turkeys is practically chickens

Do I smell a sequal to "The Punisher"?

I gave him a good home

/rubs stomach

Mother Nature put out the hit.

Very amusing, but how does he propose to find and identify that one particular bird?

I don't know with whom I sympathize more, the man whose car was beaten up or the turkey who was just trying to protect his environment from the pollution caused by the oversized excuse for a "car."

/not really flamebait, I promise

Some would laugh at the thought of a 'vicious turkey'...me and my buddy got chased by a big tom turkey once that I swear must've been a reincarnated rottweiler.

Mean. ass. bird.

Hey, I was drunk and saw a Ford suv. I drive a Dodge; I had to do it.

Pictures of the damages?

... Anyway, about my washtub. Id just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as... a walking bird. We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball"...
-Honest Abe Simpson

and those bastards still haven't apologized for what they did to the armenians...

i thought the headline was talking about the country there for a second

/whistle goes whoooooo!

I wonder if it double-gobbled.

/obscure

Was it the 86 proof or 101 bird?

/Hunter S Thompson

i wish that dude would get shot by a fellow redneck hunter douchebag.

No wonder they call it a turkey.
Next thing you know, somebody's car will get trashed by an ass.

Trashed by a turkey? Yeah, that's some tough SUV!

Turkey, as in the country that makes Cola Turka?



Dig hard and you may find Chevy Chase commercials.

Yes, too much turkey will trash a man's SUV:

Musta been "gobbles" on another rant. I hear Timmy's on the lookout for him.

It ain't no poodle or pony

Just a little ole Wild Turkey

fark turkeys. i'm still waiting for pigeon season. i hate those freaking things

Cola Turka is highly unappetizing. Like most of Chevy Chase's recent films.

"It's no use Mr. Obvious, he's still too tough."

sounds worse than a pissed off girlfriend :)

"When I came out, he had his claws on my gas cap,"

Turkeys got claws ? ?


Holy Freddy Kruger.

/Has nightmare

Help a girl out. I know this is off subject, but for 2 weeks I have been trying to join total fark, however the pay pal website comes up as an error. Is there a way around this? Mods? I want to give up some money, yo.
contact at m­yhu­g­efl­o­c­k­ooha­y­com

the jerk was probably hunting before the season starts next week anyways, then after the damage told police he was *scouting* out the area.

Serves him right. You can't take the animals, then don't fk with the animals

*Insert Arthur "Big Guy" Carlson joke here*

Finally a good excuse to go turkey hunting.

Turkey damages SUV, man kills turkey, turkey's relatives damage man's SUV even more....

WHEN WILL THIS INSANE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE END?!!!

"When I came out, he had his claws on my gas cap,"

Turkeys got claws ? ?

Yes, most birds do, in fact, have claws. Also called talons.

damnit...

Those SUVs sure do gobble up gas...

/flamebait AND a bad pun... beat that.

//and it's in the right thread.

xtimx

"
i wish that dude would get shot by a fellow redneck hunter douchebag.
"

Because lord knows you're going to hell if you kill an innocent animal. Hope you're a vegan xtimx, hope you dont use any leather products, or any animal products period for that matter. If you do you're a hypocrite, and the animals that provided you with those products probably lived a much worse life than a turkey living out in the wild does. At least he has a fighting chance in the wild. Most hunters care about the environment, and probably do more for it than arm-chair environmentalists that never leave their condos. Furthermore controlled hunting benefits the animals that remain.

Texas tag?

Damn that Turkey...

actually ElBarto79 i am a vegan. thanks for trying to point out my hypocrisy. game over.
the reason the hunters have to control the population of wild animals is because there are too many damn people on this planet and animals habitats have been overrun.
humanity is a farking disease.

Go Hokies!

xtimx

As much as you'd like for that to be true, I know for a fact (in regards to at least this one species) that the current population of deer in the US is higher today than when the Pilgrims arrived. So they are actually at a population density where hunting is advantageous.

0lorin

What you say is probably true, but the fact is that the deer population was controlled by wolves when the Pilgrims arrived. When the Pilgrims came to this continent, they were afraid of wolves and so drove 'em out to Canada.

BTW I despise deer, stupid stunted and ugly horses.

Gonna break in my anti-bambi lover sheild. :)

xtimx, you should read Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. Humanity isn't a diease, it's our culture.

About five or so years ago, a local yokel in my burg was shot and critically injured by a turkey. He shot the turkey and put it in the trunk with his shotgun. He heard a noise in his trunk on the way home and stopped to check it out. When he opened the trunk he saw that the turkey was thrashing about wildly. He wrassled with it for a few seconds until the turkeys foot caught the trigger and blasted him in the chest with a searing hot load of buckshot. The guy was in critical for a few days but eventually pulled through. No word on the status of the turkey, however.

xtimx-
As refreshing as it is to see someone form his world view from Agent Smith's monologue in The Matrix (i.e. the human race being a disease), the extermination of the human race, i mean, disease, is like the weather, everybody talks about it, but nobody does anything about it. Good luck, little trooper!

"When I came out, he had his claws on my gas cap"

With gas prices as high as they are, I'm not surprised. Shoot the thieving bastard.

Damn turkey put a dent in my 65 Impala SS...Of course it was the nose of my large car and truth be told... the Impala DID win... Where is the fricken gravy?

As long as the turkey is in the back seat at the time of the incident, you should be covered by farmer's insurance.

Since Maine has a lottery for Turkey permits (which was well since been decided prior to this story), I find the part of the story about him going and getting a license quite a farse.