Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Today)   Another invention nobody was calling for: Ranch dressing fountain   ( today.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, American cuisine, Hidden Valley, now-ubiquitous chocolate fountain, Buffalo wings, National Ranch Dressing, English-language films, ranch fountain, Chicken  
•       •       •

3173 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2017 at 12:19 AM (44 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-03-14 08:23:01 PM  
AKA: Peter North.
 
2017-03-14 08:31:43 PM  
Sadly, as someone in the industry, and having done a ton of brunch and wedding banquets on a large scale: this is something that people HAVE been asking for...
 
2017-03-14 08:43:23 PM  

hubiestubert: Sadly, as someone in the industry, and having done a ton of brunch and wedding banquets on a large scale: this is something that people HAVE been asking for...


Can't you just reload the chocolate fountain?
 
2017-03-14 08:56:42 PM  
 
2017-03-14 09:12:54 PM  

edmo: hubiestubert: Sadly, as someone in the industry, and having done a ton of brunch and wedding banquets on a large scale: this is something that people HAVE been asking for...

Can't you just reload the chocolate fountain?


No. From personal experience that's a bad idea, but it sounded like a good idea at the time.
 
2017-03-14 09:44:00 PM  

edmo: hubiestubert: Sadly, as someone in the industry, and having done a ton of brunch and wedding banquets on a large scale: this is something that people HAVE been asking for...

Can't you just reload the chocolate fountain?


Not if you want a working chocolate fountain again...
 
2017-03-14 09:59:57 PM  
Soon to be seen at every Golden Corral in the country.
 
2017-03-14 10:13:18 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2017-03-14 10:27:14 PM  
Eight years ago.

Ranch dressing fountain
Youtube ZjelGzYce6w
 
2017-03-14 10:45:50 PM  
FTFA: "Measuring about 18 inches tall, it's not quite large enough to bathe in, "

a) Not QUITE large enough?

b) Is a ranch dressing bath a version of the Cleopatra milk bath for fat Americans?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-03-14 11:51:46 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size

That's why they sent me, I'm expert.
 
2017-03-15 12:22:01 AM  
I accidentally bought ranch dressing instead of bleu cheese, and didn't realize it until I'd ruined a perfectly good salad. The coolest of stories, bro? I think so.
 
2017-03-15 12:27:29 AM  
frinkiac.comView Full Size
 
2017-03-15 12:28:48 AM  

hubiestubert: edmo: hubiestubert: Sadly, as someone in the industry, and having done a ton of brunch and wedding banquets on a large scale: this is something that people HAVE been asking for...

Can't you just reload the chocolate fountain?

Not if you want a working chocolate fountain again...


I'm suddenly reminded of a cafe here in Chicago that used to scramble their eggs with the steam wand on their espresso machine. No, I never ordered a cappuccino there.
 
2017-03-15 12:29:39 AM  

8 inches: AKA: Peter North.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
amb
2017-03-15 12:29:57 AM  
Obviously, the best fountain of dressing would be blue cheese.
 
2017-03-15 12:30:49 AM  

farkingismybusiness: [img.fark.net image 480x360]
[img.fark.net image 800x410]

[img.fark.net image 600x455]
That's why they sent me, I'm expert.


I thought it was NDT for a second. I need moar coffee.

People don't think the ranch be like it is. But it do.
- Black Dressing Man
 
2017-03-15 12:31:15 AM  
The only way this could be more american is if it had a gun clearing barrel.
 
2017-03-15 12:33:43 AM  

amb: the best fountain of dressing would be blue cheese


There'd probably be a lot of intermittent spurting.

/ nttawwt
 
2017-03-15 12:34:14 AM  
That is disgusting. I weep for people who request this.
 
2017-03-15 12:35:23 AM  
They need to put these at each table at the local all-you-can-eat pizza joint.
 
2017-03-15 12:36:28 AM  

VTGremlin: I accidentally bought ranch dressing instead of bleu cheese, and didn't realize it until I'd ruined a perfectly good salad made my salad exponentially better since bleu cheese tastes like something you'd scrape off a dead dog's arse. The coolest of stories, bro? I think so.


