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(Fark)   Reposted for evening folks - What is one of the best, weirdest, funniest, and/or most unexpected things that's happened to you as a result of reading Fark? Top ten posts will receive one year of TotalFark. DIT   ( fark.com) divider line
    More: Live, unexpected thing, Manny Ramirez, Cascading Style Sheets, Sports Manny Ramirez, Entertainment Bimblytick Rumblethatch, new Japanese contract, private hotel suite, Morphine  
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2264 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2017 at 8:16 PM (30 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



315 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2017-03-14 11:03:31 AM  
A generous TotalFarker has donated ten $50 TF subscriptions to the ten best posts in this discussion thread.  We'll be reposting it throughout the week to see if we can get more folks who don't happen to be reading Fark at certain hours of the day.  The ten best (in our estimation) submissions that don't end up being sponsored by other Farkers will receive a one year subscription to TotalFark starting next week.
 
2017-03-14 11:05:19 AM  
Getting to show off my office to the governor of Kentucky in an alternate universe.
 
2017-03-14 11:05:28 AM  
Vini... vini, vini
 
2017-03-14 11:08:04 AM  
In 2007 I was kind of lamenting not having a job and my impending homelessness in some TFD thread, to no one in particular, and RevBigfoot (who I'd met at a Fark party) reached out to me privately and hooked me up with an interview. I got the job and he got a nice bonus for referring me. Narrowly avoiding homelessness was nice, too.
 
2017-03-14 11:08:12 AM  
I learned that if I ever get my part of my junk stuck in the slats of a chair, there are lots of friendly people that will give me advice on how to get free.
 
2017-03-14 11:10:37 AM  
Reading FARK has made me lose weight, quit smoking, avoid red meat, practice safe sex, sell my cars and walk, help people older than I across the street(damn few), pay my taxes, knit a pink hat and give up porn.

Time to die.
 
2017-03-14 11:11:08 AM  
I got woke, biatch.
 
2017-03-14 11:12:32 AM  
Space Herpes.
 
2017-03-14 11:15:14 AM  
I became a virgin all over again, as if all my previous girlfriends had actually been Canadian this whole time.
 
2017-03-14 11:19:08 AM  
Years and years ago, I became friendly on here with a fellow Londoner, and we arranged a small London fark party. When we met irl, it turns out I actually knew this guy, I'd gone to university with him.
 
2017-03-14 11:19:38 AM  
Some nice BIE ...it was quite unexpected.
 
2017-03-14 11:19:55 AM  
I will forever remember the sentence "Witnesses reported hearing the victim state 'oh snap, she stabbed me' ".
 
2017-03-14 11:20:01 AM  
WAYYYYY back in late 2001, Fark helped me get laid.

I was in a discussion about some random thing here, and a woman mentioned that she was also living in Fargo.  I asked for her email, we set up a date, and she gave it up on the first date...classy lady. ;)
 
2017-03-14 11:20:09 AM  
I reconnected with an old friend with whom i traded music in the early heady days of ftps and file sharing.  I should probably mention this friend should CHECK HIS FLIPPIN GMAIL.
 
2017-03-14 11:20:36 AM  
I've learned the proper way to send off aging Canadian relatives
Being Canadian myself, I did not know this!  Thank you Fark for enlightening me
 
2017-03-14 11:22:05 AM  
Told my wife about HOTY that had the guy who won the lottery, wife killed in accident and still had one wish left.
i laughed
she didnt
i laughed more
divorced 1 month later.
 
2017-03-14 11:23:10 AM  
After reading FARK, I went out and married Morgan Fairchild.
 
2017-03-14 11:23:28 AM  

OmenAngel: I've learned the proper way to send off aging Canadian relatives
Being Canadian myself, I did not know this!  Thank you Fark for enlightening me


Feed them to the polar bears?
 
