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(AP)   It's not your father's gonorrhea anymore   (foxnews.com) divider line 100
    More: Scary  
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28068 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2004 at 2:13 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



100 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2004-04-26 02:52:48 PM  
If it doesn't cause warts, then what are the symptoms of Herpes?

Open, weeping lesions on the affected area.
 
2004-04-26 02:53:40 PM  
Seneca Doane: Thanks for the PSA but I know what me in the night means. A good budy of mine told me he had it a while back, the only thing I could think of was that I was glad I never nailed any of his girlfriends/ex-gfs.
 
2004-04-26 02:53:57 PM  
1 out of 5 people have herpes! That's it I'm finding me a clean woman and I'm going to make her my wife.
 
2004-04-26 02:59:08 PM  



It is estimated that as many as one in four Americans have genital herpes, yet at least 80 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it


lucky for us it's not fatal
 
2004-04-26 03:00:31 PM  
Well, I'm flummoxed. Shall we just call it a species then?
 
2004-04-26 03:02:55 PM  
Harmful bacteria are a sign of God's love.
 
2004-04-26 03:08:15 PM  
Bobfromaccounting had a great line when they annouced Courtney Love as "The ambassador to the island nation of Gonorrhea"

/hey It's gonorreha, you gotta mention either Danny Bonaduci or Courtney Love
 
2004-04-26 03:09:37 PM  
tr!pps: Sure you'd say that Captain T, or should I say Mr.Superflu.

/damn that book had a lot a pages...
 
2004-04-26 03:12:57 PM  
A rash of cases among men ...

Figures. Stupid F-ing men. Why can't men keep their shlongs in their pants?!

/oh, hello there fella...how'd you get out? Well, since your out already, where's the boobies thread?
 
2004-04-26 03:13:41 PM  
kerouac555 You aren't missing much.
 
2004-04-26 03:14:18 PM  
Did anyone else read 'goneawhorinyeah'?
 
2004-04-26 03:14:42 PM  
"Instead, Klausner said, the CDC is expected to recommend the use of the antibiotic ceftriaxone, which is less convenient because it is administered through shots rather than pills."

GOOD. The biggest cause of this kind of thing (drug resistent diseases) is that people don't complete their perscriptions. The doctor says to take so many pills, but people stop after the symptoms go away.

Just because the rash is gone doesn't mean you're cured. All youve done is kill most of the infection, leaving the stronger, more resistant ones alive to reproduce and spread.

Ten years or so later, and all that's left is the kind that's immune to the medication. Congratulations, bonehead.

Maybe if they have to see a doctor for regular injections they'll get the complete treatment that is required.
=Smidge=
 
2004-04-26 03:14:44 PM  
And Victorinox wins a cookie for guessing one of the sources of my name.
/owns a denim jacket, but it lacks buttons
 
2004-04-26 03:21:32 PM  
LawTalkingGuy, did you just leave the dry ashes in a pile, or did you add water to them to see if his body would reconstitute?
 
2004-04-26 03:24:03 PM  
Sorry, I don't kiss and tell.
 
2004-04-26 03:26:27 PM  
damn, i thought i was going to get some good tips from you.

oh, well. at least i can still go see your grandma after work.

she doesn't have gonhorrea, does she? just the same old syph, right?
 
2004-04-26 03:27:24 PM  
The article says that it has been found in men... no mention of women... duh?
 
2004-04-26 03:29:55 PM  
By the way when the herpes virus is activated the lesions are painful as anything and yes cold sores on the lips can be transmitted to your nether regions.. give up on 69, you cannot tell when a herpes carrier will infect you.
 
2004-04-26 03:35:33 PM  
How should I know? Read the release, like everyone else.
 
2004-04-26 03:36:17 PM  
Shortly after his liaison with the taco stand lady, Joe makes a horrible discovery...

Joe:
Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I dont want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
n grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the
Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt...when i
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?


/Zappa... once more proving that he was ahead of his time
 
2004-04-26 03:41:39 PM  
ugh. Damn, is it really THAT hard to use a condom??
 
2004-04-26 03:42:46 PM  
"From San Diego to Maine ... we've been watching it creep up since 2000. We had a sense of inevitability," Klausner said

These guys need something better to do than watch a buncha mens drippy faucets.
 
