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(HamNCheez)   Full tank of gas: $30. Speeding ticket: $120. Writing smartass letter to the police and having ticket voided? Priceless   (media.hamncheez.com) divider line 194
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176580 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2004 at 6:49 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



194 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2004-05-05 09:19:09 PM
That is a work of art.
 
2004-05-05 09:26:37 PM
Feh. I know a chick who gets out of speeding tickets all the time by giving blowjobs. She has to be neither creative nor witty. And it still works.
 
2004-05-05 09:28:11 PM
I agree with EMP.
 
2004-05-05 09:28:40 PM
I agree with EMP. That is a work of art.
 
2004-05-05 09:30:32 PM
Again, I also agree with EMP.
 
2004-05-05 09:39:32 PM
Masterful.
 
2004-05-05 09:41:02 PM
Great letter. And awesome how he idly makes his case while having a good time about it.
 
2004-05-05 09:50:49 PM
OK, I seem to be losing. Maybe I just like the thought of a good hummer.
 
2004-05-05 09:54:16 PM
Ah, that's golden...
 
2004-05-05 10:07:15 PM
What, no Flux Capacitor option package on the Nissan Bluebird SSS? I suppose there's no Mr. Fusion power option or a hover-conversion package either. What a POS.

Wake me when some automaker markets the Time Train.

/Don't need money, don't need fame
 
2004-05-05 10:11:16 PM
Two cup holders!


/jealous
 
2004-05-05 10:15:25 PM
Gawd, you guys are sycophants.
 
2004-05-05 10:19:23 PM
huenix

Feh. I know a chick who gets out of speeding tickets all the time by giving blowjobs. She has to be neither creative nor witty. And it still works.

heh. I had to check and see if you were in NYC. I know a tranny that does the same thing all the time. S/he gets pulled over for drunken driving - bj. Speeding - bj. The list goes on and on. And I thought all our cops were macho type guys. It just blew me away. (pun intended)
 
2004-05-05 11:27:20 PM
sentex

Behold! For I have three cup holders!!
 
2004-05-05 11:49:35 PM
Beautiful. That just went into my favorites
 
2004-05-05 11:54:48 PM
I once wrote a letter pleading insanity to a parking violation. It didn't work. They did reduce it by 1/2 though.
 
2004-05-06 12:11:05 AM
Feh. "surfcontrol" blows.
 
2004-05-06 01:54:35 AM
ahhhh... last month's news at it's finest
 
2004-05-06 02:17:46 AM
If this was the US, they would have charged him for the suggested offenses he listed.
 
2004-05-06 06:55:59 AM
Whoever he is, I wanna marry this guy:D
 
2004-05-06 06:56:20 AM
this guy's done a good job, but he still seems like the type of person i'd want to punch in the mouth after about five seconds of knowing him.
 
2004-05-06 06:59:37 AM
Classic. Thank you clever speeder. That made my morning.
 
2004-05-06 07:00:36 AM
"I expect you will want to apprehend me fairly shortly now that we've established that I may have committed the following offences: ... -Evading the law using an automated number plate changing mechanism."

classic.
 
2004-05-06 07:02:26 AM
Simply wonderful. Made my day.
 
2004-05-06 07:03:13 AM
Nice job!

But this guy is really annoying.

I WOULDN'T MIND WATCHING 12 L.A. COPS TENDERIZE HIM INTO TOTAL PULVERIZATION!
 
2004-05-06 07:03:33 AM
Too bad the cop who replied couldn't have hinted that he had to get a new keyboard after spewing coffee all over the last one when reading the letter.

oh well...

such is life.
 
2004-05-06 07:04:28 AM
I encourage anyone who didn't read the full thing to do so. The man's writing style is so thick with irony and sarcasm I think I need some Windex

Policezowned.
 
2004-05-06 07:07:22 AM
The guy seems to be an asshole.
Too bad he can't get a ticket for that.
 
2004-05-06 07:08:04 AM
The guys at the police station probably had a good laugh too. The officer who wrote the citation will have a hard time living this one down.

Icing on the cake: The ticket has his occupation listed as "Accountant." Every accountant I know is extremely boring - this guy breaks the mold.
 
2004-05-06 07:10:13 AM
Anyone noticed that he had till 26-1-2004 to take care of the ticket. Thats another 19 months, so why the rush?
 
2004-05-06 07:13:22 AM
Mervyn,

Hopefully you're just kidding. Or, maybe you don't know that the entire worls, except for the US, writes the date with the day first, then the month, then year.
 
2004-05-06 07:13:26 AM
I particularly like the bit at the end about needing the $120 for modifications to his car to make it more competitive in the street drags.

10 mph over the limit in a non residential area doesn't seem worth stopping a car for.
 
2004-05-06 07:14:23 AM
If ever police brutality could be justified it would be now. Smug little sunnavabiatch needs a baytin'
 
2004-05-06 07:14:36 AM
Of course, if this were in the States, the cops would have a massive hard-on for this guy for the rest of his life. He wouldn't be able to leave his house without getting nailed/set up/entrapped for something.
 
2004-05-06 07:16:07 AM
16km/h over the speed limit? WTF is that country
 
2004-05-06 07:19:44 AM
There are a couple of officers around here that, if you are nice, routinely do this on tickets so if you are smart and catch it you'll get the same deal as this guy. Mind you this is when in ther're in groups and HAVE to give you a ticket so they don't look soft.

/I thought my Boobies would be better, sorry
 
2004-05-06 07:21:51 AM
iriedog:- don't apologise. Bad boobies are better than no boobies at all.
 
2004-05-06 07:21:52 AM
Pretty creative.

However, sending a letter like that to the good ol' boys down at the Saint Louis County police station wouldn't do any good.

Worst case, it would result in a near-death beating.

Saint Louis cops are not known for their congenality.
 
2004-05-06 07:23:06 AM
that kiwi should have a hero tag...
 
2004-05-06 07:23:30 AM
As an aside, I LOVE the Empire Strikes Back in 3 minutes on the front page of that site.
 
