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(Yelp)   Sure, you've written your share of drunken, angry Yelp reviews, but it's hard to top a drunken, angry Yelp review written by Doug Stanhope   ( yelp.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, car wash, Fuck, Desert Hot Springs, dollar car wash, Lawley Junior High, original service order, Junior High School, biggest selling models  
•       •       •

4783 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Mar 2017 at 11:19 AM (34 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-03-18 09:36:40 AM  
Wow. What a waste of time...
 
2017-03-18 10:23:44 AM  
Why do you need a hotel for a 7 hour ish drive?
 
2017-03-18 11:02:24 AM  
Outside, at the series of pools - or "urinariums" as they should be called

*Chortle*
 
2017-03-18 11:24:55 AM  
bor-ing
 
2017-03-18 11:28:36 AM  
1 Star - Would not read again. Reviewer is unfunny and boring.
 
2017-03-18 11:29:51 AM  

jaytkay: 1 Star - Would not read again. Reviewer is unfunny and boring.


Apparently fark is way funnier than Yelp.

He gets a lot of funny votes for those posts that would get none on here.
 
2017-03-18 11:38:09 AM  
When someone says Stanhope, my mind goes to school shootings

Doug Stanhope - School Shootings
Youtube uRDAWBo16PE
 
2017-03-18 11:42:27 AM  
img.fark.netimg.fark.netimg.fark.net
 
2017-03-18 11:46:22 AM  

hodge-podge: [img.fark.net image 425x504][img.fark.net image 407x599][img.fark.net image 385x597]


Yeah, that owner isn't passive/aggressive,  at all.
/douchbag
 
2017-03-18 11:50:59 AM  
That was meh.

Stanhope is a national treasure, tho. And by 'national treasure', I mean disgusting bastard I need to get drunk with.
 
2017-03-18 11:56:02 AM  
About the only redeeming quality of Doug Stanhope is his outspoken hatred of Dr. Drew.
 
2017-03-18 12:02:53 PM  

chitownmike: hodge-podge: [img.fark.net image 425x504][img.fark.net image 407x599][img.fark.net image 385x597]

Yeah, that owner isn't passive/aggressive,  at all.
/douchbag


Looks like 3 different signs, 3 different sidewalks. So I'm guessing those are three different restaurants.

And how do you know it's passive aggressive and they're douchebags? Could be a reaction to a douchebag reviewer, and a way to take it in stride and be humorous about it.
 
2017-03-18 12:03:27 PM  
Yup, that's why the Man Show died.
 
2017-03-18 12:09:59 PM  
I keep getting Doug Stanhope and Doug Benson mixed up.
 
2017-03-18 12:12:40 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Yup, that's why the Man Show died.


wrong.
img.fark.net
 
2017-03-18 12:17:20 PM  
And they do have a bar. It is under-staffed - one poor girl who not only worked the bar but also had to service the restaurant and the entire shrieking mobs at the pool. I got two drinks in almost 90 minutes in a bar with only three people in it. Not her fault. She was very apologetic and overwhelmed otherwise.

This was nice. He's laying the blame where it belongs and giving the poor minimum wage slave some credit for attempting to do the job of three or four people.

basemetal: Why do you need a hotel for a 7 hour ish drive?


Depends on when he left and what he did before leaving. Could have been a full day, could have an early call first thing in the morning on the day he's there. He doesn't work a regular 9-5 job, so you can't really plan your drive around a known starting time. Also, he was leaving from Tucson, not Bisbee, where he lives,  so he quite possibly worked a full night's worth of shows in Tucson, and then hit the road. Drive 4 hours of that, spend a couple of days in what he thought was a nice patch of desert, and drive the rest fresh and relaxed. Remember, he was supposed to be there for two days. Either way, who farking cares? He was being bilked for $250/night for a shiathole. Your quality of product isn't supposed to be dependent on whether or not you "needed" that product.

mongbiohazard: chitownmike: hodge-podge: [img.fark.net image 425x504][img.fark.net image 407x599][img.fark.net image 385x597]

Yeah, that owner isn't passive/aggressive,  at all.
/douchbag

Looks like 3 different signs, 3 different sidewalks. So I'm guessing those are three different restaurants.

And how do you know it's passive aggressive and they're douchebags? Could be a reaction to a douchebag reviewer, and a way to take it in stride and be humorous about it.


Shhhhhh! People love to throw "passive aggressive" around whenever they want to feel superior to someone, let him have his moment, it doesn't hurt anyone.
 
2017-03-18 12:18:28 PM  
I got shiatfaced drunk with his manager a couple years ago.  Dude is a classic angry Scotsman - Freaking hilariously defensive about everything, and ready to argue the color of the deep blue sea.

I tried to give him four stars but then I passed out on the keyboard.
 
2017-03-18 12:20:04 PM  

The Pope of Manwich Village: About the only redeeming quality of Doug Stanhope is his outspoken hatred of Dr. Drew.


