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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)   The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice will convince a naked man to break into your house searching for sesame seeds for his hamburger bun   ( tampabay.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Burglary, Prescription drug, arrest report, unknown drugs, LARGO A Largo, st. petersburg, Martin R. Henderson, Zachary T. Sampson  
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2318 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2017 at 3:38 PM (36 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-01-11 11:05:41 AM  
drugs made him see people rising from the ground and in trees

But..., those weren't the drugs, that was regular tobacco.  !zombie apocalypse!!! with tree zombies!!!
 
2017-01-11 12:09:48 PM  
No, he's doing it wrong - you put the spice on the burger. I prefer Creole seasoning myself.
 
2017-01-11 01:21:03 PM  
He faces charges of burglary and possession of burglary tools.

A butter knife is now a burglary tool?  I thought a lock picking kit would be a burglary tool... not a kitchen utensil.
 
2017-01-11 02:30:08 PM  
We have just folded space from Florida.  Many weirdos in Florida.  New weirdos.
 
2017-01-11 02:49:34 PM  
i0.wp.com

Cleo McDowell: Look... me and the McDonald's people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're McDonald's... I'm McDowell's. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.
 
2017-01-11 03:44:43 PM  

fly_gal: He faces charges of burglary and possession of burglary tools.

A butter knife is now a burglary tool?  I thought a lock picking kit would be a burglary tool... not a kitchen utensil.


I was thinking this. So under this reasoning anyone with a butterknife can be arrested?
 
2017-01-11 03:45:07 PM  
I feel compelled to post in this thread.


\yes, I know it's spelled wrong.
 
2017-01-11 03:51:58 PM  
Can you show me where you keep you sesame seeds?

/Brought to you by one, haha, two, haha cold testicles.
//And a cock swinging in a subtropical breeze.
 
2017-01-11 03:52:51 PM  
That's salt that does that last one.  Technically it's not a spice.  Common misconception.

/"Bath salts" specifically.
 
2017-01-11 03:54:10 PM  
I bet he didn't have sesame seed glue, though.
 
2017-01-11 03:56:17 PM  
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net

If he came looking for them, I'd just give him the sesame seeds.
 
2017-01-11 03:57:05 PM  
He who can destroy sesame seeds controls sesame seeds.
 
2017-01-11 03:59:53 PM  
ci.memecdn.com
 
2017-01-11 04:01:50 PM  
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2017-01-11 04:04:31 PM  
I think they could take sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care. I can't imagine 5 years from now, saying "Damn, remember sesame seeds? What happened? All the buns are blank! They're gonna have to change that McDonald's song: 'Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a... Bun.' How's a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's farkin' magical! There's got to be some sesame seed glue out there! Either that, or they're adhesive on one side. "Take the sesame seed out, remove the backing, place it on the bun. Now your bun will look spectacular." What does a sesame seed grow into? I don't know, we never gave them a chance! What the fark is a sesame? It's a street... It's a way to open shiat!
 
2017-01-11 04:06:26 PM  

rnatalie: I think they could take sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care. I can't imagine 5 years from now, saying "Damn, remember sesame seeds? What happened? All the buns are blank! They're gonna have to change that McDonald's song: 'Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a... Bun.' How's a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's farkin' magical! There's got to be some sesame seed glue out there! Either that, or they're adhesive on one side. "Take the sesame seed out, remove the backing, place it on the bun. Now your bun will look spectacular." What does a sesame seed grow into? I don't know, we never gave them a chance! What the fark is a sesame? It's a street... It's a way to open shiat!


Melted butter on the tops and sprinkle with sesame seeds.  Voila.
 
2017-01-11 04:08:39 PM  

Destructor: [vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net image 119x151]


img.fark.net

img.fark.net
 
2017-01-11 04:09:08 PM  
img.fark.net

The spice must flow.
 
2017-01-11 04:16:59 PM  

MyMindIsGoingDave: [ci.memecdn.com image 599x465]


/came this.
// leaving t find the lisan al gaib.
///  Muad'dib!
 
2017-01-11 04:25:13 PM  

Maud Dib: I feel compelled to post in this thread.


\yes, I know it's spelled wrong.


Just git yer hand into the damn box so we can all get out of here. :)
 
2017-01-11 04:29:36 PM  
If good old fashioned cannabis were legal Florida man would spend his time glued to the TV eating Cheetos instead of finding dumb and dumberer ways to get arrested. We wouldn't want that now would we?
 
2017-01-11 04:45:37 PM  

fragMasterFlash: If good old fashioned cannabis were legal Florida man would spend his time glued to the TV eating Cheetos instead of finding dumb and dumberer ways to get arrested. We wouldn't want that now would we?


We are getting medical marijuana.......baby steps.
 
2017-01-11 04:49:12 PM  
"Synthetic marijuana?"

That is the biggest crock of shiate since Reefer Madness.
 
2017-01-11 04:50:08 PM  

FrancoFile: We have just folded space from Florida.  Many weirdos in Florida.  New weirdos.


Better than those on Richese.
 
2017-01-11 04:57:55 PM  

fly_gal: He faces charges of burglary and possession of burglary tools.

A butter knife is now a burglary tool?  I thought a lock picking kit would be a burglary tool... not a kitchen utensil.


It will probably be dropped, they're just throwing the book at him.  They can make anything a burglary tool.
 
2017-01-11 06:02:44 PM  
img01.deviantart.net
 
2017-01-11 06:46:39 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2017-01-11 06:54:44 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Spice spice baby
 
2017-01-11 07:04:13 PM  
Good work, subby.
 
2017-01-11 07:44:21 PM  
Did two obese Patti's make him do it?
 
2017-01-11 08:27:17 PM  
 
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