2004-05-06 07:23:49 AM
hmm my '74 Benz seems to have been jyped on the cupholder thing. All I get is a large flat area between the front seats that was supposedly intended for putting stuff on.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-05-06 07:24:05 AM
NZ adopted "anywhere, anytime" as their policy for speed cameras. There could be a camera hidden anywhere. They want drivers to expect to be ticketed even on the most remote stretches of highway. This policy was adopted following extensive research showing that cameras should be placed where there is an accident problem and they do more harm than good elsewhere.

Translated for Americans, he was doing 70 in a 60 zone on a rural two lane highway.
 
2004-05-06 07:25:28 AM
I got pulled over for going approximately 56 in a 45.

Cop asked me "I know you're not in a hurry to go to work, so why the rush?"

Me : "Wasn't paying attention"

Cop : Do you know how fast you were going.

Me : About 56-57 or so.

Cop : What's the speed limit here?

Me : 45.

Cop : Hrm, well, don't do it again. *bails*

DAMN THAT HONESTY.

Eh, he coulda pulled me over 5 minutes before, since I never noticed him behind me. Our cops have White SUVs now instead of the standard black and white cars.

Dammit.
 
2004-05-06 07:25:49 AM
...Maybe someone could post the letter (if SFW)? My company's filter doesn't allow me to go to that site... AARRRGGHHH!
 
2004-05-06 07:26:18 AM


The Bluebird SSS is the Australian version of the Nissan Altima. The newer ones look like big versions of the newer Civics, and the older ones look a lot like Accords. I can understand the cop getting a little confused if he can't read.
 
2004-05-06 07:30:37 AM
to anyone can't figure out the country - it's New Zealand (as it quite clearly says in more than one place). 100km/h highway. 16km over the limit. $120 fine. Thats about $65US.

This guy must've scanned it and emailed it off the day he got the letter back, cos I saw this a while back.


/anymore question straight to the ignorant bin
 
2004-05-06 07:31:34 AM
Yeah but full tank of gas is about 70e here.
 
2004-05-06 07:31:50 AM
DixieNormus

I take great offense to your comment on accountants. That's like me saying that all guys who refer to large penises in there names are actually packing a number 2 pencil!
 
2004-05-06 07:32:53 AM
I have to say it in a way that only a Kiwi would say it. That was bloody brilliant mate. I got a speeding ticket just north of the area where this guy was born, about this time last year. Damn Speed Cameras !!!!
 
2004-05-06 07:36:01 AM
*cough cough* You could just drive the speed limit. Saves money.
 
2004-05-06 07:37:57 AM
/classic
 
2004-05-06 07:38:01 AM
...Reminds me of the time I tried to pay a speeding ticket with $2 bills...
 
2004-05-06 07:39:11 AM
And this is why I hate small towns....

I just got a parking ticket, I can't park on the street RIGHT OUTSIDE my front door from 2a-6a. So anyway, I get a ticket last night. There is no badge number, the ticket is unsigned, My VIN number is not written on the ticket, and the cop wrote down the wrong address where the car was parked. I go to the cop shop to say that I want a court date to fight this, because the ticket isn't legal.

I'm basically told that I'll lose the case. I ask on what grounds, the farking ticket isn't even signed!!! I'm then told that that doesn't matter because "We (the police) know who was working last night." Me "Well I don't, how do I know that Officer Mrotek wrote that ticket?" (having been previously told it was Officer Mrotek) Officer: "Because I know his handwriting." Me: "WTF, I don't who wrote the ticket?" Officer: "Don't go to court, we will find you guilty, and you'll have to pay court costs too.."

FARKING SMALL TOWNS!
 
2004-05-06 07:39:33 AM
to save us all some time looking at the thread that appeared on fazed last month, here's my comment, ahem,

Date: 4/21/04 @ 12:41 PM 2

Mach1 in a ford cortina eh. Sweeeeeeeet.
100Kph in a nissan bluebird? unpossible.
 
2004-05-06 07:41:47 AM
Will someone please post the letter for some unknown reason I can only get the ticket and not the letters.
 
2004-05-06 07:42:01 AM
Phear. Tell me about it. The town I live in has a little over 11 thousand people, however, the population when not including the prison is in the 8000's.

My friend's mom is a dispatcher for the police station, so we've gotten lucky a few times, but when I'm by myself, I've been followed....alot....especially lately.

I'm super paranoid, but our new Police SUVs seem to tail me a helluva lot more than back when they just used the cars.

It sucks.
 
2004-05-06 07:42:49 AM
YEAH! BOGAN CAR HATING FLAMEWARS!

F**king Holdens. Stupid Jap cars. Godamned Fords.

No wait a sec... how many car manufacturers are there these days?
 
2004-05-06 07:44:04 AM
Phear, Fight the ticket!!! FIGHT IT!!!!!! That or pay the fine by check. Just dont put in the full amount of the fine and forget to sign it.
 
2004-05-06 07:44:52 AM
2004-05-05 10:15:25 PM Zenken13

Gawd, you guys are sycophants.

I agree with Zenken13.
 
2004-05-06 07:47:14 AM
Mikacat, The Ticket and letters are all together in one jpg image.
 
2004-05-06 07:48:09 AM
Ludicrous speed......GO!!!!!!!

/dark helmet
 
2004-05-06 07:51:27 AM
i think he used too man big words.
therefore hereunto tho infrignement notice was dropped.
 
2004-05-06 07:55:04 AM
"You will notice a time travel option is not included on this model, "

/In MS the cop would come beat you in your front yard for that one.
 
2004-05-06 07:55:19 AM
This dude was on tv a while back - well his story was on the news anyway. From memory he was unavailable for comment. Yeah well hes going to be on the cop hot list now........ is there even such a thing?

(now for the stories from people who THINK they are on some "cop hot list")
 
2004-05-06 08:01:44 AM
For all you guys who want someone to post the story, here's why nobody is copy/pasting it:

The article is actually a 410x2675 JPEG. That's it. If you wanted to copy it down, it's about 3 pages single spaced.

Of course, the JPG is only 200K, so someone should just re-host it.
 
2004-05-06 08:02:39 AM
Heh, I recieved that letter in an e-mail weeks ago. I agree with EMP.