2017-03-14 11:24:01 AM  
I'm not sure if this is considered unexpected, but it was for me.  Back in 2010 I started vaping as a means to try and quit smoking.  It worked brilliantly at first, but eventually, it was starting to give me problems in late 2010, causing me to eventually have to stop and go back to smoking.  Around April or May of 2011, I came across a thread on E-cigarettes on Fark -- rare for the time since they were still a pretty new thing back then.  At any rate, I read through the thread and happened to come across a post by another Farker who had had the same issues I was having -- and it turned out the problem was cheap Chinese E-liquid that probably contained some small amount of DEG (diethylene glycol -- the toxic kind of antifreeze, and a potential contaminant in the manufacture of propylene glycol, the non-toxic sort).  I had originally chalked it up to maybe I couldn't vape, but as it happened I had switched to buying cheap Chinese juice myself just to try and minimize my costs.

That weekend I went to a reputable vendor that manufactured their own E-liquid (shout-out to Vaperite), bought some, plus a new battery and atomizer, and started vaping again.  Turned out, everything was cool now, and I never went back to smoking.  (I did have to drop my nic level eventually, but that's another matter.)

So I kinda credit a Farker for indirectly getting me off smoking once and for all.
 
2017-03-14 11:24:24 AM  
It's counter intuitive, I know, but FARK has kept me from drinking too much.
 
2017-03-14 11:24:25 AM  
I never use Totalfark, and yet people keep gifting it to me as if it's some sort of a prize.  Initially I found it annoying, because I'd click the top left TF link out of habit and find myself navigating through piles of trash stories.  Now, I'm starting to get paranoid that people are punishing me by gifting me with TF.
 
2017-03-14 11:24:34 AM  

Tarl3k: WAYYYYY back in late 2001, Fark helped me get laid.

I was in a discussion about some random thing here, and a woman mentioned that she was also living in Fargo.  I asked for her email, we set up a date, and she gave it up on the first date...classy lady. ;)


What else is there to do in Fargo?
 
2017-03-14 11:25:58 AM  
I discovered that it is not socially acceptable to tell people to die in a fire.  In real life people take offense to that.
 
2017-03-14 11:27:30 AM  
Best? Start here, then go back to the beginning of the thread.

TL:DR: A FARK Hockey Gredunza that embodied the camaraderie of FARK.
 
2017-03-14 11:28:01 AM  

Iowan73: Tarl3k: WAYYYYY back in late 2001, Fark helped me get laid.

I was in a discussion about some random thing here, and a woman mentioned that she was also living in Fargo.  I asked for her email, we set up a date, and she gave it up on the first date...classy lady. ;)

What else is there to do in Fargo?


Put your accomplice in the woodchipper?

/got nothin
//made it into the newsletter a while back
 
2017-03-14 11:28:20 AM  
I was informed of the plight of struggling extreme right wing and Russian "news" companies and how they make ends meet from the revenue gained from page clicks. Needless to say I am not sympathetic enough to give them the page clicks they desperately need but maybe someday...
 
2017-03-14 11:28:23 AM  
I became a Christian after reading the rational and logical arguments of Bevets.
 
2017-03-14 11:28:40 AM  

daRog: I learned that if I ever get my part of my junk stuck in the slats of a chair, there are lots of friendly people that will give me advice on how to get free.


I learned how to tell a UFO from a streetlight, that Nixon was tossed rather than resigning, that the Marine Core has the best soldiers, and the pricipal caught sayof stoped handstandsing.
 
2017-03-14 11:30:53 AM  
As a direct result of reading Fark lo these many years, I have officially converted to Discordianism.

I only wish someone would have warned me about the induction ritual.
 
2017-03-14 11:31:33 AM  
I found myself knowing what Tub Girl, Two Girls One Cup and a Lemon Party was.

I am an middle aged, uptight, boring, suburban, minivan driving mom. Well, used to be. I am really damaged now.

Thank you Fark.
 
2017-03-14 11:32:24 AM  
I became a liberal.  Thanks, guys!
 
2017-03-14 11:33:00 AM  
I learned how to tell if my cat's butthole actually touches the counter top when it's up there.
 
2017-03-14 11:34:39 AM  
Fark was one of the first sites that ever caused me to install an ad blocker.
 
2017-03-14 11:34:44 AM  
Wondering what color lipstick looks next on a cat's butt.

For science, y'know.
 
2017-03-14 11:35:53 AM  
What is one of the best, weirdest, funniest, and/or most unexpected thing that's happened to you as a result of reading Fark?

i laughed at a headline.  always heavily cliched, trying to be overly clever or just plain copying the article itself
 
2017-03-14 11:36:11 AM  
Best and most unexpected: I met my wife in TFD. We lived on opposite coasts and really never would have met otherwise. Our son just turned 1. He's an entire person that wouldn't exist if Fark didn't.

