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(Guardian)   "Knights of Malta condom scandal stretches from Myanmar to the Vatican." That's some impressive elasticity   ( theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Pope, condom scandal, Albrecht von Boeselager, condom distribution programme, Holy See, church teaching, lay religious order, second-class knight Boeselager  
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4256 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2017 at 9:20 AM (36 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-01-11 05:51:48 AM  
The Knights of St John are one of the last extant orders of crusading knights. They are also known as the Knights of Malta. Mostly they help the poor now.
 
2017-01-11 09:24:36 AM  
Doesn't affect me I only use Trump brand condoms. Thinnest skin in the world
 
2017-01-11 09:31:42 AM  
Stay classy Catholic derp.
 
2017-01-11 09:33:32 AM  
Catholics have their heads so far up their own asses that they can't even bring themselves to support the use of condoms.
 
2017-01-11 09:41:31 AM  
If it wasn't for Trump's golden shower report this would be the best story of the day!

img.fark.net
 
2017-01-11 09:42:42 AM  
That's gonna hurt when it snaps back.
 
2017-01-11 09:45:03 AM  
What about the shrubbery?
 
2017-01-11 09:58:15 AM  
mmm, a Catholic hate thread. yum.
 
2017-01-11 09:58:59 AM  

iheartscotch: The Knights of St John are one of the last extant orders of crusading knights. They are also known as the Knights of Malta. Mostly they help the poor now.


It's a tax dodge, like any other catholic charity. My grandfather was one. The other, less wealthy grandfather was a Knight of Columbus.
 
2017-01-11 10:01:57 AM  

sinko swimo: mmm, a Catholic hate thread. yum.


It's low in calories and easily obtained. What's not to like?
 
2017-01-11 10:03:54 AM  

iheartscotch: The Knights of St John are one of the last extant orders of crusading knights. They are also known as the Knights of Malta. Mostly they help the poor now.


They're also know for making great milkshakes.
 
2017-01-11 10:10:52 AM  
And still it fits?
i1079.photobucket.com
 
2017-01-11 10:13:07 AM  
This might show an irrational distrust of religion on my part, but when I read the headline I thought it was going to be about priests deliberately putting holes in condoms and then distributing them in poorer countries. Then, when the inevitable pregnancies and STD spread starts showing up, use it as an opportunity to spread doubt and misinformation about them to people with poor education.

I mean, I'm not pleasantly surprised, but I am reflecting on my knee-jerk hatred for organised religious groups.

/Thankfully, this is just a run of the mill religious authority castigating people who put well being before dogma story.
 
OOF
2017-01-11 10:13:32 AM  
img.fark.net

Malta Nights?
 
2017-01-11 10:26:16 AM  

Ostman: This might show an irrational distrust of religion on my part, but when I read the headline I thought it was going to be about priests deliberately putting holes in condoms and then distributing them in poorer countries. Then, when the inevitable pregnancies and STD spread starts showing up, use it as an opportunity to spread doubt and misinformation about them to people with poor education.

I mean, I'm not pleasantly surprised, but I am reflecting on my knee-jerk hatred for organised religious groups.

/Thankfully, this is just a run of the mill religious authority castigating people who put well being before dogma story.


How to prepare a catholic condom:

www.evartha.in
 
2017-01-11 10:28:20 AM  

Ostman: This might show an irrational distrust of religion on my part, but when I read the headline I thought it was going to be about priests deliberately putting holes in condoms and then distributing them in poorer countries. Then, when the inevitable pregnancies and STD spread starts showing up, use it as an opportunity to spread doubt and misinformation about them to people with poor education.

I mean, I'm not pleasantly surprised, but I am reflecting on my knee-jerk hatred for organised religious groups.

/Thankfully, this is just a run of the mill religious authority castigating people who put well being before dogma story.


I don't think the actual facts are any better than your nightmare scenario. An order of Catholics is going rogue because they want to be total assholes and Pope Francis doesn't want Catholics to act like that.

Even worse, the guy who was fired prompting the whole mess still took the asshole route, but he wasn't an asshole fast enough for this "conservative" cardinal, so he cut him and lied about Pope Francis making the decision. Because said cardinal apparently is only so very, very concerned about hemming as closely to scripture as possible when it has to do with sex slaves getting as much AIDS as possible, not so much about himself bearing false witness. The "conservative" mindset showing its true colors once again....
 