A similar thing happened to me back in '74, on the old back road between Aberdeen and Banchory on the way to Torphins. I was cruising along in my '69 Chevy, the breeze was wafting gently through the trees and golden shafts of sunlight would intermittently obscure my view only to be replaced by the welcome shade of a pine tree on a hot summers day. Anyway, to cut a long story short...*snip*
 
2004-05-06 08:03:03 AM
That was quite clever, but as previously mentioned, if it was in the U.S., the cops wouldn't take very kindly to the letter.
 
2004-05-06 08:09:19 AM
My wife got nailed about 12 years ago for doubling (164 km in a 80 km zone)the speed limit (she was late for work and yes, it was all MY fault...blah, blah, blah)Anyways, the cop lowered the ticket to 110 km and she payed the fine (without telling me she got caught) . 6 months later, nothing in the cheque book matches(now she tells me about the infraction). They never had the ticket recorded so she was returned her cheque. It turned out it was a female cop and i said "Were you into a little rug play to get outta that or something?" She said no, the cop was going off-duty and probably wanted just to scare/warn her to slow down. If that was me... i would have probably gotten the anal probe !
 
2004-05-06 08:13:31 AM
FArking Funny!!!
 
2004-05-06 08:23:44 AM
Sir Cumference the Flatulent


Of course, if this were in the States, the cops would have a massive hard-on for this guy for the rest of his life. He wouldn't be able to leave his house without getting nailed/set up/entrapped for something.



Exactly. I was going to send a sarcastic letter along with my money order for the traffic citation I received until I thought more about it. The last thing I need is some fat ex-jarhead breaking down my door in the middle of the night to arrest me because I sent them a joke about sprinkling antrax all over the money order. They just don't have a sense of humor about that stuff anymore. Besides, I WAS speeding so I guess you gotta roll with the punches sometimes. I'm glad to know some cities have such a low crime rate they can dedicate most of their police force to sitting on the side of the road with a laser gun and a full box of donuts.

 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-05-06 08:30:30 AM
aGodinmyownworld

I hadn't heard the phrase "rug play" before. Is it local slang or am I just out of touch?
 
2004-05-06 08:31:46 AM
This is really really old yet still worth reading over and over and over and over.....
 
2004-05-06 08:36:39 AM
I agree with Super Bee
 
2004-05-06 08:39:42 AM
Holy not safe for work pop-ups Batman!

Am I the only one who got an NSFW pop-up for lingerie?
 
2004-05-06 08:40:44 AM
10 over the limit is usually what cops give you before they pull you over. 10 over or above usually gets you stopped. Then, getting a ticket depends on your driving record, and your attitude. If you're a smart ass, ........ticket. If you have so many prior tickets, your d/l looks like swiss chesse from all the staple holes, .........ticket.

But this was pretty funny. Too bad the reply had to be so stale.
 
2004-05-06 08:42:50 AM
ZAZ, I believe it goes um, hand in hand, with the phrase "carpet munching".

Not sure if it's local slang, but probably rates a 6.5/10 on the "obscure" Hustler-slang scale.
 
2004-05-06 08:44:09 AM
2004-05-06 07:13:22 AM wookie1

Mervyn,

Hopefully you're just kidding. Or, maybe you don't know that the entire worls, except for the US, writes the date with the day first, then the month, then year.


Can someone please tell me what the name of the 26th month is again?
 
2004-05-06 08:48:15 AM
"2004-05-06 07:10:13 AM mervyn
Anyone noticed that he had till 26-1-2004 to take care of the ticket. Thats another 19 months, so why the rush?

2004-05-06 07:13:22 AM wookie1
Mervyn,
Hopefully you're just kidding. Or, maybe you don't know that the entire worls, except for the US, writes the date with the day first, then the month, then year."


Ok, both of these posts are gonna make my head asplode
 
2004-05-06 08:57:32 AM
This guys birthday is the same as mine.
Not that that adds anything to this conversation, I just felt like mentioning it.

/got nuttin.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-05-06 08:57:48 AM
Guy Named Ed

I got the meaning just fine, but I'd never heard it put quite that way before.
 
2004-05-06 09:04:04 AM
There is nothing cute, funny or honorable about this man's actions; both in the original speeding incident or the subsequent letter writing. He was driving OVER 100. Won't anyone think about the children? What about the children?

God Bless America and Drive Safe, Everyone. Do it for the Children! And Vote! Vote Early! Vote Often!
 
2004-05-06 09:07:38 AM
ummm over 100km/h. not all that fast.
 
2004-05-06 09:09:41 AM
ebell:

Febtober
 
2004-05-06 09:09:48 AM
I've gotten out of numerous tickets over the years by simply asking the officer for a warning instead of a ticket. I've talked to the officer on two occasions prior to court date and he agreed to drop it altogether. It never hurts to ask. All they can say is no. Back when insurance would go up for a speeding violation, 2 officers changed the violation from speeding to 'no license in posession' or something like that. They still got their fines, but I lost no points and had no insurance increase.
 
2004-05-06 09:14:14 AM
Can someone please tell me what the name of the 26th month is again?

Smarch.

Wait, that's the 13th month.

Actually, I think that's the one Baccardi paid to get changed to "Mojitta".
 
2004-05-06 09:16:33 AM
*glowers at JimBob1015*
 
ACF
2004-05-06 09:16:34 AM
"After careful consideration of your comments"

...we've decided to just track your ass like a dumb animal and make your life a living hell, possibly even framing you with a pound of coke, depends what we have in the evidence room at the time.
 
2004-05-06 09:23:37 AM
Once I jumped a red-light while a cop stopped, coming in the other direction. I wasn't going too fast or anything; just didn't notice it changing to yellow. Anyways, as it turned green, I could see was about to turn around. So I pulled over even before he could turn around and waited for him.

He walks over, and basically just says, "don't do it again".

/Sometimes honesty pays
 
2004-05-06 09:23:59 AM
A full tank of gas costs you $30? I've heard of such things in stories, but it only costs half that much to fill up my civic every few weeks or so.

What's this in my crystal ball? It appears to be rising gas prices and SUV-drivers getting their comeuppance...
 
