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(AP)   It's not your father's gonorrhea anymore   (foxnews.com) divider line 100
    More: Scary  
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28063 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2004 at 2:13 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-04-26 01:37:51 PM
No, it isn't (not that my father ever had gonorrhea). Now you can get it by riding on a tractor in your bathing suit.
 
2004-04-26 01:38:09 PM
Haha jokes on you super disease !
I'm married and we dont have sex, therefore I cant get it.

vote Quimby
 
2004-04-26 02:15:30 PM
Yeah, it's capitalized now.
 
2004-04-26 02:15:51 PM
Apparently, California and Hawaii had drug-resistant VD back when you were still at your mother's teat.

Yum.
 
2004-04-26 02:15:54 PM
Great headline!
 
2004-04-26 02:16:10 PM
Haha jokes on you super disease !
I'm married and we dont have sex, therefore I cant get it.


Ugh... that's better than gonorrhea?
 
2004-04-26 02:17:23 PM
Avoid the clap,
-Jimmy Dugan
 
2004-04-26 02:17:36 PM
That burns!
-- Elmo
(So, so sorry...)
 
2004-04-26 02:18:54 PM
What's next? I guess you'll just put your dick in and explode...
 
2004-04-26 02:18:58 PM


/Leon Phelps "The Ladies Man" surrenders
 
2004-04-26 02:20:43 PM

When your girlfriend is about to get your bone,
But it's leaking milky foam, gonerrhea, gonerrhea !


When you're about to take a pee,
And it feels like you're pissing potpourri, gonerrhea, gonerrhea !

 
2004-04-26 02:21:36 PM
Just in general -- I would SO much rather have injected antibiotics! The one time I was prescribed Cipro I barfed for hours. And doctors wonder why patients don't finish the course.... ugh.
 
2004-04-26 02:22:01 PM
I gave you gonorrhea because I thought you'd have fun with it!
 
2004-04-26 02:22:12 PM
I second what Dr. Knockboots said.
I'm married, and aint knockin any boots either.
 
2004-04-26 02:23:44 PM
Hahaha, Cipro works on freaking anthrax.
 
2004-04-26 02:24:36 PM
I went to the free clinic, it was filled to capacity
Now how bad can a piece of ass be?
Very bad, so I had to make the trip
and thank God, I didn't have the drips
I was there so a hoe couldn't gimme that
Just to get - twenty free jimmy hats
Now look who I see
Ain't that... yeah, that's the biatch from up the street!
With the big fat tail
who always told Cube to go to hell
She thought she was wiser
Now she's sittin in the waitin room, burnin like heat-mizer
Yeah I see ya
First Miss Thang, now Miss Gonorrhea
Man it's a trip how the world keeps turnin
It's 1991, and look who's burnin

/just and old fool from the old school
 
2004-04-26 02:26:09 PM
However, with ceftriaxone, patients must get a shot administered by a doctor or nurse

How is this a bad thing? It completely eliminates the problem posed by the farking idiots who take a few pills, feel better, fail to complete the course of treatment, and then pass on a resistant variant.
 
2004-04-26 02:26:54 PM
I've drank more beer, pissed more blood, and banged more quiff than all you numb-nuts put together

/Gunny Highway
 
2004-04-26 02:27:10 PM

"In recent years, the government has recommended ceftriaxone for treatment of gonorrhea only in Hawaii and California because of the growing number of Cipro-resistant cases in those states."


I'm going to have sex in Cali, in Cali, in Cali;
I'm going to have sex in Cali, Um, uh-uh, I don't think so.

 
2004-04-26 02:27:37 PM
DrunkenLimeyBastard

One of the best quotes ever.
 
2004-04-26 02:27:53 PM
I ask for the injection AND a course of Cipro.
 
2004-04-26 02:27:58 PM
I'm glad skinink remembers the lines.
 
2004-04-26 02:28:16 PM
"A rash of cases..." -- Nice!
 
2004-04-26 02:28:27 PM
Come on people... use a freakin' condom.
 
2004-04-26 02:28:46 PM
2004-04-26 02:18:54 PM Farkeologist
"What's next? I guess you'll just put your dick in and explode..."


Robin Williams just called to say he wants his joke back.
 
2004-04-26 02:29:12 PM
Galatians 6:7-8

That's all I'm sayin'.
 
2004-04-26 02:29:39 PM
Do many farkers have to worry about sexually transmitted disease?

/kidding
 
2004-04-26 02:30:17 PM
Drunken Limey -

THE BEST!

" so go home and rub your pathetic little peckers up against your girlfriend...or stick it in a knothole in a fence, because as of 08:00 tommorow, YOUR ASS IS MINE!"