2004-04-26 03:44:03 PM  
5$ Me Farky Sarky - What is this condom you speak of?
 
2004-04-26 03:45:03 PM  
zerkalo thank you, I'll be adding that phrase to my daily vocabulary.
 
2004-04-26 03:53:26 PM  
Heaven forbid the Bush administration fund sex ed programs where kids are taught to use condoms.
 
2004-04-26 04:09:04 PM  
This stuff is why I lock my pants when I go out.
 
2004-04-26 04:09:50 PM  
An ex called. Told me I gave her genital warts. I didn't even know because my case was so mild and I must have defeated it quick. Course, the girl I was on top of last night wasn't too thrilled with my forthrightness. I can't stay up or cum with condoms so THAT sucks.

I miss the days when I didn't have a guttercock.
 
2004-04-26 04:10:24 PM  
[image from hadoa.org too old to be available]
 
2004-04-26 04:35:37 PM  
I recently read an article that said that 75% of women will get Human Papilloma Virus by the time they're out of college. HPV virus causes genital warts and can cause cervical cancer. Guys often get it too, but don't know they have it. It also said that condom use doesn't really guard against it. 75% of women is A LOT. That is so disgusting...shiat like this makes me happy I'm not single.

/NASTY!
 
2004-04-26 04:36:50 PM  
DanMcCaffrey: I can't stay up or cum with condoms so THAT sucks.

Stop masturbating. Eventually, you'll stay hard AND cum with a condom on. The most likely reason you can't now is because you've conditioned yourself. You'll get over it. You won't get over herpes.
 
2004-04-26 04:37:53 PM  
Put your jimmy-hats on, guys. More importantly, stay away from the sluts.
 
2004-04-26 04:39:29 PM  
"Stop masturbating. Eventually, you'll stay hard AND cum with a condom on. The most likely reason you can't now is because you've conditioned yourself. You'll get over it. You won't get over herpes."

Wrong! Condoms don't protect guys from herpes very well. It does help protect women though, so for that and many other reasons, dome it.
 
2004-04-26 04:40:45 PM  
2004-04-26 04:09:50 PM DanMcCaffrey
An ex called. Told me I gave her genital warts. I didn't even know because my case was so mild and I must have defeated it quick. Course, the girl I was on top of last night wasn't too thrilled with my forthrightness. I can't stay up or cum with condoms so THAT sucks.
I miss the days when I didn't have a guttercock.


While I want to say thats a little too much information, I'll also tell you that the stats on genital warts are unfarkingbelievable. When I was in school the numbers were 25% (or was it 50%?) of all college students had it, whether they knew it or not...
At any rate, dont feel like you gave her aids or anything, chances are she wouldve gotten it sooner or later...
 
2004-04-26 04:51:34 PM  
[image from free.inkfrog.com too old to be available]
 
2004-04-26 05:04:40 PM  
eavila
just when you think ackbar will never make you laugh again...
 
2004-04-26 05:07:22 PM  
"You won't get over herpes."

Doh! I misread this as "you won't ever get herpes." He's right, you won't ever get over herpes... best way to avoid it is to be judicious with who you choose to sleep with, because condoms don't protect guys from it very well. Sorry to repeat myself.
 
2004-04-26 05:49:57 PM  
GOOD. The biggest cause of this kind of thing (drug resistent diseases) is that people don't complete their perscriptions. The doctor says to take so many pills, but people stop after the symptoms go away.

I'd just like to say that based on my personal experiences with antibiotics, doctors are both LYING and SANCTIMONIOUS assholes. Sample conversation:

office_despot: I have a gastrointestinal intolerance of the following antibiotics (list as long as arm)
MD: how bad?
office_despot: it bounces back up still in pill form
MD: well, then I'll prescribe you this completely different antibiotic

next day in ER, office_despot still retching, with IV in arm to correct dehydration from not keeping anything down

office_despot: guess I can't take that one either
MD: now that I think of it, it's really close to that one thing you told me you can't take, and it makes 75% of people sick -- but I just thought I'd try it.

MD (writes in file):Patient didn't finish course of antibiotics.


So don't give me this crap that x% of people stop taking Cipro because they feel better. That stuff is rat poison.
 