2004-05-06 09:24:19 AM
Um.... old news...

This guy got off on a technicality. He was driving over 100 mph, as written on the ticket. For that, he's an assclown.

A lucky, lucky assclown. You have to at least partly admire that.
 
2004-05-06 09:25:33 AM
Site seems farked...any chance of posting it for the rest of us?
 
2004-05-06 09:26:14 AM
yeah, site is farked. Little help?
 
2004-05-06 09:29:08 AM
ZAZ

You're not out of touch, its just me and my warped use of the language...lol
 
2004-05-06 09:34:32 AM
Funniest farklink iv'e seen in a while, that.
 
2004-05-06 09:39:37 AM
Two years ago, I worked a 5:30am - 2:00pm schedule. So I was one of very few people on the road at 5:10am. One morn, I was pulled over by a (bored) cop.

He informed me that when I was making the left turn out of my apartment complex parking lot, he clocked me at 70mph. Speed limit on that road is 45.

After a moment of stunned silence, I calmly spoke up.

"Officer. No disrespect meant to you or your radar gun, but you're telling me that, from a full stop, I hit 70 miles per hour while making a left turn. Sir, this is a 4 cylinder Dodge Neon. "

Now it was his turn to be stunned, as he slowly mulled over my words.

"Just...don't do it again!" he blurted before he headed back to his car.

/no 'favors' required...just common sense!
 
2004-05-06 09:41:34 AM
Yep, site is farked, I got a little red x.
 
2004-05-06 09:43:27 AM
For whoever can't see it at work it can also be found here http://leech.dk/bubblegum.php/ticketdefense.jpg.
 
2004-05-06 09:47:41 AM
Robin the Boy Wonder

I didn't see any pop-ups ... oh wait because I use Firefox, you should too, no popups at all, NSFW or otherwise :)
 
2004-05-06 09:49:00 AM
So, if there are any Kiwis on this thread, can you tell me if I should seriously consider NZ for my honeymoon in April? I have always wanted to seee New Zealand, and hope to at some point, but have no idea what April (early fall???) weather is like.

Thanks
 
2004-05-06 09:49:12 AM
I love technicalities. When living in New Orleans I still had Missouri plates on my car, in case you don't know your state abbreviations it's MO not MI which is Michigan. Just about every parking ticket I got had MI on it. I just know there is some old fart in Michigan who is wondering how in the world they got 40 parking tickets in Louisiana.
 
2004-05-06 09:54:22 AM
AaronIsGodOnEarth This guy got off on a technicality. He was driving over 100 mph, as written on the ticket. For that, he's an assclown.

That's 100 kph. 100 kph=62.1mph. Not that fast.
 
2004-05-06 09:56:01 AM
A full tank of gas costs you $30? I've heard of such things in stories, but it only costs half that much to fill up my civic every few weeks or so.

What's this in my crystal ball? It appears to be rising gas prices and SUV-drivers getting their comeuppance...


I have no choice but to drive an SUV because I can't find a farking job to pay for a new car (I got my dad's old SUV when he bought a new one).

/would love to have a Civic...and a job
 
2004-05-06 09:57:49 AM
Holy not safe for work pop-ups Batman!

What popups? Mozilla Firefox didn't see any popups.
 
2004-05-06 09:58:29 AM
Actually AaronIsGodOnEarth, he was driving over 100 KPH. Kilometers per hour. If you read the letter, 116 KPH to be exact. 72 mph. I don't really feel that makes him an 'assclown'.
 
2004-05-06 09:58:57 AM
One of the offenses he has just admitted to is driving at

 
2004-05-06 09:58:58 AM
Excuse me people, I'm just stopping by to point out to a few of you that 117 kmph in a 100 kmph zone is the equivalent of going 72.08102901882806 mph in a 62.138818119679364 mph zone. Given that we have quite a few 70 mph zones in the states, this guy wasn't going that fast.

Carry on.
 
2004-05-06 10:01:11 AM
I lived in Mexico City many moons ago. My dad got pulled over for something, I don't remember what. Anyhow, my dad got away with whatever it was he did by "bribing" the copy with a Playboy magazine and some cigars.

As to this guy with the speeding ticket I say... "Muy bueno!"
 
2004-05-06 10:03:47 AM
Has anyone else noticed that he was only 3.72 MPH over the speed limit?

3.72 MPH?!?!?!?

Holy Sheezot!!

In Smyrna, Tennessee they usually give you about 9 MPH.

Gar darm Aussie pigs!!!!!
 
2004-05-06 10:06:29 AM
Oh well, the site is farked and the other Danish link above appears to be farked too, not entirely sure, because I don't read DANISH!
 
2004-05-06 10:08:28 AM
Your math is off boduje. He was about 10 over
 
2004-05-06 10:08:46 AM
For those of you who can't access the site, here's a mirror of the .jpg.
 
2004-05-06 10:16:36 AM
boduje I got a ticket for going 33 in a 30 in Mt. Juliet, TN once. For $70!!!
 
2004-05-06 10:16:43 AM
Sweet christ, what a dumbass. He needs to be beat like a damn piniata. So the cop made an error and wrote the guy's birthday.
 
2004-05-06 10:19:27 AM
That is priceless...but I didn't really appreciate the NSFW pop-up add.
 
2004-05-06 10:20:53 AM
Ludwig Von Meatwagon

Stay away from Lakewood out in Old Hickory.

10 MPH over and the fine was $175 dollars. Luckily, I was eligible for the driver's education class. Still, that was freakin' $85.
 
2004-05-06 10:23:28 AM
jcs83md

Keep in mind that the dude was 10 KM/H over the speed limit. That is equal to roughly 3.72 MPH.

/according to Google
 
2004-05-06 10:25:29 AM
Should have done this myself. Got a ticket for driving with headphones "on both ears". Not sure why there's a difference, but regardless of my stupidity (even though I was more aware than everyone else on the road), the cop wrote my name Brain. Would have gotten out of paying if I had just kept it, but at the time I thought it would be more cruel to take my time and correct him as he was standing 2 inches from 65+ mph traffic. It was rather satisfying.
 
