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(Salt Lake Tribune)   What would Buffy do? LDS leader compares young Mormans to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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7550 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2004 at 9:00 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

282 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-05-08 02:57:46 PM  
Get a brain! Mormans.
2004-05-08 04:03:20 PM  
Joseph Smith
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

/obligatory South Park reference

2004-05-08 05:19:05 PM  
No, Mormons are not the least bit crazy, and they have perfectly rational beliefs - in fact their religion is completely sane and the people who follow are not the least bit mentally unbalanced.

Whoa. That was hard to say.
2004-05-08 05:55:20 PM  
Joe Young: They want me to do a sequel.
Lisa: A sequel, to "Death of a Salesman"? Doesn't he die at the end of the first?
Joe Young: Yes, but he has a twin brother, and he wants revenge.
Lisa: Revenge? But, doesn't he kill himself?
Joe Young: No, no, that's what you were led to believe. He was killed by the C.I.A for selling smack... to Nazis...
Lisa: Wow!

Thanks IMDB
2004-05-08 09:03:08 PM  
It's spelled "Morons", poster.
2004-05-08 09:03:38 PM  
What did Timothy Leary say?
2004-05-08 09:04:41 PM  
Joe Young: Gosh darn it Ben! I'm not a superhero! I'm a Latter-Day Saint!
2004-05-08 09:06:08 PM  
Joe Young: I am a bad, bad Mormon!
2004-05-08 09:06:36 PM  
He must have done too much LDS in the 60s.
2004-05-08 09:07:23 PM  
Just to, you know, break the Orgazmo refs.
2004-05-08 09:08:26 PM  
one banana, two banana, three banana, fark
2004-05-08 09:08:55 PM  
Well, the mormons are renowned vampire hunters...

oh, wait, no they're not...

... waiting for the anti-mormon links to start rolling in...

Personally, I can't take anyone seriously if their religion has special underpants. or spaceships. (yeah, that last one was Scientology, don't want to look like I'm just picking on one group)
2004-05-08 09:09:18 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
These Mormons?

2004-05-08 09:09:23 PM  
In spite of that Gellar chick's hotness, I've never been able to bring my self to watch more than ten minutes of that show.
2004-05-08 09:11:00 PM  
sherman uber alles:

Err... apologies to Mormons on Fark, and my Mormon ex, but they do believe that God lives on the planet Kolob. Close enough to spaceships for me.
2004-05-08 09:11:39 PM  
being an atheist, i'm sure joss whedon would totally agree with this point of view.

/must i say sarcasm
2004-05-08 09:13:30 PM  
If the girls were as hot as the cast of Buffy, I'd already be on my way to Utah.
2004-05-08 09:16:24 PM  

then you might want to take a window shopping trip to SLC. mormon chicks on average are hotties. its like the catholic school girl thing, but all over town.
2004-05-08 09:18:29 PM  
He took a little bit too much LDS back at Berkley.
2004-05-08 09:19:19 PM  
Oh man. I googled Mormon Vampire, and I got this. It's worthy of it's own submission, but it fits this one perfectly.
2004-05-08 09:20:25 PM  

The aforementioned Mormon ex of mine had some psychological / authority issues to work out, (Hell, she was 15 at the time, no blame on her, really) but she was really, really hot, in the girl-next-door sort of way.
2004-05-08 09:21:07 PM  
Willow is going to burn in hell for sure. Lesbian, jewish, witchcraft...she's SO screwed.
2004-05-08 09:21:30 PM  
You are right on the hot thing. That is why I married my Morman wife.
2004-05-08 09:24:28 PM  
Your wife was 15? What? Her family was on a mission to Alabama?
2004-05-08 09:25:32 PM  
Wait, just Ex. Not ex-wife. Ignore me now.
2004-05-08 09:27:13 PM  

well, i made no claims as to sanity...we are talking about women here.

hell, if i can make this a 'farkettes flame heap' thread instead of the typical 'point and laugh at the mormons' thread, why the hell not
2004-05-08 09:27:23 PM  

Hehe, no harm done except to fragile Alabamans. I was 16 at the time.
2004-05-08 09:29:36 PM  
I'm Mormon, and a huge Buffy fan. The two do not really mix. Buffy and friends frequently sleep around and battle evil while using magic. I guess if you try to draw the parallel, you could say we fight against evil causes, but we're supposed to do it while being good ourselves.

