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(Newsnet 5)   Teen caught stealing pr0n videos. Judge sentences him to stand blindfolded for 4 hours in front of the store   (newsnet5.com) divider line 64
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13369 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2004 at 10:05 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-04-22 10:07:00 PM
Great job, asshat.
 
2004-04-22 10:07:21 PM
Was he also forced to wear palm merkins?
 
2004-04-22 10:07:35 PM
If one is going to steal porn, do it well.
 
2004-04-22 10:08:03 PM
Why steal something you can get for free?
 
2004-04-22 10:08:27 PM
I guess this kid doesn't own a computer.
 
2004-04-22 10:09:10 PM
Heh...I guess masturbation really does make you go blind.
 
2004-04-22 10:12:11 PM
Heh...I guess masturbation really does make you go blind.

They say "Justice is Blind."

Hmm.
 
2004-04-22 10:13:42 PM
What a dumb punishment. The punishment oughta fit the crime. Make him look at pron similar to tubgirl and the pickle guy.
 
2004-04-22 10:13:46 PM
Haha, I had pictures in my head of some nervous little 13 year old who just needed a loan for a deposit into the spank bank who ended up getting railroaded by a crazy judge.

But if they are publishing this "teen's" name in a newspaper that means he has to be at least 18-19, right? Or is Ohio getting that messed up?
 
2004-04-22 10:14:54 PM
Holy shiat, he got 60 days in jail for that stunt? The poor S.O.B. is going to get a lot more than he bargained for than just watching "All Anal Action"...
 
2004-04-22 10:15:14 PM


Yessiree, those tools must be good for something.
 
2004-04-22 10:16:10 PM
Yeah, this guy does give out unusual sentances. I heard of one where some guy couldn't pay for some damages so he sentanced him to be the other guy's butler.

That would make a great TV show.
 
2004-04-22 10:16:44 PM
Is this punishment supposed to prove anything? Because I don't get it.
 
2004-04-22 10:17:09 PM
tin soldiers and teenager's fappin
he thinks he's all alone...
/finish the rest of the parody/
 
2004-04-22 10:17:46 PM
I imagine, FuzzyPinkMatrix, that it's a humiliation tactic.
 
2004-04-22 10:17:55 PM
The blindfold bit really isn't that bad. At least he won't have to see all the people laughing at his ass. It would have been funnier if the judge ordered him to stand out there wearing only a diaper.
 
2004-04-22 10:18:52 PM
aliendave:

Yeah, this guy does give out unusual sentances. I heard of one where some guy couldn't pay for some damages so he sentanced him to be the other guy's butler.

That would make a great TV show.


Is that customary in your legal system?
 
2004-04-22 10:20:08 PM
When the door opens a-crackin'
Judge Cicconetti is home!
"Boy you'd look sexy blindfolded", he's heard to say;
"Or serve prison time!" He had his way.
 
2004-04-22 10:21:28 PM
I hate these powermad, tiny-minded little judges who think they're so badass because they can make people do embarrassing things. It's a sign of borderline personality disorder, if you ask me.
 
2004-04-22 10:26:35 PM
Caught red-handed...
 
2004-04-22 10:26:59 PM
Bet the judge is an even bigger porn freak...
 
2004-04-22 10:36:42 PM
kid probably tried to steal the only copy of the judge's favorite movie...
 
2004-04-22 10:38:38 PM
FarQuit: Apparently, according the the article linked from this article, this same judge sentenced a guy who was convicted of causing false fire alarms: "21-year-old Kevin Yeckel of Madison was sentenced to ring a bell at several fire stations, and apologize in person to firefighters for wasting their time".

I'm certainly not in favor of mandatory sentences, becuase there are circumstances that warrant alternate sentences, but there should be some standards, and a judge must be held accountable from varying from those standards...
 
2004-04-22 10:40:31 PM
Why didn't he make him wear a placard saying "I got busted stealing a gay bukkake video."?
 
2004-04-22 10:40:43 PM
Just give the kid community service or something jeez. whats next, pay per view ass paddling specials for people that steal cable?
 
2004-04-22 10:41:59 PM
Bet the judge is an even bigger porn freak...

Yup...methinks someone likes blindfolds a bit much...?
 
2004-04-22 10:47:15 PM
This is why giving morons in law enforcement any sort of discretion is a bad idea.

Myself, I would have taken the thirty days in jail.

And if I was the judge, I would have sentenced the kid to learning how to use the farking internet.
 
2004-04-22 10:49:06 PM
I hate these powermad, tiny-minded little judges who think they're so badass because they can make people do embarrassing things. It's a sign of borderline personality disorder, if you ask me.

I think stealing is a personality disorder. Seriously, I think that this punishment is a lot better than 30 days in jail. If he just got a slap on the wrist, he would be at it again shortly. This kind of punishment is just severe enough to get it through his head that you shouldn't steal other people's stuff.
 
2004-04-22 10:49:11 PM
Judge Michael Cicconetti, known for dishing out unusual sentences

Uh oh...blindfolds and handcuffs and whips, oh my!

