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(Newsday)   Murder suspect says blood in his apartment result of him tripping while reaching for an envelope   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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4053 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2004 at 3:48 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

23 Comments     (+0 »)
2004-05-06 12:06:16 PM  
13 years old? Set the chair to extra-crispy.
wil [TotalFark]
2004-05-06 12:17:05 PM  
This defense was cooler when OJ used it.
2004-05-06 02:25:32 PM  
theres nothing funny about boning retarded kids.

2004-05-06 03:53:21 PM  
Yeah, and the peanut butter jar got stuck up my ass when I was bathing my dog in the shower and I slipped.

2004-05-06 03:54:44 PM  
Innocent until proven guilty, unless it's a man allegedly perpetrating a crime on a women, in which case he's always guilty, unless he's the President.
2004-05-06 03:55:50 PM  
...but how much would it suck if that actually happened?
2004-05-06 03:56:34 PM  
A career criminal with 12 prior arrests, he is being held without bail.
He will be out and on the prowl again. Someone will still believe he can be rehabilitated. Farking a-holes

/glue his nuts to the floor, light the room on fire and give him a rusty razor blade.
2004-05-06 03:56:34 PM  
"Million to one shot doc. Million to one"

[/fusilli Jerry in anus]
2004-05-06 03:59:33 PM  
I think he needs to be deposited into the general population of whatever prison is convenient. A brief announcement over the prison PA system describing the reason for his incarceration should solve the problem in short order.
2004-05-06 04:03:23 PM  
matto22 - Some of us 'lefties' think that he can be re-educated. Less 'prisoner rights' and more beatings with the butt of an AK would sort him out after a decade or two.
2004-05-06 04:05:39 PM  
Big ups for the lefties!.. yippie
2004-05-06 04:07:22 PM  
How the fark do you slip when reaching for an envelope? I do it every day and have yet to fall, and for that matter bleed on my carpet.
2004-05-06 04:08:03 PM  
It's possible.

I knew this guy that had caught rabies by making Hamburger Helper.

2004-05-06 04:16:21 PM  
"Yesterday, Ramirez was charged with attempted murder, kidnapping, attempted rape, sexual abuse and assault in the attack, which left the victim unconscious at times."

2004-05-06 04:16:58 PM  
An envelope filled with glass shards and razor blades?
2004-05-06 04:26:13 PM  
i believe him
2004-05-06 04:42:17 PM  
OJ surrenders!
2004-05-06 05:08:24 PM  
Sorry - even I think that's pretty weak.
2004-05-06 05:14:04 PM  
2004-05-06 05:24:38 PM  

That image of a guy with a razor blade is not something I am going to forget easily. My nuts just hurt thinking about it.

Hell, lets have that as the death penalty. You had better believe that would drop the male crime population seriously.
2004-05-06 05:54:27 PM  
Whoa guy, I'm tripping soooo hard...

where are my farking envelopes?!?! AHHHH

2004-05-06 06:20:11 PM  
Did anyone catch the most f'ed up part about this article?

"The Bellevue assault was the first in a series of recent sexual attacks on patients in the city's hospitals, some by DOCTORS." (emphasis mine)

WT mother F?
2004-05-06 07:38:25 PM  
"/glue his nuts to the floor, light the room on fire and give him a rusty razor blade."

If there was voting, you would win.
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