2004-05-06 10:25:48 AM
I_Like_the_Robbins: "What's this in my crystal ball? It appears to be rising gas prices and SUV-drivers getting their comeuppance..."

WTF, why you gotta pick on SUV drivers. I have a 6 cylinder SUV. It's not a gas hog. There are cars that get worse milage than my SUV. BTW, maybe I can afford the gas increase even if I'm not happy about. Oh well, guess I'll drive my BMW instead.
 
2004-05-06 10:27:43 AM
In my country, when the cop fills the ticket out wrong it is automatically waived. Obviously the cops knew this. Woulda been cooler if they waived it because they liked the story.
 
2004-05-06 10:28:10 AM
jcs83md

/goes back to look at the jpg

Damn! You are absolutely correct. It's way to early in the morning to be dealing with this metric shiat.
 
2004-05-06 10:33:14 AM
boduje

Here is what google tells me.

You must have been using the metric google. :)
 
2004-05-06 10:34:09 AM
I lived in Mexico City many moons ago. My dad got pulled over for something, I don't remember what. Anyhow, my dad got away with whatever it was he did by "bribing" the copy with a Playboy magazine and some cigars.

As to this guy with the speeding ticket I say... "Muy bueno!"


You got pulled because the mexican cop wanted a playboy and some cigars. That's how latin america works my friend. Make up a law on the fly to get that bribe. Kind of like a forced tip.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-05-06 10:38:44 AM
What's this in my crystal ball? It appears to be rising gas prices and SUV-drivers getting their comeuppance...

The headline underestimated the price of gas; filling up a compact car costs about $40. ($1/l; 40 l tank)
 
2004-05-06 10:46:26 AM
boduje: Are you from Smyrna?
 
2004-05-06 10:47:00 AM
That made my morning
 
2004-05-06 10:47:40 AM
Guy Named Ed and Zaz
Two lesbians in a canoe?
/fur traders.
 
2004-05-06 10:49:45 AM
2004-05-06 07:07:22 AM Flipper the Dolphin
The guy seems to be an asshole.
Too bad he can't get a ticket for that.


Hee hee, too bad I'm not a doctor or I'd write you a prescription for a colonic.
 
2004-05-06 10:55:24 AM
Speed limits are obsolete.
 
2004-05-06 10:58:52 AM
It's about time someone spoofed the "priceless" ad by Master Card
 
2004-05-06 11:03:21 AM
that's damn hilarious
 
2004-05-06 11:06:00 AM
A little known fact, almost any type of clerical error on a ticket (i.e. date was ~20 years off) will get is dismissed in court. Trust me it works, like if they right the VIN number down wrong :).
 
2004-05-06 11:06:27 AM
Curtins

That was the first thing I thought as well! "Ludicrous Speed!" ROFL

Col. Sandurz: Prepare ship for light speed!
Dark Helmet: No, no, no, light speed is too slow!
Col. Sandurz: Light speed, too slow?!
Dark Helmet: Yes, we're gonna have to go right to . . . ludicrous speed!
Col. Sandurz: Ludicrous speed?! Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if the ship can take it.
Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?

 
2004-05-06 11:09:34 AM
Can't access the site, anyone got a pic?
 
2004-05-06 11:12:53 AM
i_like_the_robbins

A full tank of gas costs you $30? I've heard of such things in stories, but it only costs half that much to fill up my civic . . .

That has nothing to do with you have a civic, it has to do with you living in BFE, NC. I drive a sedan with a 14 gallon gas tank (like most sedans), and gas here is $2.50 a gallon someplaces.

That's $35 a fillup right there.
 
2004-05-06 11:21:32 AM
one not-so-newsworthy website with endless self promotional remarks by holier than thou net-rats: X amount of dollars

laughing our fat asses off at Armageddon over hot pockets and mountain dew: X amount of dollars

Using a farking Master Card commercial as an acceptable modicum and clich of sarcasm over and over and over and over and over until we have lost all sense of the irony. . .

Priceless.

/h00 0wnz u bab3
 
2004-05-06 11:23:37 AM
Yellowbeard,,, I do not live in NZ but my wife is from there, Ive been there a couple times once during the month of April. It was a bit windy at times and rained a bit, Weather is Auckland is nice in April in the south areas it might be a bit cooler, strong wind but that is the case most of the year. dont pass a chance to go if you have one.
 
2004-05-06 11:26:02 AM
http://leech.dk/bubblegum.php/ticketdefense.jpg
 
2004-05-06 11:35:58 AM
CanuckGuy oh come on, the 13th month is Octember. Haven't you guys read Dr. Suess before?
 
2004-05-06 11:36:03 AM
Dear Justin:

Nobody likes a smartass. See you in court.

Sincerely,
Law Enforcement
 
2004-05-06 11:39:32 AM
That was fantastic. I also have a bit of a ticket story...I was pulled over for "Driving at Safe Speeds" - I scanned a copy of the ticket and posted it here. It was just too funny. It seriously said: "Charge: Driving at Safe Speed." I can assume that this isn't what the officer meant when he pulled me over.....but still, it was amusing. I'd planned on fighting it, but unfortunately it was a whirlwind week in which I applied, was accepted to, and went to college all in one week and I would have had to drive all the way back home to fight a ticket that I might have lost anyhow. It was 104 bucks poorly spent.
 
2004-05-06 11:46:16 AM
And to think, I got let off with a warning for doing 54 in a 35 zone. Good cop. Roll over. Here's a biscuit.

Lesson Learned:
If you have no criminal record and your driving record is spotless, and you happen to get pulled over doing almost 20 over the limit on a long stretch of road that has about 20 different bars within 3 miles, and it's damn near midnight, just tell the cop you were due home an hour ago and your mom is going to disembowel you. Especially if it's that nice black guy, and you call him sir.

He cheated anyway though. Radar detector picked him up a mile away, when I was like 2 blocks away he shut his damn radar off. Coward.

/HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, DUKE PHILLIPS PAYS FOR NOTHIN!!
 
2004-05-06 12:04:08 PM
I didn't RTFL because it's farked, but I say we could probably get a bunch of people together and beat him up...
 
