Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mother Nature Network)   Consider yourself a slob unless everyday you make the bed, clean the toilet, wipe the shower, sweep the kitchen floor, put dirty clothes in the laundry bin, and clear away all your clutter   ( mnn.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Good Housekeeping Institute, Green Cleaning Experts, white cleaning erasers, Dougherty, Cleanliness, Writer Lucy Mangan, tooth mugs, room  
•       •       •

5603 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2017 at 8:27 AM (35 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



117 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-03-19 07:48:16 AM  
Okay.

Now what?
 
2017-03-19 08:04:40 AM  
Since my OCD does not work that way, I am getting a kick out of Look! a penny!
 
2017-03-19 08:19:48 AM  
The author of the article:
nbc.comView Full Size
 
2017-03-19 08:22:41 AM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Okay.

Now what?


Exactly.  The rest of society already considers me one, so what?  I'm not losing sleep over it, that for certain.
 
2017-03-19 08:34:20 AM  
Yeah Nah...
 
2017-03-19 08:36:31 AM  
Good Housekeeping circa 1950? In the era of stay at home wives maybe this was realistic, but in the modern two income household it probably isn't going to happen.
 
2017-03-19 08:38:34 AM  
Forgot polishing the napkin rings
 
2017-03-19 08:39:45 AM  

Exluddite: The author of the article:
[www.nbc.com image 640x360]


He loves the floating floor system.  Sweeping the floor includes taking the floor itself up, sweeping the subfloor, and putting the floor back down before going to bed.  Although his family understood why he ran out of time and had to cancel Thanksgiving.  They saw the stapled paper bag by the road labeled "floor sweepings", and knew it wasn't food scraps for the homeless.
 
2017-03-19 08:49:28 AM  
It's also called "not having enough time in the day to do all the things so you have to pick and choose what needs to be done".  Priorities.
 
2017-03-19 08:52:06 AM  
Poor people problems.

That's what the maid is for.

Now all I need is the maid. And the money.
 
2017-03-19 08:53:07 AM  
If this is the standard, I'm way past slob, heading to whatever is worse.
Or maybe I just have a life.
 
2017-03-19 08:54:00 AM  
I've been honestly thinking about having somebody come in and clean once a week.  Which really bugs me because I consider it an indulgent white people luxury.  But frankly, my wife and kid are kind of slobs, and I like a house that is at least moderately neat.  With my work schedule, I can't keep up with all the cleaning that needs to be done.
 
2017-03-19 08:54:21 AM  
Guess my crib is (and will remain) a Petri dish....
 
2017-03-19 08:56:14 AM  
I'm a cluttered mess, but generally hygienic.
- Making the bed is unsanitary, it's better to air that sucker out.
- You don't kitchen cleaning products other than dishwashing soap if you just wipe spills up quickly, rather than letting them dry into a crusty stain.  This saves time in the long run, and let's face it, laziness is a virtue that should be protected.
- If you've ever re-grouted shower tiles, it's a messy ugly job.  Once it's dried and properly sealed, the last thing you want to do is to hit it every day with caustic chemicals and scrubbing.  People manage to trash fiberglass tubs pretty quickly as well by scouring them to death.  Science it out, use a gentle product that won't harm the material.  Don't go full nuclear.  Ventilation matters.
- Dirty clothes make an excellent bedroom rug to keep my feet warm.  When I eventually gather them up, they've acted as a fine dry mop, saving me the effort of cleaning the floor!
- My dog is a shedding beast.  I always keep a sheet over the couch.  Air currents tend to push the dog hair up against one wall.  I leave the vacuum cleaner plugged in and next to that wall, and just turn it on about once a week.

/Why yes, I am single, why do you ask?
 
2017-03-19 08:58:25 AM  
Felix Ungar approves.
 
2017-03-19 08:59:30 AM  

Archie Goodwin: Poor people problems.

That's what the maid is for.

Now all I need is the maid. And the money.


When I get rich.  Two laundresses/laundreurs/laundry therapists (whatever they're calling themselves these days), at once.
 
2017-03-19 09:02:10 AM  
Why would you wipe the shower daily when it only gets wet once every week or two?
 
2017-03-19 09:07:42 AM  
Why clean something that I'll be pissing all over an hour from now?

Also, cleaning the toilet every day seems like a waste.
 
2017-03-19 09:08:31 AM  
You make the bed every day?  Do you tie your shoes after you take them off too?

/Gaffigan
//I'm a total slob too
///I smell bacon cooking for breakfast, I think I'll be happy regardless of how much a slob I am.
 
