Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   What happens when you combine Walmart and Florida? Here's one of the many possibilities   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Florida, EST, 2009 World Figure Skating Championships, English-language films, Mailonline  
•       •       •

10500 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2017 at 4:11 AM (36 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-01-10 11:51:05 PM  
Drunk after five beers?
 
2017-01-11 04:11:58 AM  
You get the Daily Fail?
 
2017-01-11 04:14:55 AM  

fusillade762: Drunk after five beers?


She's a cheap date.
 
2017-01-11 04:14:59 AM  
A shootout where everyone involved is riding a mobility scooter?
 
2017-01-11 04:23:14 AM  

fusillade762: Drunk after five beers?


Maybe they were 20 oz. Wicked IPAs. You don't know, man.
 
2017-01-11 04:31:16 AM  
She belong in jail for touching someone testicles. There should be charge against her.
 
2017-01-11 04:39:41 AM  

fusillade762: Drunk after five beers?


You don't start drinking in Walmart sober.
 
2017-01-11 04:43:24 AM  
And suddenly my next wife appears
 
2017-01-11 04:46:33 AM  
She's really.....wait

......18.....

.......cute.
 
2017-01-11 05:07:29 AM  
Jacob Dylan?
 
2017-01-11 05:08:21 AM  
Walida
Flormart
 
2017-01-11 05:11:44 AM  
FTFA:  Conder allegedly grabbed one of the paramedics by the testicles as she was being evaluated.

Whoobuddy, she'd have gotten a helluva surprise if she'd done that to me.

/had it happen to me several times on the job
//the looks on their faces is pretty priceless
 
2017-01-11 05:29:37 AM  
The cop is a public servant.  The girl is part of the public.  Shouldn't she be able to touch his testicles since they're on the clock paid by tax payers' money?

Just kidding man.  Pretty good looking though.  Sounds too crazy to stick your dick in though.
 
2017-01-11 05:29:44 AM  

Mega Steve: A shootout where everyone involved is riding a mobility scooter?


It happened in The Villages, the median age is 66, and only 0.3% aged 18 to 24. I was kind of surprised at her age, too.

Of course, if I were 18 and stuck in The Villages, I'd probably take up drinking, too. Hell, I'm 55 and would drink heavily if I was stuck there, which may be where she learned it.

I LEARNED IT FROM YOU, GRANDPA!
 
2017-01-11 05:32:51 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: The cop paramedic is a public servant.  The girl is part of the public.  Shouldn't she be able to touch his testicles since they're on the clock paid by tax payers' money?

Just kidding man.  Pretty good looking though.  Sounds too crazy to stick your dick in though.

 
2017-01-11 05:34:10 AM  

docpeteyJ: FTFA:  Conder allegedly grabbed one of the paramedics by the testicles as she was being evaluated.

Whoobuddy, she'd have gotten a helluva surprise if she'd done that to me.

/had it happen to me several times on the job
//the looks on their faces is pretty priceless


I hope your auto reply to that is a Joey "How you doin?"
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2017-01-11 05:35:27 AM  
Trumpette?
/Grab them by the balls
 
2017-01-11 05:37:45 AM  

Boo_Guy: docpeteyJ: FTFA:  Conder allegedly grabbed one of the paramedics by the testicles as she was being evaluated.

Whoobuddy, she'd have gotten a helluva surprise if she'd done that to me.

/had it happen to me several times on the job
//the looks on their faces is pretty priceless

I hope your auto reply to that is a Joey "How you doin?"
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 340x170]


Heh.  I'll have to remember that.  Usually I'm as surprised as they are.  My usual response is something along the lines of "whoa there!"
 
2017-01-11 05:38:30 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: Bigdogdaddy: The cop paramedic is a public servant.  The girl is part of the public.  Shouldn't she be able to touch his testicles since they're on the clock paid by tax payers' money?

Just kidding man.  Pretty good looking though.  Sounds too crazy to stick your dick in though.


Crazy, but farkable crazy for sure. She'd have 5 beer (bottles) in her before the end of the first 'date'.
 
2017-01-11 05:41:10 AM  
Walmart Florida is an anagram of:
DIA Warm Fart LOL
 
2017-01-11 05:44:46 AM  
When I step into a Wal-Mart in California, I see the Wal-Martians and I pretend I'm in Florida then everything seems normal.
 
2017-01-11 05:53:09 AM  
"Petit theft" sounds so cute... like shoplifting a poodle
 
2017-01-11 05:54:17 AM  
The next new challenge will be how many brews can you down before security can taze you into submission?!
 
2017-01-11 06:04:35 AM  
 
2017-01-11 06:06:17 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: Bigdogdaddy: Bigdogdaddy: The cop paramedic is a public servant.  The girl is part of the public.  Shouldn't she be able to touch his testicles since they're on the clock paid by tax payers' money?

Just kidding man.  Pretty good looking though.  Sounds too crazy to stick your dick in though.

Crazy, but farkable crazy for sure. She'd have 5 beer (bottles) in her before the end of the first 'date'.


Sounds painful. At once?

/That's my fetish?
 