His description of helping his mother end her life is both genuinely touching and farking hilarious.

Doug Stanhope: Beer Hall Putsch
Youtube gS49wg9WD2Y
 
2017-03-18 12:40:17 PM  

basemetal: Why do you need a hotel for a 7 hour ish drive?


If you are driving alone, sometimes 7 hours can be too much in one shot

//neck & shoulder issues-can do about 4 hours & that's it
//CSB
 
2017-03-18 12:42:44 PM  

Mikey1969: Shhhhhh! People love to throw "passive aggressive" around whenever they want to feel superior to someone, let him have his moment, it doesn't hurt anyone.


That sounds very passive-aggressive of him.

/hey, it works! I feel totally superior to that guy now! Fetch my slippers and be snappy about it, lesser person, or I shall give you a most scathing review on Yelp!
 
2017-03-18 12:45:26 PM  
I found them amusing, but I live near him and have been to a few of the places he reviews.
 
2017-03-18 01:20:20 PM  

chitownmike: hodge-podge: [img.fark.net image 425x504][img.fark.net image 407x599][img.fark.net image 385x597]

Yeah, that owner isn't passive/aggressive,  at all.
/douchbag


C'mon man, was the meatball sandwich really that bad?
 
2017-03-18 01:26:08 PM  
That was as unfunny as his stand-up.
 
2017-03-18 02:07:54 PM  

Hooker with a Penis: I found them amusing, but I live near him and have been to a few of the places he reviews.


Are the reviews accurate?
 
2017-03-18 02:14:09 PM  
I don't even like Stanhope's shtick as a whole, and I enjoyed reading the review. Haters gonna hate.
 
2017-03-18 02:18:33 PM  

Harry Wagstaff: That was as unfunny as his stand-up.


Your education is showing.

img.fark.net
 
2017-03-18 02:46:04 PM  
Why does everyone who drinks to excess think that everyone else drinks to excess?

It's really quite an annoying trait, you drunk bastards.
 
2017-03-18 02:47:58 PM  
This was a gem:

'So I waited to go to yelp to shiat on a place that probably has exquisite Chinese food and a lovely woman who probably survived the Rape of Nanking only to look past those atrocities and serve Japanese food as some therapeutic form of coming to terms. "
 
2017-03-18 02:52:49 PM  

mongbiohazard: Hooker with a Penis: I found them amusing, but I live near him and have been to a few of the places he reviews.

Are the reviews accurate?


his Lawley Automotive review probably is i've heard bad things about them,  I go to Tucson to buy my cars cause local dealerships 90% owned by Lawley suck.

The restaurant in Bisbee and the brewery review were accurate, Bisbee has alot of great little restaurants and eclectic people working and running them.
 
2017-03-18 02:58:30 PM  
'Yelp' is not a nice word. It's the sound a small dog makes in response to a sudden minor injury.

Check out my reviews on both Whimper and Cower.
 
2017-03-18 03:08:21 PM  

Almost-ready: 'Yelp' is not a nice word. It's the sound a small dog makes in response to a sudden minor injury.

Check out my reviews on both Whimper and Cower.


I'm going to start a restaurant review site called Feltch.
 
2017-03-18 03:20:33 PM  

chitownmike: hodge-podge: [img.fark.net image 425x504][img.fark.net image 407x599][img.fark.net image 385x597]

Yeah, that owner isn't passive/aggressive,  at all.
/douchbag


img.fark.net
 
2017-03-18 03:21:30 PM  

WilderKWight: Almost-ready: 'Yelp' is not a nice word. It's the sound a small dog makes in response to a sudden minor injury.

Check out my reviews on both Whimper and Cower.

I'm going to start a restaurant review site called Feltch.


I don't want to be a Debbie Downer here, but I just don't think Feltch is going to happen.
 
2017-03-18 03:40:56 PM  

Arachnophobe: WilderKWight: Almost-ready: 'Yelp' is not a nice word. It's the sound a small dog makes in response to a sudden minor injury.

Check out my reviews on both Whimper and Cower.

I'm going to start a restaurant review site called Feltch.

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer here, but I just don't think Feltch is going to happen.


Well it might if you ask nice and promise to give me a reach around...
 
2017-03-18 03:42:59 PM  

Mikey1969: And they do have a bar. It is under-staffed - one poor girl who not only worked the bar but also had to service the restaurant and the entire shrieking mobs at the pool. I got two drinks in almost 90 minutes in a bar with only three people in it. Not her fault. She was very apologetic and overwhelmed otherwise.

This was nice. He's laying the blame where it belongs and giving the poor minimum wage slave some credit for attempting to do the job of three or four people.

basemetal: Why do you need a hotel for a 7 hour ish drive?

