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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)   The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice will convince a naked man to break into your house searching for sesame seeds for his hamburger bun   (tampabay.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, Burglary, Prescription drug, arrest report, unknown drugs, LARGO A Largo, st. petersburg, Martin R. Henderson, Zachary T. Sampson  
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2092 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2017 at 3:38 PM (5 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
5 days ago  
drugs made him see people rising from the ground and in trees

But..., those weren't the drugs, that was regular tobacco.  !zombie apocalypse!!! with tree zombies!!!
 
5 days ago  
No, he's doing it wrong - you put the spice on the burger. I prefer Creole seasoning myself.
 
5 days ago  
He faces charges of burglary and possession of burglary tools.

A butter knife is now a burglary tool?  I thought a lock picking kit would be a burglary tool... not a kitchen utensil.
 
5 days ago  
We have just folded space from Florida.  Many weirdos in Florida.  New weirdos.
 
5 days ago  
i0.wp.com

Cleo McDowell: Look... me and the McDonald's people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're McDonald's... I'm McDowell's. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.
 
5 days ago  

fly_gal: He faces charges of burglary and possession of burglary tools.

A butter knife is now a burglary tool?  I thought a lock picking kit would be a burglary tool... not a kitchen utensil.


I was thinking this. So under this reasoning anyone with a butterknife can be arrested?
 
5 days ago  
I feel compelled to post in this thread.


\yes, I know it's spelled wrong.
 
5 days ago  
Can you show me where you keep you sesame seeds?

/Brought to you by one, haha, two, haha cold testicles.
//And a cock swinging in a subtropical breeze.
 
5 days ago  
That's salt that does that last one.  Technically it's not a spice.  Common misconception.

/"Bath salts" specifically.
 
5 days ago  
I bet he didn't have sesame seed glue, though.
 
5 days ago  
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net

If he came looking for them, I'd just give him the sesame seeds.
 
5 days ago  
He who can destroy sesame seeds controls sesame seeds.
 
5 days ago  
ci.memecdn.com
 
5 days ago  
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
5 days ago  
I think they could take sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care. I can't imagine 5 years from now, saying "Damn, remember sesame seeds? What happened? All the buns are blank! They're gonna have to change that McDonald's song: 'Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a... Bun.' How's a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's farkin' magical! There's got to be some sesame seed glue out there! Either that, or they're adhesive on one side. "Take the sesame seed out, remove the backing, place it on the bun. Now your bun will look spectacular." What does a sesame seed grow into? I don't know, we never gave them a chance! What the fark is a sesame? It's a street... It's a way to open shiat!
 
5 days ago  

rnatalie: I think they could take sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care. I can't imagine 5 years from now, saying "Damn, remember sesame seeds? What happened? All the buns are blank! They're gonna have to change that McDonald's song: 'Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a... Bun.' How's a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's farkin' magical! There's got to be some sesame seed glue out there! Either that, or they're adhesive on one side. "Take the sesame seed out, remove the backing, place it on the bun. Now your bun will look spectacular." What does a sesame seed grow into? I don't know, we never gave them a chance! What the fark is a sesame? It's a street... It's a way to open shiat!


Melted butter on the tops and sprinkle with sesame seeds.  Voila.
 
5 days ago  

Destructor: [vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net image 119x151]


img.fark.net

img.fark.net
 
5 days ago  
img.fark.net

The spice must flow.
 
5 days ago  

MyMindIsGoingDave: [ci.memecdn.com image 599x465]


/came this.
// leaving t find the lisan al gaib.
///  Muad'dib!
 
5 days ago  

Maud Dib: I feel compelled to post in this thread.


\yes, I know it's spelled wrong.


Just git yer hand into the damn box so we can all get out of here. :)
 
5 days ago  
If good old fashioned cannabis were legal Florida man would spend his time glued to the TV eating Cheetos instead of finding dumb and dumberer ways to get arrested. We wouldn't want that now would we?
 
5 days ago  

fragMasterFlash: If good old fashioned cannabis were legal Florida man would spend his time glued to the TV eating Cheetos instead of finding dumb and dumberer ways to get arrested. We wouldn't want that now would we?


We are getting medical marijuana.......baby steps.
 
5 days ago  
"Synthetic marijuana?"

That is the biggest crock of shiate since Reefer Madness.
 
5 days ago  

FrancoFile: We have just folded space from Florida.  Many weirdos in Florida.  New weirdos.


Better than those on Richese.
 
5 days ago  

fly_gal: He faces charges of burglary and possession of burglary tools.

A butter knife is now a burglary tool?  I thought a lock picking kit would be a burglary tool... not a kitchen utensil.


It will probably be dropped, they're just throwing the book at him.  They can make anything a burglary tool.
 
5 days ago  
img01.deviantart.net
 
5 days ago  
i.imgur.com
 
5 days ago  
upload.wikimedia.org

Spice spice baby
 
5 days ago  
Good work, subby.
 
5 days ago  
Did two obese Patti's make him do it?
 
5 days ago  
 
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