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(Portland Mercury)   All about Skate Church in Portland. "Dude, the punishment that Jesus suffered--that punishment was totally gnarly."   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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2742 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2002 at 10:37 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

46 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-01-05 10:55:36 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-05 10:58:11 AM  
2002-01-05 11:06:53 AM  
Frontside crucifix grind
2002-01-05 11:07:32 AM  
I prefer the christian porn theatre. Praise jebus, pass me a tissue.
2002-01-05 11:16:03 AM  
They need that big "Buddy Christ" statue from "Dogma."
2002-01-05 11:23:24 AM  
Refering to Christ as "Sick"...errrr??
2002-01-05 11:42:03 AM  
Reminds me of Ramayana as told by an ABCD (American Born Confused Desi)...
2002-01-05 11:45:19 AM  
"Hi diddly ho skater"
2002-01-05 11:48:35 AM  
i loved the articles header:
the big Tony Hawk in the sky
2002-01-05 12:11:46 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

The Jews have suffered long enough at the hands of cartoonists.
2002-01-05 12:14:47 PM  
"Basically, I was a pretty troubled kid. I was a real potty mouth, I smoked cigarettes, I had relationships with girls. And I was really unhappy."

2002-01-05 12:52:26 PM  
We have a skate park at our church here in Wilmington. But we dont force our religion on the kids. We do play Christian alternative music all the time at the park. Its really a good way to show kids they can be spirtiual and have fun.
2002-01-05 01:09:57 PM  
They still use the word "gnarly"?

I mean, I understand what they're trying to do, but cool it with the slang.
2002-01-05 01:44:54 PM  
Well, I can say one thing for sure: Once that kid becomes a bible-thumping freak, he won't have to worry about having "relationships with girls" anymore.
2002-01-05 02:08:15 PM  
I think it sounds pretty damn cool...about time some of these churches got of their asses and started making it fun for youths...God knows the youth of today need some sort of guidance and if this works then I am all for it.
2002-01-05 02:09:34 PM  
Oh..and no I am not a bible basher!!!!!

just think it might help get kids in line again :)
2002-01-05 02:44:37 PM  
"We have a skate park at our church here in Wilmington. But we dont force our religion on the kids. We do play Christian alternative music all the time at the park."

Don't you see the obvious contradiction, there, you brainwashed xtian loon? If you weren't pushing your mythology on them, you'd play something that wasn't xtian music at all. Typical religio circular logic.
2002-01-05 02:53:46 PM  
KOR Damn right.
2002-01-05 03:23:34 PM  
Korzeniowski: Whats wrong? Afraid to even spell the word "Christ" out?
Arguing about religion on the internet is a waste of time. Either you get it or you dont.
Ill be praying for you brother.

Ozzie: My brother runs the skate park at my church and I think it is awesome cause he makes being a Christian look cool. Im very pround of him.

There I have said my peace...
2002-01-05 03:29:21 PM  
hey no argument from me..I think its great..
with a bit of luck it just might change a few would have been criminals or rapists or whatever...and what a fun way to go about it..the kids would love it I am sure.

Best of luck to your Bro.
2002-01-05 03:30:38 PM  
Like Bisifiniti said... the slang has got to go. It pisses me off to no extent when I'm out skating in the city and I hear "Dude, brah... skate or die you gnarly dude! Tubular!" I've been skating for 17 of my 27 years on this planet and have never spoken like that, nor have I ever met anyone that spoke like that. Its a stereotype, and its got to go.

Luckily for Portland, there are a few places to skate (I plan on making a trip to Burnside this year) where you can skate without fear of religious soldiers aiming at your lost souls. I think the park is a great idea... if Christians want to go and segregate themselves from a secular society, let them... they have that right.

One more note: skateboarding is a sport that has as much validity as any other sport you may stay home to watch on Monday nights. It's not "Xtreme" either, its just different than what most people are used to watching. How is it that snowboarding (a comparatively new derivative of skateboarding) gets to boast the status of being an Olympic sport yet skaters are left out... an oddity at best?

Sorry for the rant.
2002-01-05 03:32:03 PM  
Pray away, loon. You failed to address my point, made a strawman argument, and lamed me out. Recent scientific studies show prayer does *nothing* to help the sick or injured, in controlled tests, so don't waste your time. Your beliefs are pure mythology.

Xtian? Got a problem with that? Go complain to hallmark for all the cards with 'xmas' on them.
2002-01-05 03:43:14 PM  
I agree with son skates and he don't use all that shiatty talk either..and it is such a pitty that this sport is not more widely recognized...

as far as the christian skate park goes..I thought any of the kids could use it weather they are religous or not???
2002-01-05 03:55:26 PM  
Ozzie_Pride: Yeah, anyone can go to the park, but they have to sit through a sermon... that's fine if you're someone that
A: Is a Christian
B: Is looking for a religion.

Personally, I'm not going to sit through a church service just to skate. There are no non-Christian parks out there that make you sit through a secular-humanist rant before skating (if they did, I wouldn't go there either).

It's a private park and they can do whatever they want, but I'm not one to be preached to... especially if the minister chooses to use "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" speak.
2002-01-05 03:55:35 PM  
the slang has got to go. It pisses me off to no extent when I'm out skating in the city and I hear "Dude, brah... skate or die you gnarly dude! Tubular!

