM  
Ew
That was all black and white and artsy fartsy.
Plus she's all knocked up like a watermelon about to burst.
And Rosario Dawson did it better.

Screw you clickbaitmitter.
 
2017-03-20 07:13:59 PM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?


img.fark.net
How much nakeder could you be?
 
2017-03-20 07:19:57 PM  
Not big on birth videos.  Conceptions, however.......
 
2017-03-20 07:22:53 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

[img.fark.net image 480x360]
How much nakeder could you be?


It's USA Today, so
tse1.mm.bing.net
 
2017-03-20 07:24:09 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

[img.fark.net image 480x360]
How much nakeder could you be?


Or, of course, "None.  None more naked."
 
2017-03-20 07:25:06 PM  
They never should have given her an Oscar.  She's been phoning it in ever since.
 
2017-03-20 07:30:06 PM  

Flappyhead: They never should have given her an Oscar.  She's been phoning it in ever since.


And how does this differ from every Academy Award winner in history?
 
2017-03-20 07:32:51 PM  

fusillade762: ilikestuff: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.

It's technically correct.  You can't remove much more from a bikini without actually being nude.

Prove me wrong Farkers.  I eagerly await your research.

Didn't she play a stripper in "Closer"?


if the character doesnt get naked, it's not a stripper.
 
2017-03-20 07:34:18 PM  

ilikestuff: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.

It's technically correct.  You can't remove much more from a bikini without actually being nude.

Prove me wrong Farkers.  I eagerly await your research.


I think just wearing gloves would be preferable.  Small gloves.
 
2017-03-20 07:34:58 PM  
Milliepied came in her vagina. It's more likely than you think.
 
2017-03-20 07:39:00 PM  

Craw Fu: ilikestuff: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.

It's technically correct.  You can't remove much more from a bikini without actually being nude.

Prove me wrong Farkers.  I eagerly await your research.

I think just wearing gloves would be preferable.  Small gloves.


img.fark.net
You rang?
 
2017-03-20 07:40:51 PM  

Craw Fu: ilikestuff: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.

It's technically correct.  You can't remove much more from a bikini without actually being nude.

Prove me wrong Farkers.  I eagerly await your research.

I think just wearing gloves would be preferable.  Small gloves.


tse4.mm.bing.net
You rang?
 
2017-03-20 07:45:03 PM  

Billy Liar: Craw Fu: ilikestuff: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.

It's technically correct.  You can't remove much more from a bikini without actually being nude.

Prove me wrong Farkers.  I eagerly await your research.

I think just wearing gloves would be preferable.  Small gloves.

[img.fark.net image 299x162]
You rang?


The gloves would fit, you must not acquit.
 
2017-03-20 07:45:06 PM  
I'd still like to drive a submersible through her Naboo.
 
2017-03-20 07:47:21 PM  
So...by "nearly naked" Smitty means "wearing a fairly standard swimsuit."

Smitty, do you tell people you're "almost out of beer" at half a keg? You're the sort that spins, "You can totally see my neighbors f*cking in their living room" when in fact they're playing Scrabble?

OUT THE SUBMITTER!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD-GOD!
 
2017-03-20 08:00:49 PM  
Underneath that bikini, she is completely nude.
 
2017-03-20 08:06:27 PM  
Not necessarily....

images.amcnetworks.com
 
2017-03-20 08:07:15 PM  
my post was in response to Susan'sLittleAdamsApple, which I forgot to quote..
 
2017-03-20 08:17:12 PM  

Leader O'Cola: fusillade762: ilikestuff: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.

It's technically correct.  You can't remove much more from a bikini without actually being nude.

Prove me wrong Farkers.  I eagerly await your research.

Didn't she play a stripper in "Closer"?

if the character doesnt get naked, it's not a stripper.


Citation: Sin City
 
2017-03-20 08:22:29 PM  
A week or so before my daughter was to give birth she went in for a brazilian.  Then while giving birth the photographer (nope, not the son in law) took several closeups of the babies coming out (twins).  Looking at those pictures were both "aww hell no" and "I wanna look, but".
 
2017-03-20 08:27:59 PM  

vudukungfu: Ew
That was all black and white and artsy fartsy.
Plus she's all knocked up like a watermelon about to burst.
And Rosario Dawson did it better.

Screw you clickbaitmitter.


99% of "celebrity nude" photos have the woman hiding behind artfully placed gauze, or laying on their belly with a plant/shadow covering their ass, or waist up with arms folded over breasts to the point you often see more in their performing clothes.

I also used to hate on Howard Stern on E when he would bully porn stars into getting naked for a half hour until they removed their clothes so the big blur came on, a major step down from flimsy see through nipple/camel toe visible affairs
 
2017-03-20 08:35:36 PM  
Natalie Portman got naked for a short film that was kinda trailer/background/something for Darjeeling Limited. I'm sure none of you will want to google that.
 