2004-05-06 12:12:25 PM
2004-05-06 07:14:36 AM Sir Cumference the Flatulent


Of course, if this were in the States, the cops would have a massive hard-on for this guy for the rest of his life. He wouldn't be able to leave his house without getting nailed/set up/entrapped for something.


what's making you think they won't do that in NZ?
 
2004-05-06 12:17:14 PM
I have no choice but to drive an SUV because I can't find a farking job to pay for a new car (I got my dad's old SUV when he bought a new one).

/would love to have a Civic...and a job


Sell your SUV and buy a Civic.
 
2004-05-06 12:24:34 PM
Glad this guy stuck it to the "hero" that this cop thinks he is.

/hates power-trip police
 
HTH
2004-05-06 12:27:04 PM

Honda Saloon


Nissan Bluebird SSS
 
2004-05-06 12:47:38 PM
SANDURZ: Prepare ship for light speed.
HELMET: No, no, no, light speed is too slow.

SANDURZ: Light speed, too slow?

HELMET: Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed.

SANDURZ: Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if this ship can take it.

HELMET: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz...chicken?

 
2004-05-06 12:49:03 PM
Talk about small towns & ticket errors. One time going to work I got pulled over with a string of 3 other cars (one of those jump out in the road and flag everyone down revenue generation tactics they use). The cop wrote down the wrong car color/make/plate (I think it was one of the others in the line) on my ticket. So of course I went to court to fight it. Magistrate said it didn't matter that the officer made those errors. I said well what does that say about the accuracy of the officers speed reading on my car, are they allowed to make errors on that too? He kind of gave me a blank look, and said I'll reduce the ticket, but your are still responsible. So I appealed it, and the officer never showed up.

moral of the story, doesn't matter if the office makes errors, you are always at fault you worthless tax payer; and always appeal.
 
2004-05-06 12:52:02 PM
the link is farked
 
2004-05-06 01:02:47 PM
Thanks, Undertheteable, for that information!

Let's look at the possibilities.

Given: If you care about the link, you've already tried it.

Either the link is farked or it's not.

If the link is not farked, there are two possibilities: The person reading visited the link, or he didn't.

So, you've either told someone who -did- visit the link something they know isn't true, or...
told someone who -didn't- something that doesn't make any difference since they didn't care enough to visit.

If the link IS farked, there are two possibilities: The person reading visited the link, or he didn't.

So, you've either told someone who -did- visit the link something they've already seen for themselves, or told someone who -didn't- something that doesn't make any difference...

Congratulations! Your post is proven devoid of content.
 
2004-05-06 01:03:45 PM
farked. Is there a mirror?
 
2004-05-06 01:04:54 PM
can anyone post the article up? My work filter's blocking it as Sex/Extreme for whatever reasons.
 
2004-05-06 01:05:02 PM
perisoft:

Don't be an asshat.
 
2004-05-06 01:18:09 PM
Non-farked mirror:

here
 
2004-05-06 01:20:31 PM
perisoft people like you made me leave SA.
 
2004-05-06 01:21:22 PM
 
2004-05-06 01:24:28 PM
wookie1

Hopefully you're just kidding. Or, maybe you don't know that the entire worls, except for the US, writes the date with the day first, then the month, then year.


actually, in China and anyone using ISO standard dates uses
CCYY-MM-DD format C-Century Y-Year M-Month D-Day
It
 
2004-05-06 01:26:36 PM
Perisoft

I didn't find what you did too offensive. You may have done it a little heavy handed, but since other people have remarked taht it is farked, and there are mirrors posted in the above comments long before that guy posted his post is certainly devoid of content. It was farked when I visited so I browsed the comments and went to one of the mirrors that was posted (and is still working). RTFA and RTFC are a little over posted, but they have good thoughts behind them.
 
2004-05-06 01:29:27 PM
perisoft My doctor recommends "StressTabs"
 
2004-05-06 01:32:00 PM
ROFL! That's a classic.

/thanks to the fellow Farkers for mirroring it....
 
2004-05-06 01:46:32 PM
Fumbisman

Mach1 in a ford cortina eh. Sweeeeeeeet.

"He's like everyone else
he's got a Ford Cortina
that just won't run without fuel.

Fill 'er up, Jacko!"

/Janie Jones
 
2004-05-06 02:01:52 PM
 
2004-05-06 02:09:31 PM
I once got pulled over doing 92 in a 55. (That's 59 KPH over the limit for all you metric people out there)

The officer asked for my license and proof of insurance.

Well, I was out of state (I was going to school in Georgia) and my home state (Alabama) did not require us to carry proof of insurance in the car (you still had to be insured though, obviously).

I had just gotten my license renewed, so I had a temporary license on me. Well, the Alabama DMV was going through a transitional period for their computer systems, and my temporary license was just a computer printout, with no picture.

So let's see here:
37 MPH over the speed limit
No proof of insurance
Driver's License without a picture

My friend who was riding with me says to me as the officer walked back to the patrol card with my info says to me "This isn't good." I respond, "Yeah, I'm going to jail."

Officer returns to the car and says, "I'm going to let you off with a warning THIS TIME, just slow it down ok?"

As I pulled away, my friend finally speaks again, "Did that just happen? How the fark did you get off with a warning?!"
 
2004-05-06 02:09:55 PM
Good for him in getting it reversed. That's a pretty steep fine for a seemingly negligible (depending on which poster's calculations you use) infraction. I guess humor can still win the day occasionally, after all.

Question for the Aussies in the crowd: In the U.S., in addition to the police agencies of individual cities, most states also have "state police" who patrol the the state's highway/expressway system. Does Australia have something similar? I ask this because here in California, the outcome of your traffic stop (i.e. being socked with a ticket or let off with a warning) can depend on which group (city cop or highway patrol) the officer who nailed you belongs to.

Most city cops (and I talked to quite a few during the two years I studied criminal justice in college) loathe traffic detail with a passion. Traffic enforcement is often left to whomever drew the short straw, or had the least seniority. Most city cops would rather do just about anything else besides give out tickets. There are always exceptions, but by and large, most city police would answer the age-old rebuke "Don't you have anything BETTER to do?" with a resounding "YES!"