FTFY

/People who like bleu cheese cannot be trusted
//People who like bleu cheese more than ranch are even worse
 
2017-03-15 12:36:52 AM  
What kind of food are you eating when you need that much ranch dressing?

/DNRTFA
//ain't going to
 
2017-03-15 12:40:20 AM  

Krieghund: They need to put these at each table at the local all-you-can-eat pizza joint.


Next to the milk, I would assume.
 
2017-03-15 12:42:52 AM  

farkingismybusiness: That's why they sent me, I'm expert.


img.fark.netView Full Size


fsmedia.imgix.netView Full Size
 
2017-03-15 12:43:56 AM  

hubiestubert: Sadly, as someone in the industry, and having done a ton of brunch and wedding banquets on a large scale: this is something that people HAVE been asking for...


Bleagh.
 
2017-03-15 12:44:10 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-03-15 12:44:56 AM  
Target audience:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-03-15 12:50:15 AM  
I like ranch as much as the next person, but that sounds awful. I think food fountains are gross in general, seem like nothing but germ swimming pools.
 
2017-03-15 12:51:46 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-03-15 12:53:51 AM  

Cpl.D: [img.fark.net image 600x814]
[img.fark.net image 360x193]


Ohh man, there were some serious internet morons coming out of the woodwork when that meme was first started.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/chocolate-bird

I still shudder for humanity to this day.
 
2017-03-15 12:57:33 AM  
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size

Let the low cal flow.
 
2017-03-15 12:58:07 AM  

wildcardjack: Eight years ago.

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZjelGzYce6w - 480x360]


lol it sounds like a small farm engine.
 
2017-03-15 12:58:25 AM  

hubiestubert: edmo: hubiestubert: Sadly, as someone in the industry, and having done a ton of brunch and wedding banquets on a large scale: this is something that people HAVE been asking for...

Can't you just reload the chocolate fountain?

Not if you want a working chocolate fountain again...


Not only that, but doesn't a chocolate fountain heat the chocolate, so that if you put in ranch instead, you'd get ... bath water temperature ranch dressing? Oh, God, that's vile.
 
2017-03-15 12:59:28 AM  
Are Crudites anything like Troglodytes?
Cave men, cave women, Neanderthal, troglodytes.
 
2017-03-15 12:59:34 AM  
How does it keep the dressing cold? It seems like the dressing would get warm as it traveled through the fountain. Maybe the ranch has enough preservatives to keep bacterial growth in check, but I wound't chance it.
 
2017-03-15 01:07:45 AM  

lordargent: Cpl.D: [img.fark.net image 600x814]
[img.fark.net image 360x193]

Ohh man, there were some serious internet morons coming out of the woodwork when that meme was first started.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/chocolate-bird

I still shudder for humanity to this day.


Link is office filter blocked.  Can't read it.  I'm guessing you're saying that people thought that that was real.  It was a skit on TV, wasn't it?  No parrot I've known would tolerate being covered that way.
 
2017-03-15 01:11:32 AM  

Jyoshka: hubiestubert: edmo: hubiestubert: Sadly, as someone in the industry, and having done a ton of brunch and wedding banquets on a large scale: this is something that people HAVE been asking for...

Can't you just reload the chocolate fountain?

Not if you want a working chocolate fountain again...

Not only that, but doesn't a chocolate fountain heat the chocolate, so that if you put in ranch instead, you'd get ... bath water temperature ranch dressing? Oh, God, that's vile.


Like I said...
 
2017-03-15 01:11:36 AM  

wildcardjack: Eight years ago.

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZjelGzYce6w - 480x360]


lovescene from ghost
Youtube emy86D4FK2o
 
2017-03-15 01:13:40 AM  

CoysOdie: Are Crudites anything like Troglodytes?
Cave men, cave women, Neanderthal, troglodytes.


img.fark.netView Full Size

Maybe?
 
2017-03-15 01:20:39 AM  

Whatthefark: How does it keep the dressing cold? It seems like the dressing would get warm as it traveled through the fountain. Maybe the ranch has enough preservatives to keep bacterial growth in check, but I wound't chance it.