2017-01-11 10:28:25 AM  
There is a reason the Papacy exterminated the various orders of the Knights Templar on Friday, October 13, 1307.

Looks like they missed a branch.
 
2017-01-11 10:28:48 AM  
2016  or 1620?
 
2017-01-11 10:49:25 AM  
The Maltese Condom?  Its what dreams are made of.
 
2017-01-11 10:50:43 AM  

Ostman: This might show an irrational distrust of religion on my part, but when I read the headline I thought it was going to be about priests deliberately putting holes in condoms and then distributing them in poorer countries. Then, when the inevitable pregnancies and STD spread starts showing up, use it as an opportunity to spread doubt and misinformation about them to people with poor education.

I mean, I'm not pleasantly surprised, but I am reflecting on my knee-jerk hatred for organised religious groups.

/Thankfully, this is just a run of the mill religious authority castigating people who put well being before dogma story.


How do you feel about unorganized religion?
 
2017-01-11 10:51:11 AM  
The Pope didn't want the Maltese falcon and not having to take responsibility for it.
 
2017-01-11 10:51:40 AM  
Damn, 1 minute
 
2017-01-11 10:58:37 AM  

Russ1642: Catholics have their heads so far up their own asses that they can't even bring themselves to support the use of condoms.


img.fark.net

Graphic for the verbally challenged.
 
2017-01-11 11:33:15 AM  

GrogSmash: There is a reason the Papacy exterminated the various orders of the Knights Templar on Friday, October 13, 1307.

Looks like they missed a branch.


That reason mostly being that the French crown owed them a lot of money, to the point where it was cheaper and easier for the king to convince the pope to abolish the order and let him execute its leaders than to pay them back.

There was only one order of knights templar, the other militant orders where entirely separate, and apart from most of the lower ranking knights templar transferring over to them they were unaffected by that whole affair.
 
2017-01-11 11:33:41 AM  

Resident Muslim: Ostman: This might show an irrational distrust of religion on my part, but when I read the headline I thought it was going to be about priests deliberately putting holes in condoms and then distributing them in poorer countries. Then, when the inevitable pregnancies and STD spread starts showing up, use it as an opportunity to spread doubt and misinformation about them to people with poor education.

I mean, I'm not pleasantly surprised, but I am reflecting on my knee-jerk hatred for organised religious groups.

/Thankfully, this is just a run of the mill religious authority castigating people who put well being before dogma story.

How do you feel about unorganized religion?


On the same level as people who believe in ghosts. I don't think there's any good evidence to support their position, but it's mostly harmless as they don't try to inflict their beliefs on anyone via organised political actions led by a bullshiat artist.

I don't think I'm articulating this very gracefully, but whatever people think to themselves is their business. And if some of those people want to get together in private and have fun with their ideas, that's cool too. It's when they start pushing their conclusions on other people and indoctrinating children that I have a problem.
 
2017-01-11 11:53:45 AM  
I wonder why Francis put Burke among so many other conservative troublemakers.
 
2017-01-11 12:05:19 PM  
"Look, Angleton wasn't a mole hunter over there for no particular reason." Jack forcefully poked the tabletop with a finger as he emphasized, "He was was right there from the beginning." He sat back, "Wild Bill Donovan, Alan Dulles, Gehlen, Prince General Anton Turkel .. these were men skilled in a goal that's outside mere nationalities. They planted moles and spies in each other's organizations. They hoodwinked each other on a regular basis. When Gehlen was in on the beginning of the CIA he brought several thousand Nazi spies with him ostensibly to keep an eye on the Russians. German hatred of Russian Communism is limitless. But since we know now how thoroughly General Turkel's MAX network had penetrated Gehlen's spy organization, or how thoroughly Otto Skorzeny had his people penetrate the Turkel ring, who can say which side damn near anybody is on? It's a stupendous goat roping festival of power plays, betrayal, shifting alliances. You name it. I would be really surprised if CIA didn't know, but how on earth could they let it be known the Company had been formed around a nucleus of agents and spies of the very thing CIA was tasked to deal with?"
"Where did you learn all this?"
"I read. But what is the one common denominator to all this?"
"Tell me."
"The Knights of Malta."
"Get the hell out .."
"Seriously. Each of the men I've just mentioned is a Knight in the Sovereign Military Hospitaller Order of Saint John of Jerusalem of Rhodes and of Malta."
"You're telling me that when Allen Dulles and Bill Donovan formed the CIA they did so with the organizational expertise of Reinhard Gehlen? That Gehlen had Soviet counter-agents in his org and that this could very well be why James Jesus Angleton has been searching for moles in the CIA since the very beginning? And that all of these men were in the Knights of Malta"
Jack nodded.
"All of them?"
"All."
"You know that's a very small fraternity? They had to know each other!"
"Yep."
"Holy Mother of God."
 