2004-04-26 05:57:44 PM  
ewwwww. Not that I should get my stats from fark, but. . .

damn. WHY are we teaching out young women that farking around is "girl power." WHY are we teaching out young men that they should have fun and go sow their oats while in college or whatever??

This is entire generations of people with incurable, transmittable diseases because they wanted to have a three-second sneeze that could be achieved by other means.

Obesity in this country is skyrocketing becuase people refuse to put down the fork. and STDs are high because people cant keep their dicks in their pants or their legs closed. SELF CONTROL PEOPLE. SELF CONTROL.

yes, I realize that you can't get obese from eating one donut whereas you CAN get an STD from one bad choice about a sexual encounter, but the underlying concept of self control is still there.
 
2004-04-26 06:06:49 PM  
5$ Me Farky Sarky

As I said before, the sexual revolution has given us so much to be proud of, eh?

Why do people think that basically being a slut is a sign of possessing a "healthy attitude towards sex and the body" when it most certainly is NOT healthy? When the stupid-ass fundamentalist Christians are laughing at the stupid-ass sex-for-all liberals in the future, it'll be because all the stupid-ass sex-for-all liberals will be busy cleaning up the pus.
 
2004-04-26 06:31:41 PM  
"yes, I realize that you can't get obese from eating one donut whereas you CAN get an STD from one bad choice about a sexual encounter, but the underlying concept of self control is still there."

I feel pre-empted.
 
2004-04-26 06:33:22 PM  
Why is that STDs are (seemingly) all named after sea creatures?

"Man I got a scorchin case of the prawns"

/The cipro isn't helpin with these sea monkeys either
 
2004-04-26 06:37:20 PM  
I hate to sound like the Church Lady, but not an issue for me. My wife and I were virgins when we got together and have never been with anyone else. Not preaching at you, but abstenince is the only answer to STD's. The writers that talk about discipline are absolutely right. You can't fark anything that walks and not expect to pick something up.

One other thing. What is this crap about "being careful"? The majority of these STD's have either no symptoms for both sexes or one sex or another. There are plenty of uppper and middle class men and women walking around with these diseases even though they were "discreet". STD's are equal oppurtunity.
 
2004-04-26 06:44:24 PM  
maple

;-)
 
2004-04-26 06:48:31 PM  
Hehe, truce ;)

As for "being careful," this has more to do with personality. If the person seems like a possible liar/cheat, then it's possible that they are not forthcoming about things like having warts or herpes, or worse. Upper, middle, lower class doesn't matter...
 
2004-04-26 06:51:08 PM  
I'll bet you'd fark a person in the ass & not give him a reacharound!
/More Gunnery Sgt. Hartman
 
2004-04-26 07:40:35 PM  
"Heartbreak Ridge" is one of my favorite movies of all time. Other memorable quotes include;

"...it's my will against yours, and you will loose..." and
"... it's a cluster fark..." (edited of course).

One other thing - I want the person who develops the sure-fire method for discerning a persons' STD level by talking to them to post it here, because it will be the first. You are in deep denial if you think that by "being careful" or "only having relations with non-slutty people" that you will be able to avoid STD's. I go back to the college analogy. Most, (and I emphasize this word), people on college campuses are intellegent, discerning, and come from a background with better than average income. Now cross-check this with the fact that college campuses are crawling with STD infested people of both sexes and it is just not worth the risk. You don't have to be a slut to get a STD, and you don't have to be a slut to give one. Look at how many people in this forum are knocking on wood, (no pun intended), and thanking their lucky stars that they did not pick something up when they were sowing their "wild oats".

/self righteous rant
 
2004-04-26 08:57:02 PM  
Kiss anybody?

The contagion doesn't require genital contact.

Yeah, it is bad, no medicine, no cure, and new diseases emerging from every corner.
 
2004-04-26 10:51:28 PM  
Question - how many farkers do a mutual blood-screen with potential long-timers before moving off condoms and onto chemical birth control?
 
2004-04-27 04:13:55 AM  
12 year old girls

/why is a first-class ticket so much?
 
2004-04-27 11:24:00 AM  
rebby: how many farkers do a mutual blood-screen with potential long-timers before moving off condoms and onto chemical birth control?

/me raises hand
 
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