Accordingly, a driver who (a)displays the appropriately cheerful, polite, repentant attitude, and (b)has nothing else going against him (like an outstanding warrant, breath like the inside of a Coors brewery, or a .44 Magnum and a kilo of heroin sitting on the passenger's seat) actually stands a fair chance of winning reprieve from a city cop for minor infractions.

State troopers/police, on the other hand, are a different story. In California, we have the "CHP": the "California Highway Patrol" (commonly--and somewhat derogatorily--referred to as "Chips," "Chippies," and the ever-colorful "Triple-A With A Gun"). This agency does a number of things, but its officers' primary duty (by FAR) is twofold: 1)clean up car wrecks, and 2)raise revenue for the state by issuing citations.

For as long as I can recall, the CHP has been widely renowned (read: notorious) for its officers' 'aggressive' pursuit of the latter goal. In fact, I have never heard a single story where someone nailed by the CHP *didn't* receive a ticket. I'm sure it has happened, but I'd be willing to bet that it's a rare occurence. It's pretty much common knowledge that if those red lights in the mirror belong to a CHP cruiser, it's already over. "Resistance in futile." Is this the experience of my fellow California farkers as well?

And it seems to me like it's gotten worse lately. Since the onset of the state's budget crisis--and the impending threat it poses to the CHP's funding--they have become positively mercenary. It is rare for me to see fewer than 3 cars pulled over during my commute (each way); I'll often count as many as 7. It's rediculous, and it smells like naked revenue-chasing to me.
 
2004-05-06 02:19:18 PM
Here's a rough OCR of the image:

Justin Lee
46 Dav:d Avc
Manurcwa
Auckland
27*Januar>-2004
New Zealand Police
Infnr.gement Bureau
PC Box 9147
Wellington
Good morning,
INFRINGEMENT NOTICE N3735700
Yesterday. I was presentee with the above infringement notice (copy attached for your
records) while returning home from the Parachute music festival it Mystery Creek near
Hamilton over the long Auckland Anniversary weekend I had a most excellent
weekend, but 1:1.1: is not why I'm writing lu you 74, the first range of proto-typc 1 iondas had an automated number plate
changing mechanism (like on the A-Team) which were used to avoid parking uckcts and
facilitate safer getaways from burglaries, armed hold-ups and the like.
So to recap, it appears that on my birthday on June the 23"* 1974.1 crawled out of the
maternity ward, hijacked a seriously high powered Honda saloon with an automated
number plate changing mechanism, drove to Auckland at close to Moch I. was pulled
over approaching the Bombay hills juid unwittingly chitnged UK automated number plate
changing mechanism to show the same number as a car I would come to own almost
thirty yean lauil! (The chance of selecting the sains number plate in a mere 1 in
308.915.776 - so quite conceivable)
I am currently residing at the address listed at the top of this letter. I expect you will want
to apprehend nte fairly shortly now Out we've ett>blis!ied that I uia> have ooiiuniltcd the
following offences:
- Grand thcA auto (1 probably stole (he Honda as my parents drove a white Ford Cortina
at that stage)
- Driving without a license
- Driving at ludicrous speed using a motor vehicle
- Evading Ute law using an automated number plate changing mechanism
If you could provide a clearer indication as to why the "date of ofTence' i the xame as my
birthday, and why the vehicle make and type bears no resemblance to the number plate
listed on the infringement notice, it would be appreciated Mind you, I wouldn't be too
disappointed if we agreed to le; th:s one go. I could really use the SI 20 dollars as I'm
lowering my Nissan, installing an excessively noiy waste-gate and boring it nut for
better performance in the street drags down Te Irirangi drive and around Weymouih.
Think yoj for considering my submission, 1 look forward to heating from you.
Regards.
ustin Lcc
Encl. Copy of infringement notice N3735700
Now Zomtmnd
30 March 2004
Justin Lee
46 David Avenue
Manurcwa
AUCKLAND
Dear Sir

Infringomont Notice: PN 3735700
I refer to your correspondence regarding the above infringement notice.
After careful consideration of your comments and the circumstances
surrounding the issue of this notice, rt has been decided on this occasion to
waive tne offence. Accordingly, you are no longer required to pay the
nfringement fee.
Yours larthfully

for Senior Sergeant Bryan Heatoy
Manager Adjudication
ae/rg'
S.irer Communlflri
NCW ZXA1AMO FOOCi (WMMOKMCMT UMAW
275-ttJ O4M Svtet Weftngton. N** ZNiftt. *O Bom f 147. VWkngtor
OOOO
 
2004-05-06 02:19:43 PM
Can someone please tell me what the name of the 26th month is again?

You do realize it's actually January 26, 2004, right?
 
HTH
2004-05-06 02:20:15 PM
Of course, model years will differ.



Other Nissan Bluebird SSS 510s (1967).
 
2004-05-06 02:27:33 PM
seems the OCR didn't have everything.. but you can't polish a turd..
 
2004-05-06 02:40:01 PM
Consular_Jedi,

I'm in OC (hey neighbor!) and seem to have had the opposite experience. My one CHP experience was pretty good - female cop with a good attitude who, if I remember, let me off with a warning or maybe a fix-it ticket and seemed to have some respect for my car ('66 Mustang). The city cops I've dealt with, however, were mostly asses with chips (no pun intended) on their shoulders. Of course, this is Mission Viejo, the second safest city in the country, so I guess the cops don't have much else to do.
 
2004-05-06 03:35:39 PM
I submitted this a while ago with a funnier headline.
 
2004-05-06 03:35:40 PM
In the dink town where I live, the cops really have nothing better to do than to give out tickets. The crime rate is practically zero so the only thing they do is drive around, bored out of their skull just looking for anything to pull you over for.

I've gotten tickets for window tinting, loud stereo, not using turn signals, speeding (of course), changing lanes too soon before or after an intersection, etc. etc. etc. Just stupid crap that I've never been pulled over for when I lived in Phoenix.

"Let's move to a small town.. Everybody is so much nicer there", my wife says. Yeah, right.
 