2017-01-11 06:20:36 AM  
At least she's reasonable attractive..That will help her case. Justice may be blind, but male judges
aren't..
 
2017-01-11 06:58:54 AM  
Conder allegedly grabbed one of the paramedics by the testicles as she was being evaluated.

So what?  She's acting Presidential.   Can we sign her up for a run in 2020?

//damn political correctness
 
2017-01-11 07:07:46 AM  

jso2897: fusillade762: Drunk after five beers?

Maybe they were 20 oz. Wicked IPAs. You don't know, man.


More likely 5 icehouse lite in the commemorative NHL can.
 
2017-01-11 07:08:42 AM  
What do you get?  Subby's mom?
 
2017-01-11 07:49:36 AM  
Surprised this was at the Villages.   This sounds like more of a Leesburg incident.
 
2017-01-11 07:51:02 AM  

Devolving_Spud: So what?  She's acting Presidential.   Can we sign her up for a run in 2020?


You have to be 35 years old.

/a blast at parties
 
2017-01-11 08:01:08 AM  

Mega Steve: A shootout where everyone involved is riding a mobility scooter?


I was going to say hoverounds with gun turrets, but this works too.
 
2017-01-11 08:15:22 AM  
My sister lives in Summerfield.  I spent three days there at Christmas.  I was so bored, I could see going to the WM, downing a few beers, and jumping in the sinkhole.

   Not Guilty.
 
2017-01-11 08:18:57 AM  

randomarrangement: Mega Steve: A shootout where everyone involved is riding a mobility scooter?

I was going to say hoverounds with gun turrets, but this works too.


I think we found out next Photoshop challenge...
 
2017-01-11 08:20:04 AM  

Lokilaw2012: randomarrangement: Mega Steve: A shootout where everyone involved is riding a mobility scooter?

I was going to say hoverounds with gun turrets, but this works too.

I think we found out next Photoshop challenge...


"OUR" next Photoshop challenge....

/*sigh*
 
2017-01-11 08:37:57 AM  

FlyingBacon: She belong in jail for touching someone testicles. There should be charge against her.


She's not important enough to go around grabbing people by their genitals!
 
2017-01-11 08:42:30 AM  

Lokilaw2012: randomarrangement: Mega Steve: A shootout where everyone involved is riding a mobility scooter?

I was going to say hoverounds with gun turrets, but this works too.

I think we found out next Photoshop challenge...


img.fark.net
 
2017-01-11 09:51:43 AM  
How else are you going to find out if someone is ticklish unless you test tickle them?
 
2017-01-11 09:58:49 AM  

fusillade762: Drunk after five beers?


Well, sorta depends.  If she walked in, grabbed 5 beers and just slammed them one after another - then hell yes I'd imagine she was beyond wasted.   Alcohol isn't just a concentration and/or amount thing, it's a concentration and or amount/time spent consuming it.  If she spent 2 hours wandering around drinking beer, not so much.  From the tone of the article I'm guessing she hammered them fast, and thus got hammered, fast.  Sure, me and someone else can spend an evening killing a bottle of wine and end up mildly lit, but functional for most non-driving type things.  If we each slammed down half a bottle of wine in a minute, yeah say hello to Mr. Floor.

/not that I disbelieve you COULD have someone walking around Walmart for 2 hours drinking their beer, that'd not be that bizarre considering some of the shiat people get up to in there.  Florida just adds.
 
2017-01-11 10:01:46 AM  
Back in the early 80s the cops found my oldest sister passed out in the shrub she fell into.  She came to when the paramedics were checking her out and she tried, or succeeded, in kicking a few of them in the balls.  IIRC they dropped the charges.

Sigh.  Not a proud family moment.  The coke and booze no doubt contributed to her early death.  It certainly made her a useless member of society for the rest of her life.
 
2017-01-11 10:15:32 AM  
Oh Florida....
 
2017-01-11 10:21:49 AM  
She's cute enough...and obviously drunk enough...to "give a ride home" to...
 
2017-01-11 11:21:48 AM  
It deeply surprises me that no one as yet has asked what her Fark handle is...
 
2017-01-11 11:25:24 AM  
I'd let her fondle my business while I play doctor on her
 
2017-01-11 11:30:39 AM  
Fark never ceases to amaze me.

I come here expecting a full blown "Fark Fattie Thread" full of "do not want" GIFs, yet everyone swung the complete opposite way...

..I...I'm so confused...
 
2017-01-11 11:30:46 AM  

snowballinhell: It deeply surprises me that no one as yet has asked what her Fark handle is...


Most of our 'exhibitionists" have been run off. Probably seeking shelter at Reddit or *shudder* 4chan
 
2017-01-11 11:48:36 AM  

2KanZam: Fark never ceases to amaze me.

I come here expecting a full blown "Fark Fattie Thread" full of "do not want" GIFs, yet everyone swung the complete opposite way...

..I...I'm so confused...


Fat? That girl? No way. And I am by no means a chubby chaser.
 
2017-01-11 02:59:08 PM  
So, was she that desperate, or just from an "evangelical Christian" family?
 
Displayed 48 of 48 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report