2017-03-19 09:11:28 AM  
Remember, it doesn't need to be cleaned unless you can smell it from outside your front door.
 
2017-03-19 09:17:31 AM  
So I'm only a slob 13 out of 14 days, since the cleaning ladies do all that shiat for me. Plus they hand scrub the floors and vacuum so hard that they make triangle shaped crop circles.
 
2017-03-19 09:19:53 AM  

Cdr.Murdock: Guess my crib is (and will remain) a Petri dish....


Don't worry, you'll live longer!  Frequent, low-grade exposure to contagions strengthens the human immune system!  Just worry about your shower and toilet, then maybe the kitchen sink, fridge, and trash cans.  That's where the really dangerous stuff (staph, coliform, mold & mildew) or irritating stuff grows.  Try to keep those spots from being completely crusted with filth and you won't catch anything life-threatening.  Everything else is gravy and/or for appearances' sake more than hygiene.  Of course, if you're gonna do that, you can't treat your kitchen counters like a food prep surface (allow food to touch it, especially after it's cooked or about to be served), but other than that you'll be fine.
 
2017-03-19 09:21:46 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-03-19 09:23:20 AM  

Close2TheEdge: I've been honestly thinking about having somebody come in and clean once a week.  Which really bugs me because I consider it an indulgent white people luxury.  But frankly, my wife and kid are kind of slobs, and I like a house that is at least moderately neat.  With my work schedule, I can't keep up with all the cleaning that needs to be done.


Did the Ambien Walrus log me in as someone else's account?

/Not a neat freak, but I do like having flat surfaces on which to place things
 
2017-03-19 09:23:57 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-03-19 09:26:18 AM  
I got to be a housewife for a solid year before I started school, and I did all of this every day. It's not that I'm a neat freak, I just literally had nothing better to do
 
2017-03-19 09:31:09 AM  
I grew up with a messy family. One of my roomies in my young adult period grew up in a very tidy family.

Her habits rubbed off on me, but I never did get to the point where I made my bed every single day.

Her attitude was "you never go to sleep in a dirty house", so putting things off didn't really do you that much good. If you're going to have to clean up the mess you made today anyway, you stop putting things off at all.

For instance, after you cook and eat, it's way easier to immediately clean the pots, pans, and dishes when you haven't let the leftover mess dry onto them for a couple of days.
 
2017-03-19 09:31:28 AM  
I was a slob until my early 20's.  I worked at a Hard Rock Cafe and one of my co-workers was a 40 year old Ethiopian guy who had once been thrown into prison for desertion from the French Foreign Legion (after a truck bomb blew up 15 of his friends right in front of him).  I let him stay overnight on my couch one time when he was working two double shifts in a row.

When a guy who spent 3 years in a military prison in Tunisia, wrapping his feet to avoid rats eating his toes and shiatting in a bucket, tells you that you ought to clean up more, you pay attention.
 
2017-03-19 09:33:47 AM  
LOL - when I get home from work, I have approximately 90 minutes before I need to be in bed.
 
OOF
2017-03-19 09:36:03 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-03-19 09:42:09 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

"My God, it's already 7 in the AM and you haven't made your bed, cleaned the toilet, wiped the shower, swept the kitchen floor, put your dirty clothes in the laundry bin, and cleared away your clutter? Do you want the whole world to consider you a slob?"

"All I want is a new roommate, you crazy obsessive freak."
 
2017-03-19 09:42:11 AM  
I'be always enjoyed cleaning. Cleaning is a stress reliever for me. I do most things on the list, with the exceptions of cleaning the toilets (I only clean them once a week), and sweeping the kitchen and bathroom floors (I only mop once or twice a week). But I've got it down to a routine, and I'd be surprised if I spend a half an hour a day on it. My kids tease me, but cleaning burns off energy and makes me happy in my home.
 
2017-03-19 09:46:03 AM  

Ker_Thwap: I'm a cluttered mess, but generally hygienic. - Making the bed is unsanitary, it's better to air that sucker out.


True. Bacteria and all sorts of things love warm, humid, dark environments. Making the bed keeps it that way. Far better to leave the bed exposed to the sunlight and air where it will kill off lots of those nasties.

Writer Lucy Mangan at The Guardian scoffs at the eight daily tasks: Making the beds; cleaning the toilet; wiping the shower, kitchen surfaces and hob (what the heck is a hob?)

What a gas hob might look like.
img.fark.netView Full Size


/Electric hobs exist as well.
//Yet another British/American difference.
///Stove=cooker.
 