/scared
 
2004-04-22 10:54:36 PM
That previous article link with the guy having to ring the bell quite the awesome picture of him to go with it. Though I'm sure that's just a brown coat and pants, doesn't it look at least a teensy bit like an animal costume?

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/2789200/detail.html

 
2004-04-22 10:57:16 PM
doesn't it look at least a teensy bit like an animal costume?

*gets even more scared*
 
2004-04-22 10:59:30 PM
is this the judge that made some guy stand on a corner with a pig holding a sign that said, "this is not a police officer" for calling a cop a pig?
 
2004-04-22 11:00:15 PM
predictable follow-up to story:

Blindfolded kid trips over something, falls and gets hurt.

Kid then sues judge for reckless endangerment, pain & suffering.

Kid's lawyer laughs all the way to the bank.
 
2004-04-22 11:02:04 PM
They left out a few key facts in the article. The judge OWNS the shop in question, he sentenced the kid to wear a blindfold and NOTHING ELSE, and he's allowing customers to spank the poor loser for $2 a smack.

See it all on Judges Gone Wild, available soon from Howard Stern Enterprises Limited Incorporated Amalgamated Smutfarm Videos International Extreme! Now with real butter flavor!
 
2004-04-22 11:02:53 PM
I guess if they printed his name he must not be a juvenile. Everyone will know he's a porno stealer, it'll be embarrassing but hey, I bet he won't do it again. If there's any justice he'll be scared straight AND get some real pussy from those girls who think petty theft is sexy.
 
2004-04-22 11:03:42 PM
A local farker will need to go there between the hours of 11:00 and 3:00 to take a few photos. While there, also steal his pants, but leave his wallet.
 
2004-04-22 11:05:35 PM
You know, standing outside beats the fark out of some of the fines I'm going to be facing.
 
2004-04-22 11:15:41 PM
So the porno watching, can't relate to women, jack his dick, computer programming wanker is now a pinata?

The farkers at work must see a martyr (role model) there.
 
2004-04-22 11:24:24 PM
The judge will make this kid more sexually screwed up than any catholic priest could ever do.
 
2004-04-22 11:31:57 PM
being caught red handed is still better than being causght white handed :)
 
2004-04-22 11:54:46 PM
"aliendave:

'Yeah, this guy does give out unusual sentances. I heard of one where some guy couldn't pay for some damages so he sentanced him to be the other guy's butler.

That would make a great TV show.'

Is that customary in your legal system?"

No. It's a joke from the TV show Seinfield. In that episode, Seinfield writes a script for a TV show, and that's the plot to Seinfield's new TV show.

It's sort of a show-within-a-show. One of the characters in the show writes another show within that show, and that's the plot to the 2nd show.

/ The explanation is more confusing than the joke.
 
2004-04-22 11:56:12 PM
A much better way to steal porn:

/Obscure?
 
2004-04-22 11:58:03 PM
Sim Tree:

I am well aware.

EXECUTIVE 1: We're bit confused. Why was this man Jerry's butler?

GEORGE: Ah. You see, the man who was the butler, uh, had gotten into a car
accident with Jerry, and because he didn't have any insurance, the judge
decreed that the man become Jerry's butler.

EXECUTIVE 1: Is this customary in your legal system?

JERRY: No. That's what makes it such a humorous situation.
 
2004-04-22 11:58:15 PM
Who wants to make bets the kid will kill the judge within 1 year?
 
2004-04-23 12:05:58 AM
Sweet. I don't understand why people have a problem with this kind of discipline. Being humiliated is worse than going to a jail. At jail, there is food, tv, gyms, and fresh air. Sure, there is the ocasional buttsex, but humilatiation for a day is worse, becuase people will eventually forget you were in jail for a month, but no one forgets when you get humiliated.
 
2004-04-23 12:08:46 AM
I don't understand this, he doesn't have to carry a sign or anything? Why the blindfold?
 
2004-04-23 12:09:28 AM
I think that is awful. Granted, he should have be punished for theft, but humiliation is not the same thing as legal punishment. Offer a high school kid 60 days in pound-you-in-the-ass prison or 4 hours of total, publicized humiliation. That's just farked up. I hope the judge gets kidney stones.
 
2004-04-23 12:13:18 AM
I think this is brilliant. With the blindfold anyone could tell the kid they were there. Sure, the kid will be scarred for life but what should a thief expect?
 
2004-04-23 12:21:04 AM
Why would he care if people saw him there? I don't see how it's embarrassing at all. Now, his name being in the paper about him stealing porn.. that's embarrassing.
 
2004-04-23 12:41:17 AM
i don't really have a problem with the punishment- it'd suck to carry it out, but a little humiliation never hurt anyone, and i'd much rather stand there than spend 30 days in jail. and the judge seems to have good alternates to jail time. there should be more of this, our jail system is overcrowded and isn't a punishment for a good deal of the people in there.
 
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