Maybe they do the same thing they do with mayo: change the pH. Mayo in the US doesn't have to be refrigerated, potato salad jokes aside.
 
2017-03-15 01:22:05 AM  

MSBFDffpm: CoysOdie: Are Crudites anything like Troglodytes?
Cave men, cave women, Neanderthal, troglodytes.

[img.fark.net image 512x383]
Maybe?


It's the smell that gets you.
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2017-03-15 01:22:27 AM  

Cpl.D: lordargent: Cpl.D: [img.fark.net image 600x814]
[img.fark.net image 360x193]

Ohh man, there were some serious internet morons coming out of the woodwork when that meme was first started.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/chocolate-bird

I still shudder for humanity to this day.

Link is office filter blocked.  Can't read it.  I'm guessing you're saying that people thought that that was real.  It was a skit on TV, wasn't it?  No parrot I've known would tolerate being covered that way.


It was an adam sandler movie.

Someone posted screencaps to Tumblr and someone else went nuclear on people for laughing at animl cruelty.

People responded by quoting her and adjusting the words to fit the subject of other chocolate related images.
 
2017-03-15 01:39:31 AM  

Cpl.D: [img.fark.net image 600x814]
[img.fark.net image 360x193]


Heh....Your cockatoo has mud on it...
 
2017-03-15 01:39:35 AM  
The kebab place where I got my lunch today substituted a farktonne of ranch dressing for the hummus that should have come with my order. This justifies an honor killing of the savage who did this, no?
 
2017-03-15 01:40:10 AM  

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: VTGremlin: I accidentally bought ranch dressing instead of bleu cheese, and didn't realize it until I'd ruined a perfectly good salad made my salad exponentially better since bleu cheese tastes like something you'd scrape off a dead dog's arse. The coolest of stories, bro? I think so.

FTFY

/People who like bleu cheese cannot be trusted
//People who like bleu cheese more than ranch are even worse


WTF is wrong with you?

Blue cheese is delicious.

Ranch is vile.

People who like ranch better than blue cheese have a fundamentally flawed sense of taste, and should be limited to the kids' menu, as they clearly don't deserve good food.

Now run along and dip your McNuggets in ranch, you cretin.
 
2017-03-15 01:44:52 AM  

jekxrb: FTFA: "Measuring about 18 inches tall, it's not quite large enough to bathe in, "

a) Not QUITE large enough?

b) Is a ranch dressing bath a version of the Cleopatra milk bath for fat Americans?

[img.fark.net image 600x400]


I'd dip my carrot into her Hidden Valley.
 
2017-03-15 01:48:47 AM  

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: VTGremlin: I accidentally bought ranch dressing instead of bleu cheese, and didn't realize it until I'd ruined a perfectly good salad made my salad exponentially better since bleu cheese tastes like something you'd scrape off a dead dog's arse. The coolest of stories, bro? I think so.

FTFY

/People who like bleu cheese cannot be trusted
//People who like bleu cheese more than ranch are even worse


 Bleu cheese is the preferred dressing of handsome, intelligent gentlemen like myself. You know who eats ranch? Ugly people trying to get laid at the Bennigan's happy hour.
 
2017-03-15 01:50:04 AM  
Harbinger of the Doomed Rat:
bleu cheese tastes like something you'd scrape off a dead dog's arse.


So at what point in your life did you decide to taste dead dog ass scrapings?
 
2017-03-15 01:57:05 AM  

lordargent: Cpl.D: lordargent: Cpl.D: [img.fark.net image 600x814]
[img.fark.net image 360x193]

Ohh man, there were some serious internet morons coming out of the woodwork when that meme was first started.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/chocolate-bird

I still shudder for humanity to this day.

Link is office filter blocked.  Can't read it.  I'm guessing you're saying that people thought that that was real.  It was a skit on TV, wasn't it?  No parrot I've known would tolerate being covered that way.

It was an adam sandler movie.

Someone posted screencaps to Tumblr and someone else went nuclear on people for laughing at animl cruelty.

People responded by quoting her and adjusting the words to fit the subject of other chocolate related images.


Ah.  That explains it.  I don't do either tumbler nor sandler.
 
Displayed 50 of 83 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report