2017-01-11 12:37:43 PM  

Cheron: Doesn't affect me I only use Trump brand condoms. Thinnest skin in the world



And the Super Jumbo XXXXL is almost my size.
 
2017-01-11 12:54:00 PM  

Resident Muslim: How do you feel about unorganized religion?


I think disorganized religion would be funnier.  Lots of ruining around, cowls on backwards, dropping sheafs of paper everywhere.  Maybe some three stooges brand ladder hijinks.
 
2017-01-11 12:55:39 PM  

rosekolodny: Resident Muslim: How do you feel about unorganized religion?

I think disorganized religion would be funnier.  Lots of ruining around, cowls on backwards, dropping sheafs of paper everywhere.  Maybe some three stooges brand ladder hijinks.


Running.  Not ruining.  That nearly ruined my joke.
 
2017-01-11 12:55:41 PM  
Challenging Rome's authority?  Do you want an anti-pope in Avignon?  Because that's how you get an anti-pope in Avignon...
 
2017-01-11 01:00:09 PM  
No idea why so many people choose to belong to such an outdated, primitive, corrupt organization.

Lie, cheat, steal and rape....they've done it all. If you go back far enough you can add murder to that list. On a vast scale too.

Catholic hate thread? What's not to hate? This is like complaining about an organized crime hate thread.
 
2017-01-11 01:04:36 PM  
Paging Dan Brown!  Catholic Intrigue detected.  Dan Brown to the thread, please.  And bring Robert Langdon wit' ya.
 
2017-01-11 01:06:14 PM  
In the old days, the Pope would have just ordered up a quick inquisition and be done with it.
 
2017-01-11 01:08:52 PM  
Wake me up when the Vatican has these:
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2017-01-11 01:43:49 PM  
Malta?!?  *triggered* /gets hit by targeted AoE stun grenade that lasts 1 min.... //sapped. ///now has a CoH sad
 
2017-01-11 10:17:02 PM  

mongbiohazard: Ostman: This might show an irrational distrust of religion on my part, but when I read the headline I thought it was going to be about priests deliberately putting holes in condoms and then distributing them in poorer countries. Then, when the inevitable pregnancies and STD spread starts showing up, use it as an opportunity to spread doubt and misinformation about them to people with poor education.

I mean, I'm not pleasantly surprised, but I am reflecting on my knee-jerk hatred for organised religious groups.

/Thankfully, this is just a run of the mill religious authority castigating people who put well being before dogma story.

I don't think the actual facts are any better than your nightmare scenario. An order of Catholics is going rogue because they want to be total assholes and Pope Francis doesn't want Catholics to act like that.

Even worse, the guy who was fired prompting the whole mess still took the asshole route, but he wasn't an asshole fast enough for this "conservative" cardinal, so he cut him and lied about Pope Francis making the decision. Because said cardinal apparently is only so very, very concerned about hemming as closely to scripture as possible when it has to do with sex slaves getting as much AIDS as possible, not so much about himself bearing false witness. The "conservative" mindset showing its true colors once again....



Everything Francis is, Cardinal Burke is the opposite. Think of them as the TC equivalent of Obama and Trump.  Burke was besties with Cardinal Ratzinger aka half-a-pope Bennie 14, but thought Bennie was a touch soft and liberal.   Francis? Well Burke nearly had a stroke when he got elected, and promptly set out to reign in the "heretic".  Frankie though, was in no mood, and promptly busted Burke From Chief Justice of the Catholic Supreme Court to the equivalent of honorary chaplain of the Boy Scouts.  BT it appears even in what was supposed to be a purely ceremonial position, Burke has managed some serious assholishness shiatcanning the head of an important charity over the kind of thing Frankie has made it clear is not the sort of thing he wants the Church focused on.  And he had the gall to tell said fired guy that the firing was on the Pope's orders.  And when Frankie said "dafuq" and started investigating. Burke basically said "I do what I want, you ain't the boss of me"
 
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