ArcadianRefugee, what makes you think it hasn't already happened? Maybe he did come back and got his skull bashed in for preaching love.
Personally if the God stuff is true, I'd like to see him come back, born of the Virgin Marie, somewhere in France. That should frustrate the Puritans some.

RadioactiveApe:
"TO ALL THE STUPID ATHEISTS IN THIS THREAD:

IF IT WASN'T FOR JESUS YOU WOULD ALL BE SPEAKING LATIN!!!"

I REALLY do hope that this was a poorly guided attempt at humor... I'm NOT an athiest, yet I am still offended by the sheer magnitude of the ignorance on display here...

I like this one: Rep. Pete Sessions, R-Texas,[said of McDermott] "he and those like him stand more for the liberal left than they do for our friends and neighbors,"

So if your friends and neighbors ARE the "liberal left" then... uh... error: tilt?

"And once again wars of religions are ready to devastate Europe. Boheman, leader and agent of a new sect of "purified" Christianity, has just been arrested in Sweden, and the most disastrous plans were found among his papers. The sect to which he belonged is said to want nothing less than to render itself master of all the potentates of Europe and their subjects. In Arabia new sectarians are emerging and want to purify the religion of Mahomet. In China even worse troubles, still and always motivated by religion, are tearing apart the inside of that vast empire. As always it is gods that are the cause of all ills."

Diary of the Marquis de Sade, quoted by Abdelwahab Meddeb in The Malady of Islam

B.P.

Every important character in the Bible from Abraham to Jesus was a jew. Why aren't you?

palexc:
"HotWingConspiracy
Careful, you'll futher irriate the fundies by proposing that Jesus was *gasp* BLACK!"

Last I checked, Jesus wasn't black OR white. He was ARAB. He probably look alot like... well... modern day arabs.
*Is "arabs" unPC? If so, I apologize; I don't know what other discription to use.*

WASHINGTON -- Rep. Jim McDermott, a Washington Democrat who criticized President Bush while visiting Baghdad, omitted the words "under God" as he led the House in reciting the Pledge of Allegiance this week.

McDermott is the represenative for my district, and I'm proud of it. More politicians should speak out for what they believe and challenge the system like he does on many occasions.

IF IT WASN'T FOR JESUS YOU WOULD ALL BE SPEAKING LATIN!!!

And if it wasn't for the French, you Americans would be British subjects.

I pledge allegiance to Queen Frag and her mighty state of hysteria...

-Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

Fun_Blame_Monster

Would you consider sending a copy of that treaty to your congressmen and maybe 1600 pensylvania avenue?

Politics AND religion? Dry leaves and gasoline couldn't be bait for a bigger flame war.

That being said, if the Democrats are godless, I'm going with Republicans

D9Grey - "Hippie" in this case is one who is iconoclastic, just for the sake of being different, one who "strives for social change" only on the weekends. Also maddox = far from Christian. http://maddox.xmission.com (suck at linking)

Blame Monster "I've never heard any Christians complain that they are celebrating the birth of their God on the birthdate of another God."

Is there anything like godwin for someone sidetracking the issue? No matter its origin ITS STILL A RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY... you nit wit. All I'm saying is that if you would like to continue to protest two words that are not mandatory to say, at least remove your head from your ass and support your cause completely.

It is what it is, so respect it for that and recite it correctly. If you don't believe in what it says, then refuse to recite it.
Soon (very soon, I imagine), those "terrible-horrible" words will find their way out to pasture. Until then, don't make too much of a show out of it.
But then again, anyone who is really getting worked up over the exclusion of these trivial words is REALLY pushing the envelope.

What if the phrase were "one white-only nation?" Then you could tell blacks and anyone else who was offended by the words to simply not recite them either. How well do you think that would go over?

Just leave the pause in so that everyone who wants to say it can say it, and anyone who doesn't isnt' forced to. It's like at thanksgiving dinner; i sit quietly while everyone says grace. It's not a big deal. it's called tolerence, and believe it or not, most people would like Under God to stay in.

fark the knee jerk assholes that did not respect the original pledge. Real conservatives like myself respect tradition and not crap pulled by little biatches scared by commies.

crazyjim
That being said, if the Democrats are godless, I'm going with Republicans

"Accept my mortal words oh gods of Olympus! Neptune! Release the Kraken!!"

