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(Miami Herald)   Investigation concludes that Jose Fernandez boat crash went down just how we all thought it did   ( miamiherald.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Fernandez, Jetty, Miami, pitcher Jose Fernandez, Florida, Speed, Florida Marlins, Miami-Dade County, Florida  
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1159 clicks; posted to Sports » on 16 Mar 2017 at 1:20 PM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



24 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-03-16 10:28:46 AM  
Looks like it went up to me.
 
2017-03-16 10:56:17 AM  
On steroids?
 
2017-03-16 12:58:41 PM  
Rich, drunk, and speeding in a boat is no way to go through life, son.
 
2017-03-16 01:22:01 PM  
Shocked not shocked.
 
2017-03-16 01:22:27 PM  

Barfmaker: Rich, drunk, and speeding in a boat is no way to go through life, son.


It's apparently a great way to go through a jetty, though.
 
2017-03-16 01:27:41 PM  
"Nor can it lessen the love and passion he felt for his family, friends, teammates and all his fans in South Florida and around the world."

The two friends that were also killed in the accident probably wish he was a little less passionate when he crashed into the jetty.
 
2017-03-16 01:48:23 PM  
There, but for the grace of God, go I.
 
2017-03-16 02:13:51 PM  

bainsguy: Barfmaker: Rich, drunk, and speeding in a boat is no way to go through life, son.

It's apparently a great way to go through a jetty, though.


I think technically the jetty went through the boat.
 
2017-03-16 02:13:58 PM  
Drunk was not a surprise but the cocaine part is.
 
2017-03-16 02:18:21 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: Drunk was not a surprise but the cocaine part is.


???

He was young, rich and lived in Miami. It would be a surprise it there wasn't coke involved.
 
2017-03-16 02:22:55 PM  

grokca: On steroids?


No, his blood was already supersaturated with other chemicals.
 
2017-03-16 02:47:10 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-03-16 02:58:28 PM  
She don't lie. She don't lie. She don't lie.
 
2017-03-16 03:34:18 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: There, but for the grace of God, go I.


If my choice was between young rich and coked up on my boat v. old poor and pissing myself, I'd take the boat.

I won't shed a tear for a guy who lived the party life and bowed out early.
 
2017-03-16 04:15:41 PM  

The Irrumator: Ow! That was my feelings!: There, but for the grace of God, go I.

If my choice was between young rich and coked up on my boat v. old poor and pissing myself, I'd take the boat.

I won't shed a tear for a guy who lived the party life and bowed out early.


Eh, it's a stupid waste of life and talent. Nothing honorable about it.

As someone on his 'seventh' life(I counted), the only thing I know is I have no right to judge. No reason I should be here and other and better are not. Life is stupid and random.
 
2017-03-16 05:24:25 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: Peter von Nostrand: Drunk was not a surprise but the cocaine part is.

???

He was young, rich and lived in Miami. It would be a surprise it there wasn't coke involved.


Good point.
 
2017-03-16 06:25:30 PM  

grokca: On steroids?


It's Miami, cocaine
 
2017-03-16 07:03:06 PM  
Fernandez's waterlogged phone could never be turned back on, making tracing his cocaine supplier impossible

Geez, don't work too hard guys. Messages are likely stored in some sort of nonvolatile memory. If your battery dies you don't lose your messages. If that's not the case you could subpoena the phone records from the phone company. But maybe there's a law against that or something.
 
2017-03-16 08:24:21 PM  
drivin' that train boat, high on cocaine. casey jones jose fernandez watch your speed.

trouble ahead, trouble behind. and you know that notion jetty just crossed my mind.
 
2017-03-16 09:08:52 PM  

What_Would_Jimi_Do: drivin' that train boat, high on cocaine. casey jones jose fernandez watch your speed.

trouble ahead, trouble behind. and you know that notion jetty just crossed my mind.


Kaneclap.gif
 
2017-03-16 09:23:40 PM  

iamskibibitz: Fernandez's waterlogged phone could never be turned back on, making tracing his cocaine supplier impossible

Geez, don't work too hard guys. Messages are likely stored in some sort of nonvolatile memory. If your battery dies you don't lose your messages. If that's not the case you could subpoena the phone records from the phone company. But maybe there's a law against that or something.


While maybe true they also may not want his name released if they got it off the phone.  All the Fernandez apologists would then blame the dealer for murdering all three guys and not the dude who decided to drive a speed boat souped up on coke in the middle of the night.
 
2017-03-16 09:52:37 PM  

themunsterfullback: iamskibibitz: Fernandez's waterlogged phone could never be turned back on, making tracing his cocaine supplier impossible

Geez, don't work too hard guys. Messages are likely stored in some sort of nonvolatile memory. If your battery dies you don't lose your messages. If that's not the case you could subpoena the phone records from the phone company. But maybe there's a law against that or something.

While maybe true they also may not want his name released if they got it off the phone.  All the Fernandez apologists would then blame the dealer for murdering all three guys and not the dude who decided to drive a speed boat souped up on coke in the middle of the night.



Or at least one of the investigators is a customer of Fernandez' supplier, or one of them knows the supplier personally.

And in any case, they know the supplier is at least two orders of magnitude wealthier than Fernandez could ever have become. This means that the supplier's actions were legal by definition, since his actions did not harm someone richer than himself.
 
2017-03-16 10:57:15 PM  
Meh. An overpaid athlete baseball player dies doing something stupid.
 
2017-03-17 05:43:23 PM  

The Irrumator: Ow! That was my feelings!: There, but for the grace of God, go I.

If my choice was between young rich and coked up on my boat v. old poor and pissing myself, I'd take the boat.

I won't shed a tear for a guy who lived the party life and bowed out early.


His girlfriend was pregnant with his child at the time.
 
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