2004-05-06 03:51:59 PM
WTF?
There really is a Honda Saloon? I thought the cop had written the word "sedan" badly.

What's next, the Kia Tittie Bar?
 
2004-05-06 03:58:51 PM
The last ticket I got was for careless driving in Portland in 7/2003. I got a reduculous court of 4/9/2004, almost 8 months later. Meanwhile, the legislature passed a fine increase which doubled the fine for my infraction retroactivly. I got to court and was first on the docket. The judge comes up and announces the bad news about the fines, then calls my case. The officer never showed. My case was dismissed, and people were high-fiving me on the way out of court. Best traffic court experience I have ever had by far.

Another time a lady cop pulled me over after I accidentally cut her off. I was driving my 1950 Chevy pickup and didn't see her. She checked me out and told me to leave my turnsignal on longer next time, and let me go.
 
2004-05-06 04:01:47 PM
That was farking great.

If he did that in the states the cops would come to his house and pistol-whip him.
 
2004-05-06 04:08:06 PM
I've gotten tickets for window tinting, loud stereo, not using turn signals, speeding (of course), changing lanes too soon before or after an intersection, etc.



Is this you RivyBeAsT?
 
2004-05-06 04:19:55 PM
statmanBBB:

You know it! I be straight ballin' with da bling bling in my drop-top 'Bring!
 
2004-05-06 04:46:14 PM
Yellowstone

Yep. You'll love it, it's heading into winter here now of course. So you'll have to make your sweet love down by the fire.

South Island is better than North Island.
 
2004-05-06 04:46:14 PM
Yellowstone

Yep. You'll love it, it's heading into winter here now of course. So you'll have to make your sweet love down by the fire.

South Island is better than North Island.
 
2004-05-06 04:49:45 PM
Didn't bother to read most of the above posts, but almost the same thing happened to me. I got a ticket in Jan. 2003, and the cop accidentally wrote "2002" on the ticket. The DMV promptly notified me that I had an unpaid ticket for over a year, and that they were suspending my liscense. Thankfully, I was able to call the DMV, get my 50 bucks refunded, and the ticket taken off my record. w00t. Turns out that if a cop makes any mistakes on the ticket at all, at least in DC, it doesn't count.
 
2004-05-06 04:56:56 PM
When you get stopped, how many of you have had the cops ask for passenger's ID?

It's happened to me a couple times now. 1st time was around 10pm. I'm riding in the back of a friends car, half asleep when the State Trooper comes knocking on my window asking to see my ID. After I give it to him and he runs it thru his system, he comes back and asks me to roll up my sleeves to see my arms. Not seeing what he was looking for, he gives my friend a ticket for doing 69 in a 65 zone and we go.

2nd time, it was around 2am. I'm driving my cargo van home from a late night pickup hockey game when a female city cop pulls me over and asks to see my passenger's ID (another girl who had played that night). She comes back and claims she clocked me doing 69 in a "clearly marked 35." Now, there's a speed limit change from 50 to 35, and there's no sign until you get past the point where she says she got me doing 69, which we both tell her. I then ask her to look at the vehicle...there's no way it can get up to nearly 70mph without difficulty. Lady cop goes back to her car (still with my our licenses) and we start getting nervous. When she finally comes back, she tells me that she's giving me some kind of "in-city courtesy bullshiat and lets us finally go.

JT
/no point - just felt like ranting
 
2004-05-06 05:02:41 PM
RivyBeAsT

The solution is simple...you simply need to create something else for the cops to do...either open a 24 hr donut shopppe or become a serial killer.
 
HTH
2004-05-06 05:28:30 PM
wbgraphic

Yes, there is a Honda Saloon. In other news, there really was a Ford Prefect.

Foreign market cars get different names which can sound odd to those in other markets.

Everyone else, there are also text versions of this story hosted elsewhere. Google some of the phrases and you'll find at least two.
 
2004-05-06 05:29:39 PM
JT_Goalie, I've heard of that happening to other people. The law may vary from state to state and I'm not a Lawyer, but I don't think the passenger has to give ID (you don't need ID to ride in a car). I think it is something they often do to young people/other select profile targets to see if they have any warrants, etc. If the person has an unopened six pack on their lap then they may be able to check to see if the person is 21, other than that it is kind of "Let me see your papers". Even if you have nothing to hid, politely refuse. Know your rights & protect them.
 
2004-05-06 05:41:09 PM
enough with the "priceless" parodies/taglines, fack.
 
2004-05-06 05:44:45 PM
For you California drivers out there who manage to get tangled up with the cops and get a moving violation, check out: http://www.ticketassassin.com
 
2004-05-06 06:18:58 PM
Didn't see any popups.

/Crazybrowser
 
2004-05-06 08:00:10 PM
While the letter was amusing it was unnessecary.
If they make and error on the infringement notice you get off, especially the date.
 
2004-05-06 08:48:10 PM
Nah exposing and deleting idiot cops in the NZPF badly necessary. Right now there getting paid $40-60K (upper income bracket) for tax collection, so anyone that can't fill out a form properly should be turfed out on there arse ASAP.
 
2004-05-07 12:02:57 AM
a little late but count me in:
I agree with EMP. That is a work of art.
 
2004-05-07 01:17:06 AM
That is old and boring. Welcome to a couple of months ago.

Also, Wandarah, which part of Auckland are you in? I'm on the North Shore myself.
 
2004-05-07 01:22:30 AM
i read this yesterday, got a ticket today. ironic and terrible at the same time.
 
SJ
2004-05-07 02:43:03 AM
Being from New Zealand, and per chance actually from South Auckalnd Im having to say, Holy shiat bro! good one!! roflmao! KeOra!
 
2004-05-07 08:22:59 PM
Got outta a ticket in Buckley, WA for the exact same reason. Didn't write a smart ass letter, just went to traffic court and told 'em I thought it was a significant enough clerical error to void the ticket. They agreed.

But first they made everyone strip and get into a big pile.
 
2004-05-07 09:03:04 PM
justanotherfarkinfarker, somehow I would bet that in the US they can require passengers to show ID these days. Sounds like just the thing that would fall under a Homeland Security reg.
 
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