Depends on when he left and what he did before leaving. Could have been a full day, could have an early call first thing in the morning on the day he's there. He doesn't work a regular 9-5 job, so you can't really plan your drive around a known starting time. Also, he was leaving from Tucson, not Bisbee, where he lives,  so he quite possibly worked a full night's worth of shows in Tucson, and then hit the road. Drive 4 hours of that, spend a couple of days in what he thought was a nice patch of desert, and drive the rest fresh and relaxed. Remember, he was supposed to be there for two days. Either way, who farking cares? He was being bilked for $250/night for a shiathole. Your quality of product isn't supposed to be dependent on whether or not you "needed" that product.

mongbiohazard: chitownmike: hodge-podge: [img.fark.net image 425x504][img.fark.net image 407x599][img.fark.net image 385x597]

Yeah, that owner isn't passive/aggressive,  at all.
/douchbag

Looks like 3 different signs, 3 different sidewalks. So I'm guessing those are three different restaurants.

And how do you know it's passive aggressive and they're douchebags? Could be a reaction to a douchebag reviewer, and a way to take it in stride and be humorous about it.

Shhhhhh! People love to throw "passive aggressive" around whenever they want to feel superior to someone, let him have his moment, it doesn't hurt anyone.


Meh it lacks sly humor and a specific logical fact-based common oddity of behavior arguement.to draw you in. He writes for himself, too much of that these days. No nuance to send you away considering any part of it.
 
2017-03-18 03:44:43 PM  

Arachnophobe: WilderKWight: Almost-ready: 'Yelp' is not a nice word. It's the sound a small dog makes in response to a sudden minor injury.

Check out my reviews on both Whimper and Cower.

I'm going to start a restaurant review site called Feltch.

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer here, but I just don't think Feltch is going to happen.


It has no...swag.
 
2017-03-18 03:50:25 PM  
Hunter S Thompson wannabe
 
2017-03-18 04:02:14 PM  
I've never heard of this guy before, but now I want to go to Bisbee and get drunk with him.
 
2017-03-18 04:28:55 PM  
Who the fark is Doug Stanhope?
 
2017-03-18 05:02:14 PM  
Yelp isn't your personal nuerotica site.
 
2017-03-18 05:55:44 PM  

Dansker: The Pope of Manwich Village: About the only redeeming quality of Doug Stanhope is his outspoken hatred of Dr. Drew.

His description of helping his mother end her life is both genuinely touching and farking hilarious.

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/gS49wg9WD2Y?start=958 - 480x360]


Wow, that video got copyright-striken in the middle of me listening to it.
 
2017-03-18 08:37:10 PM  
Probably unfair to write a review from what was a near black-out drunk but from the hazy snapshot memories it was fantastic. If this was indeed the place we ate.

That's hilarious.

Love the butthurt comments in this thread about Stanhope. Sorry he didn't admonish Johnny Depp like your libtard manual tells you to.
 
2017-03-18 08:48:20 PM  
If you ever list anywhere that you are a "Yelp Elite,"  put a barrel in your mouth. Life's over.
 
2017-03-18 09:38:08 PM  

basemetal: Why do you need a hotel for a 7 hour ish drive?


Because who wants to make a 7 hour drive home at night after playing 2 shows? My guess is he'd rather find a nearby bar and relax.
 
2017-03-18 09:41:23 PM  

karmaceutical: Who the fark is Doug Stanhope?


He's one of those "real dudebro" comedians who tells jokes about being a gross, hairy, drunk, obtuse, rude, unfeeling, knuckle-dragging man and how men should be proud of that. He's funny if you're one of the aforementioned troglodytes, but he's tedious if you have more than a few brain cells to rub together.

Basically, he is to male comedians as Amy Schumer is to female comedians.
 
2017-03-18 10:33:51 PM  

WilderKWight: Basically, he is to male comedians as Amy Schumer is to female comedians.


Oh, so you've never actually watched one of his shows.
 
2017-03-18 10:36:41 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Yup, that's why the Man Show died.


No it wasn't. It died because he left the show and when they tried Joe Rogan and the other guy they put a million restrictions on content to make it less funny.
 
2017-03-19 12:44:41 AM  

Harry Wagstaff: That was as unfunny as his stand-up.


Let me guess, Dane Cook and Jim Gaffigan are as good as Fark Hero Bill Hicks...
 
2017-03-19 12:49:28 AM  

WilderKWight: karmaceutical: Who the fark is Doug Stanhope?

He's one of those "real dudebro" comedians who tells jokes about being a gross, hairy, drunk, obtuse, rude, unfeeling, knuckle-dragging man and how men should be proud of that. He's funny if you're one of the aforementioned troglodytes, but he's tedious if you have more than a few brain cells to rub together.

Basically, he is to male comedians as Amy Schumer is to female comedians.


Wow.

This beats a lot of things I've seen in the Politics tab for "stupid".
 
2017-03-19 02:32:16 AM  

fatalvenom: Harry Wagstaff: That was as unfunny as his stand-up.

Let me guess, Dane Cook and Jim Gaffigan are as good as Fark Hero Bill Hicks...


Jim Gaffigan annoys the he'll out of me. I can't explain why.
 
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