Ya, I guess you can make some parallels, but same goes for other films like Star Wars, Matrix, etc. Basically any film that has a good vs. evil theme always seems to have religious people say "Look at the parallels, that's just like Christianity!"

I think this particular Utah fan of Buffy took it a little too far.
2004-05-08 09:30:20 PM  
Mormon chicks are awesome. Kinda hard for the average farker to reach their level, though, with the self-respect and sincere belief in God and all. Good for them.

Incidentally, I can't find anything on this Kuykendall guy. He's never been in any of the LDS Church's official publications, for instance. Ripping a shirt off to show your allegiance to Buffy doesn't exactly smack of official authority as far as Mormondom goes.
2004-05-08 09:35:28 PM  
so is this guy a church leader, or just one of those nuts they bring into pep of the youth of the church?
2004-05-08 09:36:25 PM  
Yeah... mormon chicks rule. That's why you get to marry so many of them...
2004-05-08 09:36:27 PM  

I see where you're coming from with the stuff about Mormon girls and the value of their morals. (Modest chicks can be very attractive in their own right; more so by my estimation.)

However, about self-respect, I'm not so sure about agreeing with that. True, lots of them do have enough of it, but I know from experience that many others have issues with it, especially due to the Church's antiquated views on women. Antidepressant use is disproportionately high in some Mormon areas of America.
2004-05-08 09:36:40 PM  
Sadly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer has a more believable plot.
2004-05-08 09:36:47 PM  
You mean young Mormans are Jewish too?
2004-05-08 09:39:35 PM  
What a coincidence!I just came in from walking my dog. ANd there's a Moromon church (a stake) in my neighborhood. We walked by and I noticed that there was a youth dance/vampire slaying festival going on.

And DAMN them Mormon girls are fine!
2004-05-08 09:41:32 PM  
Antiquated? Well... I'm afraid I do have to agree with you to an extent on that one. ("Traditional" sounds better, though.) I personally think that it has more to do with the parents than the church itself in most issues of antiquated perspectives - there are, undeniably, a lot of crazies on the outskirts of the LDS church. The mainstream is pretty sane and balanced, though.
2004-05-08 09:44:03 PM  
The analogy is perfect -- Buffy is nothing more than a fantasy story and so is the Bible and the Book of Mormon. Why the surprise?
2004-05-08 09:44:32 PM  
Did someone say LSD Leader?

[image from too old to be available]
2004-05-08 09:44:50 PM  
Do the special magical undies get all sweaty and gross?
2004-05-08 09:46:37 PM  
Hahaha thanks for the link

Count Dracula
The archetypal vampire lord immortalized by Bram Stoker's novel may be history's most famous vampire. But was he Mormon? Well, Church genealogical records prove conclusively that Dracula was not born Mormon. Although it is likely that missionaries tracted out his castle, and he may have taken the discussions, there is no evidence that Dracula ever joined the Church. This is not surprising, as he had a nasty addiction to tea.

I know that they try to convert the dead, just didn't know they tried to convert the undead.
2004-05-08 09:46:40 PM  
Eh, you can be non-mormon and still be self-respecting as a woman.

In fact, you can probably be more self-respecting seeing as you won't be ingrained to think that your only mission in life is to bear farkloads of kids, be subservient to your husband, and look pretty.
2004-05-08 09:49:42 PM  
"there are, undeniably, a lot of crazies on the outskirts of the LDS church. The mainstream is pretty sane and balanced, though."