2017-03-20 08:46:29 PM  

Petit_Merdeux: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Well, technically, since she's preggers, she is more naked than she would have been...in an exposed skin surface area sort of way.


slightlywarped.com
 
2017-03-20 08:50:58 PM  

Snotnose: A week or so before my daughter was to give birth she went in for a brazilian.  Then while giving birth the photographer (nope, not the son in law) took several closeups of the babies coming out (twins).  Looking at those pictures were both "aww hell no" and "I wanna look, but".


Gross! Really.
 
2017-03-20 08:59:06 PM  
I'm only wearing pants and a shirt. I guess I'm nearly naked too.
 
2017-03-20 09:07:02 PM  

Snotnose: A week or so before my daughter was to give birth she went in for a brazilian.  Then while giving birth the photographer (nope, not the son in law) took several closeups of the babies coming out (twins).  Looking at those pictures were both "aww hell no" and "I wanna look, but".


Dude?  Your daughter. Your. Daughter.
 
2017-03-20 09:11:39 PM  

Snotnose: A week or so before my daughter was to give birth she went in for a brazilian.  Then while giving birth the photographer (nope, not the son in law) took several closeups of the babies coming out (twins).  Looking at those pictures were both "aww hell no" and "I wanna look, but".


There are so very many things wrong with this post.
 
2017-03-20 09:17:32 PM  

Snotnose: A week or so before my daughter was to give birth she went in for a brazilian.  Then while giving birth the photographer (nope, not the son in law) took several closeups of the babies coming out (twins).  Looking at those pictures were both "aww hell no" and "I wanna look, but".


The aristocrats!
 
2017-03-20 09:39:52 PM  

morg: Petit_Merdeux: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Well, technically, since she's preggers, she is more naked than she would have been...in an exposed skin surface area sort of way.

[slightlywarped.com image 600x605]


Works for me.
 
2017-03-20 10:34:23 PM  
Ah, my middle child's birthday is 2/22.
 
2017-03-20 10:42:19 PM  

Flappyhead: They never should have given her an Oscar.  She's been phoning it in ever since.


She was never a good actress.
 
2017-03-20 10:56:13 PM  
So... She wasn't petrified and covered in hot grits?
 
2017-03-20 11:01:55 PM  

Fano: Leader O'Cola: fusillade762: ilikestuff: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Screw you and your clickbait link, Dumbmitter.

It's technically correct.  You can't remove much more from a bikini without actually being nude.

Prove me wrong Farkers.  I eagerly await your research.

Didn't she play a stripper in "Closer"?

if the character doesnt get naked, it's not a stripper.

Citation: Sin City


From Dusk till Dawn.
 
2017-03-20 11:14:48 PM  

Badgers: So... She wasn't petrified and covered in hot grits?


img.fark.net
 
2017-03-21 12:18:04 AM  

NASAM: Snotnose: A week or so before my daughter was to give birth she went in for a brazilian.  Then while giving birth the photographer (nope, not the son in law) took several closeups of the babies coming out (twins).  Looking at those pictures were both "aww hell no" and "I wanna look, but".

There are so very many things wrong with this post.


I think I was misunderstood.  I never looked at the pics.  I wanted to, but damn it was my daughter.

I still don't understand why she had a professional photographer in the delivery room taking those pics.  It's not like she's a stripper or anything.

/ before kids it was "f this f'in sh** brain dead  f'in c*nt"
// after kids it's been no swearing
/// plus church 3 times a week (sunday morning/night, wed night)
//// think she went to vacation bible school once when she was 7-8, don't remember
 
2017-03-21 12:32:07 AM  

rillettes: Snotnose: A week or so before my daughter was to give birth she went in for a brazilian.  Then while giving birth the photographer (nope, not the son in law) took several closeups of the babies coming out (twins).  Looking at those pictures were both "aww hell no" and "I wanna look, but".

Dude?  Your daughter. Your. Daughter.


I don't even want to watch someone I'm greatly attracted to giving birth. I certainly wouldn't want to watch a blood relative do it.
 
2017-03-21 12:32:56 AM  

Snotnose: A week or so before my daughter was to give birth she went in for a brazilian.  Then while giving birth the photographer (nope, not the son in law) took several closeups of the babies coming out (twins).  Looking at those pictures were both "aww hell no" and "I wanna look, but".


Trump-like typing detected...
 
2017-03-21 01:49:46 AM  

Ivo Shandor: Badgers: So... She wasn't petrified and covered in hot grits?

[img.fark.net image 240x243]


Me too! Is this what it feels like to be old?
 
2017-03-21 03:10:41 AM  
 
2017-03-21 06:55:44 AM  

vudukungfu: Ew
That was all black and white and artsy fartsy.
Plus she's all knocked up like a watermelon about to burst.
And Rosario Dawson did it better.

Screw you clickbaitmitter.


rosario dawson does everything better.
 
2017-03-21 07:28:25 AM  

morg: Petit_Merdeux: Farking Clown Shoes: Since when is wearing a bikini "nearly naked"?

Well, technically, since she's preggers, she is more naked than she would have been...in an exposed skin surface area sort of way.

[slightlywarped.com image 600x605]


Got the original?
 
2017-03-21 07:36:41 AM  
Just as I was about to reach peak fapping,  they had to show the alien in her body moving around.
 
Displayed 50 of 63 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report