2017-03-19 09:46:24 AM  
Don't be a slob.
Wipe down your hob.
 
2017-03-19 09:47:42 AM  
everyday you make the bed

every day you make the bed.  "Everyday" as a single word is an adjective.

Substitute "each day" in your head to figure out which usage is right.

/pet peeve
 
2017-03-19 09:51:45 AM  
The closest I come to doing any of that is sweeping around the litter box every morning.
 
2017-03-19 10:00:15 AM  
I clean my toilet bowl once every three months or so by dropping one of these in the toilet tank.

img.fark.netView Full Size


Oooh, sparkly!
 
2017-03-19 10:00:37 AM  
The drapes in the drier thing works well and is minimal effort.  Did not quite realize how nasty they had gotten until doing that.
 
2017-03-19 10:03:22 AM  
Always flush twice.
 
2017-03-19 10:10:46 AM  
I haven't made a bed since my active duty days that ended back in 2000. I'm just going to unmake it a few hours later, so why bother?

Plus there is a big difference between messy and dirty

Messy: pile of DVD cases on TV stand. Laundry basket of clean clothes on bedroom floor that you just pull from instead of putting away. Towel that lives on shower curtain rod instead of hanger. Case of coke on kitchen floor instead of pantry.

Dirty: pile of festering pizza boxes strewn about kitchen. Moving wall made of roaches. Pile of damp dirty laundry growing mold. Used wank kleenex mountain by bed. Dirty dish pile that is now home to family of racoons.

I can deal with messy. Not dirty.
 
2017-03-19 10:15:12 AM  
I guess the only time I'm not a slob is when mom comes downstairs for a visit.
 
2017-03-19 10:17:38 AM  
'Consider yourself a slob unless everyday you make the bed,'

Hahahaha... No. The closest I get to that is changing sheets.

'clean the toilet,wipe the shower '

Everyday? Yeah no.

'sweep the kitchen floor'

I swiffer quite a bit, simply because it's literally the easiest way to clean up even small messes and you might as well get the immediate area in the five seconds that takes.

'put dirty clothes in the laundry bin'

I always do that, but that's because I'm lazy and this is the fastest way to not have to pick up clothes.

'and clear away all your clutter'

F you, I like my clutter.
 
2017-03-19 10:19:53 AM  
Sometimes I don't get my clean clothes put away in a timely manner, and they get covered with husky sheddings, so I resubmit them to be washed by the SO. She hates that.
 
2017-03-19 10:27:09 AM  
I prefer an appropriately challenged immune system vs. living in a sterile environment.
 
2017-03-19 10:33:48 AM  
Screw that. I'll do the little things as often as I can, but the rest can wait a couple of weeks until I've got a free day to sacrifice a couple of hours to bong rips and a nice cleaning session.

/single and only cleaning up after myself and the cat
 
2017-03-19 10:40:08 AM  

seriously.though: I got to be a housewife for a solid year before I started school, and I did all of this every day. It's not that I'm a neat freak, I just literally had nothing better to do


You should have called me.  I specialize is lovin' housewives.  Of course, what you did with the remaining 7 hours and 56 minutes of your 8 hour day would still be your problem.
 
2017-03-19 10:45:08 AM  

SquirrelNova: Good Housekeeping circa 1950? In the era of stay at home wives maybe this was realistic, but in the modern two income household it probably isn't going to happen.


Ha! I have a stay at home wife and it still isn't going to happen!
 
2017-03-19 10:48:20 AM  
The inside of my microwave is seasoned.
 
2017-03-19 10:55:20 AM  
i'm not a neat freak but i don't like clutter or dirty dishes in the sink. I do have a clean house because i can't relax if things are messy. There are only two of us so we don't generate a lot of mess to begin with. This was not the case when our daughter was little,maybe that's why i like things clean and uncluttered now.
 
2017-03-19 10:58:46 AM  

BullBearMS: I clean my toilet bowl once every three months or so by dropping one of these in the toilet tank.

[img.fark.net image 300x488]

Oooh, sparkly!


Bad idea.  The chlorine is harsh on the rubber parts in the tank.  Get one of these instead:

https://www.amazon.com/Fluidmaster-8300P8-Flush-Sparkle-Bleach/dp/B00​0​2YOQXQ

Note that with a bit of work with a dremel tool you can make the cartridges easy to reload (cut a slot in the side of the cartridge, the system doesn't need modification), 3 1" chlorine tablets in the swimming pool section fit well and do the same job but at a few percent of the price of replacing the cartridge.
 
Displayed 50 of 117 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report