If they believe the Bible and the Book of Mormon they believe in talking bushes and snakes, magical healing, the whole "golden plates" thing, a completely insane archaeology for North America and resurrection of the dead. Which one of those ideas would be the "sane" one? It's just amazing that people routinely ignore just how kooky even "mainstream" Christianity really is.
2004-05-08 09:50:23 PM  
Religion bashing on! Man that is crazy, next thing ya know there will be a Boobie thread with people saying that the chick was actually a man!
2004-05-08 09:50:50 PM  
Seeing how most "Morman" arguments have little basis in actual beliefs, I post this argument:

[image from too old to be available]

The actor who plays Faith on Buffy is Mormon.

/Not really an argument, but it will definitely get attention.
2004-05-08 09:53:53 PM  

Christianity may have its idiosyncracies, but there is a time, place, and style for proper criticism, and you are adhering to none. Not every thread needs its "infinity" counter.
2004-05-08 09:53:57 PM  
::sighs:: I'm not even going to try to fight this flamewar, but...

Pearly, LDS doctrine teaches that a woman's mission in life is to become the best person she possibly can. Family is important, because we believe families can be eternal. But we're not so provincial that we think that raisin' babies is all there is to life. Every woman should receive as much education as possible, for instance.

Women should not be subservient to their husbands: men and women are different (well, duh) but equal in intelligence and authority. A man that treats his wife subserviently can be disciplined rather severely by the Church.
2004-05-08 09:55:59 PM  
Baptists are the worst.
Mormons have money.
Baptists are white trash Oklahomans.

Oh, and I love Christian Snuff Films. Thanks Mel Gibson for the Passion! The best Jebus snuff film ever existed.
2004-05-08 09:56:39 PM  


Wait, what?...

What is all this?

"At first I thought, 'I can't watch any TV show with a name like Buffy the Vampire Slayer,' " Riess said this week. "Then I started to notice that the dialogue was really clever, with all sorts of allusions to classical literature, Shakespeare and Greek myths in a richly layered text. I was hooked."

Err, all "magic" themed shows rip off and bastardize "old" stuff, because "old" stuff is always "magical". Disney's Gargoyles was a very cool "rip-off" of classic Shakespeare, but it's not a religion!...

The characters explore notions about sin and forgiveness, friendship and failure, redemption and self-worth -- lightened up by puns and sarcasm and playfulness. And that's spiritual, too.

You can say that about G.I. Joe, or Attack of the Killer tomatoes. This kind of stuff is in every storyline these days.

Buddhism begins with the idea that all life is suffering, she says, while Buffy puts it in 21st century vernacular: "Life sucks."

I mean... really, what the hell?

Honestly... what the hell?

Why must everything have a hidden meaning, or a special parallel? This is what I hate about people who like something a bit too much. They can never let anything be just what it is. If they like it, they make up reasons as to why they like it, even if that symbolism isn't there. What's more, after people read hacks like that ranting about the symbolism of something, they jam forced symbolism into their own stories (which makes them god-awful). Fake symbolism is the worst thing you can shove into a story, because it bleeds right through, like a dead hooker wrapped in a white bedspread.

If someone writes a short story about a puppy that likes playing with an empty can, sometimes it's just a story about a puppy playing with an empty can! It's not a mirror for the lost childhood of the author, it's not satire on the empty promise of material possessions, and it is not a modern version of MacBeth. It's just a puppy playing with a can!

The Morman guy I don't mind. Using pop culture to relate to the younger generation comes out horribly corny, and does not work too well, but at least it's memorable. Kids cringe when Poochy skateboards onto the stage and tells them not to smoke, but at least it's amusing. Writing a book about it just crosses a line, though...

I really need to find a better place to vent...
2004-05-08 09:57:08 PM  
Koowan66, it's a major fallacy that Mormons think that all Native Americans are actually Jews. The Book of Mormon tells of a small group in an isolated area whose population never rose above about three million. Before the Spanish introduced plagues that killed 90% of the native population, there were about 300 million Native Americans. The argument is not insane, and the evidence is there. I believe it and am not an idiot, you don't have to believe it and still be a good person, it's as simple as that.
2004-05-08 09:58:32 PM  
Red Space Dragon:

You're right. Summing up the Buddhist thought as "life sucks" is sort of missing the whole point of the other 99.9% of the lifestyle
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