/huge Heartbreak Ridge fan
 
2004-04-26 02:30:21 PM
Nice one Alexis. VD as a gift. A whole new glass is half-full approach.
Woman: "Hey jerk, you gave me crabs!"
Man: "You're welcome sweetie, take care of them."
Woman: "What the hell are you talking about?"
Man: "I've grown that little colony like they were my own children, I thought you'd like a gift I worked so hard on."

"Guy had crabs so bad we called him the Govenor of Maryland."

/exits, stage left.
 
2004-04-26 02:30:22 PM
ahector -

Can we start a support group together?
 
2004-04-26 02:30:39 PM
hmmm... The only way I'd get this shiat is if my right hand has been cheating on me.
 
2004-04-26 02:31:28 PM
The resistant gonorrhea has apparently spread eastward across the country. A rash of cases among men in Seattle, Chicago, New York and other areas in recent months prompted the CDC...

I love that health reporters aren't afraid to have a little fun with their writing.
 
2004-04-26 02:31:52 PM
2004-04-26 02:18:54 PM Farkeologist
"What's next? I guess you'll just put your dick in and explode..."


Robin Williams just called to say he wants his joke back.


Wasn't it Eddie Murphy?
 
2004-04-26 02:32:55 PM
A girl in my office has herpes. I found out accidently and now cannot look at her without envisioning a field of warts on her tumbleweed - it's unfair, I know. She's a great girl and her boyfriend is cool and all... I guess he's got it too and that's a factor that 'brought them together',... All I know is I'm AMAZED that I made it through the 80's without getting something...

[/relieved]
 
2004-04-26 02:34:28 PM
Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over.
 
2004-04-26 02:35:08 PM
i resent the implications of this headline.

i never had sex with my father.
 
2004-04-26 02:35:16 PM
"We're gonna be talkin' about the PENIS! We'll be talkin' about the VAGINA! Do you think that's funny, Butt-head? Do you find it amusing that we'll be talkin' about the TESTICLES? Yes, we're also gonna be talkin' about VENEREAL DISEASE! SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! And we will definitely be spending a lot of time talking about MASTURBATION!"
 
2004-04-26 02:36:37 PM
Sister pulls up to the Pearly Gates.
St.P filling out book. - And how did you die?
Gonorrhea.
St.P - Gonorrhea? You don't die from gonorrhea!
....when you gives it to a man like LeRoy you does...
/veal
 
2004-04-26 02:37:17 PM
OK, so I guess I am the only one who has ever screwed a whore...

Had it in my Eye, almost went blind.


Bad stuff man.
 
2004-04-26 02:37:23 PM
Maybe I'm really demented, but wouldn't Resistant Gonorrhea be a cool name for a band?
 
2004-04-26 02:38:18 PM
me in the night,

FYI, 31 million Americans have sexually contracted herpes. Consider that the American working public consists of about 150 million people, and you can safely assume that a fair number of your co-workers have the virus. Let's say there are 20 people in your office... you can assume that roughly 4 of your office mates are herpes carriers.

Also, herpes doesn't cause warts.

/doesn't have herpes, just hates that people are uninformed.
 
2004-04-26 02:38:51 PM
Joseph: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!
Detective John Kimble: Thanks for the tip.


Joseph: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!
Phoebe: [to Kimble] Well, you taught them the basics, that's important.
 
2004-04-26 02:42:35 PM
Now that I think about it, when I weigh the hassle of having gonorrhea against the prospect of having sex again, it really doesn't sound like that bad a trade-off.
 
2004-04-26 02:42:54 PM
2004-04-26 02:34:28 PM DrunkenLimeyBastard
Best.Movie.Ever

Just because my dad gave it to me, doesn't mean he doesn't have ownership anymore. Geez
 
2004-04-26 02:47:09 PM
Woke up fussin,
yellin and cussin.
Drip, drip, drippin
and pus, pus, pussin...

/kmd
 
2004-04-26 02:49:17 PM
Seneca Doane

Also, herpes doesn't cause warts.

Are you sure? If it doesn't cause warts, then what are the symptoms of Herpes?
 
2004-04-26 02:50:46 PM
In some cases (like mine) cipro can cause hallucinations, paranoia, suicial thoughts and fever. I got kicked out of college b/c this drug made me loco and I threatened to commit suicide. I spent the night having an out of body experience while wandering the woods, the po-po's were out looking for me for hours. This cure can be just as bad as the disease. No, I didnt have VD either.
 
2004-04-26 02:51:01 PM
So McAffee's and Norton don't handle this?

/is ceftriaxone a free D/L?
 
2004-04-26 02:51:15 PM
Seneca Doane:

Just checked the CDC page on it - the number is actually 45 million. Disturbing.
 
2004-04-26 02:52:34 PM
The sexual revolution sure gave us a lot to be proud of, eh?
 
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