I submitted this story with the headline:
Skaters railslide pearly gates. God not amused.
Glad to see you guys are calling Drew on this one.
That headline sucked!!!
2002-01-05 03:59:43 PM  
Oh well thats pretty sad if they are made to sit through a service in order to utilize the skate park...but hey who am I to judge...different strokes for different folks I guess.
2002-01-05 04:27:40 PM  
Ahhh, my home sweet crazy-ass Portland. Gotta love that Portland Mercury. Reporting on what's important. The Skate Church has been around forever, I wonder why it took so long for someone to write about it? The place is pretty farkin cool, even if all the people there talk like they're still living in 1994.

P.S. Jeebus, NCQT, 'x', is a non-offensive, latin form of abbreviating the word 'christ.' Go look it up on Snopes, they explain it well.. ya freakin' religious alarmist.
2002-01-05 04:34:16 PM  
I'd prefer those damn kids pissing on that church than the side of MY house.
2002-01-05 04:49:06 PM  
Portland Mercury is a ray of Portland *SunshinE*. Makes my week a funnier place and it's free! Can't beat free. Unless, they paid me to read it.

Never been to the skate church. Mt. Hood is my skate church. I pray for snow in the pagan church of Pabst Blue Ribbon. ahhhhh....... beer @1:48 in the afternoon. I luv portland.
2002-01-05 05:37:53 PM  
_ That's farked up! Where did you get that? I read Sinfest daily, so I recognized the strip, but I didn't know someone was redoing it as an anti-semitic bullshiat. Wonder if Tatsuya knows...

2002-01-05 05:44:09 PM  
I suppose if you want to brainwash a whole new generation of youth and take their, I mean get them interested in church, you need to make them think that Jesus is gnarly ...uhh...dude. I can't imagine WTF 'Christian Alternative' could possibly be. Like, Soundgarden about God? Dude? I'm surprised the Catholics haven't thought of that - a great place for the priests to scope out new altarboys, if you know what I mean....
2002-01-05 05:50:09 PM  
Speaking of Altar Boys, there was a great Christian punk band in the 80's by that name. They rocked.
2002-01-05 05:56:12 PM  
wasn't this place on the daily show?
2002-01-05 05:56:47 PM  
I don't get it everyones all biatching because they don't like that the kids have to sit through a sermon or whatever. Who cares I mean if the kids wanna put up with it fine. If they don't they don't have to go it's not like this is a public building and they don't know where they're going. I mean what kind of dumbass goes (forgive the slang but,) "Dude let's go check out that new skate park at the church!" Other skater guy "Think they'll make us hear about god?" first guy "nah it's for skaters man they wouldn't" WTF it's at a church for Christ's sake...pun intended. If you don't like it as don't have to go the same arguement that man people use when christian groups gripe about to much this or that on tv. "You don't like it don't watch" Why doesn't this arguement work in reverse? Just because it's a church that means that it's not allowed the same defense as a TV show. Bleak. Who cares, as long as they ain't in my face more power to them. I personally wouldn't go but then I'm not a skater.

The Big Dawg
2002-01-05 06:31:50 PM  
another alternative in portland is 'the bridge'. i like to call it punk church. spikey hair, tattoos, peircings are as common on the pastors as they are on the 'parishoners'. its a great option for anyone, mostly youth, who don't want a traditional conservative church but desire some sort of faith community. and the live bands are pretty cool.
2002-01-05 06:38:32 PM  
jesus freaks are scary. *(not all christians)* but the ones that insist on telling you you need god in your life. like you could say "damn, i have this zit that will not go away" or something stupid like that and he/she will look at you with this crazy gleam in their eye and say you know if you had the good lord in your life, he would not punish you with those zits. ok, if i wanted a big sermon i would go to church, dammit.
on the other hand, they are pretty funny. i sometimes watch the televangelist channel just to watch them fake cry and to see that lady with ton of make-up and the 2 wigs on her head. one time i watched it high with some friends, i thought i would die laughing. you should try it.
2002-01-05 07:16:19 PM  
"It was a night that Gerald gave a talk," he says. "It was about heaven and hell, what they would both be like, and all of a sudden, the whole message made sense to me."

Yeah right the whole message made sense to you! It made sense that you didn't want to go to the hell (which I'm sure Gerald gave a pretty vivid description of). And that you did want to go to this heaven place. This quote puts into perfect perspective the reasons that christians continue to exist: fear.
2002-01-05 07:18:09 PM  
"For Gerald, these young, lost souls--willing to do anything to skate--create perfect candidates for conversion."
2002-01-05 08:11:27 PM  
Sinfest is awesome, one of the few online comics I read.

BTW _, where'd you get that one? That one's pretty er...harsh...
2002-01-05 09:02:38 PM  
And I suppose you have answers to all of life's little questions Mittenman?
2002-01-05 09:57:43 PM  
Recent scientific studies show prayer does *nothing* to help the sick or injured

- Read CS Lewis' The Efficacy of Prayer
2002-01-05 10:03:33 PM  
Well, great. Just shows that if you can't get people to believe in God through fear, you can do it with bribery.
2002-01-05 10:49:27 PM  
Um... this guy smoked and swore and banged when he was a KID? Cool, except that this just proves: Jesus ruins fun.
2002-01-06 02:43:29 AM  
"Come one, come all to my Skate Mosque, opening tomorrow in Portland."
2002-01-06 03:52:51 AM  
OK, maybe I've had WAY too much to drink tonight...

But the senior citizens who were "peeing outside, desecrating church property, smoking pot" could be due to the "large bowl occupying half the floor space". So what kind of pipe do they smoke a bowl that big in?
2002-01-06 09:35:02 AM  
gnarly is a very kool word. they say it in the Goonies!
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