/Fark has also been a great place to drink and talk with folks and wake up in the morning and realize you bought someone a five pound bag of macaroni and cheese powder because reasons but that's neither here nor there
 
2017-03-14 11:37:09 AM  
I credit Fark with turning me on to the works of the late Sir Terry Pratchett.
 
2017-03-14 11:37:12 AM  

Mztlplx: Wondering what color lipstick looks next on a cat's butt.

For science, y'know.


Fark you, automistake.

next -> best
 
2017-03-14 11:38:19 AM  
Went to a Fark party in Toronto. Met Drew and some other Farkers. My only IRL contact with anyone on Fark.
 
2017-03-14 11:39:13 AM  
Meeting my Hime in the NASFARK threads.

I don't know what I said that attracted her, but I'm glad I said it.

/Aishiateru, Hime-sama
 
2017-03-14 11:39:29 AM  
Many, many years ago, under a different username, Fark was the website that helped me transition from 4chan back to the "regular" internet.
 
2017-03-14 11:39:55 AM  
Thanks to Fark, and TFD in particular, I met my best friend and now I'm looking to move so we can be closer to each other and end the LD part of our relationship.
 
2017-03-14 11:40:15 AM  
As a result of reading Fark?  Two 'best things' come to mind:

1.  A particular highlight was Wrestlemania 30, in New Orleans.  Between social media and some epic Fark threads, I was able to share the live WM experience with my fellow Fark 'smarks' in the FWC, and give them a bit of a tour around my hometown at the same time.  It was a wonderful experience that I was proud t share with the group - and one that I'd never have even thought about going to were I not on Fark.

2.  Back in 2012, Paul Ryan staged a photo-op at a Ohio soup kitchen. His team showed up when they were already closed, all but barged in, and staged a obviously fake scene of him "washing" pans that were already clean.  When news broke that the soup kitchen had initially refused the visit, as they are apolitical, the kitchen was hit with vile phone calls and threats of a donation boycott.

In the Fark thread on this, Queezyweasel said, 'I wish we could donate to help them out'.  I seconded that idea, and before I knew it, Cyclometh and others had setup a fundraiser and were hard at work spreading the word.  A couple of weeks - and even a bit of national press - later, and we Farkers had raised over $15K for that soup kitchen.

The funds were delivered, and the kitchen couldn't have been happier - well, except for the hungry families who benefited from Farkers' generosity of course.  Made me even prouder to say that I'm a Farker.
 
2017-03-14 11:41:04 AM  
As a result of my interactions on Fark over the years I have become an expert at trolling family members in email exchanges.
 
2017-03-14 11:42:32 AM  
I read Fark every day and all I ever got was a Hot Cocoa Sampler Box.

/I lied about reading Fark every day
//and the Hot Cocoa Sampler Box
 
2017-03-14 11:43:16 AM  
The best - I've (virtually) "met" hundreds of people who have exposed me to a wider world, and helped me grow as a person. There are too many to list out here, but thank you, farkers. Even the ones I'm ... not as in tune with. I've learned a lot in the past 11 years (9 as a registered user, 2 as a lurker).

/Sometimes, it needs to be said.
 
2017-03-14 11:43:56 AM  
Fark has kept me from ever wanting to vacation in Florida.
 
2017-03-14 11:44:07 AM  
Fark turned me into a newt. ... I got better.
 
2017-03-14 11:44:16 AM  
I now have the original of that.
 
2017-03-14 11:45:10 AM  
In 2009 I had to travel from Green Bay, WI where i lived with my wife and son to Charlottesville, VA to get radiation treatment for a brain tumor. Of course we are at the in-laws house in Delaware and 2 days before we get ready to drive down to VA a nor'easter hits down there. The power of a FARK thread got me in touch with multiple people who lived down that way who gave me far better road condition updates than I could find online including a nurse at UVA hospital. My wife and I left far earlier than we planned and got there and back with less stress than if we had followed the google map timeframe.

I know its not funny like lipstick on a cat butthole...
 
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