/obscure. 10,000 points if you're crescent fresh enough to know.

But seriously, should it matter "how Christian" our politicians are? Should our politicians' religions even be considered?

Probably been said (this thread could reach Bagdad if printed) but I like Robin Williams idea:

"One Nation, Under Candada, Above Mexico, with liberty and justice for all"

It is what it is, so respect it for that and recite it correctly.

And don't add religious phrases to it against the wishes of the writer.

All I'm saying is that if you would like to continue to protest two words that are not mandatory to say, at least remove your head from your ass and support your cause completely.

Most of my friends are pagan. Are you implying that they have to forsake the right to celebrate their Yule holiday to gain the right to protest being forced to honor your god in the pledge?

2004-04-28 09:48:29 PM Fun_Blame_Monster

I spend my christmas opening presents, eating turkey, and farking your wife also. :)

Zod on "The Pledge Of Allegiance"



Hello my slaves. You may have heard that "the pledge of allegiance" was recently declared unconstitutional. But do you pathetic mortals know the real reason behind this? It is because there was an error in the wording of it, not because some judge (whom I did not appoint) declared it so. Allow me to show you:

"And to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God."

Yes, a serious typographical error indeed. It should have read, "One planet under ZOD!" Now the person who wrote this is already dead, so I cannot punish him for his defiance. However, since I never allow any defiance to go unpunished, I will kill any living relatives of this foolish human. This naturally includes children, their pets, and the children of said pets. And let this be a lesson to anybody who dares to recite the pledge with the wrong words...

Anyone who is caught reciting the pledge incorrectly shall be destroyed.

Now, with that being said, I am most displeased with how your "news media" has been reporting this situation. They speak of separation of the church and state, but they do not even speak of me. Is this how your "media" functions? Do they always report such blatant inaccuracies? If that is the case, then perhaps this explains why your planet was so easy to conquer. Is there no one here who can challenge me!? The church and state are no longer, there is only ZOD!

The time has come for you all to learn the truth about what is going on. The truth is that the defiant "media" has been shielding your fragile minds from what will become your new daily routine. You WILL be required to recite what your "media" refers to as "the pledge of allegiance", only it will not be called that. I call it "The Pledge Of Eternal Loyalty To The Greatest And Most Powerful Ruler In The History Of The Universe, General Zod". Now, here is how it will be spoken:

I pledge allegiance to General Zod
because he now rules Planet Houston
And to Non and Ursa
who stand beside him to carry out his glorious rule
One planet
Under Zod
With slavery and injustice for all

This is how it should have been recited from the start. Not only will all "students" be required to say this when they arrive at "school", but so will all humans on earth immediately after they wake up from their mortal slumbers. Speaking of which, some of you haven't been kneeling during your sleep. If any of you are seen "sleeping" without kneeling, your existence shall be erased. Now, as I said, all humans will be required to say this "pledge" when they wake, before they eat, before they drive their automobiles, before they sleep, and of course... while they kneel. So in essence, there will no longer be discussion between humans. All verbal energies will be used for the pledge. You are to recite this pledge every waking moment of your existence.

And yes, I am aware that your primitive species requires a "flag" to pledge eternal loyalty to since I cannot stand before each and every one of you. So, I have created a new flag for the inhabitants of planet Houston to pledge to:



Magnificent isn't it? Dark, daunting, and awe inspiring... it has many of the qualities which I possess. From this day forth, you shall all make your "Pledge Of Eternal Loyalty To The Greatest And Most Powerful Ruler In The History Of The Universe, General Zod" as you kneel before this flag.

The "Constitution" is no more. Failure to recite this pledge every waking moment of your life is not deemed Unconstitutional. No, instead, it shall be considered unZodstitutional, and such an act of defiance will result in your immediate demise.

Zod Bless America.


KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

And for the slow of thinking like yourself

Hey! Ummm, I think, uh, your brain's the one with the, uh, candy shell.

dang. too late for this one I guess. I still wonder WHICH god this is supposed to be tho.

Hey, Zod, in exchange for being made king of Australia, I offer the following seal made in a photoshop contest a year ago:

My point: the holiday wasn't originally a Christian holiday so no Christian is celebrating the true meaning of Dec. 25th (aka Mithra's birthday).

One could argue that Mithra's birthday isn't the original meaning, either. After all, there were Sun worshippers before the Jehovians and Mithraists, and the "rebirth" of the Sun three days after its "death" at the Solstice is a pretty old concept.

/Did Jesus find Buddha before he died?

2004-04-28 09:52:35 PM Kneel_Before_ZOD

oh my lord, i'm dying over here

Sloth DC's argument = "Holay shiate?! You mean if I wish to completely remove religion from government, and truly have separation of church and state, ON WHICH MY ENTIRE FARKING ARGUMENT IS BASED, I can't even leave in the ones I think are cool/exotic?"

FBM - Mithra -> Iranian God -> God -> Religion? read above until you get it

Fun_Blame_Monster
Clash of the Titans...

No. They didn't say that in Clash of the Titans. Though to your credit they were referencing that movie.

It was an obscure and amazingly awesome (though short-lived) TV show in the late 90's (though it spawned the apparently now-popular song United States of Whatever as a skit), so don't feel bad that you don't know.

I still worship Ra. The apparent appearance of the earth as round is a ploy to confuse the faithful, perpetrated on them by Loki. Everyone knows the earth is really flat (ok actually dish shaped, it's got a LITTLE thickness)

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: Are you talking about the Syphyl & Ollie Show?

...and I probably spelled Siffil wrong. Oh well.

GW_Diesel

Sifl & Olly, yes :)

/10,000 points to autopsybeverage

Don't be so quick to award me, I was going to guess Clash of the Titans too, but I got beat to the wrong answer... I have but dim memories of MTV's sock puppets.

Henchmen

You shall be rewarded for your reverence...

I name you King of Australia.

You shall return Australia to the penal colony it once was. I have a slave named BUSH who has earned a life of torment for his defiance.

autopsybeverage
It's all good. Thanks to Kazaa I'm blissfully living in the past, often forgetting that the rest of the world has moved on ;)

Sloth DC's argument = "Holay shiate?! You mean if I wish to completely remove religion from government, and truly have separation of church and state, ON WHICH MY ENTIRE FARKING ARGUMENT IS BASED, I can't even leave in the ones I think are cool/exotic?"

Dude... I see where you're coming from, except that people aren't forced to celebrate Christmas, or Mithramas, or Yule. The government is closed because so many of their people are of faiths that celebrate at that time of year, they wouldn't have enough staff to stay open otherwise. They didn't pass a law saying, "This holiday shall henceforth be known as Christmas, and you must celebrate the birth of the King of the Jews instead of the Sun God." No, they just let you take the day off. They don't even force you to take the day off. Compare that to the pledge, where they inserted religious words which are antithical to the intent of the pledge, and they put incredible pressure on kids to stand up and recite this screed. Telling me I have to protest the unfettered day off - and, incidentally, I'm usually the one who works all the Christian holidays so that I can take vacation time elsewhen - in order to protest the forced religious indoctrination makes no sense. Look at the funny monkey.

Either that, or I'm just over-tired from watching this never-ending farking customer update. Oh, hey, they finally finished reindexing - I'm outta here. Have a good night all.

I'll check for your reply in the morning, mwe.

B.P.

Every important character in the Bible from Abraham to Jesus was a jew. Why aren't you?

I'm not an important character in the Bible?

/answers the tough questions

All I have to say is that if the Democrats take an "absolutely no religion in government" stance, they've got my vote.

Religion is what's wrong with this world.

Declares "lots"

Religion is what's wrong with this world.

People are what's wrong with this world.

Feel free to take any Atheist head of state as an example. Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot. They seemed to do prety poorly without religion driving their deeds.